Himchan looked at Yongguk's ring, then at Yongguk's face. As the ring bearer and the best man, he certainly did not feel that way. This was the worst he had ever felt, and if he had to put it in words, he’d probably just spit on the floor. If he could he would certainly take this ring and hurl it into the vast ocean. This bitter taste wasn’t going to go away for a long time, and he knew had to let Yongguk know - at least, even though he knew they couldn't be together, he wanted Yongguk to know how he felt all these years – happy, warm, excited, and empty. He couldn't face the next decade pretending to be happy every single time he saw their family. Having resentment for it not being his family. For not being to love his best friend and becoming more than that. For having a guilt towards them for feeling that way.

     Was it wrong? Why was it that everyone else in this entire world had the entitlement to feel whatever they wanted but he felt like he couldn’t?

      What kind of person would he be then, when all he could think was that at the altar, where the bride should be, was, “That should be me”?

     Yongguk was laughing, and grinning like a moron now, while staring into space. Himchan had seen that enthusiasm before. Meeting her. Going on shopping trips with her. Going on dates with her. Talking on the phone with her. Talking about her.

     Himchan couldn't understand it one bit. What did he see in that girl? She talks too much, doesn't have any specific talents, can't cook, laughs at everything. Come on, seriously. Yongguk's jokes aren't even funny. At all. He was a hundred percent sure that he had more looks, personality and talent in his fingernail than that girl too. Himchan sighed. He looked at Yongguk, guffawing at himself in a wedding tuxedo. That moron would never be this happy. Not with him.

     Himchan looked at Yongguk's ring again. He could feel his tears springing up, and his vision of the ring blurring. He took in a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. It didn’t matter if Yongguk judged him. It didn’t matter if he never wanted to see him again, right? He just needed Yongguk to know. He just... he just didn't want to have any regrets.

     "Bang... I- I…" His voice quivered. Yongguk turned to look at him in the eyes. The saying about how your eyes were windows to your soul; this was that moment Himchan truly believed it. The pain, fear and suspense mixed in together and made Himchan nauseous. Because he knew that maybe, this was the last time. The last time he could look at the one that he loved for his whole life in the eye before he let him go. Himchan smiled, his eyes blurred his image of Yongguk.

     "I love you. I just want you to know that I love you so, so much." 

     Yongguk looked taken aback. His eyes widened.

     They were a little different this time, his eyes, when he flashed his signature gum smile. He pulled Himchan into a strong embrace.

     "I know. I've known it all along. I love you too."