She was laying motionless on the hospital bed. Her empty eyes lost in the nothing, her breath shallow, almost imposible to hear. The slow dripping of the IV broke the dead silence in the room every 15 seconds.

In her mind wild thoughts fought for dominance. Good memories... bad memories... no...

Now all memories were bad.

There was nothing left but pain.

Slowly... just as the IV drop... a tear rolled down her face and disappeared in the strands of her long hair. Images flashed before her unseeing eyes.

The happy walk in the park.

The lunch in her favourite restaurant.

The fateful decision to draw her salary from the bank that day.

It was all before her eyes - the several people in queue, the happy chat with the person who meant the world for her... the shouts from behind.

"Everybody hands up!" Three masked men kept shouting orders, pointing with their guns all around. People started screaming... someone was shot... police arrived.

In no time they were trapped inside with the robbers. Negotiations started.

A small voice of her once-alive self laughed at how emotionless her memories were... Even a beginner journalist would do it better.

Rage rose against this voice.

 

HOW DARE YOU????

 

YES, I AM EMOTIONLESS!!!

 

I SOUND LIKE DEAD...

 

                                             ......... because I am.

I died.

 

Sungmin was in there with her, holding her, comforting her. In the midst of all this madness she felt safe. 

Then the leader of the criminals shut the phone to the police officer with a last shout that someone will die now to prove they were serious.

His eyes fell on her.

Blood forze in her veins when she saw him looking down at her and felt his sudden grasp on her arm. He pulled her rudely and pointed the gun to her head.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DO THIS!!!"

In her confused state of mind she saw Sungmin jump and throw himself at him. The other two held him back.

He was saying something her brain refused to process. Tears ran down his cheeks.

When she was let go and the gun pointed at him she understood.

 

He offered to take her place.

 

Her wide-open eyes stared at him in disbelieve and horror. 

She wanted to run to him and stop this insanity, but she couldn't.

Her body was frozen and numb.

She just stood there.

 

"Sweetheart, close your eyes." 

The whisper got to her through the deafenning silence in the room.

She shool her head lightly, beginning to hyperventilate.

 

"Please... for me..."

Thousands of words ran to her lips.. but she only managed a barely audible "I love you".

 

"I love you too"

He smiled gently.

 

The robbers suddenly decided it would be too cruel to shoot him here, in front of her and dragged him out before she managed to move a muscle.

 

The sound of the shot got to her and she suddenly grasped all that happened. Her scream pierced the world with endless pain.

And she fell into the darkness.

 

 

---

 

Was it yesterday or last year?

She didn't know.

It didn't mater anyway.

 

Nothing mattered now.

 

All was wothless.

 

All was vain.

 

She turned her eyes to the silent figure on the chair next to her.

And spoke.

For the first time since she saw him there.

 

"I hate you, do you know that?"

 

The illusion looked back at her and nodded.

"I thought you would."

At the sound of his voice her eyes welled up.

It was not fair... sounded just like him... just like he was here... with her...

 

But she knew he wasn't.

She laughed dryly.

 

"What's so funny?" 

He looked concerned at her face that showed anything but amusement.

 

"Nothing. I was just thinking how much I prefer this insanity to reality."

 

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 

"I'd rather be insane and think you are here when you are not, than face the reality I won't see you ever again."

 

He knelt down and faced her, his hand brushing through her hair. She was almost sure he said something else, but she never heard it, beacause anger, resentment and unimaginable pain raged in her veins.

She curled up in a ball and felt him trying to hug her.

Then hell broke loose.

 

"I HATE YOU!!!" She kept screaming and hitting him with her frail fist.

 

"I HATE YOU!!!  YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME... YOU SAID YOU'D BE ALWAYS BY MY SIDE... YOU PROMISED...

 

 

 

                                     YOU PROMISED...

 

 

                                                                           you promised...."

 

Sungmin held the sobbing girl and tears stained his own face. He knew what the doctor said... but he couldn't wait anymore.

 

"Love..." she heard that and held herself silent to hear the only thing she had left of him... the illusion.

 

"I kept my promise."

 

A silent whisper of strong rebelious hope rang in her heart.

 

"I am here... for real." 

 

"Am i dead too?" 

He chuckled at her shaky hopeful question.

 

"No sweetheart, you are not.                   Neither am I."

 

Doubt and hope collided in her eyes.

 

"The shot you heard was the police shooting that man. I am here and I love you."