Lovely
LovelyIt wasn't necessarily a good day, but it wasn't a bad one either.
Taeyeon exhaled, the sinking feeling in her chest amplifying by two fold. It was a heavy sigh.
What's wrong?
She looked up and flashed a smile. Her friends continued talking about something they had all found amusing a moment ago, the remnants of laughter still drifting in the air. She immersed herself in the happiness, curling upwards as she sent another teasing retort, earning unrestrained snorts and guffaws.
Her eyes swivelled around the rest of the people at the table. If they were happy - she lifted the cup of iced chocolate to - she was happy too.
"Taeyeon!" Sooyoung burst out.
She questioningly raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Sooyoung grabbed a tuft of hair from Sunny and lined it above her upper lips. "Nice moustach-AHhhaHAHhAHhah!"
"Choi Sooyoung MY HAIR!" The offended girl roughly patted Sooyoung on the abdomen, gleaming a groan and more peals of laughter.
Taeyeon took in the banter, the weight in her heart lifting a little.
Nothing, nothing was wrong.
----
Taeyeon laid on her bed, her body tired but her mind awake.
She hadn't been able to sleep for the past few days… No, weeks, maybe. It was an odd feeling that came and left; a gnawing empty feeling in her chest that bothered her troubled heart. She thought about the night's dinner and unconsciously smiled. She had a great night.
But there was something missing.
The answer danced around teasingly in her mind, flitting mockingly on the tip of her tongue. Was it that she was lonely? Or was she just tired? Shaking her head, she prayed the bad thoughts would go away. Pulling her blanket under her chin, she snuggled closer to the bolster by her side.
The rhythmic beats of her own heart echoed through her body as one question surfaced in her mind.
Was she really living though she was alive?
----
Taeyeon loosely slung her bag over her shoulder as she left the house. She couldn't wait to meet her friends again, to chat about nothing yet everything. It was a curious feeling, anticipation.
"Taeyeoniiiiie!" Yuri called out as she waved towards the lost girl.
Nodding, she took her seat, all the while smiling. "What's up?"
"Checkin' out that chick at twelve o'clock."
Taeyeon rolled her eyes teasingly and shook her head in disappointment. "What happened to YoonYul?"
"It died." Yuri sighed in mock grief but suddenly burst out in laughter. "Dude, did you even look at twelve o'clock?"
"A…" Taeyeon turned around and gasped. "CHICKEN SANDWICH?!"
Yuri doubled over in laughter, clapping like a hungry seal. "I- hHaHAHha- Can't- HaAAaaHaha- Believe you fell for that!"
"Shut up!" Taeyeon pouted and looked away.
At that moment, she made eye contact with a stranger. An attractive blonde stranger at that, and Taeyeon couldn't help but smile.
"I saw that, Kim ByunTaeyeon." Yuri accused, snaring Taeyeon's diverted attention.
Taeyeon glared back at Yuri, completely missing the stranger's reaction. "What did you see, Kwon Yuuuuwree?"
"Oh nothing." Yuri made a kissy face and giggled.
She rolled her eyes, then sighed in exasperation. "You're annoying, as usual."
"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you."
Sooyoung appeared then and she walked to them like a drunken zombie.
"Let me guess, you tried to eat Sunny's candy again?"
The taller girl threw her bag onto the vacant chair.
"No…" Then she smiled sheepishly. "Maybe one piece?"
They all laughed and continued in their cheerful morning banter. It was pretty uneventful after that, save for some spilt orange juice and flying pieces of bagel.
---
Taeyeon heard lots of things. Especially now, while sitting on the toilet bowl at the fourth level of school.
"Did you hear about the new girl?" Some random girl asked.
"You mean the one with the short hair and even shorter skirt?"
"No! Not that one!" She giggled. "The blonde."
"Oh you mean that ice block?"
"Since when was she called ice block?"
"Since that turned Lee Donghae down, that's when!"
That earned a gasp from the person in the stall next to Taeyeon's.
The two girls then swore collectively and shuffled out of the toilet.
Wow, a girl who could resist Lee Donghae's sweet words and charms? That was a rare one.
Taeyeon got out of the stall and washed her hands, scrutinising her own face. Her eye bags had become more pronounced and blemishes had starting appearing on her face. She pouted. She seriously needed to sleep more.
