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Tôt ou tard (it's time to move on)*apologies for failed French and mistakes (i didn't proofread, so if any of you are bothered by smth, do leave a comment so I can fix it)
"Baek, baby, are you done?"
Baekhyun smooths out the last of his folded article of clothing before zipping up the duffel bag. He takes a moment to take one last glance of his bedroom before he leaves for a month. The hesitance on going for a trip to somewhere far from home has been bubbling in the pit of his stomach, but it's relatively less obvious than it had been weeks ago whenever he forces himself to look at the brighter side of life. He had to admit, though, that Chanyeol is the best friend and lover he could have ever asked for. He knew exactly what to say and do at all the right times. Even at times when Baekhyun truly believes he needs nobody, Chanyeol is there to pick him up and prove to him that he does, in fact, need another soul to share his sorrows. Chanyeol has been there through everything, since they first met back in college. He was with Baekhyun through his parent's divorce, when they buried his Jack Terrier together, and when Baekhyun got that call from his mother informing him of his father's admission into the alcohol rehabilitation centre last year. Chanyeol's been there to hold his hand through every storm, not even letting go when it was over, and this time is no exception.
With the bag in hand, he turns to leave the room, heading downstairs where Chanyeol is already at the opened front door with two other large suitcases -- one belonging to each of them. The wide toothy grin Chanyeol flashes him dissolves every remaining ounce of doubt left in him that was threatening to make him change his decision to go on the trip.
For once, Baekhyun truly believes things are going get better when he feels the warmth from Chanyeol's hand engulfing his own.
Baekhyun thinks he has never seen something so beautiful in his life the moment his hungrily flitting eyes settle upon the little bundle past the clear windows. Chanyeol's hand comes to rest lightly above his own that was pressed up agaist the glass.
"Are we allowed to go in? I want to hold him, Yeol," Baekhyun says in a half whine, eyes never leaving the bundle. Chanyeol is uncertain himself but unlike Baekhyun, he's looking at the young neonatal nurse with the kind eyes, tending to a newborn in her arms, who gives him a warm smile and a nod as if to say it was okay. Chanyeol internally sighs in relief and squeezes Baekhyun's shoulder to get his attention.
"Come on." Chanyeol's hand drops and his fingers find companionship in Baekhyun's, slithering naturally in between the cracks. Baekhyun's heart beats erratically in his throat as he allows Chanyeol to lead him inside where there is a lull over the room, a change from the murmur of people outside in the hallway.
"Why are they so quiet?" Chanyeol asks as he glances around, trying to keep his voice down.
"Because they're babies. All they do is sleep," Baekhyun replies in the same hushed tone. He makes a beeline for the crib with the tag "Kim MinYoung". The nurse, having returned the baby in her arms into her respective crib, picks the tightly wrapped up baby and offers him to Baekhyun who stares bewildered at her as if he couldn't believe he could hold him.
"You're the Parks right? Your surrogate is Kim MinYoung?" Baekhyun nods fervently as his eyes fly back down at the baby in her arms. "Here, you can hold him. He's yours."
With slightly shaky hands, Baekhyun takes the baby into his arms and cradles him close to his chest. The moment he places a hand over the boy's chest where his heart lay, he feels the faint yet steady beating of his heart that causes Baekhyun to cease his nervous trembling. Behind him, he feels Chanyeol's chest pressed up against his back and his lips grazing his temple. He brings the small head to his nose and takes a deep whiff of the fresh baby scent that's a mixture of lavender and ivory soap. Mmm. He could get used to this. He runs a slender finger over a closed eye and smooths out the specks of hair. A look of unadulterated love paints his face.
"What are we going to name him, Baek?" Chanyeol's deep voice joins in the moment he's having with his baby. They've discussed about names before. Most had been theoretical, but none had seemed right. Now, however, as Baekhyun marvels at the tiny form in his arms, he finally decides on the one that seems the most perfect for him.
"Bae." Chanyeol smiles at the name.
"Hello, Bae. Baek and I are going to take really good care of you. We're going to love you with all our heart."
Bordeaux is a lovely city just over 300 miles southwest of the overcrowded city of Paris, but unlike that of the capital of France, the city is quiet and boasts of its spacious greenery. This had been perfect for Chanyeol's plan to unwind and forget of their busy lives back in Seoul. On a business trip a few years back, he had been assigned to a kind French man in his mid-thirties who had loved working with the young Korean. They had kept in touch ever since, occasionally exchanging stories of business and family at their own parts of the world. Anthony Dumas, as he's named, happened to own a plot of land with a quaint little cottage along with a small farm nearby. He had often told Chanyeol of how it was a hassle to find someone to tend to it every Summer when he's away on holiday.
This year, however, the tragedy that had befallen the Korean couple pushed Chanyeol to render his help to Mr. Anthony for the Summer and at the same time, it would serve as a getaway for Baekhyun. Because God knows how much the boy really needs one after all that's happened. It took Chanyeol only a few weeks of detailed planning and after convincing Baekhyun that it's something that they both needed, something that would be of great help, he confirmed it with his French counterpart.
The gruelling eleven hour flight to Paris and the five hour drive to Bordeaux had left Baekhyun completely exhausted. As much as Chanyeol wanted to explore their temporary home, Baekhyun came first so he ended up carring the sleeping boy in his arms while the nice cab driver helped him unload the suitcases. Everything was in order, just like Mr. Anthony had mentioned, when he got in. He places Baekhyun onto the queen-sized bed and tucks him in with a kiss to the forehead. He does a little unpacking before the lack of sleep from the plane ride starts to take a toll on him, so he decides to have some shut eye as well. He slips under the covers beside Baekhyun and hesitantly pulls the boy into his arms, relieved that for once in months, he doesn't resist.
"We'll be alright, Baekhyun. You'll be okay," Chanyeol murmurs into his hair before he drifts off into a slumber.
"Bae ah, you're going to grow up to become like Yeol okay? Because he's the bestest person ever. He's kind and caring and handsome and funny... He's everything. He's my everything."
"Yah! Brainwashing him already?"
"Of course! Doctor Hwan says he's at a tender age where he will absorb everything he hears." Baekhyun vehemently argues to put his point across as he cradles the precious being tighter in his arms.
"I heard my name. Are you turning him against me?" Chanyeol frowns in mock hurt.
"I'm not. You'll know what I told him when he grows up to become the most handsome and perfect guy."
