Story Title: Randomly In Love

Author: inseparated

Reviewer: yeolwho05

Title- 4/5
Though your title is a very common title and is used constantly, I love the feel to it. It's not too long, not too short. It's just right. Also, it catches the reader's attention


Graphic/Poster- 3/5
It's a nice and simple poster, but it's kind of blurred especially Kris' face. It gave me more of an angsty feeling than of romance.


Foreword/Description- 14/15
Everything just seems cliche for me. I have encountered a lot of fanfictions like these and I can't seem to find anything unique with this story. I can't find any twist that can encourage me to read more.



Characterization- 8/10
The character chart was simple and was neat looking but you should reduce the information you gave. Somehow, it contained too much information that the readers won't be curious of what is to come in the story anymore.


Language- 22/30
Your English is good but I saw some errors though. There were a lot of redundant phrases as well. You have a problem with tenses too. Some were minor and some were major but luckily the idea was still there. Let me point some of the errors I found:

Chapter 1:
1. The school is not that far from here and I'm already 18 years old to look out for myself. - The school is not that far from here. I'm already 18 years old. I can look out for myself. (You don't have to squeeze it all in one sentence.)
2. I raised one of my eyebrow - eyebrows
3. "Honey, I know that you're fine with waking to school. And I know that the school is not very far from our house. And that you can take care of yourself. But, wouldn't it be nice to have a friend to talk to when you're going to school and when you're walking back home? Using bike is a good idea, isn't it?" - "Honey, I know that you're fine with walking to school since it's not very far from our house. I also know that you can take care of yourself. Wouldn't it be nice though to have a friend to talk to when you're going back and forth to school? Using a bike is a good idea, isn't it?" 
4. "Okay. You're going to school with Kris. Either you like it or not." - You're going to school with Kris whether you like it or not.
5. "No! I'm going to walk to school. Either eomma like it or not." - whether you like it or not. (I used you since 'you' are talking to your mom.)
6. "And he sleep with you when it's Christmas Day when you're still a little cute 5 years old kid?" - he slept with you when you were still a cute little 5 year old kid on Christmas day. (past tense) 
7. He made me sleep on the floor. Without blankets, pillows or anything. And he hugged my favourite teddy bear. - He made me sleep on the floor without blankets or pillows and he hugges my favorite teddy bear.
8. "And he even compliment you about your hair!" - complimented (past tense)
9. That's because you're there at that time. - you were there
10. I let out my tounge at him and I closed the windows quickly. - I stuck my tongue out at him and closed the windows quickly.
11. He even lock it up! - locked (past tense)
12. He smirked more. - He smirked once more.

Chapter 2:
1. I walked left to right while I tried to think of what should I do to take back my diary from Kris. - I walked from left to right thinking of how I can take my diary back from Kris.
2. I started to panick. - panic. 
3. What if he.. Tell him? - tells him?
4. Right at that time, she spotted him, his body was shaking hard. - Right that time, she spotted him. His body was already shaking hard.
5. Seconds later, she was already inside of her house. Leaving Kris alone. Who's now putting his palms on his face. Looking embarassed and dissapointed with himself. - Seconds later, she was already inside of her house, leaving Kris alone who was now putting his palms on his face as he felt embarassed and disapointed with himself.
6. Later that night, I sit on my bed and started to panick all over again. - I sat on my bed and started to panic all over again. 


Plot/Originality/Flow- 15/25
I'm sorry but I can't say that your plot is original. Like I said a while ago, I have encountered a lot of romance-themed stories like this so I don't really find it unique anymore. Although I see some potential, your work needs a lot of touching up. Add more twists to the story and remember not to put too much information in the description/foreword part since readers have the tendency to ignore the story if they already know what was going to happen.


Bonus/Overall Enjoyment- 6.5/10
I enjoyed the story though especially how Kris bullies her even though the words he said were actually the opposite. I can see potential in your story. Just continue improving especially your grammar and writing style.


Overall: 72.5/100


Note: I'm sorry if my words seemed too harsh! *deep bows* Anyway good luck with your story! :3