---

It's a clear day, the bright summer sun warming everything up pleasantly. She sits there waiting, as usual. Any time now and he'd be rushing through the door, mumbling a plethora of apologies that he genuinely means, say promises of never being late again but ending doing so anyways. She didn't mind really, she never did.
 

"Hey, Mei Mae! I'm sorry I'm late!" Tao panted as he slipped into the vacant chair next to his only girl best friend.

"I'll treat you to make up for it."
 

Jamaica rolled her eyes. "Never mind. You're a hopeless case in so many things including punctuality. "
 

"I am not always late!" Tao pouted indignantly. "Only half the time!"
 

Jamaica threw him a judgemental look, "I don't know how that could be a better argument. But whatever, let's do this project now. We're still going to that show after."
 

"Show? What show?"
 

"You forgot, didn't you?" Jamaica tried hard not to let disappointment color her voice, she really did. 
 

But it seems like Tao heard it as clear as the day outside. To be fair, he really looked like that wounded puppy, sorry for forgetting that they were supposed to hangout at that park where some street performers are going to have a show.
 

"Mei Mae, I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise!"
 

"We were going to hang out because you ditched me that other day when you went to that amusement park to stalk Chen and then end up having an impromptu date with Janelle." Jamaica drawled stoicly. She tries not to sound accusing, becuase she knows that Tao is free to do whatever he wants. She has no hold on him, no matter how much she wish she had.
 

But it still hurts.
 

Tao looked like a puppy kicked and battered into a pulp, "I'm really sorry, Mei Mae. It's just that my schedule is a jumble nowadays and everything is just happening and..." he sighs. "And because I , I'm saying this now, we'll do anything you want."
 

Jamaica tries to cheer herself up, both for her and Tao's sake. "Can we go to that show then?"
 

"Uh... about that... well... I kind of have a thing with Chen-hyung..." Tao replied as an apology. 
 

And with that answer, Jamaica let herself smile; that fake quirk of lips she hates to do but does anyways for Tao. Always for him. 
 

"Some other time then." she says and went back to reading her notes before typing away on her computer, ignoring the beseeching look that Tao was giving her.
 

"I'm always disappointing you, aren't I? I'm sorry." Tao says.
 

"Stop that."
 

"But I really am." Tao all but whines, eyes widening as he give Jamaica that reproachful look.
 

With a sigh, Jamaica looked back at those huge brown eyes, those adorable bags under them that she couldn't help but to find cute even if everybody says they're hideous. She's disappointed alright, but this is Tao. She knows him best, and sometimes she hates that. She hates to know everything that makes him happy, hates to know everything that can anger him or make him sad. Because it means she cares too much.
 

And she hates how much she cares because she'll always be the best friend. No more, no less.
 

"It's fine, Zitao. I'll just need to remember from now on that I can't just demand for your presioud time because other people are of higher priority." she teases, or at least make it sound that she does.
 

"Hey! You know you that's not true! You can have me whenever, wherever." Tao puffed himself up.
 

"Uh-huh. Whatever, bug-face." Jamaica nodded her head with a sarcastic grin.
 

If only she can really have him. If only she's not just the best friend.
 

"Of course!" Tao answered confidently. "Hey! How about you go with me to the party? It's just with some guys at school, you know. The hyungs, and some schoolmates."
 

Jamaica thought about it for a second. She's friends with Tao's hyungs of course, the most of them being seniors at school. Some of them are even seniors from the dance troupe she's a member of. But she really want to go to that show.
 

"Nah, I'll be fine. Maybe I'll come over or something after."
 

"Are you sure?"
 

"Yeah. I know you'll only be there because Joy would be dragging Janelle there."
 

"I do not!"
 

"Yeah, right. You have the biggest crush on her. The only thing you haven't done is to create a shrine for her inside your room." Jamaica sneered. "Wait, I think you did."
 

"I did not! Stop making things up or I'll wushu your !" Tao warned.
 

And then he was shrieking because Jamaica threw a piece of plastic bug on him, cackling evilly.
 

"Wushu? Dude, you're afraid of bugs! All I have to do is hold it out to you and you'd be running all the way back to China!" Jamaica laughs.
 

