It was dark outside.
      Dark, cold- No, it was freezing.
      Kyungsoo sat on the rooftop, watching the silent, blurry street he lived in as it got filled up by snow. The traffic light switched between red and green every 10 seconds. It was broken for what seemed like 10 years. Maybe more, maybe less. The brown haired boy held all his attention on the streets, with so many thoughts flying aroud his head, yet so little words. He wouldn't even notice that he wasn't alone if it wasn't for the other's golden hair and warm hands, touching his cheeks even though it was too cold to not be wearing gloves.
      Sehun smiled as he sat by Kyungsoo's side.
“what are you doing up here? It's ten past midnight.”, the taller boy whispered, in a breath so warm that Kyungsoo could almost feel the taste of his
mouth in it.
      Almost.
“too stressed out. I could use a break”, Kyungsoo said, sharply. He didn't mean to sound like that, but he was so tired, so undoubtedly irritated with the world and everything, that he couldn't help himself. He could only hope that Sehun hasn't noticed.
      The golden haired boy had noticed. He smiled, looking down to the street.
“are you happy, Kyungsoo?”, Sehun asked, and the other took longer to answer than he usually would. The truth was, there was so much in his head- these little things that would be common, not troublesome at all for some people, but it consumed Kyungsoo. Ate him alive. But he couldn't put his weight on others shoulders. He shouldn't.
“yes”
“are you always happy?”, Sehun asked, not even looking at the older boy.
      That was a tricky question.
“no one is happy all the time”, Kyungsoo shrugged. Sehun left out a little chuckle.
“imagine how crazy would it be, being happy everyday”
“why are you saying that?”, Kyungsoo asked.
“It's late, we should go back inside”, he said, standing up and leaving, before Kyungsoo could say anything. He left Kyungsoo in the dark.
       Literally.

       The next night, Kyungsoo climbed up the stairs to the roof, and there he was, sitting on the very spot they were the day before. The brown haired boy sat next to the younger.
“I do not hold grudges, but I don't have amnesia”, the younger said.
“what?”
“you shouldn't, either. Good night.”, and he left.

      Sehun found Kyungsoo on the rooftop, the next day. Too early for him to be there, but late enough for all the lights outside – but the traffic light – to be turned off.
“what's wrong with you?”, Kyungsoo asked, before Sehun could come closer.
“i could ask you the same”, Sehun said. His words came sharp and cold, but his smile was as warm as always.
“what?”
“are you happy, Kyungsoo?”, Sehun came closer.
“stop asking that”, Kyungsoo looked away, frustrated.
“are you?”, Sehun got even closer, his bare hands touching Kyungsoo's cheek. His warm breath mixing with Kyungsoo's. His eyes straight on his.
“no.”, Kyungsoo whispered.
      Soon, Sehun's arms held him. He buried his face on the younger's shoulder and for a while, there was no darkness. No cold. No broken traffic light. No silence.
      No loneliness.
“I'm here, it's okay”, Sehun whispered, and Kyungsoo realized he was crying.
“Sehun”, Kyungsoo called.
“sometimes, venting it out is better than keeping it to yourself. When darkness comes and creeps it all, messes up with your life, that's when you need love. To make the pain go away.”, Sehun whispered, kissing the top of Kyungsoo's head.
“I'm sorry”, the brown haired boy whispered. He gazed at the taller boy, trembling.
“are you cold?”, Sehun asked, wiping Kyungsoo's tears with his thumb.
“no.”, Kyungsoo smiled, “not anymore”.
      Sehun leaned closer, kissing Kyungsoo's lips. They shared a fast, sweet, gentle kiss, in the dark. But it didn't feel like it. Kyungsoo never felt clearer, lighter. Kyungsoo smiled in between the kiss.
“stop keeping things to yourself.”, Sehun smiled, breaking their touch.
“i will.”
     They sat back on their spot, watching the street go red and green. Kyungsoo counted 3 seconds in between the changing of the colors that the broken traffic light had. Maybe more than three, maybe less. He, for the first time, wasn't really paying attention to it.
“Still stressed?”, Sehun asked, breaking the silence.
“a little”, Kyungsoo smiled.
“it's okay, it will go away”
“I know”, Kyungsoo smiled. And for the first time, he actually knew it would be okay.
      As long as he had Sehun by his side.


”Sometimes I wake up with a sadness, other days, it feels like madness, so, what would I do without you? When colors turn to shades of gray, with the weight of the world at the end of the day, oh, what would I do without you?”


 


Well uhm yeah, you know uhm- yeah.
that's for namulwie. You're the best writer ever and i just want you to feel happy. I want you to smile, ara?
you are better than Haruki Murakami and Edgar Allan Poe and- Tolkien, even though you'll kill me for saying that.
I love you.