Your life is nothing but a lie, your smile is fake, your cheerfulness is forced, you feel like being tortured. Everyday a piece of you is ripped, leaving a open wound behind, yet, all you do is smile, stretching over your arm once again in a silent plead to be hurt once more, after all, pain is all you feel. It is disguised as temporary happiness, but once there's a chance, it comes back at you, crashing onto your tired body like a truck. They can't see it, you hide it beneath your fake eyes, which shine like the brightest of the diamonds, a fake one that can be easily broken apart. You're exhausted, but still tries your best at coping with your own turmoil of feelings. It gets better, they say, but it doesn't. It's like watching a movie, where you know everything is a lie, however, you still clasp your hands together and pray for the protagonist to have a happy ending.

That's why movies were made, they're nothing but a escapade from reality. The world is unfair and unhappy, but you, you are unhappier. You grew accustomed to the fact that maybe people will never see the good side in you. You were always the ugly, stupid, childish and strange one, yet, there you are smiling as they call you names, giving horrible adjectives which didn't belong to your personality at all, but it didn't matter anymore. Everything changed, you aren't the same you used to be, that girl no longer exists.

It caused deep wounds, ended up hurting your pride and threw away your self esteem, but there's nothing you can do, the damage was already done, you're not the same. They stupidly ask you what happened to that happy child you used to be - not getting the hint that it was their fault - and they judge you, spitting questions on how you became so selfish and antisocial. A smile decorate your lips as you get bashed for everything you do, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad, there's always a mistake laying underneath your intentions. 

You barely have friends, you can count on your fingers the amout of people you're familiar with but still held no special bond. However, there was always that person that held a special place in your heart, even if you were that person's third option, you knew that somehow, someday, she would look at you and smile. That smile... It could light up your day, the way how her expression would turn childlike, her eyes becoming slightly arched in a matter of seconds. You always smiled back, noticing how your heart would do backflips within your chest, those familiar butterflies behaving wildly in your stomach. It wasn't enough, She acquired the habit of touching you, your hair, your arm, and finally hugging you once in a while, that's when you experencied a tiny amount of happiness, but still, you knew that there were others who were more important than you. She had been glued to her celphone, smiling everytime it beeped, signaling a new message. Your heart ached, yet, that stupid smile was still on your lips.

You wondered if acting career was the best to pursue, you could become an awesome actress, but that's when you reminded yourself that it would be of extreme luck if you even reached your late-twenties. It's funny how you claimed to be alright, that your sadness was just a mere phase and it was going to pass, you knew it, but maybe it wasn't true. Depression. They say it's like a black hole pulling you in, all of your energy, your life. You laughed. Depression wasn't your style. Your catholic roots reminded you that God is the answer to everything, and it made you pray harder, but there wasn't any answer. None.

You once prayed for a proof of happiness, and He brought her back. She was the source of your confusion, yet, she also made you smile like a lovesick teenager. It was a dead-end. She was your problem and solution, happiness and sadness. She was the answer. 10 years, that's the time you spent admiring her from afar, desiring to be more than just a friend, or how she called, a sister.

However, that was the least of your problems. Your mom's health, your family's financial problems, your bad grades, your brother's mistreatment. You found yourself cornered by life's hardships, but as always, all you did was smile and hide your broken self beneath a happy mask... After all, who wants to see a broken soul walking aimlessly on the street?

---------------------------------------------------

Funny fact, I just wrote this :v 

This one-shot is basically what i've been thinking for the past month..

I couldn't keep it to myself, and since i didn't know what do to with it, I decided to post it here ^^'

Anyway... There's 2 random prologues to come..

One is TaeNy, the other is YulSic/Taengsic..

And this one, I thought about developing it to an YulSic fic, but  >maybe<  i'm going to do it after I finish "She's back"

Anyway.. Is it good? ^^'''

Thanks for reading <3