"I really like you, Xiumin hyung. You're really funny, sweet, kind, and I just love being around you. I would love it if you were my boyfriend." The words slipped past Luhan's lips to the shorter male in front of him. Xiumin blinked as he stared at the other. He wasn't entirely sure of what to say or do. He did like Luhan, but he wasn't expecting him to ask him out. "I... I really.. I like you too, Luhan." He settled for just confessing back.

A bright smile found it's way to Luhan's lips as he heard the words. He engulfed the other in a hug. Another figure that was behind the hall that the two were in walked away. His face fell as he walked into his room. He looked at himself in the mirror. His hair fell down against his face as he felt tears appear. He was Oh Sehun, and he was heartbroken.

Sehun remembered that day well, like it was yesterday. How could he not? It was the day everything started. The day everything changed. It was the day Oh Sehun's life was destroyed.

---

Sehun stared at the ceiling as the person next to him used the computer. "Are you sure you don't want me to go get Kris' computer? He said you can use it you know." Tao told the boy. Sehun shook his head. The last time he was online, he saw too many pictures of Luhan and Xiumin. It really ed his day up afterwards. He rolled to face away from the other and closed his eyes.

Images of Luhan and Xiumin laughing and smiling together flashed over his mind. He whimpered. He wanted to have his old Luhan back. He wanted the older to be by his side again. Ever since the two started dating, Luhan had been ignoring him like he didn't even exist. Sure, he'd talk to him occasionly, but not really. It pained Sehun. It really pained him when Tao showed him posts from fans saying how they noticed Luha ignoring him.

It really made him hate his life. Why was he even alive? Did he even have a reason? Ever since Luhan started ignoring him, he was hyung hopping. He never knew who to really hang around anymore, since everyone had there own best friends. Sehun's heart still ached for Luhan, but he knew he would never get his wish. He shook away the thoughts in his head and tried his best to sleep.

---

The maknae's heart speed quickened as he felt the sea of eyes face toward him and everyone else. The fans screamed and chanted to them. It made Sehun smile. He loved all of the fans, he really did. His eyes scoped the sea of the excited people. His eyes landed on a poster towards the front. It read 'XiuHan <3'. His smile was wiped away from his lips.

"No. Not a fansign. No. Why..." He bit his lip as he looked anywhere but the sign. He hated it. He hated the sign. He saw some Taohun signs which made him smile. He was close with Tao he would admit, but he didn't like him like that. He searched and searched. There wasn't a single Hunhan sign. He felt sick. There use to be so many hunhan signs. Now there wasn't even one. He wanted to go back to the dorms and cry in his room. He hated everything. He really did.

---

Sehun rang the doorbell as he panted softly while the rain soaked his clothes. His head was pounding and his body shook slightly. He was in a lot of pain. When the door opened, he didn't waste anytime practically falling onto the person who opened the door. It was Xiumin. "Sehunnie? Are you ok?" The said one ignored him and straightened himself back up. He slipped his shoes off and headed straight towards the various rooms.

Xiumin watched him leave. He had frown on his lips. He hated it. He hated how he could tell how much pain Sehun was in. He hated how everyone could except the only one that it involved, Luhan. He was always conflicted on whether or not he should tell Luhan, but he always ended up not doing so. He sighed as his eyes darted to the clock on the wall. Luhan and Chen would be back from Miracles in December practice in an hour or so.

Sehun stumbled to a certain room and knocked. A soft reply was enough for him to barge in. He closed the door behind him. Lay looked up from his iPad and to the other. Sehun faltered towards the bed and fell on to it. Lay watched him pull his legs up and face the bed. He watched him stay in the position until the boy let out an exhausted sigh. 

Lay pulled him to sit up and looked a him. He saw tears falling slowly down his cheeks and his eyes puffy from probably crying for a long time. The older caressed his head and pulled him into a hug. He sighed with him. "What's wrong, Sehun?" The said one's lip trembled as his walls broke and he began to pour everything out to the older.

"I can trust you, right?"

"Of course, Sehun."

"I-I need you to help me stay alive."

Lay rose an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I was... I want to kill myself. I don't know how much longer I can hold on to this worthless life i'm living. Please... Help me..."

Lay pulled him into a tight hug as he gulped. He didn't know what to say. How was he suppose to help him? There was nothing he could possibly do. There really wasn't. 

"Please, hyung... I don't know what to do anymore... Tao doesn't know what to do, and I don't trust anyone else besides you."

Lay bit his lip.

What was he going to do? He sat there holding the fragile body in his arms. An idea crossed his mind. It was the worst idea possible. He knew that, but there was literally nothing else he could do. He pulled away from the other and reached into his nightstand. He grabbed a bag that was inside of it. He placed it on his lap. "Sehun, I'm going to help you, ok? But you have to promise me something."