---
Why the worst teachers were always late for class, Taeyeon would never know. She rapped the of her pencil on the table, impatiently waiting for class to start. The incessant chatter around her was pretty annoying, especially since it was all about a certain girl referred to as an "ice block".
"Class!" The (bad) teacher shouted. "We have a…"
Taeyeon tuned out, engrossed in her book. The class didn't help either way, so she'd rather enrich herself with something than waste her time on learning how to stay awake. She flipped a few pages, skimming through the words nonchalantly. The (lazy) teacher simply sat there, clicking buttons every now and then to change the powerpoint slide that appeared each week. The classroom was abuzz with chatter, the words "ice", "" and "block" littering themselves all over the place.
"God, it's noisy." Turning to Sooyoung, she pouted, only to be ignored by the biscuit munching machine.
"Mmhmm." Crumbs littered the taller girl's skirt.
"Close your mouth while eating, Soo."
"Oh-" A few more crumbs fell out. "Kay." Her chomping went on autopilot again as Sooyoung continued fiddling with her phone.
"Yuri," Taeyeon turned to the other side. "Why is it so bloody noisy today?"
Yuri looked at Taeyeon as if she was the most ignorant pup in the world. "New girl, new gossip, same old same old."
"What?"
Yuri bobbed her head down in disbelief. "Earth to Taeyeon, where have you been for the past five minutes?"
"Explain, please."
"Two o'clock. Shockingly blonde and unbelievingly bold."
Ah. It registered then. So that was the 'ice block' that had rejected the ever so (loathsomely) popular Lee Donghae.
"Oh." Taeyeon batted her eyelids. "I'm tired. Shut some people up?"
"Is this the only reason why you keep me around?"
Taeyeon smiled. "Maybe."
Yuri stood up and took a deep breath. "Shut up I'm trying to sleep."
The other girls stopped in mid breath, their unhinged mouths snapping to an abrupt close. The boys stopped their card games in a gruff shuffle, dropping their heads onto tables or whipping out their (silent) mobile devices.
"Thanks." Yuri smiled (threateningly) and sat back down.
"Love you too, Yuwree." Taeyeon mumbled as she tried to nap the nap she knew wouldn't come.
Even if it were only for a little while, she hoped the ice block up front could block out the incessant chatter that even she didn't want to hear.
---
Taeyeon was awakened by the sudden kick on the back of her chair.
"Yah!" She snapped awake, her arm lashing out by reflex.
Yuri rubbed her now sore arm. "Is that what I get for waking you up at the end of class?"
Taeyeon paused, momentarily shocked. "Yeah, but you love me still, don't you?"
"I'll think about it if you cook dinner."
Taeyeon rubbed her eyes. "We'll see."
She got up on her feet and trailed groggily behind the tanned girl. She didn't want to go for her next class. It was terribly hot and she was terribly sleepy. The fact that the lecturer in her next class sounded worse than the dead mice in the science labs didn't help very much either.
"Hey." A single syllable pierced through the noise.
Yuri turned to the side, addressing an unfamiliar girl. "Yes?"
The stranger was emitting the most lethal aura Taeyeon had ever felt.
"Thank you."
But it suddenly dissipated.
"For what?" Yuri tilted her head towards the right, confused.
"The silence." The blonde her heel, the aura reemitting itself.
"Oh that was Taeyeon-" But the girl was already out of earshot.
Yuri made a discontented face. "Is it just me or does it feel like she wants to kill me?"
Taeyeon shrugged. "Feels pretty fatal to me."
"Ice block it is…" Yuri muttered.
That night, all Taeyeon thought of was a cold aura that was actually warm.
---
Sunny thought she was the unluckiest bunny on the face of the earth. Or in the universe, for that matter. She got matched up with that new girl for her math project. That glare ten billion volts at everyone girl. (Or ice block.) Even the alien bunnies with three eyes and ten mouths were more fortunate than her.
She nodded and gulped as impending doom walked towards her.
"H-h-hi." Sunny started, hesitatingly extending her hand.
The girl looked Sunny up and down, and ignored the outstretched hand. "I just want this done."
Her voice was piercing and her gaze was like impaling icicles.
"O-okay."