"That is so not cool, Jamaica! So not cool!" Tao glared at the innocent plastic thing on the table as if it would start being animate and alive.
 

"You should see your face right now, Tao. It's priceless."
 

"I swear I'm going to beat you up one of these days."
 

"Uh-huh. And then you'd be making a fool of yourself all the time because I won't be there to try and make you look normal."
 

"I am normal, thank you very much!"
 

"Normal? Dude, you're 20 years old and had at least 15 years of martial arts training. Yet you cry at sad dramas, shrieks like a schoolgirl at the sight of bugs, and you drag people to shower with you! That is so far from being normal!"
 

"Yah!"
 

Jamaica rolled her eyes. "Don't yah me, Huang Zitao or I'll end you."
 

"You don't even know the basics of martial arts."
 

"I'll burn all your Gucci collection."
 

"You wouldn't." Tao narrowed his eyes at her.
 

"If you don't start doing your part of the project now, I will. I know where you stuff all of them."
 

Tao grudgingly reached for a thick book and started browsing, grumbling all the way.
 

Jamaica sighs. It's really is just another normal day. A day with her waiting, getting disappointed, and then acting as if everything is perfect. 
 

She looks at Tao, his concentrated face as he jot down notes, the way his eyebrows quirk as he tries to read those almost inscrutable lines.
 

If only he would look at the people around him with even just as half of the attention he is giving that book, he would see.
 

If only...
 

 

***
 

 

The show was great. But it could have been better if Tao was there. They could have laughed at the funny mistakes together, commented at how ridiculous the costumes were, and enjoyed the performances. 
 

But he wasn't, and there's nothing she can do about it.
 

It's already a little past 8 in the evening and she needs to go home before her mother nagged her head off. But Chen's place is on the way, and maybe she could drop by before going home? See how the party is?
 

See if Tao was still there?
 

"Oh my God, Jamaica Mae. Get over him! And quickly too! You're not supposed to---aish! Why am talking to myself like this?!" she groans.
 

Once she got to Chen's place though, she gaped at what she saw.
 

"Holy-- Huang Zitao, what are you doing?!" she groaned, face-palming.
 

Tao was dancing on top of a table, a bottle of some yellow liquid in hand. He was clearly out of it, singing 'Gee' in a horribly out of tune way with matching sloppy dance moves; a sight Jamaica had never seen before. Heck, she had never seen him this drunk before.
 

"Yah, Kim Jongdae! What have you done with him?!" she demanded as she walked over to where Chen was trying to coax Tao down form the table.
 

"I didn't do anything! Why are you all accusing me?!" Chen shrieks. "Tao, get down from the table, you doofus!"
 

"No! This table is mine! Go find your own!" Tao yells, taking a swig of whatever drink he was holding and then going back to dancing again. "Neomu bbanjjak bbanjak neoni buhsyo, no, no, no, no! Neumo kkamjjak kkamjjak nollan naneun, oh, oh, oh!"
 

"Everything is your fault one way or another, Chen." Jamaica accused, glaring at her drunken friend who was still howling on top of the table. "And you! Come down before I disassociate myself with you! Gosh! Of all the things you did to embarass yourself, this is the worst, I swear!" she yells at Tao.
 

Tao looked down at Jamaica, eyes glazed before they were lit with recognition, a loony grin blossoming on his lips. "Mei Mae! You came! Ah, my best friends really does what she says. Unlike me! No wonder nobody likes me!"
Jamaica wanted to tell him how wrong he was about nobody liking him but she held her tongue. "Shut up, Huang, and get down from there before I decide that the world doesn't need a certain person with the worst case of eyebags."
 

Tao pouts, bending his knees so he was closer to Jamaica, thier faces close enough for her to see that tinge of hurt and pain in them. "Yah, Mei Mae. You are always good to me even if I am always being a prick. I know it's asking too much but... can you be kinder with me tonight. It hurts."
 

Jamaica frowns. She turns to Jongdae, "Did you guys played a stupid prank on him again? Seriously, when will you grow up?"
 