Baekhyun is the first to stir awake when the afternoon sun has gone down a bit, lines of orange sunlight like strings of streamers painting the empty ivory wall in front of the bed. It takes him awhile to register that they're not in Seoul anymore, but in Bordeaux. Angling his head, he finds himself staring at a peacefully sleeping Chanyeol. He watches in content at the way his husband's parted lips move with every intake of breath. For the past few months, he often falls asleep curled inwards on the extreme end of the bed. The guilt whenever he sees the dejected look on Chanyeol's face eats away at him inside, and he wanted nothing more than to let the younger hold him till he falls asleep just like always. But the irrational, stubborn side of him always tells him that he doesn't deserve to be comforted by anyone. Especially not Chanyeol. The imperative need for him to place such great distances between himself and Chanyeol often triumphs over his want to find solace in Chanyeol's presence.
Finding himself in the place he calls home, Baekhyun allows the corners of his lips to pull back into a small smile. It feels foreign, because he can't remember the last time he did so, but it feels good nonetheless. He leans up to leave a grazing kiss on Chanyeol's jaw.
"Thank you, and I'm sorry," Baekhyun whispers sincerely against the warm skin. He knows he has been a chore to take care of, especially when he's in one of his bitter moods. He's just lucky that Chanyeol's patient and loves him regardless.
Baekhyun withdraws like a Slinky when Chanyeol starts to rouse from his sleep. The sudden jerking causes the back of his head to collide with the headboard of the bed. The loud thud resonates in the room as he yelps at the pain.
"Are you okay?" Chanyeol asks as seriously as he can, trying his best not to burst out laughing. On one hand, he's concerned for his husband's pretty little head, but on the other, he can't help but be amused at Baekhyun's clumsiness.
He ends up chortling softly as he reaches his free hand -- the one that's not under Baekhyun's neck -- to rub away the discomfort. His heart swells when he sees that the commonly blank(or at times, melancholic) expression on Baekhyun's face is replaced by that of sheer embarrassment. Chanyeol pulls himself up into a sitting position and cradles Baekhyun's head in his hands before kissing the spot the latter has injured. Baekhyun lifts his gaze to meet Chanyeol's when the stinging ceases with the gesture.
"What are you sorry for, Baek?" Chanyeol asks curiously. Baekhyun shoots him a confused look.
"You thanked me, and you told me you were sorry. But there's nothing for you to be sorry for," Chanyeol explains. He takes one of Baekhyun's hands in his and gently rubs the back of it with a thumb. Baekhyun stares wordlessly at Chanyeol, a cloud of doubt still fogging his mind despite the latter's kind words. Chanyeol never stops his subtle reminders to Baekhyun that whatever that has happened isn't any of his fault. Chanyeol seems to contemplate for a second before he decides that it's okay to close the distance and capture Baekhyun's lips in an innocent liplock.
"We'll get through this, okay, Baek." Slowly, but surely.
Chanyeol planned extensively and meticulously for this trip. He really did. What he hadn't taken into account, though, was that they would be close to an hour's drive away from the nearest open shop(convenience stores nearby close when the sun sets) and that they had not packed any meals. All they had were kimchi and chilli sauce. But being good with his hands and on his feet, Chanyeol had cooked up a plan in an instant when he had gone wandering in the backyard and discovered early blooming Apple trees.
"Look what I found, baby!" Chanyeol's voice booms as soon as he returns to the otherwise quiet house. Baekhyun emerges from the kitchen with an apron tied around his waist and a ladle in a hand. Upon seeing his husband, Chanyeol's jaw drops to the floor. It's been awhile since he last saw such a scene. Things had been contrastingly different ever since that fateful incident. Baekhyun had given up on most things, especially things he used to love doing; cooking included. And to see Baekhyun just like how he had been in the past -- it brings back good memories. A mixture of emotions overwhelms him as he stands rooted where he is. Baekhyun, on the other hand, stares in befuddlement.
"Uh, Yeol?" Baekhyun calls timidly, pointing to the apples in Chanyeol's arms. "Where'd you get those?"
"Found them... backyard..." Chanyeol replies distractedly as he takes calculated steps towards Baekhyun till he's towering above the shorter boy. Baekhyun holds his breath as he looks up into Chanyeol's eyes. Chanyeol seems to be lost in the world in Baekhyun's eyes. Past the regret and grief, he sees a light of hope for a better tomorrow.
"I cooked us some army stew. You didn't bring any ingredients, but I did. I could have done without dinner but you didn't have anything to eat on the plane, did you?" Chanyeol grins madly at the revelation. Trust Baekhyun to be the more responsible of the two of them. "We can have those apples for dessert."
"Byun Baekhyun, I love you, you know that?" Chanyeol suddenly says when he snaps out of his daze. Baekhyun blushes hard at Chanyeol's words. Sure, the younger never fails to utter his love for him every day as a reminder, but this time it feels like the first time. Baekhyun is the first to initiate it this time. He wraps his arms around Chanyeol's neck and pulls him in for a kiss. He moves languidly, savouring the moment for all the time he had lost previously fretting over the past. When they pull away, Baekhyun smiles shyly at Chanyeol who gives his trademark lopsided grin in return.
I love you too, more than you know. More than I could ever put in words.
"Yeol, do you think Bae looks more like you or me?" Baekhyun asks as he slowly pulls the shirt over the baby. Chanyeol purses his lips as he thought the question through, keeping his head rested on Baekhyun's shoulder from behind. Bae gurgles in excitement when he sees his father's face once again once his head makes it through the hole. Wordlessly, Chanyeol reaches a long finger out to caress the petal-like skin of the six month old baby's stubby arm.
"Da!" Bae shrieks in glee. It's the first intelligible word Bae has ever said, and a wave of excitement washes over the atmosphere in the room.
"He talked! His first word is "da", me!"
"Yah, he could have been referring to me as well!" Chanyeol retorts teasingly.
"Nope. He likes me better than he likes you." Baekyun sticks his tongue out at Chanyeol who shakes his head in defeat.
Baekhyun plays with Bae's hands in his as he leans down to blow raspberries in the rolls of baby fat that was his stomach. Though Baekhyun's the one making Bae giggle happily, the small being clutches tightly onto Chanyeol's finger, curling his short fingers over it. For a brief second, his round eyes search Chanyeol's as if to say "don't be sad, daddy, I love you as well".
"Baek, he looks like me, but he has your heart."
