ღ 8.3.1 ღ: Between Love and Hate
Special Chapter[s]
--- Yoseob's POV ---
Two months have passed since the day I confessed to Hyunae.
She has debuted with her first single, Miss Me More. Our Japanese album, So BEAST, has also released to public, receiving great rankings all around music charts.
Flash news, our compilation album, BEAST & Hyunae will be released next week, the same date when we will held the United Cube Concert.
Another flash news, none of BEAST member knows about my relationship with Hyunae. It's not that I don't want to tell them, but I'm waiting for the right moment... if the moment will ever come.
Hyunae doesn't change her attitude in front of me. She is still the cute girl with cute attitude and cute smile.
I'm saying 'cute' word too much, right?
Thanks to her, I can't stop thinking about her whenever she's around, probably because I can't show her how much I want to shower her with my love. I can't let scandalous issue hits her when she just debuted. What will President say to me if he find out about it?
These past two months were actually kind of frustrating me.
We couldn't go on a date because of our schedule. We couldn't talk about our relationship in front of public because it is way too risky. We couldn't meet other than for work meetings.
The last time I was alone with her is the day I met her after the recording of our duet song for the compilation album. It's no more than five minutes; I didn't even manage to hug her!
I miss her. I miss her more when she is standing right in front of me yet I can't hug her.
As if it's not enough, worse news just hits me.
"Hyunae will make a debut for acting?" Doojoon eyes are widened.
I put down my phone and stare at Gikwang.
We are sitting in a circle, in the middle of our room, talking randomly about our works when Gikwang stated that he will have shooting for a short drama with Hyunae.
"Yes, it is a compilation of four love stories. I will play the role of a senior at university while Hyunae will play the role of new student," Gikwang explains. "She is a girl who hates me but will end up falling for me."
Now that is really strange. Hyunae never told me about this.
I secretly text her a message, asking for her confirmation about this news.
She doesn't reply my text message. And that is the start line of my anxiety.
I try to call her that night but she doesn't pick my call. I wait for her reply the next morning but there is still no new message. I call her again but she still doesn't pick the call.
What's wrong with her?
I am thinking of visiting her tonight after my second day of practice with G.Na for our duet performance at United Cube Concert.
"Kamsahamnida," I bow to G.Na after we're done with our practice of What I'd Do Once I Have A Lover. Yes, we will sing that song on the concert.
G.Na smiles and leaves the practice room for her next schedule. I leave the practice room quickly, trying to contact Hyunae again but it's useless.
Where is this girl?
"Yoseob!" I hear Gikwang's voice calling me from behind.
He approaches me with a smile, "Where were you?"
"Practicing with G.Na-sshi," I answer impatiently; I need to find Hyunae. "Why?"
"I will do the shooting for the drama tonight with Hyunae," Gikwang says. "Do you want to come along so we can return to the apartment together?"
I gasp when I hear her name. I nod quickly, agreeing to whatever he is saying. I follow Gikwang to the van, leaving the Cube Entertainment building to the location for the drama shooting.
They will do the shoot at an university at Seoul. Gikwang told me that the scene will be taken at the basketball arena.
There she is, leaning to the tree with the drama script in her hand. I leave Gikwang, approaching her without hesitation. She is too focused with her script, making her doesn't notice my appearance.
"Yah," I take away the script from her hand so she looks up to me.
She gives me surprised look but then gives me her usual deadly glare with serious expression, "Give it back."
"Why didn't you reply my messages?" I ask, ignoring her deadly glare.
"Give it back," she decides to ignore my question as well. She tries to grab the script from me but I step backwards.
"Why didn't you pick my call?" I ask another question, hoping that she will answer it.
"Because I don't want to," she hisses. "Now give me back the script."
She tiptoes, trying to reach the script but I step backwards again.
"Fine," she sighs. "I don't need it then."
She turns around and approaches Gikwang, talking about the script and leaving me standing alone with puzzled thought.
What is wrong with her?!
I wait patiently, looking at her every single movement. She has her bright smile again now, laughing with Gikwang.
What is this feeling? Don't tell me I'm jealous.
I shake my head and try to focus at Hyunae again. She doesn't even look at me. Not even once. She keeps discussing about the script with Gikwang so I decide to wait under a tree when the staffs give them a sign that the recording will be started.
Gikwang takes a basketball and plays around with it. Hyunae steps in and gives a bottle of water for him when he is sitting next to the ring.
I take a look at the script, reading it slowly.
The first scene of the story features Gikwang is playing basketball alone when Hyunae approaches him, giving him a bottle of water. Gikwang plays a playboy here, having fun with girls around him.
I shock when I read the plot. The first scene is the reason why Hyunae will hate Gikwang for the rest of the story.
Gikwang steals her first kiss.
I look at them again; it's too late.
There. They're kissing.
Gikwang's lips are on hers.
Yes, it's a scene of a drama. Yes, it's an acting. Yes, it's a script.
But, tell me, how to stop this pain now?
