[CONTENTID2] [/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID1]

So go on, live your life

So go on, say goodbye – Hush Hush

The melodious laughter and cheers of the young children made Oh Sehun smile despite his incredibly terrible day. He had to smile anyway. He knew that just because he was suffering from a bad day, it doesn’t mean the children had to suffer too. Besides, which child has ever had a bad day anyway? It was one of the things Sehun missed about being a kid; being problem free.

Wearing the brightest smile he could muster, Sehun called for the children’s attention, knowing how it surprised their parents who are watching that his one call would get their attention so easily. The children were quiet for a second and when Sehun asked them to bid their parents goodbye, they do it happily, jumping and waving at their parents before following Sehun inside the childcare center, where they’ll be spending the rest of the day at.

The parents leave slowly, difficult to part from their children even though it wasn’t the first time. This is what happens when parents work and couldn’t take care of their own children, leaving them at a place and giving the responsibility to people like Sehun. He didn’t mind it one bit. He wanted to be able to care for these children the way he had wanted his parents to care for him. To think that once upon a time, sixteen years ago, he was one of these children, being sent to care center with his older brother because his parents were too busy working.

Now, he watches as his friend and colleague, Kyungsoo, lead the children to the play room, where they will be seated in groups and go through some fun activities the caretakers had planned for them while learning basic things at the same time. The kids were all too young to learn things like ABC anyway, so the caretakers opted to teaching them things like recognizing shapes and patterns. Kyungsoo and Sehun were in charge of children under five years old, and Sehun couldn’t be more grateful because as stubborn as they can be, they get tired easily. And when they’re tired, all he had to do was bring them to the nap room so they could take their hourly nap.

“Sehun oppa, I’m tired.” A girl Sehun had known to be named Sohee said as she tugged at Sehun’s sleeve, using her free hand to rub at her eyes.

Sehun smiled and took her in his arms before signaling Kyungsoo that nap time has come, which the latter responded with a nod before he started to call for the children keep the toys where they found them and head to the nap room. Sehun was already there, placing little Sohee on the mat, their temporary bed, and adjusting the small pillow underneath her head. She soon fell asleep just in time as the other children came in, all already accustomed to their daily activities, enough to recognize the mats and know that it was time to take a nap.

The children fell asleep five minutes after they settled on their mats, letting out adorable soft snores that made Sehun smile even wider. He joined Kyungsoo by the corner of the room, where the latter sat with phone in his hand, eyes focused on the screen. Sehun took a seat beside the older boy, taking out his own phone to check his reflection in the black screen. His blonde hair was just the way he had styled it in the morning before leaving the house. Satisfied, he smiled and nudged Kyungsoo by the arm.

“Chanyeol wants us to wait for him at the café. You got plans after work?” He asked the older but shorter of the two, who abandoned his phone inside the pocket of his apron.

“No plans, as always. Why can’t we just meet at home?” Kyungsoo asked, eyes travelling to the sleeping bodies of the children.

Sehun shrugged. “Seems urgent though. We should just go.”

Kyungsoo only nodded. Up until three months ago, Sehun lived with his parents and an older brother named LuHan. He thinks he would be living with them still if they had believed in him. It was the fact that his father wanted him to become someone he’s not, and his mother supporting her husband’s suggestion, that led to an incredibly unhappy Sehun. He had felt uncared for for a very long time. His parents never had time for him, and now they were expecting him to be someone he doesn’t want to be. It was too much to ask for, and he disobeyed, for the first time.

What ticked him off the most was what his father said just minutes before he stepped foot out of the house he had grown up in. You will never survive on your own, Sehun. His father had said, angry with a red face and his mother there pleading him not to go. Maybe he would’ve stayed for his mother, or even LuHan, but the words that left his father’s mouth rang in his head like siren and all he wanted to do was leave so he could prove to his family that he can survive, and he’ll survive alone and on his own. So he left the house and didn’t return.

It also hurt to know that his parents banned him from being friends with the one person who had approached and be there for him when he was alone, and all just because that person doesn’t have a family, no wealth and a slightly bad past. So when Sehun left the first person he called was Chanyeol, his best friend of eight years. Chanyeol owns an apartment he shares with Kyungsoo, and Sehun was thankful that he was offered to live with them. He was determined though to get his own apartment someday, just to prove to his father than he could survive alone.

Rebelling was fun and Sehun found himself happier than he was before, caged in good family reputation, having to impress everyone his father wanted him to impress. Being free made him braver, and dying of his hair was just in favor. He dyed his once brown hair to bright blonde, leaving some black underneath. He liked that it made him look more mature and well, free.

Soon his shift ended along with Kyungsoo’s. Galaxy Childcare Centre doesn’t close until eight at night, but Sehun only works until six in the evening, giving him plenty of time to spend at home finding an even more proper job online. Chanyeol says he might as well just continue as a child caretaker, but Sehun couldn’t see how he’s going to succeed with that career. Now, the tall, blonde boy walks alongside his older friend towards the café just a few shops away from their work place, where their friend Chanyeol works as a busboy.

Chanyeol was cleaning up a table when they arrived, greeting them with a nod of his head and a slightly nervous smile. Sehun’s brow arched at his friend’s weird behavior; he knows how Chanyeol is never nervous and in the rare times that he is, he was good at masking it with a rather cheerful grin. Sehun looked around the café to see if his parents were there, since there was a big possibility that his parents might come barging to ask Chanyeol stupid stuff.

Seeing that there were signs of them around, Sehun shrugged it off and took a seat opposite Kyungsoo, who was frowning at his phone. “What did the phone do to you, hyung? No need to look at it like that.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and shook his head, slipping his phone in his jeans pocket. “It’s my brother. Being an again and creating trouble wherever he goes.”