Baekhyun knew it was a bad idea to roam around in a foreign city with no direction in mind. But against his better judgement, he slips out of bed, s around for a windbreaker in the dark (which happens to be Chanyeol's), laces up his sneakers and sneaks out the house with a quiet click of the door. If he had been back in Seoul, whenever he had one of those haunting nightmares that would render him sleepless, he would have ended up in the park a stone's throw from their apartment or somewhere along the Han River. But being in Bordeaux, there were no rivers nearby, and he had yet to come across any parks. Instead, he walks along the sidewalk of eeriely quiet streets that were reasonably deserted in the wee hours of the morning.
Shivering as a strong gust of wind blows past him, Baekhyun shrinks further into Chanyeol's windbreaker that is a size too big. He ends up quickening his pace when his mind persistently replays the bitter memory. More often than not, it's actually the what ifs that has him feeling like the walls are closing in on him. Would he be in this position if it were not for his own mistakes? Certainly not.
As he comes to a standstill at a traffic light, he notes that the sleeping city of Bordeaux is slowly awakening and the first rays of sunlight marking the morning of a new day peeks out from behind the marble building of a church. He barely bats an eyelid when a man on a moped whizzes by him, but his eyes widen in astonishment when a huge delivery truck drives by. It isn't the vehicle that has him rooted to the ground, but what's displayedon the side of it.
A laughing baby in the arms of a smiling father.
"I'm sorry, Bae," Baekhyun cries as hot salty tears begin to cascade down the side of his cheeks. It's like this every time. He'll see something that ignites the memory of Bae and he'll go into one of his emotional meltdowns. It was tiring on Chanyeol's part to always be the one to try and comfort the inconsolable boy but he could only imagine how exhausted Baekhyun must be after everything.
Back home, Chanyeol awakes to an empty bed. He frantically pats the side to find that it's cold, which means that Baekhyun has been gone for quite some time now.
"Baekhyun? Baby?" Chanyeol voice booms loudly in the pindrop silent house. He opens every room, hoping that for once, Baekhyun hasn't gone for a walk to calm himself down because Bordeaux, despite being a relatively safe country, isn't like Seoul. Baekhyun knows Seoul like the back of his hand, but here, he could barely read signs that were all in French. As much as he would like to think otherwise, Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun is somewhere out there and not in the safe confines of their temporary home.
"Dammit, Baekhyun." Chanyeol curses under his breath along with a few other expletives. He doesn't know if he's more angry or worried, though there's certainly a mixture of both that's causing his adrenaline to rush through his veins and to his head. Once he's outside, slamming the front door behind him, he throws his hands in the air and screams out in frustration.
"Baekhyun. Baekhyun. Where would he be, where would he..." Chanyeol mutters incoherently under his breath. There have only ever been one other time he has felt completely helpless, like he could do anything and everything and it still wouldn't be enough. That had been the moment their bubble of bliss had been prematurely popped, sending their lives into a tumultuous whirlwind. This time, though, comes close enough. Just as he thinks he's about to go into a breakdown, he sees the one thing that always pulls him back from the edge.
He sees Baekhyun wobbling his way down the sidewalk. Chanyeol swallows hard when he notes the redness in Baekhyun's eyes and his tear stained cheeks. He doesn't hesitate to open his arms to allow the smaller and seemingly fragile boy to stumble into his arms. Chanyeol keeps his hold unrelentingly tight around Baekhyun's shoulders as if he was afraid Baekhyun might run away from him if he let go. He lets his thoroughly shaken up husband wet his shirt, watch him clutch desperately onto the front of it. Somewhere in between Baekhyun's broken weeping, Chanyeol manages to carry him inside and onto the couch.
"What is wrong with me, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun chokes out in between sobs, his small voice muffled into the fabric. Chanyeol's heart breaks a little at those words. He repeatedly kisses Baekhyun on the top of his head and brings him even closer though there isn't really much closer they can get.
"Baby there's nothing wrong with you," Chanyeol assures him regardless of the fact that he's not really sure what Baekhyun means. In his arms, he feels Baekhyun lightly shaking his head, knowing there's a frown etched into his features.
"The nightmares, t-they're there all the time," Baekhyun explains through his cries that doesn't seem to die down, "It was my job, Yeol. He trusted m-me. And I ed up."
Chanyeol shushes him, rocks him slowly back and forth. Neither knew how long it was, but Baekhyun finally falls asleep to the low and calming lull of Chanyeol's deep baritone that reverberates through his body.
They don't talk about the incident at all. It remains as another bitter memory, buried in the deepest abyss of their minds, never to be uncovered. Just like everything else they wish to forget.
The first two weeks after the incident truly felt like they were on vacation. On days when they were feeling adventurous, Chanyeol would bring Baekhyun around town like a personal tour guide since he had been there once before. They visited the Bordeaux Cathedral, Jardin botanique de la Bastide (botanical garden) and the Grand Theatre. They rented bicycles and cycled around the city aimlessly. They fed bread to the pigeons by the Grand Square somewhere in the middle of the city, which turned out to be one of the worst memories for Baekhyun who had a fear of birds. Chanyeol, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing at the terrified look on Baekhyun's face as he tried to run away from the chasing flight of birds. Chanyeol had to come save him, whisking him away on his own bicycle.
There were mornings when Baekhyun woke up reverted back to being the same closed off person he was after the incident. Those days were extremely challenging for Chanyeol, but determination has always been a strong suit of his. Instead of going along with the plans he had made to travel the city, he would lead the boy to the hill nearby where they would lie on the grass for hours just talking(on Chanyeol's part, Baekhyun just listens) and watching the clouds go by. There were nights that had time dragging by, nights Chanyeol wished would quickly turn into day. They were nights when Baekhyun's nightmares from Seoul would torture the boy in his sleep. There was nothing Chanyeol could do about these. If he lets it be, Baekhyun would continue to thrash and scream in his sleep. If he wakes him up, Baekhyun wouldn't be able to stop crying and whimpering despite Chanyeol's words of comfort. Either way, it hurts him. He had brought Baekhyun away in hopes of running away from their past back in Seoul, that somehow Baekhyun would forget about it. But Chanyeol came to realise that the monstrous thoughts in Baekhyun's mind are uncontrollable.
They experience one of the warmest nights of summer in the beginnning of their third week in Bordeaux. The heat isn't unbearable like it is back in Seoul, really, because the temperature only ever goes up to 25degrees celcius, but it was still too warm for both their likings so they ended up discarding the blankets to the floor. Baekhyun's mood had been good all day. Not happy, but still good, the best it's been since they first got here. He had laughed, not just smile, at every one of Chanyeol's lame jokes, and even made witty remarks of his own.