"I told you it wasn't my fault! He left somewhere a few hours ago and when he came back he started drinking everything he could put his hands on! I tried to stop him but all he did was to shove me away and drink some more. I wanted to stop him but he can actually injure me using his pinky so..." Chen explained. "But honestly, get him home. It's so early into the party but he's already drunk out of his brain."
 

Jamaica turned back to Tao was sarting to dance once again while still bent at the knees, nearly toppling down from the table. "Yah, Huang, come on. I'm taking you home. Whatever you're feeling, Tylenol and sleep can fix it."
 

"Tylenol?" Tao scoffs, "Can it heal this?" he asked, pointing at his chest. "Can you put a band aid to stop my heart from bleeding? Is there any medicine that can fix a broken heart? Where can I buy it? Tell me. I don't care how much it cost, just... Cure me. Fix me. Make it better. It hurts."
 

Then tears started falling down from his eyes. And Jamaica could feel her heart tearing apart too. Tao, despite how fearsome he may look, had always been a softie. He's tears are a little shallow even if he acts tough all the time. And Jamaica hates it when those tears are on his cheeks.
 

"So... it's about her?" she asked silently.
 

Tao started sniffing like a kid, eyes trained at the edge of table where he refused to step down from, " I was going to confess, you know. Finally make my move. I knew she'd reject me at first, she had always hated my guts ever since high school. But when I went to talk to her... she..."
 

Jamaica could only clench her fist as she listened to him. It happened many times before, but the pain she feels everytime he cries because of another girl is always there. It had never really disappeared or faded, it just got stronger each time.
 

She wonders if it will always be like this. Would she always be the trustee best friend who he'd turn to whenever he's hurt? The one he clings to when he felt so alone? The one to comfort him when he's homesick? The one to always understand but never be understood?
 

"It's okay, Tao." she says, trying hard not grit her teeth through her words. 
 

"No. It's not okay." Tao cries. "I liked her. I like her still. But she... she likes someone else! What does Oh Sehun have that I don't anyways? Is it because he's good-looking? Because he's rich? Because he freaking dies his hair in a different color every week?!"
 

"I doubt you really want those questions answered." Chen muttered discreetly.
 

"Am I that ugly? Am I a bad person? Am I not rich enough? Is it because I'm dark? Because I've got freaking eye bags that won't go away even if I sleep half the day off? Is it because I look like a freaking gangster and that Oh Sehun looks like he came out of a magazine? Huh? Is that it?" Tao continued ranting. "Why couldn't she see me too?"
 

Jamaica could feel her temper rising, and really, she tries to stop herself. But she just couldn't. Not when Tao is deliberately driving his self esteem to the ground. It's just so wrong. And she just can't stand by and watch him ruin himself for some girl. 
 

She doesn't hate Janelle, she's a good person despite her flaws. What she hates is how Janelle could be the person Tao had always had his eyes on. Why even when he's hurt, he's still looking at her.
 

"Why are you so stupid?" Jamaica gritted out, eyes hooded as she looked at the ground and avoid looking at Tao's sorry face because she knows she'd crumble then. "Why are you so, so stupid all the time?"
 

Tao gave Jamaica a lost look, his heartreak put aside for the moment. He was confused as to why Jamaica sounded so angry. And even with the verbal abuse he always receive from her now and again, this somehow seemed different.
 

Chen, sensing the sudden shift of air, promptly excused himself away as silent as he could. The party was still in full swing and it's a wonder that the sight of Tao drunkenly dancing to Gee and now crying like a baby had not yet taken the attention of the party goers. But even so, Chen definitely doesn't want to be anywhere within a ten feet radius around Tao and Jamaica when hits the fan. And this is some really big .
 

"Her. It's always about her, isn't it?" Jamaica continued on. "Why? Why does it always about her? Why is it always her that you see? You got drunk, embarrassed yourself in front of so many people, because of her!"
 

"Mei Mae--"
 

"Don't call me that!" Jamaica spat. "I hate that name!"
 

Tao's eyes went wide with shock. He had invented the name when they started getting close to each other years ago, it seemed like a lifetime had already passed. Nobody calls her Mei Mae but him. The name is special. But now...
 