Sehun smiled at this, knowing Kyungsoo’s brother, Kai, quite well. Kai was as old as Sehun is; only that perfectly tanned boy gets to go to college and Sehun is stuck here as a child caretaker just because he couldn’t agree with his father. Sometimes the regret surfaces, but it goes away just as quickly as it had come. Sehun watches as Chanyeol finally walks over to them, his black hair spiked up neatly on his head, an apron wrapped around his waist. Sehun smiled when he locked eyes with the older male, but Chanyeol’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What’s up, hyung?” Sehun asked, worried now about his friend and brother.

Chanyeol flopped down onto the empty seat next to Sehun. “He’s here.”

“Who?” Kyungsoo frowned, looking around them to which Chanyeol frantically asked him to stop before the ‘he’ he was referring to notice.

“I think I have a crush on him.” Chanyeol admitted, not a sprinkle of shyness in his voice.

Sehun tried to recall all of their conversations, hoping to come across one where Chanyeol mentions about being gay. He couldn’t remember any. He looked at his friend beside him, forehead etched in a frown, watching Chanyeol closely. But instead of questioning why the older never mentioned it before, he asked, “Which one?”

Chanyeol’s eyes averted and Sehun and Kyungsoo followed his gaze, to the other corner of the café, where a tall, dirty blonde-haired man sat with a book abandoned on the table as he enjoyed his coffee. A soft sigh left Chanyeol’s lips and Sehun turned to look at his love-struck friend.

“Okay, what’s his name?” Sehun asked, the beginning of a teasing smile on his lips.

Chanyeol’s lips parted to say something, but then his eyes widened. “I don’t know his name.”

That’s a first. Since when does Chanyeol get shy around strangers? “Hyung, I thought you would’ve asked him by now.”

The taller male only sighed in defeat, slumping his body against the chair. “He’s been coming here for the last few weeks. He comes every Thursday and Friday. And I can’t believe I never asked his name!”

“Well, ask the next time he comes and orders something.” Kyungsoo suggested.

Chanyeol shook his head. “He only looks for Ji Hyo noona. He’s her customer, you know? He likes her coffee best.”

“What’s the difference? You can still ask him.” Sehun said, frowning at how odd his friend is behaving right now.

Just then Ji Hyo walks in the café, followed by a taller male with black hair and a pair of glasses. Sehun greeted Ji Hyo, since he knows her from his constant visits here and Chanyeol talks about her all the time (which led him into thinking Chanyeol liked her but he guessed not). Chanyeol quickly explained to Sehun that Jo Hyo took the night shift today and the one who had made coffee for his crush was another one of his colleagues. Sehun only nodded at this unnecessary information before he watched his friend cheerfully greeted the other tall male who had come with Ji Hyo. The man grinned and embraced Chanyeol in a quick hug.

“SeungHyun sunbae, where the hell have you been?” Chanyeol was asking, and Sehun couldn’t understand why he had used the formality when he wanted to use the word hell in the same sentence anyway.

SeungHyun has a much deeper, manlier voice than Chanyeol, Sehun could tell from the way he said hi, yet when he spoke; it was so soft only Chanyeol could hear. Sehun broke away from staring at the two and turned just slightly to look at the guy his friend was crushing on. The tall male made a face every time he sipped on his coffee, clearly not liking it and Sehun guessed it must be because it wasn’t Ji Hyo who made it. Kyungsoo continued to text angrily into his phone, and as Chanyeol prepared to leave work, Sehun could only think about how his friend was so confident, not hesitating his true feelings that was supposed to be rather embarrassing.

“Hyung, you never told me you liked guys.” Sehun was saying as he took a seat beside Chanyeol on the couch in the living room of their shared apartment.

They had gone straight home once Chanyeol finally bid goodbye to both Ji Hyo and SeungHyun, and Sehun had seen the way his friend quietly and secretly waved at his boy crush, who was busy flirting up Ji Hyo. Now, Chanyeol was sprawled on the couch lazily, fingers pressing on random buttons of the remote control and not looking at Sehun when the younger sat beside him.

“Should I? Is there a problem with it, though?”

Sehun, realizing that his question came out insulting, fiercely shook his head. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I thought you would tell me when it comes to this kind of things.”

Chanyeol gave him a toothy grin, sitting up straight before placing an arm on the headrest just above Sehun’s shoulders. “You’re right. I should’ve told you. But I just thought you’re a little too young to accept it. To accept me.”

Sehun rolled his eyes before his face goes expressionless once again. “I’m turning twenty-one in two months, hyung. I’m already legal a long time ago.”

The older laughed, ruffling Sehun’s hair and messing it up, which the latter responded with a scowl. “What about you? Do you like guys?”

Sehun was stunned at the question thrown upon him. He squeezed his brows together in thought, not wanting to answer it incorrectly. Does he like guys? He’s never liked any guys that way before. Does he like girls? Well, he’s had a couple of crushes in high school and Ji Hyo noona doesn’t look so bad, but to think of it, he’s never liked them enough to ask them out. Maybe because his father’s words kept ringing in his head. You’ll never survive on your own. He certainly does not need any girl or guy to have feelings for right now.

“I don’t know. I guessed if I do, it’ll be a little hard to adjust to it.” He finally said, and Chanyeol only nodded and patted Sehun’s cheek.

“It’s not wrong if you do, I’m just saying. People make it sound so ing wrong, though, and you shouldn’t let them tell you what to believe.”

Sehun looked at his feet as he registered what Chanyeol was saying. The taller lets out a deep breath before standing up and bidding Sehun goodnight. Sehun fell asleep on the couch last night, and when he woke up the next day, he found his blanket covering him up, silently thanking whichever of his hyungs who had placed it there. [/CONTENTID1]