Love.

It's like an arrow shot at you, neutralizing all your nerves until even common sense doesn't make sense anymore.
You see the person you love everywhere and even with his flaws you compare everyone to him.
If they laugh the same, eat alike, talk as much, look alike, drift away to their own world as well.
The arrow can't be pulled out, the wound heals around it but it still hurts.
Sometimes the pain just becomes unbearable.

Yongguk never thought he would fall in love with a guy, and he never thought that guy would fall in love with him as well.
And they both became love struck.

But the wound caused by the arrow,at some point, started to hurt even more.

Their perfect picture love crumbled to pieces and after 4 years the relationship finally did a u-turn and went down the drain.

Daehyun walked in to the apartment only to find Yongguk with another guy.
Much prettier then him, more gentle...
He waited calmly for the guy to leave and when he was finally out he took the vase beside him and threw it on the wall.

He went berserk.

Yongguk just pursed his lips and waited for his boyfriend to calm down.

"I gave everything!" He threw a second vase, smaller.
"I never did anything you didn't like!" He threw the small wooden stool that vase stood on.
"I loved you until it hurt!" He yanked the drawers in the dresser out causing the clothes in it to pile up in a huge mess.
Still holding on to the drawers he stood there, breathing heavily, for some reason he felt so exhausted.
"I loved you..." His voice broke and he bit his lip as tears fell down.

"Enough to suffocate me" Yongguk finally said and Daehyun squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blacken everything out.
"Enough..." He mumbled and Yongguk looked up.
"I'm not sorry" he said a bit too coldly.
"Enough..." He slightly raised his voice.
"I was nothing in this relationship..." He continued, ignoring the other.
"Enough." Daehyun said loud now, keeping himself unfazed.
"We both knew it wasn't working and it grew col-" he was cut off as Daehyun helplessly screamed his lungs out, "Enough!"

He looked at the younger as he turned around with a pained smile.
Tears.. His heart beat fastened, he hated seeing the other cry, it was a sign that he did something wrong.

"Enough already..." The other said tiredly and wiped the tears away.
"Dae-"

"Who was that?" He suddenly asked.
Yongguk gulped and looked at him wearily, Daehyung gave him a curt nod and Youngguk cleared his throat, "Himchan" he said hesitantly.
"For how long?" His eyes were full of pain.

He was hurt and the older hated it.

"More then half a year" he said and lowered his eyes, too ashamed to meet the eyes of the loyal one amongst them.
Daehyun inhaled a shaky breath and nodded.
"I want you gone when I come back" he said and walked out the room.
Yongguk could hear the momentarily sound of keys clanking and then the door slam loudly.

He frowned.
Was this the end? He thought he would be happy after he'll get out of this numbing relationship but how come he feels like crying?
How come he feels like there isn't enough air around him?
How come it feels like he just lost the missing piece he never knew he already had?

But the relationship was boring, it was plain, too plain.
'I love you' s were barely said and heard anymore.
They would go to work then go home, work there as well then go to sleep.
It started to hurt to lay in the same bed with the other with only one thought in mind, does he still love me?

Then his eyes caught glimpse of another employee, in contrast to Daehyuns Busan manliness, Himchan was more feminine in a way that suited him.
Then one night Yongguk worked over time and Himchan stayed with him as well.
One thing led to another and he found himself half a year later, dating the coworker.
He convinced himself he was in love but he still held deep feelings towards Daehyun.

He got up and took a better look at the room, it was a mess, much like his relationship.
He wore his pants and a white wife beater then ran out the house.
Luckily the other wasn't too far and he caught up to him fast.

"Daehyun" he said breathlessly, the other turned around, surprised as tears continued to stream down his perfect face.
"I love you" he said and straightened up to meet the others eyes.
"I love you so much it constantly hurts" he said then heard his boyfriend scoff.
"I would do anything for you! Anything to make it up to you! So please don't leave!" He begged him and Daehyun pursed his lips then wiped his tears away.
"No." He said harshly, "you had the chance, we could've mended this relationship but you decide it wasn't worth your time...that I wasn't important enough to keep" he said bitterly and Yongguk looked at him helplessly.
"I love you" the older said again as if those words could mend everything.
"Me too..." Daehyun said and smiled painfully, "but I guess it just wasn't enough" he turned around and walked away.

Love...

It hurts.

When you lose the one and only because of one mistake, it hurts.
The pain never eases or lets up.
You stay dwelled in it for the rest of your life and hope that somehow he will return.

Yongguk left after that, never to see Daehyun again.

It was only a year an a half later that he got a call from Youngjae, sobbing into the phone like a child, that he knew he lost all chances of ever mending this relationship.

"He couldn't handle being without you" he explained when he met Yongguk, "he went crazy...he quit his job, locked himself in, I swear if I didn't have the spare key it would've happened sooner rather then later..."

Youngjae took out a wrinkled sticky note out of his pocket.

"He refused to eat...he couldn't sleep, he cried all the time...he started drinking" He fiddled with it a little before unfolding it and staring at the words written in it with a painful smile.

"When the police called and told me to come to the station I was so terrified, I was scared he went all out and found you and killed you..." He sniffed a little as he tried to find the right words.

"I couldn't be there one day because I had some problems at work and he decides to shot himself...that moron" his voice broke at the last words and he handed Yongguk the piece of paper.

"I blame you..." He said and got up, leaving the other alone.

Yongguk, with trembling fingers, unfolded the piece of paper and broke into tears as he read the words.
He ran his fingers over the familiar writing and let out a strained sob, feeling every bone in him break.
"I love you too" he cried out and buried his face in his hands.
The words on that piece of papers hurt him like hell but he etched them into his mind, into his heart.
Deciding to take them everywhere he goes.

I love him too much...

i warned you guys...didn't i?! well...? hope you enjoyed(?) it was inspired by Ed Sheerans Give Me Love( both the video and the song! ) go check it out it's really good!!