I clench my fists; I'm still trying to control my emotion when the director tells them that the first scene is good enough but they will need to do second take for the basketball scene.
"The kiss scene is good," I can hear a staff mutters to his friend, right next to me. "It's her first drama, isn't it?"
"Yes," his friend responds. "Do you think they're really dating? It's difficult to have kissing scene in one take, you know, if you don't have the chemistry."
I can feel jealousy rises up within me. I want to take Hyunae away right now; I want her to tell me everything now. If only I don't understand her position, her job, I will do that. But I understand her position so I stop myself from doing the stupidity.
Yes, it's right, no one knows about my relationship with her.
Yes, it's right, no one knows about my relationship with her.
I wait patiently for almost an hour, trying my best not to rush to Hyunae and grab her hand, away from the shooting location.
The moment I hear the director's sign that the shooting is over, I step quickly to Hyunae. She is laughing along with Gikwang, talking about their scenes while Gikwang is blushing because of the kissing scene.
I grab her hand, not bothering to look at her. I drag her away from the basketball arena, trying to find another place to talk privately with her. I ignore her protests, struggling to be released from my grip.
I can feel that some staffs are looking at us but I don't care. I don't even respond to Gikwang when he asks about where I am going with Hyunae.
I keep walking until I find the pool area of the university; no one is around there.
"Stop acting so childish," she pulls her hand quickly. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm supposed to be the one who asked you," I say stubbornly. I know this conversation is going no where; she is way too stubborn to fight with me.
"What?" she sighs.
"What's wrong with you?" I snap, unable to control my emotion. "We haven't enjoyed our times together in these past two months and you're ignoring my calls. And just now I saw you kissed another guy and you just gave me 'what'?!"
She flinches a little, surprised because of my anger, but I don't stop there.
"Two months, Hyunae ah. I know we didn't go on a date like usual couple. I know I'm not the most romantic guy. I know we're busy. But I didn't expect to have you ignoring me and kissing another guy!"
"It's a script!" a tear rolls down on her cheek now, making my heart skips a beat. "Why aren't you being a professional?!"
"Hyunae ah," I lower my voice, feeling guilty now. "Mianhae yo. I didn't mean to shout at-"
"Hate me!" she cuts in. "Hate me for ignoring you. I don't care!"
I grab her hand quickly because she is going to run away; I know it.
"Listen to me, Hyunae," I try to hold her hand gently. "I just want to know why you're ignoring me."
She pushes me away with tears on her eyes, "Do all the sweet things with G.Na-sshi. I'm fine with it."
My heart sinks. Is she jealous with G.Na?
"Wait, wait," I catch her right hand which is keep trying to push me away. "What's up with G.Na-sshi?"
Hyunae takes a deep breath, trying to control her breath, "I was there two days ago, watching your practice with G.Na-sshi for the duet performance. The holding hands, your eyes on her..."
I can see her flushed pink cheeks now. She is blushing. She is jealous of G.Na.
Great, I find her cute at this moment. What are you thinking, Yoseob ah?!
"Now who is not acting as a professional?" I smirk. "That's for a duet performance."
"I couldn't even sit next to you," Hyunae murmurs. "I couldn't even hold your hands and she could. You didn't even look at me the way you looked at her yesterday. I-"
I don't wait for her to finish her words.
I lock her lips with mine.
Her struggling hands have stopped all of a sudden, letting my fingers intertwined with hers. She kisses me back slightly but then as if she just remembers that she is mad with me, she breaks the kiss.
"I hate you," she steps backwards, trying to cover her blushing cheeks.
"O-oi!" I try to stop her but she keeps stepping backwards and, before I could catch her, she trips over and falls into the pool.
I jump to the pool, drowning myself to find her in the water.
Right after I find her, I pull her closer to me, putting my right hand around her waist and cup her face with my left hand.
I kiss her in the water.
I can feel she is squeezing my shirt softly. We don't break the kiss until we rise up to the surface, catching our breath.
"Still hate me?" I ask her.
She nods, still having the pink colors on her cheeks.
I lean closer to her and kiss her lips, muttering, "That's for ignoring me."
I kiss her lips again, smiling between the kiss, "That's for being jealous. G.Na-sshi is only a partner for duet."
I kiss her again, this time muttering another sentence, "That's for making me drown together with you."
I kiss her once again, feeling she squeezes my drenched shirt a little bit tighter every time I shower her a kiss, "That's for making me jealous."
"Eh?" she reacts but I land another kiss on her lips.
"That's for hating me."
"But I-" she tries to protest but I pull her closer and kiss her passionately for around a minute nonstop.
"That's for making me miss you more," I can feel my face is burning now.
But it's true.
I miss her. I don't want to let her go. I don't care about the cold water now. I don't even care about what Gikwang will say if he find us kissing.
I just want to be with Hyunae.
"Haven't I said that I hate you?" Hyunae murmurs, clear enough for me to hear.
I step forward in the water, whispering to her ear before give her another kiss.
"There really is a thin line between love and hate."
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