Chapter 2 : His Regret

Jong Suk crumbles the invitation in his fist. This isn’t what he wanted. The thought of him disappearing from his life forever, belonging to some random girl, the thought of never being able to feel his touch again wrenches his heart. It rips away his feelings, shreds his heart into pieces. He hurls the crumbled paper at the wall; it bounces off and lands near his feet as if a reminder that just throwing this away will not change a single thing. 

He jerks to his feet, grabs his jacket and dashes out of the room. He slips into a pair of black trainers and snatches his car key from the bowl by the door.

It has been two years since he last saw Hyun-Joong, well perhaps not that long since he has seen a glimpse of the handsome man every here and there in magazines and newspapers. But it has been two years since he last saw him in flesh and blood, the last time before he turned into this heartless dark person. Jong Suk steps on the gas, cutting through the busy lanes of Seoul as he speeds into the city. Hyun-Joong has tried to contact him, he has certainly tried, but it was Jong Suk who avoided him. He even moved out of his first apartment when Hyun-Joong had discovered him. He doesn’t know what had taken over his silly mind at that time; he can’t even remember why he had run away from Hyun-Joong at that time. But his Hyun-Joong was no longer there, now there is a cold hearted model-turned-celebrity known as Kim Woo Bin who is about to get married to a called Lee Ji-Ahn. But that didn’t matter to Jong Suk. What mattered was that he was about to lose the love of his life that he was too blind to realise he was missing.

Jong Suk speeds past a red light, his heart racing at the same speed as his car. What if he is late? What if he is refused? What if… “ARGH!!!” his fist slams on the steering wheel as he screeches to a halt at a crossing.   

He digs his pocket for his phone and dials number one. The number you have called is temporarily unavailable. Jong Suk screams and slams the phone on the passenger seat; it bounces off and crashes onto the car floor. Why was he too late to realise? Why now? Why after two years? He thought he didn’t mind…he thought he could breathe fine without Hyun-Joong in his life…he thought…

Jong Suk jabs his feet on the breaks when he reaches SidusHQ parking lot. He jumps out of his car, slams the door shut, without even bothering to pull the key out, and hurries up to the elevator. He paces around the empty elevator, nibbling on his nails until it reaches the top floor. What if it is already finished? He feels his heart lurch at the horrible thought. He yanks the slow door open once at the top and darts out into the rooftop garden. He scans the surrounding; it is filled with people and among them are some familiar faces, but not the one he is searching for.

“Jong-Suk-ah…you are here?” Hyoyeon bounces toward him with a bright beam on her face that somehow for the first time irritates him. He brushes her off his path and heads toward the end of the garden where he spots a tall man in a black tuxedo; the broad shoulders and the wide back that matches his tall figure is still the same as he remembers it from two years ago. Seeing that familiar back ignites a deep fire within Jong Suk’s heart; he takes a step forward but freezes when a slender girl in a beautiful white dress steps up to that tall man. He watches as the woman wraps her arms possessively around his and leans into whisper something to him. Hyun-Joong turns to the girl and smiles—Jong-Suk’s heart stops when he sees that bright gleam on his face. It is the same smile that once belonged to Jong Suk. It is the same smile that once warmed its way into Jong Suk’s with first rays of their love. After two long years he can see it again, but this time it is no longer directed at Jong Suk. It no longer belongs to Jong Suk but that girl beside him. His eyes twitch with a stabbing pain and all the ache that has been piling up deep in his heart starts to surf through his eyes.  

He can see the blurred form of Hyun-Joong turning around to catch Jong Suk’s gaze. Their eyes meet for a single second that seems eternal. A single tear breaks free and rolls down Jong Suk’s cheek. He turns on his heels ready to storm out. That place beside Hyun-Joong does not belong to him anymore. Hyun-Joong has found his love. He has forgotten Jong Suk and moved on. He is able to smile again even when Jong Suk is not next to him. Well, what did he expect he wonders. He was the one who moved on and disappeared from his life first. Jong Suk wipes away the tears as he steps toward the exit; his head bent down to ignore the stares directed at him.