"Huang Zitao..." Jamaica says slowly, her voice just above a whisper, "You are not ugly, and definitely not a bad person. Your eyebags are your best features. You look cool whatever hair style you have and even if you become poorer than a street rat, please don't think that you're worth nothing. Because you do, okay? Even when you look like a mess first thing in the morning, even when you act like you're half your age most of the time, you're worth something. And somebody does appreciate you. If you would just look closer, you'd see that for that person, you're a treasure that means everything."
 

"You're only saying that because we're friends." Tao argued.
 

"Friends." Jamaica all but spat. There could be no other time when she had hated that word the most. Ignoring the tears that started pricking her eyes, she looked up ad forced herself to look at Tao in the eyes. "Why are you so

dumb, Tao? Why are you so blind? I hate you!"
 

"Mei---"
 

"I hate you for always looking at her. You are always looking forward, towards her,  that you never see the person who had been waiting at the sidelines. That pain you're feeling because you learned that she likes someone else? Imagine knowing that the person you treasure the most had always had their eyes on someone else. Imagine always being invisible to that person." Jamaica angrily wipes away the tear that had escaped to her cheeks, "I'm sorry if i can't make it better. I'm sorry if I can't cure you. I've been broken for so long that I don't even know where to start fixing my own heart, much less where to start fixing yours."
 

She turned her back to Tao who had gone silent, suddenly getting sober. "Huang Zitao... if only you had given your heart to me... maybe you'd never ask for someone to fix it. Because I would have never dare break it in the first place."
 

And then she left.
 

How's that for a ty confession?
 

 

***
 

 

Tao looked dazely into the distance. It had been a few hours since Jamaica left the party, said happening is still going on into the night. Whatever desire he had to drown himself in alcohol and the music though is all gone.

Even the two bottles of vodka that he had emptied into his system seemed to have lost it's effect too.All because of that little confession that might have been the vaguest, yet clearest at the same time, he had ever heard in his entire life, and not to brag or anything but he had recieved his fair number of confessions too, so that was saying something.

But of course it was saying something. It's Mei Mae, his best friend. He'd be dumb if he doesn't count it as special, even with all the awkwardness.

But then again, he had always been dumb. He hadn't even noticed the change in how Jamaica looked at him. They had always been close so that's saying something too about his lack of attention span.

"Hey, dummy. What are you staring at?" a familiar voice asked.

Tao felt his heartbeat quicken just a little bit. It's Janelle. And she's actually the one to approach him. What on earth is happening to the universe?

"Uh..."

"Look at you. You can't even make a proper sentence." Janelle scoffs. "But anyways, Chen and Joy wanted me to talk to you. They said that you wanted to say something... or something. What is it?"

Ah, typical Janelle. Always direct to the point as usual. But then again, Tao knows someone else who is the same.

"Uhm... they did?" 

Janelle narrows her eyes at Tao, "Yah. Whatever it is, spit it out. I'm needed somewhere else."

Tao could see a certain tall and lanky person lurking across the yard, giving them furtive looks. He felt that familiar rush of jealousy, so he steeled himself. It's now or never.
 

"I like you."
 

Now, it's out. Chen and the others should congratulate him for saying it, Tao thinks. And they better buy him Gucci too.
 

Janelle was silent though.
 

"Uh..." Tao cleared his throat. "I... kind of liked you for a long time. So..."
 

"But you're over it." Janelle finished. "You liked me. You said it yourself."
 

Tao frowns. "I still do."
 

Janelle let out a laugh, shaking her head. "Well, maybe you do, I don't know for sure. But I'm guessing that you're quickly getting over me. Because if you don't you would have ran away after confessing, or would have not confessed at all. You're a crybaby like that."
 

"Yah! I am not a cry--"
 

"See?" Janelle interrupted once again. "If you still like me that much then you wouldn't act this way. Mayybe it was just a little crush or something."
 

"I liked you since high school. Crushes don't last that long. And crushes are for girls!"
 

Janelle punched Tao on the shoulder, "Stop being a ist!"
 

"I am not!"
 

They went silent for a moment, looking at the group of people dancing on one side of the yard.
 

"Thank you." Janelle suddenly said.
 