After their impromptu trip to the chocolate factory in the afternoon, Baekhyun had returned home with the urge to try and make chocolate of his own. It hadn't turned out as great but they ended up eating boxes of it they had bought from the chocolate boutique. Maybe it was the chocolate (the caffeine stimulants in it) but they had both been high afterwards. Baekhyun had kissed Chanyeol senseless, holding onto him as if his life depended onto it. Chanyeol had picked the petite boy off the wooden floors of the kitchen and brought him back into their bedroom, not once breaking the kiss.
Chanyeol gently sets Baekhyun onto the blanketless beds and proceeds to hover over his smaller form, an elbow beside his head to keep him from falling, and their legs alternating on the bed. Baekhyun breathlessly looks up at Chanyeol, playing with the collar of the latter's wifebeater. There's a small smile playing on his lips, and his eyelashes are perfectly fanning his cheeks, and Chanyeol thinks there has never been a time he has wanted Baekhyun so badly. It feels like his Baekhyun is finally back, and God have he missed him.
"Chanyeol I'm so sorry," Baekhyun whispers hoarsely, the tears prickling in the back of his eyes threatening to fall. Chanyeol knows exactly what Baekhyun's referring to. It catches him off guard because it's been awhile since they addressed the issue of what happened back in Korea. Usually, Baekhyun would just cry to himself(thinking Chanyeol doesn't hear him) or ignore everything that has happened.
"Baek, we've been through this before. It's not your fault. It's just... an unfortunate tragedy," Chanyeol says firmly, though he's having a hard time swallowing back his own tears. "What should I do to make you feel better, Baekhyun? Tell me because it kills me to see you like this. I miss you Baek. I miss us."
Baekhyun bites down hard on his lips in a final attempt to stop his tears from flowing freely. It worked. He lifts his gaze to meet Chanyeol's pleading eyes, and a pang of guilt hits him hard at how desperate Chanyeol seems to want to help him. He takes a deep breath as he sets both hands on either side of Chanyeol's face and buries his own in the crook of the latter's neck.
"Make me forget? Just this once. I'm so tired, Yeol. I'm tired of feeling sad all the time. Everything reminds me of him." Of Bae. His heart clenches at the name he isn't able to say aloud. Chanyeol surrenders to Baekhyun's request, because after all, he would do anything for the boy. Thoughts were forgotten, all the pent up anger and heartache gone as soon as their bodies met. Baekhyun kisses Chanyeol like it's the first time he's come to known of the sweetness of the boy's lips. He lets his tongue roam every crevice of Chanyeol's mouth in a slow and unhurried manner as Chanyeol explores every inch of Baekhyun, from the sensitive skin of the back of his ear to the faint crescent shaped birthmark on the side of his right hip. The last time they had done it had been months ago, and Baekhyun's body was rigid from the lack of touch but Chanyeol made sure to make him soothe him through every affectionate gesture. Chanyeol's heart catches at the absence of the forlornness in his eyes as Baekhyun moves his hips to match the undemanding rhythm Chanyeol had set. Though it was a quiet affair, unlike the ones in the past, it seems to be the most genuine one yet. If there was anything Baekhyun couldn't tell Chanyeol in words, he showed him through his actions.
Afterwards, when there's nothing but sweat and uneven heavy breathing in the warm and still summer night air, the sheets bunched at the bottom like the tangled mess of their limbs, Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun back into his sweat-slicked chest. He nips gently at the perspitation pearling at the corner of Baekhyun's flushed neck and proceeds to leave the chastest kiss on the boy's lips.
That night, Baekhyun has the most peaceful sleep in two months.
Week three is filled with laughter and smiles. Making love becomes a nightly affair, and quiet cuddling afterwards is a routine. Mornings are spent at the small farm nearby where they would tend to the two horses together (Chanyeol's grandmother bred a horse when he was younger) and feed the chickens. Baekhyun was slowly becoming the playful and mischevious self he always was, even pelting Chanyeol with chicken feed when the latter tried to scare him by charging at him with a rooster in hand. Afternoons are spent trying new food at cafés by the roadside offering interesting food off the menus. Crossaints became Baekhyun's favourite food. He had them at almost every meal of the day. By the time they arrive home, the sun would be setting on the horizon. They would sit side by side on the top of the hill and watch the way the pink streaks paint the gradually darkening sky. As Chanyeol subtly reaches a hand out to intertwine with Baekhyun's, Baekhyun thinks that maybe it does get better.
"Was it my fault?" Baekhyun breaks the comforting silence between them. He hasn't talked about it in days though it is always in the back of his mind, but the question is suddenly at the tip of his tongue tonight. The sky is the prettiest it has been. The canvas of sky is littered with numerous stars. Chanyeol shoots Baekhyun a disapproving gaze but he keeps silent. He decides it's best not to reply because their argument might turn ugly. Thank God, Baekhyun drops the subject and continues to gaze at the stars above. An idea pops into Chanyeol's mind as he sits himself up on the grass. He pulls a confused Baekhyun up as well and points a finger to the sky while the other hand holds Baekhyun's.
"You see that? The brightest star in the sky? That's Bae. Look how happy he is."
Baekhyun nods mutely as the quiet tears fall freely from the threshold of his eyes.
"Bae's an amazing little boy, isn't he, Yeol?" Baekhyun looks expectantly to his husband who nods gravely. The eight month old baby couldn't stop pointing at every single thing he sees, be it a bench or a tree or a bird. Though the things he says rarely makes sense, at times, he'd be able to repeat certain words after Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Bae loves it when Baekhyun and Chanyeol brings him out in the stroller to take a walk in the park.
"The best anyone could have ever asked for, Baek." Chanyeol agrees. "When he grows up he'll be a star."
"But I don't want him to become famous! What if all those crazy girl fans hurt him in the process of trying to get him to notice them?" Baekhyun cries indignantly.
"I didn't mean celebrity, Baek. What I mean, is that he'll be a star in our hearts. He'll be the brightest one of them all in the sky." Baekhyun gazes fondly at the loving look on Chanyeol's face as the latter lightly pinches Bae's cheek as he claps his hands in glee.
"You heard that, Bae? Daddy says you'll shine brightly like a diamond in the sky." Baekhyun coos. "I think he's right, Bae. You're so precious, my little star."
