Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to leave Korea to study abroad. America. Europe. Canada. Anywhere, but Korea.

Every year I would try to apply to study abroad but it never worked out. It was Friday, mail day. I walked out to my mailbox, no longer having any hope to reach my dream. The box opened and there it was, the letter that would determine everything. Without even looking at the results, I already knew the answer. Standing by my mailbox, I decided to go to the closest cafe near my home and ordered my latte. Sitting at my usual spot, I placed the letter on the table and stared at it. Taking a deep breath, I slowly reached towards the letter of my future while closing my eyes. Slowly, carefully, I took the letter out and opened my eyes. Congratulations, you have been accepted to study abroad in Los Angeles, California. My eyes bulged out in complete shock. I stood up and began jumping around, dancing, and screaming like a maniac. Then I bumped into him… Our eyes met, and later, so did our heart.

After so many years, my dream of leaving was finally happening… until I met him. He was the one, he was my love, he was my life.

He came to me with a rose in his hand, a smile on his face, and love in his eyes. He completed me, he was the dream I never wanted to wake up from. However, I did not love, no not at all, I was in love. His jokes, his silliness, his gentleness, his maturity. It was all so perfect.

Years passed, and I have been stalling to go to California without realizing it. My dream came closer each and every day.

Home alone, I stared at the acceptance letter on my coffee table. Dream or love. Conflict, problems, heartaches; they began to develop. I cried. And cried. And cried. To leave or to stay. The letter sat there staring at me cry. I cried myself to sleep; my decision was finally made.

I woke up to find another letter on my coffee table next to a crumpled up letter that was opened up. I read the letter:

From the crumbled up acceptance letter, I can see that you decided to stay. I am writing to you hoping you will change your mind and go to America. Please don’t make me that person. I don’t want to stand in the way of your dream. I never wanted to hurt you, but let this pain last now rather than later. I remember our love as if it were yesterday and I will cherish our memories of us together. There will always be a special spot for you in my heart because our love will never be forgotten. The word ‘goodbye’, I know it’s difficult to say. But, know that this isn’t the end for us. Please follow your dreams, it will make you happy, and it will also make me happy. Go pack up, I’ll drop you off at the airport tomorrow. I love you.

Luhan

I read it over and over again. I have now memorized everything, so I went upstairs to pack. I went to bed reflecting about our past. Today was the day when I realized his perfection, his kindness, his consideration, his love. He has given me so much that I don’t deserve him. The doorbell rang and he stood there looking at me with those eyes. He grabbed my luggage and placed it in the trunk. The whole ride was in complete silence.

We arrived and I stepped out of the car. The word ‘goodbye’, I know it’s difficult to say. He was right, it was difficult. I was hesitating before I could even say my farewells. He pulled me in for a hug, a hug I would never forget. As he let go, he planted a kiss on my forehead.

I walked away as tears rolled down my cheek. It was so hard, so difficult. I left and boarded the plane.

He walked back to his car, “Goodbye,” he whispered to himself.

“Goodbye,” I crooned to myself on the plane.