♦Chapter 1♦

I smiled widely as I looked at my watch, knowing that the bell would ring soon. Just as i finished packing my bag, the bell rang as everyone cheers while they pack their stuffs.

" Be sure to study hard for the exam." Our professor said. 

I skipped happily out of the university, earning some attention. I was probably smiling like some idiot but who wouldn't? Heck, today's my first date with my (best) absolute perfect charming and handsome boyfriend, Zelo.

" Hayoung, here!" he shouted.

I run to him and hold his hand.

" Where are we going? " i asked.

" Today,we got schedule, so..."

I pouted before saying," well...since you're a idol, it just couldnt be helped."

He smile and say," i'm just too blessed to have you as my girlfriend. Lets go, i am introducing you to my hyungs."

We arrived at the dorm after spending 3 hours at the radio station. As soon as i stepped into the dorm, i saw the boys sitting there watching tv.

" Hyung !" Zelo shouted as he ran to a male in particular.

They turned their head around, while zelo stands beside a male.

" who is she ?" asked one of the males.

Zelo makes his way towards me and announced proudly," she is my girlfriend !"

I bowed and say," annyeonghaseyo,i'm hayoung."

They smiled slyly, nudging each other.

I decided to break the silence by saying," and i thought you guys have schedule ?"

Zelo say," we do but since my girlfriend had put up and starved for 3 hours, mind as well we have a meal before going to the schedule !"

Then i got dragged out of the dorm by Zelo.

" someone get me a bucket please." Daehyun pretended to vomit.

" shut up and go find a girlfriend if you are jealous." Himchan say savagely.

" as if i won't." Daehyun scoffed.

" come on, lets just stop fighting and get onto the van before we leave without you."

Youngjae nagged as they were fighting outside the car.

We then came to a famous ramyeon restaurant, Teumsae Ramyeon at Myeongdong. We saw BtoB there eating too. We sit down infront of them and as i was eating, i felt that i am being watched.

" zelo, i sense that someone is watching us...."

Zelo replied, mouth full," sillygirl, it'sjustyourhallucination."

So i ignored the feeling and continued eating. Zelo sent me home after the schedule. I dropped myself onto the bed, not wanting to move as i kept recalling what have happened in the resturant. Strangely after that day, i started feeling uneasy without Zelo around as though someone is stalking me.

After one month.....

I am walking home alone, again. It has been one month Zelo has ever walked me home or replied to my texts. Not that i am the type of girl who cling onto their boyfriend, but rather its like i'm back to single, without that sense of attachment anymore. Zelo must have been so busy. I felt the urge to find out whats wrong but Zelo never uttered a word about it, not even B.A.P.

My phone received a text suddenly. My eyes brightened up as i thought it was Zelo.

If you want to know what's happening that why Zelo is like this.Go to Mouse Rabbit Cafe now.

- Sungjae

I went there within 20 minutes since it was quite near. Upon reaching there, i saw Zelo with another girl which i hope it's just a hallucination or a normal friend. And as i walk closer, i spotted them being so intimate and close, the girl was basically sitting on his lap holding his hand.

I walk up to Zelo and said calmly," is this the reason why you are always busy ?"

Zelo looked up in surprise before pushing the girl away. I turned around and walked away. He grabbed me and said," Its not how it seems."

I pulled my hands away and smiled to the girl," thank you miss. I was just about to break up with him. Great to see someone who are willing to pick up my boyfriend, i mean, my ex afterall he's just another guy. Enjoy and have fun with my ex."

I walked off, with a broken heart but with pride. Never i am going to be those girls crying for explaination or slapping the other woman. Afterall, after being two timed, i just wanted to save the last bits of my pride.

I walked to the beach where we used to go when we dated. The place had now became part of the bittersweet memories which we shared. I'm too hurt to even cry out aloud, my feelings went cold. My heart was shattered into pieces, i couldnt bring myself to blame him. No matter how much i want to slap and to scream in his face, i couldn't. Suddenly, someone tapped me on my shoulder, i turned and saw Sungjae.

" why are you here and why are you telling me about him?"

" its a long story to begin with." He said, sitting down beside me under the shade.

" i got all day." I shrugged.

" alright, now a headup, what i'll be saying are all truths. No lies no secrets no motives."

" continue." I ushered.

He then explained," we used to be together until one day, we got into accident where you injured your head and had amnesia. I looked for you for one whole year until i met you that day. I had never given up my feeling for you...only to know that you had forgotten me..."

I felt sudden pain in my head and my eye sight dimmed, my hearing got blurry. Then the next thing i know wass that I woke up by a sharp pain in my stomach. I saw Sungjae and Zelo right in front of me, tied up. I was tied to a chair, with a really thick rope.

I tasted blood in my mouth as i shouted," why am i here?"

I struggled, over to find a small shattered glass and started to slowly cut the rope.