Their last week in France they rented a ride from Bordeaux to Paris to spend the remaining days left in the capital city before the departure of their flight from Charles de Gaulle airport. Baekhyun had been looking forward to it all weekend because it was his first trip to Europe. Even for their honeymoon, Chanyeol had brought him to Jeju Island. Of course, when Paris is mentioned, the icon of romance, the Eiffel Tower, comes to mind and Baekhyun hadn't been able to stop talking about it. Chanyeol was just glad Baekhyun was enjoying himself.
"Yeol, try this!" Baekhyun holds out his strawberry and chocolate crepe for the tall boy who leans down to take a bite from it. His lips pull back into a smile at the burst of flavour in his mouth.
"It's nice." Chanyeol comments, nodding his head in approval. "Mine's sweet. Wanna try?" He offers his own blueberry flavoured one. Just as Baekhyun's about to take a bite from it, he retracts his hand and flashes a playful smirk, shaking his head.
"Nu-uh. You're gonna have to try it from here." Chanyeol points a finger to his lips. Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the boy's cockiness but doesn't argue. Instead, he tiptoes and nips the side of Chanyeol's mouth. Just as he's about to pull away, though, a hand swiftly wraps itself around the frame of his waist and he gasps when he finds himself being tugged forward till he's exhaling into Chanyeol's opened mouth. He gets over the initial shock quickly and snakes his arms around Chanyeol's neck, pulling the latter down to deepen the kiss.
"Mmm. You taste like berries," Baekhyun remarks the second they break away. They hold each other's gaze for a moment and Chanyeol is glad to see that there's something different in Baekhyun's eyes. Something that's been missing for quite some time now.
The arm that's draped around Baekhyun's waist remains there for the rest of the day.
Chanyeol should have known that it wouldn't last.
If anything, he should have known that this was a temporary solution to a problem with roots that run deep within. They had saved the best for last. Since they were due at the departure hall in the early morning, they decided to spend their last night at the Eiffel Tower. Chanyeol and Baekhyun found themselves going through numerous different cobbled pathways. Every turn leads them to a new avenue that's maginifecently lighted by street lamps, unfolding a work of art before them. Chanyeol's stream of laughter is never ending as he continuously chuckles at Baekhyun who enthusiastially points at every little lovely thing that catches his eye. The streets of Paris is overcrowded with tourists and residents alike but Chanyeol is sure to keep his hands tightly laced with Baekhyun's smaller one so that they weren't separated. It's when the sun has completely gone down when they finally arrive at the Trocadero, the place their bellboy had suggested to them. Apparently, it's (arguably) the best place to see the Eiffel Tower from. Despite having missed the sunset, they weren't disappointed for the view was breathtaking nonetheless.
"Chanyeol we need to take a picture!" Baekhyun cries as he runs off along towards the other end, leaving Chanyeol behind. Chanyeol chortles at Baekhyun's adorable excitement as he takes the camera out from its pouch. From where he is, a distance away from Baekhyun, he is reminded of their courtship period when there had been nothing but romance and corniness. It was one of the best times of their lives; he had felt really blessed and content. Baekhyun had been happy, always wearing that beaming smile. He remembers how he had been insecure about being really corny (because no matter what he did, it always looked like he was trying too hard) but Bekhyun had assured him. "You know what they say: corniness is honesty wrapped in cliche. Don't worry, you're really cute when you're corny."
Chanyeol snaps a few pictures of Baekhyun, marvelling at how stunning Baekhyun comes out in all of them. He zooms in, wanting to capture a better angle of Baekhyun's face when the latter suddenly looks straight into the lens. A small frown creases into his forehead as he folds his arms across his chest.
"Yeol! You're supposed to take pictures of the Eiffel Tower! Not me," Baekhyun chides.
"I can't help it, Baek. I promised my sister I'd take lots of pictures of beautiful things in Paris. And, well, nothing here compares to you." Chanyeol shrugs, trying to keep from smiling to show that he was serious. Baekhyun is robbed of words as a light shade of pink tints his cheeks, heat rising quickly from behind his ears. He struggles to bring himself together when he sees Chanyeol sauntering towards him with a coy smile.
"So now I'm a 'thing'?" Baekhun attempts to keep his angry tone but his voice falters at the end when Chanyeol is finally inches away from him.
"Hands down, the best 'thing' that has ever happened to me, that is." Chanyeol clarifies himself. An unusual look flashes across Baekhyun's face but it goes unnoticed by Chanyeol who dips and seals his claim with a tender yet passionate kiss.
"Baek, the baby is crying," Chanyeol mutters sleepily, his voice deep and words almost unintelligible. It has almost been a year since Bae entered their lives but Chanyeol, being one who sleeps a lot, had yet to get used to Bae's cries of hunger in the middle of the night. Usually, he'd leave the night watch to Baekhyun and make it up to him by taking over in the mornings and some afternoons. A few seconds later, he jolts awake when a pillow hits him hard on the face.
"Stop calling him the baby. We named him Bae, so it would be nice if you used his name every once in awhile," Baekhyun mumbles, annoyed, as Chanyeol groans in pain.
"Are you hungry, darling? Is that why you're crying?" Baekhyun coos as he walks towards the crib where Bae has his stubby arms outstretched, eyes wet with tears. Baekhyun picks him up and his cries instantly turn into hiccups just as Baekhyun settles him on the side of his hip. He kisses the boy's hair before moving around to prepare the baby formula. Baekhyun hums lightly as he helps Bae hold the bottle up for him to drink. Despite the eyebags under his eyes from months of tending to baby Bae, he loved doing it because that meant spending time with him.
Tonight was different, however. Bae is almost done with his milk when Baekhyun feels heavy breathing on the back of his neck. He barely flinches though because he has gotten used to it after being with Chanyeol for years. What he wasn't expecting, though, was for Chanyeol to wrap his arms around his torso and to rest his head on his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. There's a faint kiss to the side of his neck that lingers for a moment and Baekhyun feels himself melting into Chanyeol's embrace. Bae has somehow fallen asleep, small mouth pouted open, and head lolling to the side so Baekhyun moves to cradle him instead.
"I'm sorry, Baek. Please don't be mad at me," Chanyeol says in a hushed voice as Baekhyun tucks the sleeping baby back in the crib. Baekhyun turns around in Chanyeol's hold and returns the hug, resting the side of his head against Chanyeol's chest.
"I'm not mad, baby. I was just cranky from sleep."
