Today is like any other of those 760 days from before where I constantly sit in my apartment wondering about love, life, and you. I constantly replay back those last moments we had together where we fought and argue constantly about our relationships before we finally broke up. You said that I did not understand you more like you had thought. How I only cared about myself and did not think much of your feelings. Then what about my feelings? How did you think I felt when I saw you wrap your arms around another woman’s shoulder and I dismissed it? Another time when you bailed on our date we planned weeks before to hang out with your friends? What about me?

Sitting in my bed I felt my tears slide down my face effortlessly. My white curtains were ruffling from the wind coming from my balcony door that was not closed all the way. The sun from outside shone through lifting up the room gloomy appearance into something more calm and beautiful. I hated it. Getting up from my bed I walked out of my room lifelessly to my living room where a flash back of me and you came to mind.

“Jiyong stop taking pictures of me!” I yelled happily as I tried to block my face from his view. He was holding onto his polariod camera trying to take his seventh picture of me. “You already have so much pictures of me alone!”

“Sohee-ah I just want to take one more of you and me together.” He spoke as I slowly brought down my arms.

“You promise?” I arch my right eyebrow and ask.

“Promise, now come on just one more.” He scoots and sit by right side and holds up the camera right in front of the both of us. “One…two…three!” He counts to three and kisses me on my left cheek right when the camera clicks leaving me in shock.

“Yah what was that for?!” I ask hitting him in the arm as I pouted while he laughs setting the picture down to cool off.

“Ah my mandu don’t get mad at me, I bet you liked the kiss just now.” He teases as my face starts to turn red.

“Yah Kwon Jiyong.” I said sternly as he sets down the polariod camera and grabs me by the waist pulling me closer to him. He smiles genuinely as his face came closer to mine. I smiled back as I leaned in for the kiss as well.

I smiled thinking about that moment and turn to face my kitchen and notice the polariod picture we took and I kept on the fridge. As you kissed me on the cheek your lips had a hint of a smile as I looked surprise in the picture. You kept insisting I did the famous ‘omona’ face and teased me about it. Just as I stiffle a laughter out of my mouth another flashback come to mind.

“I’m Kwon Jiyong nice to meet you.” You took out your hand for a handshake. You were the first many boys that were confident enough to approach me at the club. That charming smile you had on made my heart skip a beat. Taking in your hand in mine I introduced myself as well feeling butterflies in my stomach.

“Sohee-ah you can’t trust this guy. I heard he’s a player.” One of my close friends told me after I finish dancing one song with him.

“Who told you that Ye Eun unni?” I ask not believing her. She pointed to where Jiyong had gone after our dance and as I saw him talking to another girl.

“But,” I started to say not finishing my sentence as I watched him look my way as we made eye contact he smiled at me. Ye Eun saw as well as she nudges me with her elbow.

“But what Sohee?”

“I like him for being so real. We talked while we were dancing and he told me all these personal goals and things he wants to do in life.” I took my gaze off of Jiyong took look at her.

“I don’t know Sohee, I still think he’s a player like all the other guys.”

“Maybe or maybe you’re wrong.”I said as I found Jiyong gaze on me again.

Snapping out of that flashback I found myself clenching my fists and jaw together tightly. I was mad, mad at myself for not listening to Ye Eun about how wrong you were for me. From the moment we first met I brushed aside your indifference and fell for you because it felt right. Now I see how wrong of a choice I made.

Marching towards the fridge I snatched the photo stuck on the fridge and ran to me room to collect the rest of the photos I had of you and that I stuffed in a box. Storming back out to my living room I grabbed my set of keys and closed the door behind me with the box full of memories. Walking up my apartment building stairs leading to the rooftop I could feel my anger and sadness mixing together. Pushing open the door to the rooftop I opened the box to grab a bunch of photos in my hand to throw in the air letting it fly. I want it gone and floating else where. For our moments together to be erased as if we never happened. I continue to do so until all the photos were gone inside the box and out flying in the air. Catching glimpses of photos flying and landing down on the rooftop or off into another part of the world I could feel my tears sliding down my face once again. One photo fell on my foot, picking it up I flipped it over to see it was a picture of me sleeping on your lap from a picnic out in the park we had. It was also the first time when you said you loved me.

I believed it when you said you loved me Kwon Jiyong. I wanted to believe that you were different from other guys like Ye Eun had said. Like a fool I fell for you and gave you my heart. You would kiss me on the lips and kiss another woman in the next minute. I was so good to you why did you have to do this to me? Ripping the photo into tiny pieces I threw it in the air and clasps on my knees as my heartache and pain took over my body. My body shook uncontrollably as I continue to cry.

Did it have to be me? Why did you have to put me in this misery? Am I the only one hurting here? Because of you I’m locked in a deep sadness everyday constantly thinking about where we went wrong in this relationship. But now I see it wasn’t me that ruined things, I was good to you in everyway. It was you. You sweetly melted me into your heart. You lightly deceived me and coldly left me for another woman.

Why? Why do good girls like bad boys? Why do bad boys like bad girls? You loved me but your kiss was a lie. You kissed me but your love was a lie. Why do you have to put me in this much sadness Jiyong?

As another photo on the ground blew towards me I picked it up as well and turned it over. This time it was a photo of me giving you a kiss on the cheek as we celebrated your birthday. I was good to you and I just can’t seem to cut you out of my life no matter how hard I try. But maybe I was too good for you instead. I gave a faint laugh as I shook my head with pity as I whisper to my self, “It’s no use being good”.

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I hoped you guys enjoys this Oneshot! ^^

-RassyJam