In the morning, Youngjae’s face carries a deep purple lining. The remnants of dried tears remain waiting below the eyes that yesterday were smiling and full of forced happiness. This has become a monthly routine for Youngjae. Slowly, he raises his aching body from the cold tile of the kitchen floor and grabs a bucket and rag to begin cleaning the blood stains that stand out against the stark white background of the rest of the room. His body is weakening and his joints crack when he bends over to begin his process. Empty beer bottles litter the apartment, some have broken bottoms with shards of glass encircling them. Sighing, Youngjae picks these up as well and continues on into the bathroom so that he can assess the damage that his body has again taken at the hands of his “lover”.

His eyes are downcast and as he raises them up to meet the identical pair reflecting them back in the mirror, he grimaces. He can’t stop the sobs from again finding their way into the back of his throat as he struggles to recognize the features that he has grown accustomed to seeing when he looks at himself. His eyes that have always been so clear and child-like are now squinted and swelled shut beneath the pressure of the misery that surrounds the things that he has seen. His cheeks are aligned with bruises and his lips are cracking and crimson with the stain of blood.

It hurts him to cry. As the tears begin to roll down his cheeks, behind his eyes a throbbing ache begins that he knows will stay with him for the remainder of the day and night. He undresses. The bruises continue down onto his arms and a red impression of finger grips still remain wrapped around his thinning wrist. Mumbling to himself as he steps underneath the burning water, Youngjae says that this will be the last time. However, in the back of his mind, he too, understands that it will not be. Tonight he will come home with flowers and his head hung in apology. He will whisper sweet nothings to Youngjae and he will promise it will never happen again. It’s been a year and a half now and Youngjae just can’t help himself. More than anything, he doesn’t feel as though he deserves anything better. This is the reality he faces and he accepts it for what it has become.

As he showers, the blood and memories from the night before wash down the drain and a new day has begun. As Youngjae exits the shower, the floor is stained a dull red, but that too will eventually fade away with time. Walking into the bedroom, the smell of stale alcohol and the musk of violence enters Youngjae nostrils, so he opens the window. Outside, the air holds the smell of spring, with cherry blossoms and blooming trees releasing themselves from their winter slumber. Youngjae hears the listless screeches of children playing at the park across the street with the tide of their future left completely up for the taking. They have their entire lives ahead of them, while all Youngjae has remaining is the nostalgia of happier yesterdays.

Looking away, he reaches for his phone that is waiting for him on the bedside table. Pressing the center key, the device displays in a florescent glow that he has seven missed calls. Without even needing to check, he knows who they are all from. Continuing to his voicemails he begins to listen to the first of three that were left along with numerous text messages. The voice on the other end is enshrouded in worry and Youngjae can’t help but feel the guilt rising in his chest at the thought of making his best friend so concerned over his well-being. Youngjae’s shoulders slump, as he reads the thirteen unread text messages waiting for him.

Are you okay?

Youngjae, seriously answer me.

Youngjae…please. I’m begging you.

Youngjae can’t bear to continue reading them, they’re simply too hard to bear. Without anyone else to turn to he finally responds. Daehyun, it happened again. I’m sorry.

Within seconds his phone vibrates with the response.

That bastard. I’m coming over. Don’t try to stop me.

In defeat, Youngjae waits on the couch for Daehyun to arrive. It only takes about fifteen minutes and Youngjae is hearing a pounding on the door. When he answers, he finds on the other end the sight of Daehyun, his Daehyun, with dark circles underneath his eyes and tears threatening to fall down his hollowing cheeks. Concern is written all over his face and when he sees Youngjae he can’t stop the tears from releasing themselves. Daehyun embraces Youngjae and holds him in his arms with delicate care, knowing not to squeeze too hard as it would further injure Youngjae’s already fragile body. Daehyun runs his fingers through Youngjae’s hair as he whispers apologies into his ear. Hearing these, Youngjae’s body collapses and Daehyun has to hold up the broken form and carry him to the couch.

Fingers entwined and hearts breaking, they sit on the couch to wait out the rest of Youngjae’s emotional breakdown. As his sobs again turn into only muffled sniffles and whines, Daehyun takes a better look at the condition of his closest friend. Youngjae’s body and life are literally crumbling right before his eyes and he can’t seem to do anything to reverse the process. Daehyun grits his teeth and clenches his fists. “I’m gonna kill that bastard.”

Youngjae only averts his eyes and plays with the hem of his shirt. “I’m really going to leave this time, I swear.” In his mind, even Daehyun knows this promise will probably never materialize. He’s heard this same thing over and over again and Youngjae just can’t do it. He just can’t cut himself off from the man who’s only ever brought him harm and distress. What Youngjae will never understand is that Daehyun has been in love with him from the beginning.