"Oh, should have known," Chanyeol mumbles into Baekhyun's hair as the latter smiles. Baekhyun pulls away and gazes at their peacefully sleeping baby. Calm moments like these were rare in the house, considering how Bae was a healthily active baby, but when it happened, Baekhyun relishes in them.
"Yeol, what's the best thing that's ever happened to you?" Baekhyun questions, curious about what Chanyeol's answer would be. For him, though being in a holy matrimony with Chanyeol, his best friend and lover, has made him the happiest he could ever be, the day he first held Bae in his arms wins best moment by a slight margin. There's a small pause in which Chanyeol contemplates on the question.
"I can't choose between you and Bae, to be honest."
"We should make a family portrait," Baekhyun declares as he pulls Chanyeol along by the hand. They were on their way back to the hotel and they decided to take the route along a bridge that would lead them there. Along the bridge, freelance artists sit on their stools with a canvas before them, painting people and the surroundings. They stop at one who was finishing up a painting of a little girl.
"Peindre?" Chanyeol points to the both of them. The man gives a warm smile and a thumbs up, gesturing for the both of them to lean against the railings. Chanyeol watches in confusion as Baekhyun hurries towards the man and whips out something from his pocket before using hand gestures to explain what he wants. The man gives another thumbs up and motions for Baekhyun to join his husband.
"What did you say to him?" Chanyeol asks through his smile as he turns to face Baekhyun. The latter smiles mysteriously and slides an arm around Chanyeol's torso.
"Face the front or he won't be able to see your handsome face," Baekhyun chides, cupping Chanyeol's chin and tilting his face to the front. Chanyeol continues to affectionately rub his hand against Baekhyun's waist throughout the whole process, occasionally making small talk about how beautiful the scenery was. It didn't take long, though. Soon, the man called them back to receive their painting. Baekhyun pries himself away from Chanyeol's hold and takes back his photograph before holding up the masterpiece to admire it. He turns back, beaming at Chanyeol whose smile fades as soon as he sees the painting with his own eyes.
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol ventures warningly. Initial disappointment creeps from within, but it quickly boils into anger and frustration.
"Baekhyun, I thought you were over this," Chanyeol says through gritted teeth, his fist clenching at the sides. He's trying his best to keep his calm but he realises he has finally reached his limit. He doesn't think he can take anymore of this. And it scares him. It really does.
"Why can't I put my baby's picture in the family portrait, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asks condescendingly. "He's still a part of our family, is he not?"
Chanyeol chooses to ignore the hurt he feels when Baekhyun addresses Bae as his baby and not theirs. Instead, he's more vexed at the fact that Baekhyhun's behaving the same way he had been two months ago when they lost their bundle of happiness. This Baekhyun is the one Chanyeol feared. The one that's deluded and can't seem to accept the fact that they were never going to get that part of their lives back. Chanyeol hands the artist the necessary amount of notes and tears the painting from Baekhyun's vice-like grip on it, earning a gasp from Baekhyun. With his other hand, he reaches for Baekhyun's arm and pulls him along, ignoring Baekhyun's shrieks to unhand him. Anger rises in him like bile and before he knows it, he's stopping in the middle of their hotel's lobby. Against his better judgement, Chanyeol angrily tears the painting into shreds as Baekhyun watches in horror.
"What are you doing?!" Baekhyun finally finds his voice when he snaps out of his daze.
"You see this, Baekhyun? Do you think I can piece it back together?" Chanyeol asks threateningly, holding the torn canvas in two hands and trying in vain to fix it. "No! I CAN'T! Just like how I can't bring Bae back. Nothing can bring him back, Baekhyun!"
By then, some passers-by were giving them strange looks, and silent tears were running down either side of Baekhyun's cheeks as he hangs his head low. He lifts a hand up to wipe at them futilely as he lifts his gaze to meet Chanyeol's livid eyes.
"Then why can't you get that I can't move on, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asks quietly. "I can't stop feeling regret, guilt. I can't stop being so sad. I can't stop myself from thinking about following Bae to wherever he's gone." Chanyeol wants to beat himself up for being the cause of the heartbroken look in Baekhyun's eyes, but he can't bring himself to take that step forward and pull Baekhyun into his embrace, like all those other times when Baekhyun cries.
"Let me ask you something, Baekhyun. What's kept you holding on for this long if you've had such thoughts?"
Baekhyun seems to contemplate for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as if not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles for, "You. Whenever I have such thoughts I try to think of you."
"Then what's changed?"
After the whole fiasco at the hotel, Chanyeol had been the first to walk away to head up to the room, leaving Baekhyun. For the latter, it certainly felt as though Chanyeol had finally given up on him. And it hurt, it really did. Baekhyun had anticipated it, knowing that Chanyeol is only human and he was bound to snap. But now that he did, Baekhyun felt lost.
When they reached Seoul, the first night home, Chanyeol slept on the couch. They had barely spoken to each other but there were just too many things on their minds. The following morning, Baekhyun wakes up to an empty apartment and a note that read: I can't do this anymore. I'll be at Kris' till you figure out what you want.
What does he want, though? Baekhyun has no idea. Baekhyun knows that what he wants will never be possible. Not in this lifetime, anyway.
"C-Chanyeol..."
Chanyeol has only ever heard that tone once when Baekhyun had called him to tell of his beloved grandmother's death, and he could only pray that this wasn't a repeat of that dark time. All he could hear was muffled sobs and Baekhyun's endless mutter of "I'm sorry's".
Accidental suffocation, is what the doctor relays to them. He explains to the grieving couple that it's not common but it has happened and there is nothing anybody could have done for him. It's just unfortunate that it occurred while he was asleep. Despite that, Baekhyun can't help but to blame himself. He had been doing the laundry when it happened. If he had stayed with Bae while he slept, maybe none of this would have happened. He would still be here, laughing in glee, clapping his hands and screaming random incomprehensible words. They would be celebrating the ever important first year of his life on earth.
"It's not your fault," Chanyeol repeats like a mantra as he holds the inconsolably weeping boy, unable to stop tears of his own.
For three days, his mother and Kyungsoo called a few times but he didn't have it in him to explain what happened with Chanyeol, neither did he want to have a conversation of any sorts, so eventuallly, he switched it off and threw it under his bed. Instead, he stays cooped up in the apartment watching all the videos of Bae they had taken during his short time with them. There was the time they brought him to the pool, to the zoo, on a river cruise. In all the videos he was smiling and laughing. He had seldom cried, and that's what Baekhyun loved about him. He was a happy baby.