A firm grip around his wrist halts him on his feet. It feels warm and somehow way too familiar.

“Are you running away again?” that husky voice wrenches his heart. Now that he can hear it again, he realises how much he has missed this voice. He can feel his tears renewing.

“Jong-Sukie…” the sweet voice whispers. “Won’t you look at me… my Sukie…”

Jong Suk’s heart stops. How could he live two years without hearing this voice…this affectionate call of his name?

The grip on his hand tightens and it swings him around. Jong Suk blinks away the tears blurring the close image of his love. He gazes at the authentic eyes smiling at him.

“H—Hyun…Joong-ah…” he murmurs.

Hyun-Joong’s arm wraps around Jong Suk’s waist and pulls him closer to his chest. His free hand guides Jong Suk’s chin up, lining those trembling lips closer to his. His hot breaths wafts on Jong Suk’s face sending wave after wave of shudders. It has been too long, too long that the slightest touch from Hyun-Joong makes him go crazy. Jong Suk feels all the thoughts vanishing from his mind when his scent, the same scent he knew from two years ago, takes over his senses.

Hyun-Joong’s eyes fall on Jong Suk’s quivering lips and back to those doe orbs. He smiles and leans in closing the tiny distance left between their lips. The moment that familiar softness brushes slightly against his lips, Jong Suk loses all his sanity. He reaches up and wraps his arms around Hyun-Joong’s neck, pulling him closer, clashing their lips hungrily. He moans when Hyun-Joong bites his bottom lip. He can taste the metallic tang of blood mixing with Hyun-Joong’s wet tongue as it slides its way into Jong Suk’s mouth. He shivers when Hyun-Joong traces every inch of his mouth with such intensity as if he had been waiting far too long for this kiss.

It is desperate. Hungry. And needed.

It isn’t long before Jong-Suk is whimpering and shivering into the kiss. It has been too long. He has missed his taste so much that it is driving him crazy now.

Jong-Suk doesn’t know how long they kissed. Every time Hyun-Joong pulled away for him to breathe, Jong Suk would pull him back, wondering why he needed air anyways. When finally his lungs are screaming for him to take a breath, Jong-Suk has to let him go, but Hyun-Joong’s lips never left Jong Suk’s. He gives just enough space for Jong Suk to catch his breath while he and nibbles on those slightly swollen plum lips.

Jong Suk clutches desperately onto Hyun-Joong, his knees giving away as his groin pulsates with waves of passionate heat at each touch Hyun-Joong showers him with. He leans his head onto the crook of Hyun-Joong’s neck and breathes in his scent that he has missed so much. His touches are still the same. They still send those waves of electricity down his spine, they still has that warmth he has always longed for. He doesn’t know how he could ever think that his touches were no longer needed.

“I missed you…I…Hyun-Joong-ah….” He sobs. “I…Love you.” Hyun-Joong’s face splits into a smile. He pushes Jong Suk away; just enough to capture his lips into a deep kiss as they both smiles against their lips. They break away for a moment and Jong Suk looks into those authentic eyes, the eyes that hold passionate love.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” his whispers hold pain. What if Hyun-Joong doesn’t love him anymore…what if—

“Pabo…” Hyun-Joong chuckles, brushing away the tears staining down Jong Suk’s cheek. He leans down and places a soft peck on the tip of Jong Suk’s nose.

“I have always loved you…only you.”

Jong Suk smiles as he sinks into Hyun-Joong’s arms. But it doesn’t last long; a girl in a white dress yanks Hyun-Joong off his grasp.

“What are you two doing?” she hisses as she eyes around them. That’s when Jong Suk realises all the eyes are staring at them, jaws hanging low from pure surprise. Jong Suk’s ears turn blood red, his cheeks burn shyly.

Hyun-Joong grins as he intertwines their fingers together.

“Let’s get out of here,” he whispers and starts dragging Jong Suk behind him. Their slow steps turn into a sprint as they run away from the wondrous gazes glued on them. They both giggle as the wind brushes past the sprinting bodies.