Have you tried doing something crazy or something new just to put some spice on your monotonous life?

I just realized that sometimes you need to try new and weird things just to feel you are alive, that you belong.

Fear is the greatest incapacitator in life and if you’ll let it eat your confidence and pride, nothing will be left on you.

Why am I telling this?

Because I once lived in a world filled with nonsense fear.

Fear of falling in love.

I was hurt before.

I was left.

 

Here I am, trying the craziest thing for me.

It’s just a try.

Just a try.

 

 

 

I was sitting alone on the corner of my favorite coffee shop. I took a long sip on my favorite white chocolate mocha, my perfect reliever after a long stressful day in school. Well, it’s been a crazy long hell week for me as a college student. Here I am, drinking the stress I had.

 

“Ma’am here’s your tissue.”

 

“Oh, thanks.” I took the extra tissue I asked for a while ago.

 

I watched Naru went back to her station. She’s a friend of mine since I started hanging out in this coffee shop. It’s my favorite place. Quiet, calm and relaxing, I just love the smell of coffee. I love coffee.

 

Hi~ I’m Eun, can we be friends?

 

 Just by staring at the couples and singles staying in the coffee shop made me think of something I don’t usually do – do something that the crazy ones do.

 

I took my extra tissue and scribbled something on it.

 

Hi~ I’m Eun. What‘s your name?

 

I saw this in some shows and even in movies. Just want to try if it’ll work for me too. Just for fun Eunhee.

I inserted the tissue under the table in between the metal frame of it. I made sure that a small part of it could be seen by someone.

 

 

***

 

I went back a day after on my favorite spot where I have left my note and to my surprise, it is still there. Hoping that someone had read it already, I took it and read it.

 

Hi~ I’m Eun. What’s your name?

 

 

I’m Lulu. How old are you?

 

 

Someone replied. I took my pen from my bag and wrote again.

I’m 22 years old. How old are you?

 

 

 

That’s the start of my conversation with a stranger. Honestly, I found it interesting. For the first time, I felt happy and I’ve even forgotten the past I’ve been through.

 

This is the start of my weirdest conversation with the strangest guy I met.

 

 

 

I’m 26 and I’m working already. You?

 

 

I’m a student. In what field are you at?

 

 

The road less taken and the noblest profession of all.

 

 

Oh~ so you’re a teacher?

 

 

Hmm~ yeah, a professor and at the same time coach of our soccer team in school.

 

 

Wow. You must be really good in soccer. By the way, isn’t it weird we’re talking in tissue and pen?

 

 

Not that much. Nope, I find it cute and unique.

 

 

It’s classic, old style? But, yeah, somehow, I found it cute too.

 

 

So, what’s your course?

 

 

Same line as yours Sir~

 

 

Oh~ an aspiring teacher. Nice. Well, we can share a lot of things with one another. What do you think?

 

 

I guess so. Maybe, I can ask some help from you in doing my homework and projects. Kekekeke~

 

 

Naughty huh.

 

 

Day by day, I’ve been getting tissue notes under the table I always sat on - the same handwriting and the same kind of feeling whenever I read his notes.

There’s this some kind of feeling that urges me to write and respond on his notes more often that sometimes, I’ll be staying for twice a day on the coffee shop to check for his new notes. And well, maybe he is too.

 

How’s your day Eun?

 

 

Just fine. :(

 

 

Why is there a sad face? Are you really okay?

 

 

*sighs*Honestly, not really fine.

 

 

Do you want me to make you feel well?

 

 

Can you? How?

 

 

I have a tip to make you feel happy.

 

 

What is it?

 

 

Usually, when I’m sad, I eat more than I could handle. A dozen of donuts,  a bucket of chicken or even eat a gallon of ice cream in one sitting.

 

 

All of that? Isn’t that too much? That’s a lot of cholesterol. And, no offense, are you overweight or underweight?

 

 

Hahaha. I’m in the middle. You’ll know once we meet. Are you that conscious of your weight? I don’t mind if a girl will look fat or thin. As long she’s kind, it’s fine with me.

 

 

Sweet talker teacher. So, when will you pay for a bucket of chicken for me?

 

 

When do you want? Just set the date and place.

 

 

***

With that, I can’t help myself from expecting for his response. Since then, we became friends in paper and pen.

He shared his stories and even secrets and the same way around, I felt comfortable telling him my past, and even my dreams. We became open with one another. This unusual relationship we have lasted for a long time and yet, we haven’t met until now. But, due to some personal reasons I had, my visit in the coffee shop lessened.

 

And a month after, new notes of him almost filled up the spaces under the table. Maybe, Naru had known our secret conversation and left some of the notes. Based on the dates written above, there are few notes missing.