A male walked out from a corner, dressed in black, murmured as he walked towards them," why do you choose them over me ?"

He held out a gun and pointed it towards the two of them," you two dont deserve to be loved by her. Especially when you hurt her, even when she chose you over me."

Without hesitation, he opened fire. Not even sparing a thought, i quickly break loose and ran towards them. I pushed Sungjae aside and covered Zelo. Its hurts so much as the sharp foreign object went through me. I seemed to stop hearing things from surrounding, i saw a very bright light before i heard my own heartbeart.

*thump thump*

I couldn't breathe properly, the last thing i heard was Sungjae asking me to stay awake. Memories and images were played before my eyes, they flew pass like a film, everything went by very quickly. Soon, it became silence without no images, no flashback, nothing. It turned into a dark tunnel before i fell into deep slumber. After that, I woke up sleeping for a long time and saw a guy standing there.

I asked," where am i? Who are you ? Who am i ?"

The male exclaimed," you can't remember me ? I'm Sungjae! You're Hayoung. DOCTOR!"

Another guy appeared and stared at me.

I look at the guy who named Sungjae and asks," who is he?"

" I'm Zelo, choi junhong!" the guy said before the doctor called the both of them out.

" why couldnt i remember anything ?!" I tossed the pillows and everything i see in sight. The nurses tried to stop me but to no avail.

" she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and her injury also caused amnesia and aphasia." The doctor says.

" post-traumatic stress disorder, amnesia ?" I calmed down and listened to the doctor.

The doctor sighs," i've tried my best, miss hayoung."

I was hospitalised and transfered to a better ward where i could have a ward all for myself. After months in the hospital, i became closer to my doctor, Mr Kim, and started to interact with people in the hospital too. I would often sneak to the children wards and spend my day there, my condition started to turn better each day.

Recently, there was a new patient in the hospital, the nurses told me that the patient refused to eat, just like me at first.

" annyeonghaseyo. " I greeted as i walked into the new patient's room. He looked at me before throwing things towards my direction.

" GET LOST !" He shouted as he continued throwing things.

I almost had an attack but i kept my smile, before sitting at the chair placed right beside him," what's your name?"

" ten." he coldly replied.

" why are you here?" i asked.

" they said that soon or later, i can't see anymore and i needed a heart and cornea transplant. how about you? How long have you been here?"

" I got into an accident around 10 months ago, currently facing post-traumatic stress disorder, amnesia and depression. I've been staying here for 10 months and tried to kill myself before ?"

After the chat, we got more closer and i started to force him to eat. He told me that he was a debuting idol, in a group called NCT. After a few more months, we were released of the hospital at around the same timing. We lost contact until that day.

" Haeyoung?" A familiar voice says.

" Oh ,Mr Kim! I miss you so much !" i pulled the old man into a bear hug.

" keke, me too. Now let me introduce my son to you," he pulled a man out," this is my son-"

" ten ?!"I shouted as he looked up, jaw hanging.

" hi !" Ten smiles.

" so you guys met before and knew each other. I shall not bother you guys any longer ."

We walked to a cafe nearby.

" actually i want to tell you something."

" what?"

" i like you a lot !No , i mean i love you ."

" how do i reply this?" I rubbed my nape.

" will you be my girlfriend,  hayoung?" He asked.

" yes ! Now let's go for an ice cream. I've been craving for it."

" anything for my girlfriend." He beamed and put out his hand," may i?"

I put out my hands, into his warm and slender hand.

" let's go!" He tightened his grasp around my hands ," your hands are so tiny ."

He compared our hand sizes.

" nope, you got big hands."

" you got tiny hands."

" hmpf." i ended the arguement before smiling.

" hey ! Let's play scissors paper stone!" He suggested when we came before a long flight of stairs.

" no problem !"

" kai-bai-bo!" I kept on winning despite his whines. Soon, i got to the middle of the stairs. He sneaky and quickly ran up from the other side of the railings and kissed me when he stood before me.

" what?!" I grimaced.

He pouted," thats my first."

" first what?"

" first kiss! You are my first girlfriend !" he smiled like an idiot.

" geesh!" I made a face before playfully shoving him lightly.

" muah ,i love you too!" He made a kissing face.

" cheesy ." i murmured.

" but you like to eat cheese."

We dated for a few months , before we decided to go for a trip .

" remember ! Its the usual place at 7 pm sharp ! We're going to Jeju !" He shouted before he slammed my door close.

" arraseo." i replied before packing my luggage.

[6.50 pm]

I walk to the usual place - the park beside my apartment.

[7pm]

'the number you had dialed is not available at the moment.'

It had been the thirteen time i called him.

[9pm]

'The number you had dialed is-'

I puff out my cheeks in annoyance. Suddenly, water droplets started falling, some landed onto my face, some landed on my luggage as i walked to the bench, still waiting for him.