Sehun looked up at him as he sniffed. His eyes begged for some sort of relief. Lay almost felt guilty for this. Almost. "Promise me you won't tell anyone about this." The smaller nodded, eager to know what Lay had in store. The shorter opened the bag and pulled out a syringe and a jar of liquid.

Sehun his dry lips as he looked up at the older. "So, the rumors were true?"

Lay closed his eyes as he sighed. He hated the fact that people assumed he took drugs due to his facial expressions. Sure, they were right, but it still pissed him off from time to time. He ignored the comment and filled the syringe up slightly, enough for the boy's first time. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay? I just... I don't have any other way to make you want to stay alive." He said as he tapped the air bubbles out of the liquid.

He grabbed the medical tape from the bag and tied the skinny arm tightly just above the elbow. He grabbed his arm and held it in the correct position. "But how do you know it will keep me alive?"

Lay put the needle to the pale skin where a vein showed. "Trust me. It will." He pushed it in and pushed down the top slowly. He pulled it away and cleaned the tip.

Sehun's eyes widened as his pupils dilated. His breathing quickened as he let his head drop to the bed. He gasped for air as his eyes rolled back slightly. Lay his lips. He was craving that feeling as well. He ran to the door and locked it, quickly jumping back on to the bed and gave himself the shot. He dropped the tool as he too felt the rush hit him.

---

Sehun waved to the fangirl as she waved back and moved to the next member in the line. The next girl gave him her album and smiled at him. He smiled back as he began to sign the CD. She began to speak. "Sehun oppa, is Luhan treating you well? I see he's with Xiumin all of the time."

The male's heart shattered at the words. He forced a smile. "Of course he is. He's still Luhan afterall." She nodded as she took the now signed CD.

She gave him a fighting expression. "Hunhan fighting~" He smiled at her. At the same time his heart was falling to pieces. "If only she knew."

---

"I'm not going to do it with you today, because last time, apparently Chen had tried to get in the room, but the door was locked." Lay told the younger as he filled the syringe up. Sehun nodded without a word. His body ached for the rush of the drug through his veins. He was addicted and it was all Lay's fault. Lay had his regrets, but they weren't eating him alive. He just wanted Sehun to stay alive. He wanted the maknae to continue to live.

He tapped the glass of the tool and tied the boy's arm with the tape and looked for a vein. He positioned the needle. He looked up to the taller. "Are you ready?" He asked. Sehun nodded as he closed his eyes. He was more then ready. He wanted to feel great. This was the only way.

---

Sehun laughed as Kai threw his phone across the room. He was glad he showed the older that new app that he found. "That game is the ing worst! I can't even get past ing 4!" Sehun continued to laugh as he watched the other run to get the iPad once again. They were playing Flappy Bird together. Sehun wanted to show his friend the game since he knew he would get this kind of reaction from him. He was laughing, but he still felt hollow inside.

He still wished and wanted, but nothing ever happened in return to him. He still hated life even if it had the moments like these where he'd laugh with real joy. That joy wasn't strong enough to overcome his permanently​ damaged heart. His heart was damaged by someone he wasn't even dating. He just had a small obsession with Luhan when they talked still. He liked Luhan alot. He just should have said something earlier, but now he was too late.

---

Sehun waited for his hyung to fill the syringe. He didn't know how many times he had done this. He and Lay had lost count of the amount of times they surrendered to the liquids in the bottle. He still questioned how Lay was even able to continue to get so much of the drug. He never asked though. His arm was tied tightly with the medical tape. He sighed deeply. He knew this routine by heart already.

---

Sehun groaned as he felt a heavy sense take over him. He was laying in his bed, with tears staining his pillow. He couldn't stop crying, and he couldn't explain why. He curled himself into a ball as he sobbed into his knees. He really wanted to die. He really did. Sometimes he would try and force himself to go kill himself, but he was scared. He was scared, because what if Luhan would finally realize he loved Sehun and not Xiumin? What if that happened? 

If he was about to die and Luhan called him. What would he do? He'd stop and run back to the dorm. He always wished that would happen, but he knew there was very little chance that it would. He bit his lip as he felt his body shake even with the covers on him. He wanted to die. He just wished he was just brave enough.

---

"How long are we going to continue doing this?" Sehun asked as his arm was tied.

Lay sighed and shrugged. "As long as we can. As long as we possibly need to." Sehun nodded as the needle was pushed inside him. Lay slowly injected the liquid and pulled away once it was all inside the boy. He sighed as he cleaned the tip. He wasn't going to do it to himself