Sunny looked towards her friends, all happily paired up. She glared at Sooyoung - the candy stealer - but to no avail. The girl was so busy eating her damn biscuits she probably didn't even have enough time to breathe. She scanned through the group, hoping that by some miracle someone would want to switch with her.
Sunny looked back up at the obviously impatient girl. "Sorry could you give me a second?"
Without waiting for a response, she scampered to her friends. She needed a switch. She wanted to live! She was much too young to die… At last, after much begging and/or bribing and perhaps a little threatening, Sunny managed to find a switch.
Although it cost her two bags of chips and a whole week of housecleaning, she felt nothing but guilt as she watched Taeyeon walk towards what was originally her own deathbed.
Oh well, at least she didn't have to share video games anymore.
---
"Hi, I'm Taeyeon." She grinned as she regarded her new math partner.
"Let's just get this done." The blonde girl let out a small sigh that almost went unnoticed.
Taeyeon frowned. "Are you tired?"
The girl looked incredulously at Taeyeon, a weak attempt at glaring daggers falling flat.
"No."
"I didn't catch your name…?" Taeyeon smiled again.
"Jessica. Can we start now?"
Taeyeon filled in their names side by side.
"Yep."
---
Sooyoung nearly shrieked into the receiver. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN ICE BLOCK IS COMING OVER?"
"Exactly what you said. That's what I mean."
"Holy I need to escape."
Taeyeon could hear random shuffling over the phone and she laughed. "Escape from what?"
"Kim Taeyeon, you're either dumb… or dumb." Sooyoung paused, the sound of the door slamming was heard in the background. "Sunny! We gotta go! NOW!"
"Hey, it's not that bad."
"It's not that bad? IT'S NOT THAT BAD? It's TERRIBLE! Taeyeon!"
Taeyeon could almost hear Sooyoung's disapproving glare over the phone.
"Leave your will on my table okay?"
Before Taeyeon could respond, the line went flat and she was left wondering whether it'd really be that bad.
--
Taeyeon wondered if the dorm was neat enough. The cushions were lying scattered on the sofa and the chips were simply stowed away neatly (not really) in random cupboards. She crossed her fingers, as long as Jessica didn't open any cupboards… She was pretty much safe.
The doorbell rang.
Her fingers were mere inches from the door knob…
God it felt like some kind of horror movie. She turned the handle and smiled.
"Hi!" Sheesh, she felt nervous.
Jessica blinked twice. "Hi."
"Let's get started then."
"Are you sure you want to do this now?"
"W-w-what?"
"I mean, don't your roommates mind?"
"Oh, no, no they don't." Taeyeon mentally chided herself for thinking in "another" way, and hopefully her face wasn't flushed.
"Your face is red." Jessica raised an eyebrow and let herself in, her expression stoic as ever.
Well, so much for not blushing, Taeyeon.
"Why don't you go grab a seat first? I'll go grab you a drink."
"Sure."
Taeyeon walked backwards towards the kitchen, turning around just in time to ram her shoulder right into the wall. How much more embarrassing could she get? She just hoped Jessica had walked away already…. she sure as hell wasn't going to check.
After grabbing two glasses, Taeyeon half brisk walked half ran towards the dining table only to discover that Jessica wasn't there.
Oh my god no.
She hurriedly raced towards her own room, the door already ajar.
She looked at Jessica.
She looked at the green peas on her bed.
She looked at Jessica.
She looked…
Oh god what was she going to do.
"I- I- I-"
She then noticed her mushroom plushie hanging from her cupboard. Oh God.
"I'm sorry." She felt like throwing her hands up in frustration. (Or digging a hole and jumping in it.)
Jessica laughed then, the sound of wind chimes gracing Taeyeon's ears. It was as if all the ice had melted, a blazing fire sitting in it's place. The blonde girl was amused.
"I-" Taeyeon wanted to continue, but it felt like didn't want to work.
Jessica smiled. "I won't tell."
Taeyeon dumbly nodded and sat down, placing the two glasses on the table. The rest of the discussion went on without a hitch, and they finished even earlier than they had expected.
"So, um Jessica."
Jessica looked back coldly as she was en route towards the door.
"Hmm?"
"You won't tell right?" Taeyeon fiddled with the bottom of her tee nervously.
The blonde girl smiled, the icy exterior falling. "I won't."