[11pm]

'The number you had dialed i-'

I decided to grab a drink from the Starbucks nearby.

[ red light]

[ green light]

I walked and dragged my luggage as i walked across the road.

[ crash]

I felt a large impact before being thrown to another side of the road, i saw pieces of scattered glass around me. Lying in a pool of blood, i saw the driver before i out. I felt that i was brought through a bright tunnel, before returning back to the scene and saw the blood from my chest has sweeped through my pullover and my skinny jeans. My luggage was all stained by my blood. My left leg is askew, the skin and muscle peeled away and i could see white streaks of bone. My eyes were closed ,my hair was wet and rusty with blood.

Paramedics and police came. Police sealed off the road, while paramedics were performing frantic ablutions over me and plugging my veins and giving me oxygen mask.

I followed the ambulance to the hospital, the one which i used to go. Mr Kim ran out, he had a major shock when he saw me .

" haeyoung." he whispered," hang on."

They pushed 'me' into the operation room ,they started to work as soon as i was being settled down. Mr Kim played a music which i never heard before.

" its without you, written by tem and his friends." He smiles before he opened up 'me'.

Suddenly, my blood pressure dropped, the opened up wound started to bleed a lot without stopping.

" nonono !" Mr Kim shouts," hang on, haeyoung, you cant give up. Ten needs you !"

Hes in trouble ?

I floated to his usual room and saw Ten ,sitting there, dazed and blanked out. I overheard two nurses's conversation.

Nurse 1 :" poor ten, so young yet this happened to him."

Nurse 2:" i know right, i heard that he's an idol. Cant believe his future is gone just because of his sight ."

" ten !" No matter how hard i tried, he still can't hear me.

I walk into Mr Kim's room.

' Mr Kim, 

it's haeyoung here, i want to donate my heart and eyes to ten. Please, this is the last thing i can do for him.

From Haeyoung .'

I placed the paper onto the operation desk, and signed the donor form.

Mr Kim saw the paper, " impossible."

He ran out to find the other doctors with the papers. I took another piece of paper and wrote another letter to Ten.

To my cutepie ten,

by the time you see this, i'm not be around anymore. Sorry that i couldn't made it for the trip. However, i hope you could use the eyes to see the world that i'm not able to see. Cherish each and every day. Always remember that i'll be always by your side, even without you knowing. Take care of yourself. Saranghaeyo

from your dearest girlfriend, Haeyoung

-

Ten open his eyes, realised that he could see again, that he felt more stronger than before.

" appa, has haeyounf visit me over the week?"

" no." he stuttered.

Ten look at his dad, requesting for a more convincing answer.

" she had something for you ." Mr Kim passed ten the note.

" where is haeyoung now? Please tell me." Ten cried and begged.

" come with me." Mr Kim murmured and pulled him to the morgue.

" appa -"

Mr Kim opened up the 3rd drawer, he pulled Hanbin to his side before he slowly open up the body bag .

Ten saw haeyoung there, with bruises and scars all over, eyes closed, just like she's in a deep sleep .

Ten broke down.

He remembered her big round eyes that used to look at him lovingly, 
her nose that she used to blow air to his neck when she backhugs him,
lips that she used to kiss him on his lips,
her warm hugs,
her aegyo,
her eyes ,nose, lips that used to touch him.

Love you,maybe it wasn't enough ,
maybe time and time,she've love him more than anything,
he wished that maybe they could met again,
as coincidence, as strangers ,
as everything became faint,
the way she used to smiled in the pictures,
unknowing of their coming farewell,
as the pictures slowly starts to fade,
memories became faint too.

Her tiny hands,
how perfect their hands fits together,
like the burning flame,
the love is still hot and passionate,
even without her presence.

She's not a memory to him,
but his first love,
his everlasting love and passion for her,
just like how much he liked music,
he wants to turn back the pages,
he didn't want all the fame or wealth now,
he wants her back,
but the useless money of his,
couldn't do anything about it.
 

Her eyes that only see him,
her warm heart which warm him up,
her heart which she hide all her pain,
also healed his wounds and pain,
but he couldn't heal hers,
the way she used to say,
saranghae.

Ten looked up, feeling the teperature rising up. He knew it was nothing to do with the weather, especially the blurry lights of seoul seen through the big drops of rain running the glass window of the bedroom had informed him about the big downpour outside. He wondered how things got to where they are now. He did gained fame and success of his latest solo like how everyone else are envious of. He was supposed to be happy about it, yet he missed her so much.

Ten indeed used her eyes to see the world, that she was never able to see. He went to countries and been on stage, with hundred of thousands fans in front of them.

" you're right. Time do change people ." He stood in front of her tomb.

" i changed into someone stronger. And how long has it been ?" 

Ten never failed to turn up every month, sharing about his new experiences and memories. For 10 years, he stayed at the same spot, hoping to meet her again.