"Huh?"
 

"Thanks. For liking me." she smiles. "My friends tell me that I tend to judge people without knowing them at first, like judging a book by it's cover. And I must admit that to some extent, I do. But then you still liked me even for that flaw, so thank you."
 

"Everybody has flaws. No one is perfect. But just because you got your faults does it mean that you don't deserve to be admired by someone." Tao says.
 

"Yeah, you're right. And wow, I just agreed with a dummy like you." Janelle laughs. "What's more surprising is that a dummy like you made sense."
 

Tao chuckles at the teasing, feeling comfortable with Janelle for the first time in years. "I did, didn't I? But I didn't even think of that, I heard it from a friend. A really close friend who I had just had a fight with."
 

"Oh... well, that friend clearly knows what he's saying. Better make up with him."
 

"It's her. She's a girl."
 

"Oh..." Janelle nods.
 

Tao looks at where Sehun was throwing them furtive glances, chuckling to himself when the younger pointedly averted his eyes and act as if he wasn't spying on him and Janelle.
 

"So... Oh Sehun."
 

Pink tinged Janelle's cheeks, "What about him?"
 

"You like him."
 

Amazingly, Tao felt just a little twitch of defeat inside him. It doesn't hurt as much as it did now that he is talking to Janelle. He couldn't help but think that he might have reacted a little over the top earlier.
 

"How-- how did you know?" Janelle looked everywhere but Tao.
 

"I heard you earlier. I was about to talk you but you and Sehun were talking and I might have heard a few words without meaning to." Tao replied, a little apologetic. "So what did he say? You confessed to him, right?"
Janelle looked over to where Sehun was now talking to Luhan, her blush reappearing. "Well... he... he said he wanted to hang out."
 

Tao nodded. "So he likes you too."
 

"He didn't say that." Janelle shook her head.
 

"How many confessions did her receive ever since high school? And how many of those girls had he actually dated?"
 

Janelle couldn't think of anyone, at least not from school. She shook her head.
 

"Exactly. That only means he likes you to some extent." Tao confirmed.
 

Janelle gave him a confused look, "Why are you saying this? You had just confessed to me but now you're pushing me towards another guy."
 

"You sad that I was getting over you." Tao shrugged. "And maybe I am. But anyway, I can't possibly hinder two people who clearly likes each other, could I?"
 

Janelle nodded. "Well... thank you... Ugh, you're so weird. Confessing that you like me but then supporting me with my feelings for another guy." she groans. "Do you know how much my conscience is suffering right now?"
 

Tao smiles. "Well, as I've said, I can't go in between you when you like each other. I want you to be happy."
 

"Thanks... I guess." Janelle relented. "But... how about you? How are you going to be happy?"
 

And for that, Tao has no answer. How could he find his own happiness?
 

Oh. There is that one person who had always managed to help him smile. Mei Mae.
 

But he had hurt her, and hurt her bad too. What should he do now?
 

 

***
 

 

Jamaica buried herself under her blankets, hating the way the sun was blaring so brightly through the window, and exact opposite of how she feels.

 She hadn't had a wink of sleep all night, thinking mostly about what she had done the night before, and how it is sure going to affect everything now. 
 

"Ugh! Jamaica!!! How can  you be so stupid?!" she groans as she kicks wildly under her sheets, shireking into the pillows. She flings the blanket out of the way and then sat up, staring at wall where a picture of her and Tao was hanging. "This is all your fault!!! I hate you! Your stupidity has rubbed off on me, you jerk!"
 

She started throwing pillows across the room towards the picture.
 

"Why?! Why does this have to happen to me?! You! You are so ugly! Your eyebags are stupid! Your hair is stupid! Your whole face is stupid! You act like a stupid kid all the time! You always hog my stupid food! You...! Ugh! You are so dumb!" she yells, glaring at Tao's face on picture. "Why do I have to like a dumbb jerk like you!?!"
 

She was heaving after the long rant. And as if her energy had also depleted, she slumped back onto the bed.
 