Taeyeon extended her pinky while looking down. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
Taeyeon looked up then, only to realise that Jessica had the most lovely brown eyes she had ever seen. They reflected an icy defence, but beyond that, only if she looked beyond that… She saw the kindest eyes coupled with the most caring heart.
Jessica flinched then, and quickly stepped away.
But even as the door swung to a close, Taeyeon could only stand rooted, recounting those lovely eyes, over and over again…
---
Taeyeon strode down the hallway with her usual clique. It was Friday, (finally!) and she couldn't wait to laze her weekend away.
"Taeyeon-ssi!" A girl, perhaps a year younger approached her. "I made this for you." She held out a lunchbox with a pretty heart atop it.
Taeyeon smiled appreciatively, earning gushes from the onlookers and a deep blush from the younger girl.
"Thanks. I'll eat it well."
The girl scurried away, leaving Taeyeon holding the lunchbox with the little note attached.
"Player Taeyeon strikes again!" Yuri commented as she patted Taeyeon on the back.
Taeyeon sighed. "I'm not a player, Yuuuuri, unlike someone!"
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. See you after class."
Taeyeon glanced down at the lunchbox in her hand. She wondered what the girl would think of her if she actually knew that Taeyeon still slept with a enormous green pea and an interesting brown mushroom. She shook her head. No bad thoughts Taeyeon, no bad thoughts!
---
The bell rang.
But it was Chemistry, and everyone was late for chemistry. Taeyeon took a leisurely stroll towards the science block, making one (or maybe two) detours along the way.
"Who gives a f*** if you're pretty. Everyone hates your attitude." A girl's voice emanated from one of the classrooms.
"Nobody likes you."
"You're so stuck up. How dare you reject Donghae oppa like that!"
Taeyeon peeked into the classroom and frowned. It was Jessica, cornered by a whole group of girls. They pushed her by the shoulder, deliberately shoving her towards the tables and chairs. They called her names, uncalled for profanities spilling out.
"You're such a b!tch."
God, did that girl even realise who the real was here?
Taeyeon knocked on the door, letting herself in.
"Hi." She smiled.
"O-o-oh, Taeyeon unni!" The supposed leader of the group bowed down, as did the rest of the girls.
"What's happening here?" Taeyeon calmly walked towards the group, her fingernails digging into her palm.
Jessica's eyes were glazed over, the icy facade stronger than ever… But Taeyeon knew better.
"This b!tch doesn't know her place. Won't you teach her, Unni?"
Taeyeon stepped in between the group and Jessica, facing the blonde. She smiled softly, as if to tell the other girl not to worry.
"I think you're the one that needs to know your place." Taeyeon turned around, her jaw set in stone.
"U-u-unni?"
Taeyeon looked at the girl straight in the eyes. "You know… I have a reputation at school. Don't I?"
"You're being scary… Unni!"
"Aren't I always?" Taeyeon growled. "Now leave."
"W-w-we're sorry!" The entire group of girls bowed and ran out of the room.
Pathetic.
Taeyeon looked back at Jessica. "Are you okay?"
Jessica paused, then nodded.
"We both know you're not." Taeyeon raised a hand and cupped Jessica's cheek, wiping away the tear that slid freely down
her porcelain cheek.
"I'm not…?"
"You're not, and that's okay." Taeyeon pulled the younger girl into a tight hug, letting her cry it out.
It felt odd, holding someone in her arms. It made her heart swell and her arms tighten. It made her feel anger, sadness and love all at the same time.
As the sobs died down into whimpers, Taeyeon released her embrace.
"Hi, Jessica." Taeyeon smiled comfortingly, her hand outstretched.
Jessica sniffed. "Why would you risk your reputation for me?"
"You have the loveliest eyes."
"The loveliest eyes?"
"Ones that I can't turn away from."
Jessica sighed softly. "You don't know me, Taeyeon."
"But I'd like to."
"Taeyeon I-"
"Take your time." Taeyeon started, her voice slightly wavering.
"I… Don't ever get a cucumber plushie, okay?" Jessica looked down, blushing.
"O-okay."
"And Taeyeon…?"
Taeyeon looked up, questioningly. "Hmm?"
"You have the loveliest heart."
"…"
"One that I can't turn away from."
---
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