I looked at Ravi and started laughing. I knew this kid was good at joking but never this good. But when I saw his expression wasn’t filled with mirth, the truth suddenly came crashing down. I gasped in terror as I looked him in the eyes, unable to speak.

            “I’m sorry, Hongbin.” He responded, his loud, booming voice now gone. I couldn’t find the words to tell him it was okay. Everything I thought I knew about Ravi was now changed and I still couldn’t comprehend it. Ever since I knew Ravi, since middle school, he had always liked girls. Every other topic we talked about was girls. At times it got annoying, but that’s what I had always known and grown to like as a friend. Now, he comes and says this, right as I’m trying to figure out my own feelings for Hyuk.

            “R-Ravi…” I started but trailed off at the end. What was I supposed to say? Ravi, as much as I like you as a friend, I can’t return my feelings. But that sounded too formal and he’d probably feel worse. Maybe, Hey, man. I’m sorry but I don’t like you back. Let’s just stay friends. Nah, it’s too casual. I wanted to hit my head in anger. I hated being this thrown off and having my brain all messed up. Why was I like this anyway? It’s not like I have feelings for Ravi… it’s far from it.

            Maybe it’s because all my friends had had relationships and I was jealous of them, since I had never dated anyone in my entire life. Or maybe, it’s just because no one has fully come out and said this to me. Sure, in earlier years, girls have come up to me and confessed that they think I’m cute, but that’s not that same. Now that someone, no, my best friend confessed that they liked me, it seemed so unreal. I thought about pinching myself to see if it was a dream, but decided not to because if it wasn’t, I’d just look like a fool.

            I looked back at the tall boy in front of me and I knew I had to say something. “Why?” was my response and I know, it was a bad one. Ravi blinked and looked down on the ground, thinking hard about my one letter sentence.

           “Because you’re funny and actually care for me. Not many people do that.” He answered me.

           “Hakyeon-hyung does.” I told him. Ravi chuckled lightly.

           “I couldn’t see Hakyeon as anything more than a friend.” Ravi explained.

           “But what about me? Why do you see me as more than a friend?” I kept questioning him, so confused with my own self more than Ravi’s feelings.

           “I don’t know why. I can’t explain why I feel this way. Things like that just happen, don’t they?” he said quickly and quietly. I stayed silent after that, realizing how right he was. I didn’t ever know why I began liking Hyuk and I didn’t realize until a long time later how much I actually did like him. There was no reason, honestly, except he made me happy. Maybe I made Ravi happy.

           I shook my head. I felt like a little kid, although I wasn’t a grown up either. I gave a long, drawn out sigh and sat down on the couch in exasperation. This whole ordeal was about to give me a headache and I didn’t want to have one of those again. Ravi walked over to the couch but didn’t sit down. Instead, he stood watching me. I ruffled my own hair, letting myself think about what was going on. I knew I was hurting Ravi by not saying anything, but I couldn’t do anything before I cleared my head.

           “Hongbin, I can leave if you don’t want me here. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry.” He started for the door and I didn’t stop him. I looked in his direction as his back move farther away from me.

           “Wonshik!” I called, not caring about his nickname in that moment. He froze and turned around. He looked so broken and embarrassed that I felt terribly sorry for him. He clutched onto his baseball hat tightly and his face looked paler than usual. “Look,” I began. “I can’t return your feelings as of now, but give me some time to think and maybe I’ll get back to you. In the mean time, let’s just stay friends and please don’t let this come between us.” I smiled, holding out my arms for a hug.

           Ravi just nodded and patted my shoulder before turning back and going out the door (although he had a bit of trouble pushing it open). After he left, I wandered into my kitchen and pulled out a box of mochi I kept tucked in the freezer. I grabbed the box and soon collapsed on my couch, trying to find the television remote so I could turn on my tiny TV. I couldn’t even pay attention to the news or whatever was going on on the screen. All that was going through my head was Ravi and Hyuk, the two people who had the most influence on my life and those odd feelings we all had for each other. I kept thinking about who Hyuk liked and if he still cared about that Jihye girl.

          Then I realized that Hyuk probably would never like me back and it’d be one way the whole time. I sighed for the nth time that day and decided not to think about it and wait for school on Monday to deal with all my feelings.