There's a knock at the door and she yelled at the person to leave her alone. Her parents were concerned when she got home last night with her eyes red and puffy. She didn't offer any explanation knowing that it would only be like putting salt into her wounded heart. Anyone at home knows not to disturb her at least for the rest of day or else risk facing her wrath.
 

So when the person outside her bedroom door knocked insistently, she heaved herself off the bed, a deathly glare on. 
 

"Leave me alon---!"
 

Oh.
 

It's Tao.
 

He and his stupid sorry face that she hates to admit she could barely resist. He and a stuffed toy in one hand, a cardboard on the other with an apology written on it.
 

"What are you doing here?" she drawled, thinking that she should promptly close the door on his face instead of talking to him. 
 

Thinking about it now, talking to him had been the biggest mistake she had ever made in high school. If she had never talked to that gangster-looking Chinese boy with lonely eyes, she would have never end up with her heart torn up and feeling as if it had just  been trampled over by a truck.
 

"I... I came to apologize." Tao answered meekly. He offered the items in his hands. "I'm sorry."
 

Jamaica kept a poker face on. "Don't."
 

"B--but--"
 

"Please don't apologize! It hurts more than hearing you whining about some other girl! At least let me pretend that I didn't make myself look stupid in  front of you. Let's pretend that I stayed quiet the whole time you were pouring your heart out because it was broken by another person, okay? It's nothing new and I'm quiet used to it. Let's pretend... can we?"
 

Jamaica couldn't look at Tao in the eyes because her heart is breaking for the nth time in this lifetime and all because of one person too. She hates to see the pity in his eyes when all she wants to see in them is... her.
 

"Mei Mae--"
 

"I said stop using that name! I hate it!" she yells, closing the door with a thud. 
 

Tao's eyes widened in surprised and shock, "Mei-- Jamaica! Open up! Don't do this, please. Let's talk. Mei Mae!"
 

"Don't call me that! I hate how that makes me soft inside for you and do everything you want! I can't do it anymore, okay? I can't keep hoping that one day you'd look at me too."
 

Tears fell unbiddenly down her cheeks as she slumped down the wall, sniffing silently. She's hurt, but she can't let him see, or hear, that. She's tired of being pitied upon.
 

"Jamaica, please. Open the door and let's talk properly."
 

"No! Go away! Go back to China and be a monk or something. Just leave my heart alone."
 

Tao was silent on the other side of the door for a few minutes. And then there was an almost silent thud. If Jamaica could see him then she'd realize that they were sitting both directly next to the wall, the thin material separating them by inches, and also resembling the barrier that had separated their hearts apart.
 

"Janelle and Sehun are going out you know."
 

She didn't answer.
 

"We talked, Janelle and I. And she dumped me. And I thought... I thought I should come to you and apologize.  You're always there for me so..." 

Suddenly, Jamaica opened the door. Tao was surprised for the second time that hour with the unusual behavior of his best friend but she opened the door, so it could count as something good, right?
 

And then he's slapped across the cheek, a loud smakcing sound filling the silence. And it hurts like hell too. 
 

"Is that why you came here? Because you broke your heart? Well, go to hell, Tao! I'm tired of being your doormat, patiently waiting at your back door! And I don't do basketball, I don't do rebounds! I may have been stupid all this time but after last night, I promised myself to get a move on! Because waiting for you like this is stupid and it hurts!"
 

And then the door was closed on his face once again.
 

Crap, Tao thinks. He had just made the biggest mistake in his lifetime. With a sigh, he looked at the stuffed toy and the message board in his hands. There's a huge 'sorry, please forgive me' written on the board, and on the other side was something else.
 

Knowing that his Mei Mae won't be talking to him soon, he left the items on the floor next to the door. He contemplated at first but after a few seconds of inhibitions, he decided to just do it and slipped the board on the small space between the door and the floor.
 

After that, he left.
 

 

Jamaica doesn't know why but she felt it when Tao was already gone. She had been too accustomed to his presence that she knew when he was there and when he's not. And admittedly, she felt empty.
 

The message board didn't escape her attention, the written apololgy glaring at her. But she doesn't know what to do. Going back to being Tao's best friend after the confession would be awkward at the very least, thus making her rant to herself about confessing once again.
 

