1.

Songs I listened to while writing this chapter (in order):

Infinite - Only tears, Time (woohyun solo), Third part

2PM - Like a movie, Destiny

TaeNy - Lost in love

2NE1 - Come back home, Gotta be you

March.

My dad left me breakfast on a tray on my desk.

Bacon and eggs, along with a glass of orange juice. He prepared that for me every single morning.

I didn't eat it until he had left my room.

I saw the kids play outside today. I watched them from my bedroom window.

I reminisced the times I did that when I was younger. When everything was okay.

I had a dream of my mom.

She didn't want to go.

And I didn't want her to go either.

I think I cried in my sleep because my eyes were red in the morning.

I miss her so much it hurts.

Dad told me he would be hiring someone to help around in the house. He said he got a great job offer and has to take it in order to support us financially. For that reason he can't be with me all day.

I didn't want to look at him.

She was here. I heard her greet me but I couldn't get myself to even look at her.

I had no energy for anything after crying all night.

She comes in the morning and leaves when it gets dark.

Right after dad comes back home from work.

She doesn't talk to me like dad does. Just does what she has to do.

Am I scaring her?

I looked at her.

She had dark brown hair that she put up into a bun on top of head.

She smiled when she saw me in my pink satin pajamas.

I sat in front of my mirror as she brushed my hair. I stared at her, she was so concentrated. Then I looked at myself.

Compared to her, I looked like a corpse.

I sat in the living room for a change. Her surprised look was amusing when she arrived in the morning and saw me sitting on the couch and not in my room.

April.

She has been coming here for a month now.

I tried to put my hair up into a similar bun, just like hers. But I failed. So I just tied my hair into a ponytail.

She said I looked nice today.

Dad asked if I liked having her around the house.

I didn't look at him, but I nodded.

She made non-asian food for dinner today. Pasta carbonara.

The pasta was under cooked but I ate it all.

She brought a book with her. I wanted to know what the book was about, but I couldn't get myself to ask her.

She studied for her exams. Right after she cooked for me, she dove into her books.

Again.

I waited in the kitchen. Watched her cook.

She asked me something but I never answered her. And she wasn't expecting me to.

I sat on the couch, staring at the light blue sky when I heard her curse.

I slowly walked to the kitchen and saw her holding a towel on her finger.

The blood was slowly coloring the towel red.

I was worried.

She didn't come today.

She didn't come.

Why didn't she come?

I couldn't ask my dad what was the reason.

I felt delighted to see her today. Just like she had read my mind, she answered my question. She was taking an exam yesterday.

She helped me to make a bun out of my hair, just like the one she had. And then we watched tv.

I really wanted to talk to her.

I didn't dream of my mom.

I dreamt that I was in a dark forest, when suddenly a very bright light replaced the darkness.

I thought of Taeyeon when I woke up.

She brought ice cream, strawberry flavored. She said she didn't know what I liked but assumed I would like strawberry ice cream because its pink.

I smiled at her.

I haven't cried for days. When I think of mom, I don't feel like crying anymore.

I just feel sad.

Taeyeon.

Tae.

Yeon.

I said it outloud numerous times last night when dad was asleep.

Saying her name feels nice.

I listened to dad talk on the phone. She wouldn't come tomorrow again because of her exams.

I have no reason to get out of my room tomorrow.

I stood by the window. Dad was making coffee in the kitchen. She would be coming here early today.

I waited and waited until I saw her walking on the street and take a turn to our house.

I ran to the living room to be the first one to see her.

She asked if I liked music. She told me how some song had been playing in her head for some days now.

I really wanted to hear that song.

I like it when she talks to me. She goes on and on talking about everything, all day but I always listen. She's not awkward with me anymore.

Something about her voice makes my heart flutter.

I don't wake up at the same time dad does anymore. Only a few minutes before she arrives.

My nightmares are gone.

Dad told me she wouldn't be coming for a few days. I wanted to know why.

I wanted to cry but I saved it for the night when dad went to sleep.

I find myself missing her.

I can't help but wonder why.

Taeyeon.

I say her name in my mind.

Taeyeon.

I sat in front of the mirror, my hair was a mess. It has been that way for days now. But I didn't want to comb it. I wanted her to be the one to do it.

She would come back tomorrow...

The sun was shining today.

I nodded when she asked if the food was good. She wasn't expecting it, but she smiled.

I want to see her smile again.

She was mopping the floor and slipped on a wetspot.

I laughed.

She wasn't mad at me but looked shocked instead when she heard me laugh.

Dad hugged me this morning and told me he was proud of me.

I didn't know why, I had done nothing to make him proud for the past year.

I woke up and headed to the bathroom. Dad wasn't here.

She was.

I wondered why she had come so early but then I looked at the clock.

