I eyed our cold room, thoughts flooding my spinning head, the ice clinked as I rotated my glass. I turned my head and saw the frame that held our smiling faces together. Funny, I thought. You said we will be together forever and nothing will keep us apart. You promised it when we were young. I guess you forgot about it.

~~~Flashback~~~

Kwanghee   you called me to your side, tears flowing since you will leave me alone

Siwannie~~ don’t leave me pweease… I don’t have any friends besides you here…  I told you

I can’t Wangie… My dad is transferred to another place so we have to go there…  you just said hugging me.

b-b-but… can’t you just stay? You could live with me in our house we could share a room…  I said tears flowing nonstop.

I would love to Wangie… but dad wants me there. Please… you have to understand okay? And I promise you when we meet again we will be together forever and nothing will keep us apart. 

You promised… a promise I blindly clung into…

~~~End of Flashback~~~

            I stood up, went to the living room, and saw our first “GROUP” picture – the first picture taken when we as trainees were introduced to each other. I recognized you right then but I kept it to myself. You haven’t changed since that day, still the sweet Siwan I know of. I desperately wanted to hug you and tell you myself but I held it back because I wanted it as a surprise since you probably wouldn’t recognize me.

~~~Flashback~~~

Okay boys line up…   the president told us. I stared at you at the mirror on his back with you not noticing as you were serious as a soldier getting a scolding from his commander.

Congratulations! You passed the auditions and you will start your trainee life as members of a new idol group with the name of Jegug-ui aideul or ZE:A. Well you better introduce yourself to each other now.

I saw you fidgeting nervously as you were the first to talk.  I’m Siwan… Please take care of me.  You nervously said and bowed. I couldn’t hear the others since I’m nervous what you would think when you know it’s me. The suspense was killing me as each member got their introductions with me introducing myself last.

Hello! My name is Heechul… nice to meet you. The guy with a deep voice beside me finished. Then I felt all eyes turn on me as I realized it’s my turn to speak. I cleared my throat…

Hi! My name is Kwanghee! I hope we could be good friends!  I said with my hyper tone as I saw you with your mouth open. Shock evident on your face.

~~~End of Flashback~~~

            I went back to our room and checked inside the closet. In a special hidden box, I put all the presents, letters and random stuffs you gave me. At first it was special. It was filled with the sweetness you have. But I guess times change and people change just like you.

~~~Flashback~~~

1^st letter

            Wangie! We just arrived in our place and it’s great! There are lots of parks and school is nearby. There’s also a lot of ice cream shop and I like it you were here with me. I miss you!   you continued bragging about your place wishing I was there with you.

5^th letter

            Wangie! I missed you! Hope you’re doing okay. School is hectic lots of homework and projects to be done. I already have new friends, I hope you do too. Don’t worry I’m fine. Be strong okay?

Last letter

            Wangie… are you okay? This might be my last letter to you. I’m sorry if I haven’t sent you a letter for 2 years but I was preoccupied with my studies. I was accepted as a trainee in a entertainment company. Don’t worry, if I became famous I’ll always greet you on tv kay?

            I know pabo… guess you didn’t read my last letter… were on the same company idiot… I helped you get picked since I was close with the jury as I was already a trainee for 3 years. I cried hugging the last letter in a pink envelope.

~~~End of Flashback~~~

            I felt weak as my knees start to buckle; the memories keep coming back as I tried to hold back the tears. I covered my face as tears flowed uncontrollably, a tear dropped on my ring – OUR RING. I thought it was the symbol of our relationship “FRIENDSHIP”. They too thought it like that but I thought differently.

 ~~~Flashback~~~

            Wangie!  You called me as you back hugged me…

            What is it Siwannie?  I asked looking at your face resting on my shoulder

            Surprise!  As you held a velvet box and opened it. It held two silver rings.

            Omo! You remembered our promise!  I said as I took the rings and put it on you and me

            Errr… yeah ahehehe   You sounded unsure but I shrugged it as I was blinded by happiness.

            Never have I imagined you really forgot about it.

~~~End of Flashback~~~

            I thought I could make you remember so I gave it my all. But my efforts were all in vain, right? I stood and hid the box again and eyed the pictures of you on the laptop screen. They were all with that woman. I could take it if you forgot, but you having a relationship with her, with me and the world knowing last I cannot even imagine what I should do. I tried to get your attention so I began avoiding you, even tried to bury my feelings for you - the sadness masked by a facade of happiness. But you never noticed the change. You just thought I was tired and all. That means you are choosing her over me right? Well I guess I expected it from you. I eyed the smalle frame with our latest picture. In the back of it I put a pink envelope – my last letter for you. I wrote all the feelings I have for you that cannot reach you in it. Silly that they have called me the "HONEST IDOL" but telling you that I love you I can't bear to tell. My way to finally say it to you I have it all planned. I smiled as I reached for the bottle that held the sleeping pills. I ate all the pills inside it and hid the bottle again. I went to the side of my bed near the wall and faced it so you will think I was just sleeping. I cannot take it anymore Siwannie. You’re just giving me false hope with the sweetness you are giving me. I want to say goodbye but I leave it for you when you wake me up. Ahhh… I could feel it…  I’m becoming your sleeping beauty… a different sleeping beauty which was

Lifeless…

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