I like being alone.

I like drinking coffee and reading alone.

I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone.

It gives me time to think, and free my mind.

I like eating and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child. A girl with her lover. A person laughing with their best friend. I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.

She sat on the bus with her earplugs in. Nodding along with whatever song played. She passed by many different shops and many different faces. She saw a mother and her child walking down the sidewalk with their hands clasped together. She saw a man with thick glasses propose to a girl wearing a pink dress. She saw two boys sitting at the side of a building laughing at whatever was playing on one of the boys’ tablet. She sighed to herself. She never complained that she was lonely, nope, not once. In fact after a while she got used to it, and she started to enjoy it. Being alone wasn’t always a bad thing, you didn’t have to reply to anyone, you didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing. But being lonely is what she struggled with.

The bus stopped in front of a small café, in which was her stop. She sighed again; standing up in the process and pulling out her ear plugs. She was told to meet a friend at this café, and she didn’t know why she agreed. Well okay he technically wasn’t a friend. He claimed himself to be, but she didn’t call anyone her friend. The winter was nearing its end but it was still quite cold out. Sighing again this time in content of the warm air from the café just as the doors opened, she fisted her hands in her pockets. She sat in the booth nearest to the large glass windows.

“Ah, you actually came.” A male voice spoke from behind her, causing her to jump. He chuckled at her quick reaction and sat across from her in the booth. “Are you ordering anything?” She shivered as a chill went down her spine.

“Something warm,” her voice was small and gentle that’s one thing he loved about her. Yes love. It was crazy to think that someone as crazy as Hoseok could be in love. But there was no doubt in his mind, he loved her. From the way her eyes squinted while she concentrated, to the gentleness of her voice. He loved that she was so independent, and she didn’t need anyone to lean on. But no, everyone needs someone to lean on. Whether it was every day or once every year. He wanted to be that person that she needed. He’d known her for many years before, he had watched as her loud and bubbly personality quickly became calm and quiet. Before she could get up to go order he stood up and forced her to stay in her seat. He knew exactly what she would’ve gotten anyways. A medium mocha, since she doesn’t like hot chocolate. He set her drink down in front of her and returned to his spot. She looked at him confused, before taking a small sip of the steaming coffee. Her eyes widen slightly taking in the exact drink she would’ve ordered if he hadn’t stopped her.

“What?” he chuckled at her cute expression.

“How’d you know I like this drink?” she held tightly to paper cup for warmth.

“You order it every time?” he squinted his eyes before chuckling again. She felt herself smile at the thought, but quickly wiped it off her face before he caught it. But, he did, not only did it make his heart flutter but he soon missed it as she looked down at her lap.

“Why do you always ask me to spend time with you?” she bit her lip looking back up at him.

“I like you,” he shrugged nonchalantly before taking a sip of his own drink.

“Why?” he nearly choked on his hot beverage when she asked him. “Ah, are you okay?” she handed him a napkin, her eyes laced with worry. He accepted the napkin from her hand and wiped his mouth.

“That’s why,” he coughed. She tilted her head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. “You’re really sweet, naïve yet independent, you’re too nice.” Her head went back to its normal positioning. She looked at him with narrowed eyes before getting up from her spot. Yet another time she sighed that day. Walking away from him and the café. Knowing he would follow her she decided not to take the bus home. Unfortunately the cold air rushed by her and whistled in her ears. What was also unfortunate was she was not wearing the proper clothing for this kind of weather. “YAH!” she heard him shout. Quick footsteps were added to that. Not sighing but groaning this time. But she kept her pace fast, taking long but rushed steps. He had finally caught up to her, because for short legs she walked pretty fast.

“Go away Hoseok,” she grumbled not bothering to look at him.

“why? Did I say something wrong?” he kept up with her quick steps.

“Just go away,”

“No, tell me, tell me WHY you’re so afraid of everyone suddenly? You never used to be like this?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“No I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me, WHY? Huh? Why are you so afraid? Why do you push away anyone that cares about you?”

“BECAUSE!” she exploded with anger stopping in her tracks. “Because,” she used a much softer voice this time. He stood with his arms crossed waiting for her answer. “Everyone hurts me that is why I push everyone away. Because everyone uses me, everyone pushes me over, I got tired of it, so I stopped letting people take advantage of me.” Her eyes were glossy with tears. “I push everyone away because I know they’ll get tired of me, there’s no point in trying to care for me; you’ll always get tired of me.” She sniffed, trying to gather herself before falling apart in the middle of a sidewalk. Blinking away her tears she began walking again.

“Y-Yah,” his voice squeaked. Again she kept walking in the opposite direction. Catching up with her another time he pulled on her hand. She looked up at him with confused eyes. He chuckled whilst shaking his head. His fingers laced around hers as he put both their hands into his coat pocket. “You should really wear a thicker jacket if you’re going to be walking home.” She scoffed at him but didn’t bother retrieving her hand. She pulled out her earplugs from earlier in the day. Placing one in her ear and the other in his.

A I like being alone.

I like drinking coffee and reading alone.

I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone.

It gives me time to think, and free my mind.

I like eating and listening to music alone.

But I’d do anything with him.