I slept in. And I had a dream of her.

I helped her to cook today. She did the cutting and I handled the frying pan.

I don't know why I feel weird in my stomach when I look at her.

She allowed me to do the cutting today. We prepared her favourite meal.

Before dad came back from work, she brushed my hair. I found myself closing my eyes and enjoying it.

May.

It's been a year since mom died. Taeyeon didn't come and dad stayed home instead.

I don't know if I was more sad about the anniversary, or that I didn't see Taeyeon today.

We baked cookies. She had flour all over her face and hair.

She looked beautiful.

She was singing along the songs that were on the radio. I felt weird in my stomach again. Was it joy?

I wonder how her friends are like.

Am I her friend?

She was stressed. She didn't talk to me like she always did. She kept sighing and apologized that she couldn't brush my hair before she left the house.

I want to ask her what's wrong.

I stood in front my mirror. The clock on my wall showed that it was way past midnight.

I opened my mouth and said her name outloud.

I will talk to her tomorrow.

She kept staring at me the whole day.

She was cooking and I asked her if she needed any help.

My voice sounded so strange to me. It was a bit hoarse even though I practiced last night so I wouldn't sound stupid talking all of a sudden.

Dad kept asking me questions but I didn't want to answer him.

Instead I anticipated to see her tomorrow.

I didn't talk much but she tried to make me talk. Her intentions were cute.

She kept asking me a bunch of questions, and each time I answered her. She smiled a lot.

Her smile is nice. Her laugh is funny, it actually makes me laugh too. Somehow it brightens my day.

I asked her about that song she told me about sometime ago.

At first she couldn't remember it, but then she played it on her phone.

Now it's stuck in my head. I can't help but smile because it reminds me of her.

What would happen after she would have to quit coming here?

That question buzzed in my mind constantly.

I didn't want her to leave me too.

I fell asleep on the couch.

I had a dream of my mom and I woke up crying. She came to me and consoled me.

She awkwardly hugged me, like she was afraid I would be shocked about it.

But she doesn't know that I felt safe when she embraced me.

I still don't talk to my dad.

He's waiting for it but I can't do it.

Not yet.

I wonder why I find it hard to talk to dad but not to Taeyeon.

What is so special about her?

I just...don't know...

Her presence makes me feel comfortable. I want her to be around all the time. When she leaves, I want to tell her to stay.

I feel this certain warmth around her.

She's my friend.

My best friend.

Taeyeon asked me why I don't talk to dad.

I didn't answer her, I really don't know the reason myself.

She took the hint and started to talk about other things.

It started to rain a lot and my dad offered her to stay for the night. She slept on the floor, right next to my bed.

And I couldn't sleep.

June.

Four months. That's how long Taeyeon has been coming here.

She told me about how she was planning to move away. I'm scared.

She is going to leave me.

I cried last night.

I cried so hard when I thought of Taeyeon. How could I ask her to stay?

Did I have the right to ask her that?

I told my dad that I didn't want her to leave. I hoped he would talk to her or something.

Dad wouldn't stop hugging me. He was happy to hear me talk. He didn't even acknowledge what I had told him.

He was happy but I was devastated.

Next week, she said.

She was moving next week.

I grew anxious.

I panicked.

Why couldn't she see that I...

*sigh*

I need her.

She left the house.

I was already crying in my room. By the time I saw her pass the two houses on our street, I ran out.

I ran outside, right into the cold air, without my shoes, without my jacket. I just ran after her.

She worried that I would get sick.

I hugged her tightly. My hands gripped onto her jacket.

And she hugged me back as tightly. I cried on her shoulder, her hands were rubbing my back. I felt complete in her arms like that.

I told her I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want her to leave me.

And she just smiled and told me everything would be alright. That someday we would meet again.

I...

I didn't believe her.

September.

I haven't seen her in three months. My dad sent me back to school since I was better.

But I missed her so bad. So freaking bad. I wasn't feeling any better. Not without her.

Today was the first day of the semester, I was walking in the school hallway looking for the cafeteria.

I took a turn around the corner and spotted a girl standing there.

It was her... Standing by the notice board, reading something. My heart clenched.

She turned her head and shared eye contact with me.

I wanted to break down into tears but I held them back.

She started to walk towards me, without any hesitation. A gentle smile plastered on her face.

When she reached me, she hugged me and told me...

That she had missed me.

For some reason, when she looked into my eyes, I just knew she wasn't ever going to leave me again...

I don't even know. So random.

I had this idea earlier when I was at my brothers house and I tried so hard to hold on to this idea until I got back home. And Ive been writing this ever since XD

Hope you enjoyed it though, it was different for me to write something like this. My first Taeny oneshot~

Please leave comments! :D

Love you all <3