 

Did you miss me?

 

 

A lot. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for your reply for almost, a month? Tell me, what’s wrong? Is it about your family again?

 

 

Chill. I’m fine and well, thanks for your concern and yes, it’s about my younger brother again. It’s just hard to be the eldest sometime. I have to take responsibilities and forgetting myself for it.

 

 

I see. Just hold on. I know you’re brave and I know you can do it. Talk to him. Don’t lose hope on your brother. Make him realize what he might miss out in his life if his going to self destruct.

 

 

Thank you. You made my day.

 

 

You’re always welcome.

 

 

***

 

Then, one day, after a few months, our conversation turned out to be more personal.

 

Why did you ask if I have boy friend?

 

 

I’m just afraid that I’ll be killed by your boy friend if he found out our secret conversation.

 

 

How many times I have told you that I don’t have a boy friend? A huh. So you’re afraid that you’ll not be able to taste the heaven of chicken. Childish professor.

 

 

Just checking. Yeah right.

 

 

Comfortable we are, suddenly, I felt so weird. There’s this different kind of feeling I always have. I hate to feel it because suddenly, I feel afraid. On the other hand, I love it in a way that I wanted to pursue what we have started. I’m just afraid that I’ll be hurt again. I’m scared that I have trusted the wrong guy. I doubted that I have let my heart be attached to someone I have never seen.

Is it possible to fall in love with you haven’t met?

My answer is yes.

Because, eventually, this weak heart of mine fell in love with him

 

 

***

It’s March 10, 2014, my birthday. As a gift, Naru had given me some gift checks as one of their loyal customer and today, I’m going to use them all. Hoorah~

I took my order on the counter after a few minutes – white chocolate mocha, my heaven.

This is the first time I came here within this day. Excitedly, I went to my favorite spot but to my surprise. There’s someone sitting already. My brows pulled together at the sight of a young man reading a thick paperback book. He must be a professional by the looks. He’s wearing dark brown long sleeves and his hair shines in black. From my view, I can only see his hair and his top, other than that, nothing else. I hurriedly went nearer to my place because as far as I can remember, I have reserved that area but then, there’s someone occupying it already.

 

“Excuse me.” I calmly called his attention.

 

He placed down his book on the table and looked up on me, “Yes?”

 

 

A… a… lesbian? N-no… a guy? Seriously, His prettier than me.

I mentally shook my head from my weird thoughts.

 

 

“I think you’re seating on the wrong table.” I pointed up on him, keeping up my poise in front of him.

 

I watched his expression changed. He blinked for a couple of times.

“But I reserved it a week ago.”

 

“I think we are having a little misunderstanding here.”

 

I took the sign placed in the middle for reservation. Reservation is allowed in this coffee shop – another reason why I love to stay here.

 

“Can’t you see? There’s my name. Eunhee. Park Eunhee.” I told him as I raised the piece of card board to his face.

 

He read it and then he spoke, “Oh, you really have your name there.”

 

I put down my tray on the table and sat in front of him as if claiming my seat already. “See?”

 

“But…”

 

My eyes narrowed.

 

“I have my name there too.” He said.

 

I flipped the piece of card board and read it, “Luhan?”

 

“That’s my name. I reserved this for my friend’s birthday.”

 

“Your friend’s birthday?”

 

He nodded and a smile came across his face. That was the only time I took a chance to linger my eyes on him. His smile is one of the sweetest and most beautiful one that I have seen. There’s this kind of sincerity on the way he smile that I couldn’t even help myself but let my lips be pulled into a thin smile - beautiful yet manly at the same time.

 

For a moment, silence lingered on our place. It was like time had stopped for us and all we could do is to gaze on each other’s faces as if we’re memorizing each other’s details.

 

My heart thumps and pumps as if it knows him and remembers something about him. It was the same kind of feeling whenever I talk to my friend, Lulu.

 

He tilted his head and then he cracked a bigger smile.

“Hi. My name is Luhan. My friends call me Lu-ge but I’m known to you as, Lulu. Happy birthday Eun, or should I call you Eunhee?”

 

“Lulu?”

“Yep.”  He vibrated a soft laugh as he saw my reaction.

 

“You are Lulu?”

 

He cupped his chin as he rested his elbow on the wooden table.

“Even how many times you’ll ask my name, there’s nothing that would change; I’ll be your Lulu as long as you want. Nice to meet you Eun.”

 

Things happened in a matter of second.

Fate played me and tricked me in some simple ways.

I had fallen to the pit that I had dug out in the first place.

Here I am, sitting in front of him.

Maybe, this will be the start of something new.

I’m going to give myself a chance to fall in love again.