Baekhyun curls further into the sofa, watching the captured memories in longing. The picture suddenly changes to show a young Chanyeol with newly-dyed chestnut brown hair slow-dancing with a comparatively much shorter boy with dirty blonde hair whose nuzzling into the other's chest.
"Look at those two lovebirds!" He hears Jongin cooing and a few catcalls in the background.
"Why are you taping them, Kyungsoo?"
"It's so precious!"
Baekhyun slowly sits up and reaches for the remote on the table to pause when the camera zooms in on them. Chanyeol was leaning down to whisper something into his ear and though his face was hidden, Baekhyun could see the slight smile. He remembers that day. It was his birthday, which also happened to be their third anniversary of being together. Baekhyun can never foget those words Chanyeol had whispered to him that night.
"I'm gonna marry you, Baek, and I'm going to make you the happiest you'll ever be, I promise."
"You're already keeping that promise, Yeol," had been his reply.
Baekhyun swallows hard to rid the huge lump in his throat that had appeared at the fond memory. Back at Paris, Chanyeol had asked him what's changed and he hadn't had an answer to that. Now he knows that the answer is nothing. Chanyeol is still the only person who could make him feel that way. "When there is a will, there is a way". Baekhyun just had to find his will again so Chanyeol could help him.
In all the years they've been together, Chanyeol has always been the one doing the wooing, while Baekhyun enjoys the way Chanyeol showers him with love and affection. This time, however, Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol deserves to be on the receiving end. Baekhyun is almost certain that he has missed Chanyeol terribly, even more than he had presumed, when he finds himself overwhelmed with the desire to be back in Chanyeol's embrace the second his eyes meet the latter's.
"Chanyeol, I'm sorry. Please come back." The words tumble out of his mouth as Chanyeol stands there with a hand still on the door, an unreadable expression ghosting across his face. Baekhyun twists his hands in anticipation, but seeing as to how the other's eyes soften, he presses on.
"I know you try so hard, you're the only reason we haven't fallen apart. You keep us together." Baekhyun takes a deep breath and finally musters the courage to take Chanyeol's hand in his. "What I'm trying to say is, it's time I started trying. So, uh, I'm taking you out on a date."
Chanyeol seems to be a little lost, going through all the different emotions at Baekhyun's sudden and unexpected appearance before his lips pull back into a small, impish smile. Baekhyun internally squeals when Chanyeol tugs on the hand that's in Baekhyun's to pull him into a tight hug.
"Would it kill you to admit that you've missed me?" Chanyeol teases as he tilts Baekhyun's chin up with a finger so he could gaze into his eyes. Baekhyun replies to the question by tiptoeing to press his lips against Chanyeol's, gently nibbling on the bottom.
Ddeokbokki, roller skates and interlaced hands. They were reminiscent of one of their usual dates on the weekends during their college days. Baekhyun was determined to bring those times back, as was the reason why they were cruising along the intended path, pulling each other along. It's been years since they last brought out those darn skates and Baekhyun's having a tough time trying to keep his balance. Despite Chanyeol being the more uncoordinated of the two, he's doing a pretty good job.
"This was a dumb idea, wasn't it? I can barely keep straight," Baekhyun grumbles as he struggles to avoid a twig on the ground. Chanyeol is more than pleased to have Baekhyun clinging onto him despite the deep marks his nails are leaving on his arm.
"Don't worry about that, Baek. I've got you," Chanyeol assures him, squeezing his hand. "You just concentrate on feeding me and I'll pull you along."
Baekhyun happily obliges and uses a pick to stab at a piece of ddeokbokki before offering it to Chanyeol who bites into it with a smile.
"Yeol, my feet are killing me," Baekhyun whines.
"Come on, I'll carry you."
"Don't be dumb, Yeol, I'm too heavy."
"Nothing I can't do for my baby," Chanyeol smirks as he playfully pinches Baekhyun's cheeks, causing the latter to flush a deep shade of red. Baekhyun vehemently continues to protest till Chanyeol agrees to take a rest. They slow down to a stop at an empty bench nearby and Chanyeol tugs Baekhyun down next to him. Comfortable silence settle between them as they take the time to catch their breaths and enjoy the calming nature of their surroundings. Baekhyun didn't have to ask Chanyeol to know that he was thinking about the same thing that's been keeping both of them awake for the past few days. Friends have subtly suggested it to them as a form of moving on but because they had been too wrapped up in the mourning(more so on Baekhyun's part), such an idea had not been a topic of discussion for them. Chanyeol has taken Baekhyun's recent effort as a sign that he's recovering from the trauma of the incident and it definitely prompts him to touch on the subject they have skirted for months.
"Do you think we'll ever be ready again?" Chanyeol gently voices his question, sneaking a glance sideways at Baekhyun who visibly tenses. The latter stares down at his hands in his lap and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He takes a moment to ponder over it and is mildly surprised at the small smile that tugs on his lips.
"There's no harm in hoping, right? Maybe in the future. Time heals everything, they say." Baekhyun's gaze shifts towards the other.
"Time is what we have," Chanyeol returns the smile as his arm snakes around Baekhyun's waist.
"You're what I have," are the words that runs through Baekhyun's mind as he places a chaste kiss to Chanyeol's lips.
The next few weeks were like a blast into the past for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Work resumed, but they continued to relive old dates. Friday nights were movie nights, Saturdays they go through the list they'd made of places they used to go to when they were in college, and Sundays they would spend the day baking and the night watching a movie. Baekhyun truly felt like a kid again apart from all the paperwork he slaves over every weeknight. Baekhyun finds himself gradually putting what's happened behind him. The nightmares stopped, the guilt dissipated and that heavy melancholic feeling he used to experience went away every time Chanyeol flashed him the impish grin that holds a place in his heart.
It was two months after the discussion they had about the issue of having another child. They were slowly beginning to open up once again to their circle of friends, and it just so happened that it was Chen's birthday and Kris had volunteered Chanyeol's and Baekhyun's apartment as the venue for the party. The gang used to sleepover after a party, but when Bae came, Baekhyun refused to allow any parties take place under his roof mostly because he didn't want his baby to be in the presence of alcohol, but partly because their apartment only had two rooms and the guest room had been converted into Bae's room.
Baekhyun had delegated the work such that he would be the one to nip down to the store to get the food whereas Chanyeol was in charge of tidying up the apartment. Baekhyun was in for a shock when he returned from his errand.
