She was just sitting on her bed, with her back rested on the bed's header; her purple blanket up to her torso, covering her abdomen, scrolling down Twitter, with a bowl of cheese flavor snacks, as usually. That was her almost every day routine when she was on her holidays. She'd spend her days just lying on the bed with a bowl of anything, scrolling down Twitter or watching TV. She wasn't glad to be on holidays, not holidays like that. When she had nothing to focus on, she'd spend her days just waiting anxiously for any update. She wanted so hard to finally know that Infinite had no schedules so maybe he'd send a message to her. She checked her messages almost always just in case he'd send a message and her phone didn't notice it. From time to time, she'd just stop using her phone, fix her position on the bed so she could watch just the phone, waiting for his call. She was always waiting for messages never written, calls never made.

She was always waiting. She was always waiting because she had nothing else to do. If she was at school at that time, she wouldn't be so pathetic waiting for him to call her or even send her a message. She wasn't even asking for a big thing that couldn't be given, she just wanted him to tell her that he was okay. Of course she knew he was alright, Twitter and the TV always made sure to notice her that he and the others were okay. But she just wanted him to let her know that he even thought of her as much as she thought of him. She wanted to know that at least he cared for her. She knew he was so busy due to his job and she wasn't complaining for it, but she thought that a minute of his life that he took to send her a message saying I'm fine or Goodnight wasn't going to make him more tired. She wasn't even expecting something like I'm miss you, no, they weren't in such relation. But it'd be awesome...

She sighed in disappointment after like an hour she spent just in front of the phone, not even touching it, having all sort of thoughts on her mind, deciding whether to send him a message or not. She bit her lip after taking minutes to decide it and finally took the phone. She went to their conversation and re-read it.

Hi, are you free this Saturday? 4:45pm

I don't think so.. I'm sorry. 9.50pm

It's okay... And how are you? 9:51pm

Hi... 8:40pm

Hey... 9:05pm

Hi, how are you? 9:57pm

Hi... 10:08pm

Was it even a conversation? It was just her sending message to a saved number on her phone.

She sighed again and read once more the monologue. I'm really pity, she thought. She closed her eyes, holding her phone on her chest, squeezing it tight, wishing it vibrate noticing to her a message. She bit her bottom lip while praying on her mind so he'll send her a message.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was the sunlight slipping into her room through the window. She had felt asleep the night before, waiting for his message -as usual. She let out a deep breath in desperation and ruffled her hair just before rolling on her bed, making a mess of it. She felt so frustrated to know that once again he hasn't called her.

She closed her eyes again, with the blankets enrolled around her body and she didn't even want to check the phone, she knew there wasn't anything, she knew he hasn't called or sent her a message. Or at least that was what she wanted at that moment.

She managed to take out her arm of the enrolled blanket and reached her phone that has fallen down the bed while she was rolling in desperation. She unblocked it and her eyes couldn't believe what they were watching. She blinked several times still in disbelieve.

Hi... are you awake? 12:48am

You might be sleeping, right? I'm sorry for bothering you this late... 12:55am

Uh... bye... 12:58am

She re-checked the ID of the message. It was his name. Then she checked the number. It was his number. She knew his phone number by heart, even better than her own phone number or her mom's. She checked the number once more. Every digit was correct. It was his phone number, it definitely was. She re-read the messages.

"It can't be..." she muttered, her eyes focused on the phone. "It-it can't be. Something gotta be wr-wrong." She kept repeating while reading again and again the messages. "This can’t be happening to me!" She finally screamed with her lungs. She couldn't believe that the messages she had been waiting for the last weeks had came when she was sleeping. She wouldn't sleep early at night because she was so anxious waiting for the messages; she slept late in the night and woke up early in the morning, trying to be awake the same hours he might be awake so she would be awake when he send the message. But the only day she had fallen asleep out of conscious, he sent the messages she wanted so hard to read.

She felt her eyes full of water and couldn't help but let some tears slid down her cheeks in frustration. She felt so useless because she fell asleep when she shouldn't.

She removed the blanket from her body a bit too roughly and sat on the bed and started to type the answer.

Hey! I'm sorry I didn't answer you! I felt asleep. I'm so sorry, I've been waiting so much for the message and I haven't slept well so I-

She stopped and frowned at her own words. What was she writing? She was typing like the crazy girl she wasn't. She wrote too much anxious in that message. She was going to look really pity.

She erased the message and started to type another.

Hi, I was sleeping when you sent that message. I'm sorry for not replying you last night, I fell asleep without-

She stopped. Once more she was acting like a crazy woman. She shouldn't be acting like that, she should act normal...

Normal?

Hi, Myung. I was sleeping. Did you need anything last night?  8:13am.

She re-read the message after sent it and finally regretted sending such short and cold message but she could do nothing, what is done can't be undone.

She stared a few minutes more at the screen, unlocking it when the light turned off. She even started to press the lock button to lock the phone and press it again to unlock it again, waiting for something she knew wouldn't happen. She knew he was busy that day (as every other day of his whole life), so she also knew he wouldn't attend his phone so early in the morning. He might be shooting any scene of his new drama, practicing for Infinite's next comeback, shooting CFs, or anything else that he had to do because the whole world seemed to be unable to do anything without Myungsoo. No one could breathe without having him around, even if he couldn't breathe for real, even if he wanted to do anything else. No, they would not care for that. They just wanted to have him around.

After having all those thoughts, she realized how stupid were them and that those thoughts were the kind of thoughts that Myungsoo would have, thinking such nonsense even when he knew weren't true. But those weren't Myungsoo's thoughts. Those were her own thoughts. She was the one producing such things on her mind. Maybe she missed him so much that she was starting to have similar thoughts than him. Or maybe she was just doing nothing too much time that she was becoming even more stupid.

She shook her head and rubbed her neck in desperation, realizing that she hasn't been doing anything in the past days. She never even hanged out with her school's friends because she was afraid he might call her at any time and she wouldn't be able to meet him. But she was doing too many things for him, even if he wouldn't ever know that, she had been doing too much.

So she decided to stop. She wasn't in a "fight" with him. No. Why would she? They weren't in the relation they could just fight and then make up things after apologizing to the other. So she shouldn't feel like fighting with him. She was just going to hang out with her friends. She deserved that. She deserved to go out and have a nice day with her friends. She wasn't doing anything wrong, was she?

She went off her bed and walked to the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. She then went to the kitchen and took two eggs, and fried them on a pan. She took three toasts and put them along with her fried eggs in a plate. She took a bottle of milk from the freezer and the plate to the table. Since she grew up in America, liked to have occidental breakfasts every morning. And that was something she knew Myungsoo liked too because he always told her to have those kind of breakfast.

She sighed in frustration. Everything reminded her to Myungsoo, even her breakfast. She had to admit it, she missed him, she missed him so much that her heart was in a big pain every time she thought about him (always). She wasn't even sure if she was in the right to miss him, she was...

She couldn't even answer that to herself. She didn't even know what we're them, what kind of relation they had. He had... kissed her once... and twice... but she wasn't his girlfriend, she knew it. There are some cases where two people don't start relations like they... should. They kiss, then they ask to be boyfriends and then they fell in love (and sometimes they break up even without falling in love). There are other cases when they fall in love and one of them ask to the other to be boyfriends and the other agree and then they kiss (those are very common). And there are some others when any of them ask to be boyfriends. They just once kissed because they liked each other and after that they start to have dates like boyfriends and the both of them know they are boyfriends, even if any of them asked to the other (those are even more common than the other two because people think that asking to the other to be boyfriends makes them look weak or too in love and people believe that the one that loves most gets more hurt).

But th