---

           I woke up on Sunday at 12 pm and wasn’t even hungry. My hair was sticking up in all the wrong places and my face looked like it just went through a beating. I rubbed my eyes as I stumbled out of my small bedroom and into my small bathroom. It was clean and white, with a toilet, shower and a tiny sink. I picked up my blue toothbrush and put it to my mouth, but only held it there as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I frowned a bit and washed my toothbrush off, soon putting it back.

           I landed on my bed again and groaned loudly. Suddenly, someone knocked at the door and I sat up, wondering if I should answer it or not. I went to the door and looked through the peek hole and saw a girl, about my age, with auburn hair and smiling eyes. I blinked once, my face expressionless, thinking who this girl could be. I had never seen her before, but for some odd reason, she looked very familiar.

           “Hongbin!” she chimed and I slowly opened my door. She stood in front of me, looking me up and down and her happy face becoming a disgusted one. “You look like a cow!” she cried and I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to deal with girls right now. She froze and tilted her head, letting her long hair fall on one side across her shoulder. “Don’t you remember me?” she asked.

           “No.” I said plainly. She pouted her big, red lips and stomped her foot a bit.

           “How can you not remember me?” she seemed to almost shriek. I started to turn away but she grabbed my hand and pulled me back. She looked into my eyes and started doing aegyo. I didn’t respond. I had no clue what she was trying to do but I didn’t care either.

           “Go away.” I demanded and she started pouting again, balling her hands up in fists.

           “Hongbin-oppa.” She raised an eyebrow. “It’s me, Hyomi.” she said, obviously upset with my lack of remembering skills. When she said that name, though, everything came rushing back. There, standing in front of me, was my cousin, who moved to America with her parents when she was ten and left me and the rest of the family behind.

          “Hyomi--” I gasped. She had definitely grown a lot since then. Her hair was long and wavy; in the light it almost looked blonde. Her face was covered in make-up which helped extenuate her features and her clothes consisted of a tight shirt and skirt. To say the least, she was trying to show off her body. I wasn’t interested in talking with her at the moment, though, so I tried my best to shoo her away. She was pretty stubborn and wouldn’t let that happen.

          She went over to my couch and sat down on it, crossing her legs and making sure a lot of skin was showing. I thought about how old she’d be now and it came to my attention she’d be around 19 years old. I walked over to her, not bothering to sit down.

          “Why are you here?” I demanded. She pulled me down onto the couch next to her and started fixing my hair with her hands. I frowned, annoyed. “What are you doing here?” I repeated. She smiled at me, her brown eyes twinkling.

          “I couldn’t come visit my cousin who I’ve missed for nine years?” she asked. I nodded. There was nothing wrong with visiting family members. But, it was weird that she was back in Korea.

          “What brought you back?”

          “Well,” she took a long pause and looked me in the eyes. “You.” She finished. I was doe with surprises for a while, so I got up again and walked to the door. I opened it (after a little bit of trouble) and held it there for her.

          “If you’re not going to be serious, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I said, harshly. If she didn’t realize by now that I was not in a good mood, she was pretty dumb. She stood up and walked over to me, hitting me hard on the back. I bent over a bit as a rush of sudden pain shot up me.

          “I am being serious, Hongbin-oppa. You know you’re the only family here in Korea left.” She said, her smile not gone yet.

          “And?”

         “And, I’ve come to live with you.” she finished my question. As she said that, I felt hate bubbling up inside me. She kept talking but all I did was stand there, my breathing getting heavier and deeper. Finally, she stopped and looked at me, frightened.

        “O--” she began but she didn’t even get to finish.

        “Leave!” I shouted. “Don’t come back until I tell you to. I don’t want anyone living with me! I’m not in the right position for that. Go away.” I said, even more angrily than before. Hyomi looked shocked but then smiled at me.

       “Okay, oppa. But, don’t think you’ve gotten rid of me. I’ll be back.” She winked and left.

---

((Sorry it took so long to update the story. I ended up misplacing my flash drive and so I had to wait until Monday to get it back and it was very confusing. Anyway, here is the next chatper. Here you'll meet Hyomi who will become very important to the story so watch out. Bye!))