There are boxes out front in the living room that greet him the second he enters. From where he is, he recognizes an old blanket of his that's peeking out from under the lid of a box.
"Yeol? When I said tidy up I didn't mean spring cleaning." Baekhyun walks over an oddly placed box and drops the plastic of food onto the sofa before kneeling beside an open box. He gingerly lifts a piece of blue cloth from the pile and his jaw drops when he holds it up to see that it's Bae's old bib. He drops it back inside and scrambles to his feet, rushing to the baby's room where the sight he sees is one out of his worst nightmare.
"Chanyeol, what did you do?" Baekhyun's voice trembles as he takes in everything. The dismantled crib, the discarded tins of baby formula and the big space of nothing. Everything's gone. The only remnants of Bae ever having slept here was the teddy bear wallpaper. Even the milky scent of him was gone. The tears were sudden and overwhelming, just like the anger that grips him.
"Baek, calm down--"
"What the have you done, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun shrieks over Chanyeol's attempts at trying to reason with him but Baekhyun is past the point of trying to make sense of things. This was worse than that episode of him almost getting lost in the streets of Bordeaux. This truly feels like the world is against him.
"Baekhyun, I'm just cleaning out the room so--" Chanyeol tries once again but is abruptly cut off.
"Why are you trying to erase Bae from our lives? Why are you pretending that he never existed!? Did you not love him!?" Baekhyun screams, his voice now hoarse from the yelling and crying he'd done before. His face is flushed and eyes bloodshot. "Or are you trying to mock me, because it's all my fault after all?!"
", Baekhyun, how could you!" Chanyeol snaps, Baekhyun's remark finally igniting the fury in him. Bewilderment replaces the anger on Baekhyun's face as he stumbles backward from the shock at Chanyeol raising his voice at him. They've had arguments in the past, never shoutiing fests, and the most severe had been the one at Paris. But never has Baekhyun seen this side of Chanyeol. There was a hint of hurt and something else. Anguish?
"That's your problem, Baekhyun! You never acknowledge the fact that Bae was my baby too. I know you're grieving but he was my little boy too. And instead of trying to move on, you insist on staying trapped in the past where you can see nothing but your faults." He takes a deep breath and pauses as if trying to internally cope with his feelings. "Have you ever considered how I felt Baekhyun? Hasnt it occurred to you that we're both grieving and if there's a chance we could ever move on from this, we'd have to do it together?"
Baekhyun watches mutely as Chanyeol slid languidly to the ground and buries his face in his arms that were propped on his knees. He is still reeling from the shock of Chanyeol's outburst, but his heart ached at the deep heartwrenching sobs resonating in the room. Chanyeol has always been the emotionally stronger of the two of them, and for him to break down like that, it could only mean that he had been keeping it in all this while. Baekhyun doesn't think he has seen Chanyeol look as small as he does now.
"I know you had a special bond with Bae, but that doesn't mean I loved him any less." If it weren't so quiet, Baekhyun would have missed Chanyeol's confession. He blinks to rid his eyes of the wetness, his tears had stopped long ago when Chanyeol had been venting out his frustrations at him. Sniffling, Baekhyun wipes his nose with the back of his arm and moves to take a step towards Chanyeol who keeps his face hidden from view.
"Don't come any closer, Baekhyun," Chanyeol asserts lowly, voice raw from crying. "I don't want you anywhere near me right now."
Baekhyun feels his tears threatening to spill over once more, but this time it's not because of his grief or anger, but out of sorrw for having been rejected fby the love of his life. He has really done it this time. Baekhyun gives in to Chanyeol's request and chooses to sit crossed legged where he was instead. Minutes pass, accompanied by nothing but soft sniffles on Chanyeol's part and heavy hiccupping from Baekhyun who stares dejectedly at Chanyeol's quavering figure. There was nothing he could say or do to fix it and that's what kills him inside. Eventually, Chanyeol's quiet cries subsided and he finally his gaze to meet Baekhyun's. There was no more rage in his eyes, but there was a certain exasperated quality to them. Steadily, but decidedly, he takes off the silver band that's snugly fit onto his ring finger. Baekhyun bites down hard on his lip to stop himself from crying again when Chanyeol places the ring on the floorboards and slides it across the room such that it stops right in front of him.
"I tried to be the best for you. But maybe I'm not what you need right now."
"Is this the last box?" Chen asks through a grunt as he hauls the remaining of the boxes.
"Yup. That's the last of everything." Baekhyun notes. "I still feel bad for this, though. I ruined your birthday party last week and now I'm making you carry my stuff."
"If you say that one more time I'm going to reconsider the offer to my spare bedroom for real," Chen warns as Baekhyun smiles sheepishly. "Anyway, I'll leave you to wrap things up here. I'll be waiting in the car."
With that, his friend disappeared into the elevator just as the doors were closing. When Baekhyun turns around, he comes face to face with Chanyeol who has a scarily indecipherable look on his face. Chanyeol hesitantly holds his hand palm side up. Pressing his lips into a thin line of ache, Baekhyun drops his key into the opened hand and then lifts his gaze to meet Chanyeol's.
"So, I guess this is it."
"Yeah."
"I'll, uh, see you next time?"
"Yeah, see you. And have a safe flight." Baekhyun forces a small smile. He doesn't miss the flash of disappointment in Chanyeol's eyes.
"Oh, before you go..." Chanyeol reaches into his pocket and pulls out a picture. Baekhyun delicately takes it in his hands and studies it with yearning. It's one of the earliest pictures of him with Bae in his arms, and Baekhyun is sporting the widest smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. He has never seen it before, but it was probably taken by Chanyeol himself.
"I thought you should have that." Baekhyun smiles appreciatively and nods in response, clasping the photograph to his chest. With one last glance, Baekhyun turns to leave. Despite his separation from the love of his life, the outlook on the future seems pretty bright, Baekhyun thinks. There's a new sense of determination and freedom when he reads Chanyeol's message to him written in his scrawny handwriting on the back of the photograph.
Our little star shines brightest in your eyes when you smile. I hope you find him soon.
NOTE: Yo, so I know the format is all over the place sorry :( Anyway, the (short) epilogue will be up... soon.
P.s: This was inspired by some book I read awhile back but I can't remember the title. Credit to that story's plot though. Also, I chose Bordeaux bcs I've been there(stayed with my penpal) and it's such a quiet and calm city (as opposed to where I live)
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