After a long while though, she decided that pouring her heart out to Tao twice in less than twenty-four hours had taken it's toll on her and she's so damn hungry. With another look, she picked the message board that was lying innocently on the floor. She'd have to face Tao sooner or later and she's practically thinking about moving to another school or something, maybe move out of the country even. Maybe she should take her own advice and go to China and be a monk herself, if that was even possible.
 

She noticed something though. There was another message on the other side of the board. With trembling hands, she turned the board over.
 

And tears sprang up in her eyes again. 
 

Mei-Mae... you're very important to me... and if you will still have me... can we try it out... you and I?
 

She slumped down to the floor again, indecision muddling her thoughts and giving a huge burden inside her heart. Should she give him a chance?
 

But she'd been hurt before. She had been hurting for a long time. If it doesn't work out, is she ready to get hurt some more?
 

 

***
 

 

They met up again after a week of Jamaica avoiding Tao at all cost. She wasn't ready to face him, not even sure if she would be able to. But thanks to their very nosy friends, Jamaica was forced to sit down opposite to Tao at an empty table at lunch break.
 

They were both silent for a long time, looking everywhere but each other, the food in front of them laying untouched.
 

"Yah! Talk, goddamnit!" Chen's irritated voice sounded from one of the tables across the room. The cafeteria was mostly empty so his voice floated around the area rather loudly. "Bicker, fight, or throw food at each other! Anything! Sheesh! Tao, wushu her or something!"
 

"If you don't stop embarassing me, I'll wushu your , hyung." Tao grumbled loudly.
 

Chen scoffs but stayed silent anyways. Tao turned to Jamaica.
 

"I'm sorry about that. I swear I got nothing to do with this. I was ready to wait until you talk to me again but they dragged me here. I'm really sorry. I'd leave, if you don't really want to talk to me. " he started to get up from the table.
 

"I read your message." Jamaica said softly, looking at the food sitting in front of her since she can't look at Tao. If she does, she's sure she'd chicken out.
 

Tao slowly went back to sit properly, biting his lips nervously. "Uh... that... uhm..." he peered at Jamaica awkwardly. "Well... what do you say...?"
 

Jamaica sighs, the hesitation in Tao's voice making her resolve falter. But she reasoned with herself, when it comes to wounds, it's better to rip out the bandaid fastly. It supposed to hurt less.
 

"Do you mean it?"
 

"Of course I do! And it's not because you're a rebound or something.  Mei Mae, you're really important to me. You're really special. After what happened, I know we can't be friends anymore, at least not how we're used to be. And thinking about losing you altogether is like having the air ripped out of me. I can't do it. That's how I realized that I can't live without you. And somehow, along the way, I've actually started relying you to be there more and more. I realized how much you've been a part of my life. I just couldn't see it because I believed that I like someone else. But when Janelle talked to me, I realized that what I had with Janelle... it was just a simple little crush. Or maybe a puppy love. A teenage dream."

Tao slowly let his hand travel the space between them across the table and took Jamaica's hands on his.
 

"But with you... it's different. It's a whole lot different. I just can't imagine my life without you there."
 

Jamaica loved the feeling of those warm hands enveloping hers. She had dreamed of this moment too many times yet those can't even compare to the actual thing happening. But she's still in doubt. Could she really open herself up again.
 

She looked up and finally meet Tao's eyes. They were so sincere that she could almost drown herself in them. Right then and there, she knew her answer.

 

 

 

"I... I want to try it too."
 

 

 

Tao seemed stunned for a moment before an ear-splitting grin broke his features. He held Jamaica's hands tighter, leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead.
 

"I promise to make you happy. I will never hurt you again. I'd rather bury myself under a blanket full of bugs than lose you." he murmurred before siting back down, not letting go of her hand still. "I'll make everything up to you from now on. I'll be your Tao until you got tired of having me around."
 

Jamaica smiles, her heart swelling with warmth. It's an unsure step into a new chapter of their lives, but this time, she knows that Tao would live up to his promises. It wouldn't be like the old routine for her.
 

This time, she would be walking to the future with Tao's hands holding hers.
 

"My Mei Mae..." Tao smiles.
 

 

 

Fin.