Sometimes it’s difficult to sort your feelings out when the person you’re crushing on is constantly all up in your face, although not that it’s a bad thing. But it was also difficult when your friends are always around you while your crush is there too and you have to try not to be so obvious about it. I didn’t want this feelings to ruin a great thing that I had going. My first year had been so miserable but now I had a great group of friends who somehow see my better side. Also, I hadn’t told anyone I was gay; I just wasn’t sure how they would react. After a few weeks into knowing each other, we basically had each other’s schedules down so hanging out became a sort of routine. It wasn’t like it was just Miyoung and I of course, there was also the rest of the girls; Yuri, Soonkyu, Sooyoung and Taeyeon. Yoona wasn’t really part of the group because she lived in a different dorm and she was always much busier so I didn’t see her as often, even though it was still pretty often.

Oh, right, I have yet to mention Taeyeon. Taeyeon was always a bit of an enigma to me; she was always much closer to Miyoung than the rest of us girls, but then again Miyoung was close to everyone. I really don’t know how that’s even possible. Anyway, Taeyeon was also in her first year of college and the same age as Yuri and Miyoung. I don’t know the details as to how Miyoung and Taeyeon met exactly but she was one of the first people Miyoung met at the dorm, kind of like Yuri and I, so they hit it off just like that. But unlike Yuri, Taeyeon was introverted. When Miyoung first introduced Taeyeon to the group, I really didn’t know what to think about her. We were both quiet and awkward so I didn’t really interact much with her.

But the more we hung out together, the more I found that I had in common with Taeyeon. In fact, Taeyeon and I were probably had more in common than I had with Miyoung, in terms of personality at least. We were both the quiet type; only opening up to people we knew well and trusted. Despite the rather uneventful start to our friendship, I later found Taeyeon to be an extremely good listener, great at giving advice, very insightful and actually has a pretty wicked sense of humor.  Come to think of it, I might have just figured out why Miyoung and Taeyeon got along so well. Taeyeon was a music major, voice to be exact, and Miyoung was really into music. In fact, Miyoung wrote her own music. They were both extremely talented and I was always a little jealous, not of their relationship, okay maybe a little of their relationship but in this case I was talking about their talent.

So the six of us became a sort of group in the dorm. Unfortunately, this meant that we usually monopolized communal areas in the dorm like the lounge, game room and kitchen/dining room, but we were nice so we never excluded anyone who wanted to join us. Sometimes we just sat and talked. Sometimes we had our very own movie nights. Sometimes we would take up the game room that had pool and foosball tables. Sometimes we brought our own games; Soonkyu and Sooyoung were game fanatics. Sometimes we had casino nights. Sometimes we had “dinner parties”. Sometimes we hooked up our own video game console and played video games. Sometimes we would just blast music and dance our hearts out. And sometimes, just sometimes, we went out.

The problem with the six of us being together though is that, as a group, we were extremely loud and noisy, and we were all insomniacs. This meant that we were always up in the middle of the night doing any one of the random activities mentioned. Most of the time we just minded our own business while we had our fun but sometimes, sometimes we actually got into trouble because we made too much noise or because some students would complain about us monopolizing the communal spaces. It was unfortunate.

After the second warning, we had no choice but to actually dial down our fun. Honestly, with Miyoung, Soonkyu and Sooyoung in the group, it was really difficult to keep the volume of the group down. So gradually, we had to either bring our hangouts out of the dorm or hangout in smaller groups to keep things at a manageable level. Soonkyu and Sooyoung were the most sociable ones and they were a little boy obsessed so they preferred to go out whenever possible. This meant that Miyoung, Yuri, Taeyeon and I were usually the ones who stayed in. But since I preferred staying in, it worked out for me.

Slowly, I began to open up to these girls. I could actually feel myself changing because they somehow manage to make me do things that I don’t do on my own. For example, dorm organized group outings. Honestly, I really disliked the idea of those; having to keep to a specific schedule and go around with a group of people I don’t know. But with the girls around, it was absolutely bearable. More than bearable, it was, dare I say it, absolutely enjoyable. And then there was also “recreational” exercising that Yuri and Miyoung loved so much. They both relatively enjoyed sports and exercise. I tried my best to resist but when Miyoung asked, I couldn’t say no. I’m so weak, I know, but at least it was good for me.

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, I decided to hold a dinner party for those who were close to me including Yoona. Needless to say, I was quite nervous about Yoona meeting Miyoung because she was the only one who knew I had a crush on Miyoung. Even though it was not like she was meeting my girlfriend or anything close to it, it was still a big deal to me for Yoona and Miyoung to get along. When I told Miyoung about the dinner, she offered to help. Did I mention that the dish she brought over that first night was amazing? Well it was just one more thing to add to the list of how amazing this girl was. The only problem with that was that I was an absolute control freak when it came to the kitchen. Surprisingly, Miyoung actually knew more about cooking than I thought. In fact, I felt a little embarrassed when I saw how she worked. I just seemed like she was quite comfortable in the kitchen.

“I’m so impressed…” I told her after watching her prep the ingredients needed for the meal.

“About…?” she asked in return.

“I didn’t realize you were such a pro at cooking,” I answered.

“My parents were always really busy so I taught myself how to cook. But my mom was also an amazing cook when she had the time, so I pick up from her too. Oh did you like that dish I made you by the way?” she explained.

“Oh, I see. And yes, ohmigosh, did I not tell you? I really liked it. Thanks,” I