He knows that if Youngjae could ever consider leaving and coming to him, he would be the most attentive and perfect man Youngjae could ever dream of encountering. Never again would Youngjae’s face be adorned with bruises and never again would Youngjae spend his nights alone sobbing and shivering beneath the chill of hopelessness. If only Youngjae could understand that he deserves more. He deserves the world. And Daehyun would forever be willing to open his arms to him, the only person he’s ever loved unconditionally and the only person that he will ever truly love period. Today is the day. That is what Daehyun has decided. Today is the day everything changes.

They had been sitting together on the couch for what seemed like hours, with Youngjae’s head lying asleep on Daehyun’s shoulder and Daehyun hands still running through Youngjae’s drying hair. Youngjae suddenly begins to whimper in his sleep. These whimpers eventually morph into screams and Daehyun tries his best to keep his composure and stop himself from crying. He nudges Youngjae awake and soon the youngers eyes calm down at the sight of Daehyun looking back at him. Seconds pass and Youngjae’s body         un-tenses and he releases a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. With this Daehyun can’t control himself any longer and feels his lips colliding with Youngjae’s chapped ones.

Youngjae tastes of metallic blood and sorrow, but to Daehyun’s surprise, after the initial shock, Youngjae wraps his limp arms around his waist and deepens the kiss. A smile plays across both of their lips as they part. Youngjae is the first to break the silence.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that.” Daehyun is left speechless. But now, he understands. He could have brought Youngjae out from the darkness emanating from his broken spirit had he only taken up the hint that what he had wanted for so long was a shared dream. He was stupid. He could have prevented all of Youngjae’s pain and misery but he was too much of a coward to act on his feelings toward the other. Forgetting this for the time being, Daehyun focuses on the real issue at hand.

“You’re leaving here tonight. Do you understand me? Never again is that prick going to hurt you. If he ever so much as lays a finger on you again, I’m going to kill him.” Youngjae simply nods his head and whispers a soft “Okay.” They look into each others eyes and Daehyun notices how distressed Youngjae looks.

“I have to deal with him myself. You can’t be here when he gets home or it will only be worse for me. I’m going to gather my things ahead of time and as soon as he gets home, I’ll tell him and run out the door. You can wait for me down the hall. Is that alright?”

Daehyun doesn’t like the thought of leaving Youngjae alone with him, but he knows that this is what Youngjae needs to do. Daehyun nods his head and looks up at the clock on the wall. The time reads 4:37PM. It’s amazing how the time has passed. The clouds in the sky are quietly drifting away and the sun will soon be sinking to create a space in the sky for the moon. “He’ll be home around 5. I need to start packing.”

Together they walk into the bedroom and Youngjae begins to scavenge his way through the multiple dressers and closets packing only the essentials. The clock in the living rooms begins to chime, ringing in a new hour of evening. Youngjae looks up and meets Daehyun eyes. Fear is etched within the inner workings of his consciousness and Daehyun can tell as Youngjae’s breathing quickens and he begins to loose focus as the chiming of the clock continues to ring inside his ears. “Okay Daehyun. This is it. You have to go now okay. I’ll see you in a couple minutes and this nightmare will all be over.”

At the door, Daehyun embraces Youngjae and is hesitant to let go. “I love you.”

Youngjae smiles, “I love you too, Daehyun. I always have.”

Slowly, Daehyun walks out the door and watches Youngjae’s smiling face begin to disappear behind the door frame. “Remember, just ten more minutes.” And with that, Daehyun begins to trek down the lightless hallway. On his way, he sees him walking the other way towards the apartment, towards Youngjae with a bouquet of red roses in his hands. Their gazes meet for a quick second, but then both are turned away. Listening, Daehyun hears the sound of key meeting lock and the creaking of the door resounds through the hallway. The door closes and all is silent. Daehyun tries to calm his nerves and reminds himself, that this will all be over soon.

Tonight, he and Youngjae will sleep together in his bed with entangled legs and entwined fingers. They’ll become the idealistic couple and Daehyun will cater to Youngjae’s every whim and desire. He will live for Youngjae and life will be perfect. These years of misery will be put behind them as only a vague reminder of a darkened past.

Suddenly, Daehyun is brought out of his thoughts at the sound of a gunshot at rings in his ears and stops his heart. He hears the door open again as the man begins running down the hallway and into the stairwell. It all happened too quickly and Daehyun couldn’t stop him. His footsteps begin to echo as Daehyun begins to approach the opened door. His heart races as he peeks behind it and sees the bouquet dropped on the floor. The sight he finds behind these crush his every dream and hope. Youngjae lies on the kitchen floor, drowning in a sea of his own blood. No longer is the light of a soul reaching his eyes. His chest no longer rises or falls, it stands completely still, a bullet wound disrupting the placidness of Youngjae's white shirt. Daehyun collapses.

For them, there will be no tomorrow, no happy ending, nothing.