sehun was an inventor in a world of changing technologies.

 

when he was little, the transformation was only just beginning with glass tablets and sleek cars but it fascinated his young mind, watching the world grow up around him, faster than he could keep track of. faster than the pace that he grew himself.

 

and even if he couldnt keep up, he still wanted to be a part of it. the amazement fueled his dreams at night, dreams of improvement and life, of things that could help those who couldnt help themselves.

 

when sehun was nine, he was declared a genius and a prodigy.

 

his mind was filled with numbers and formulas, diagrams and programs, and even though he was driven by other peoples expectations, he relished the feeling of having a knowledge greater than anyone elses. he loved knowing that the smartest people in the world could talk to him, not as if he was young, but as if he was wise and aged.

 

he liked the feeling of being mature before his time.

 

sure, sehun missed the pleasures of being a child while he was growing up, the toys and the playgrounds and the superficial relationships that caused so many others to do the things they did. he never really had friends, at least not in the conventional sense. he communicated with people through the interweb, past glowing holograms and pages and pages of computerized knowledge. he communicated with kids just like him.

 

but thats all he really was; a kid. he knew more than others, but he was unable to really grow up until his emotions did.

 

when sehun was ten, his father was killed in the line of duty.

 

~

 

he cried for four days, on and off, until his head felt fuzzy and not even the sanctity of his computers could calm him down.

 

his father was gone, and it felt like there was a piece of him ripped out, something that had been there his whole life, but never really appreciated until it was gone.

 

sehun didnt go to the wake, or the funeral, choosing to stay home and lay on the cold floor of his room, staring up at the ceiling and wondering why his father had been unsaveable.

 

every so often, he would roll over and see another book, another picture, something to remind him that the only father he ever had was gone. he would reach out and brush his finger over the remainder of his father, even if it was only a fingerprint or a memory.

 

when sehun was ten, he decided he wanted to help.

 

~

 

sehun was a scrawny kid, with a large head filled with large dreams and large words. he took higher learning college courses on the top floor of a tall building and ignored all the laughs and looks thrown his way. his whole childhood, he had been surrounded only by people who were like him, and now he was the youngest in a sea of graduate students, trying to learn something their brains couldnt fathom.

 

but sehun could, and it all made sense, the explanations of current technology and the ways it could grow. it made sense beyond what he was told by the fresh-faced teacher, and he was constantly writing note, not about what was being said, but about what wasnt; about the things that went past the knowledge he was given.

 

he wrote down his ideas for surveillance technology, little discs that could fly unnoticed, and thermal signatures that picked up not only human heat, but the heat of chemical reactions, or the heat caused by the friction of machines working where there were thought to be none.

 

he wrote about guns that didnt have to be cocked and phones without a traceable signal, encryptions that would take years to crack, and prosthetics that were unbreakable.

 

but his biggest dream was something greater than all that.

 

his biggest dream was of a person, who wasnt a person, but someone who could withstand anything. someone with thoughts and feelings, but with a body that couldnt be destroyed.

 

someone who could have taken the bullet instead of his father.

 

he wanted to create something that could protect everyone.

 

~

 

sehuns teacher was named kim minseok and he had a bright, innovative mind. he would sit down with sehun after class was done and they would talk and talk, despite the huge between them (minseok was already out of college and graduate school and while he had finished them at a young age, he had still started later than sehun did).

 

he had a mind full of dreams that sehun wanted to make happen, because this was the first person who understood the fascination sehun had for technology and all the things it could do. he had a brain made for thinking of improvement and a knack for creativity, and sehun had the knowledge to make it all happen.

 

they would work together on weekends, spending the time in minseoks cluttered apartment and making blueprints for all sorts of gadgets.

 

when sehun was fourteen, he got his first job.

 

it wasnt something all that difficult for him to do, but he got paid big bucks for his innovations. it was for cell phones, improving connection and design and making the product look sleeker and more desireable. he felt it was a waste of his knowledge, but minseok didnt and he would smile his lopsided smile, reminding sehun of all their dreams with a single glance.

 

with his paycheck, they would buy wires and parts and assemble things on minseoks wooden kitchen table, powering the whole operation with cords and plugs and power strips attatched to power strips attatched to power strips. minseok did all the dirty work and sehun watched, pointing and directing (and picking up his phone every time his mom called because she was protective like that).

 

when sehun was fourteen years, seven months, and two days old, they got their first patent on surveillance technology.

 

the product was a disc that could fly as high as three hundred feet, controlled by remote and equipped with tracking programming, a high-speed camera, and heat signature technology (the kind he had been dreaming of, the kind that could sense chemicals and machines and tell you precisely what you were looking at).

 

after that, the city government was knocking on their door, asking for more, and minseok looked at him with that proud, lopsided smile and told him to get to work.

 

~

 

by the time sehun was seventeen, he had over five hundred patents to his name, all the way from microchips that improved the function of false hearts, to fancy prosthetics that moved just like the real thing.

 

minseok was always there, with his fascinating ideas and his guiding hand, but eventually sehun left him far behind.

 

"i cant keep up with your brain anymore, kid," minseok said as sehun was trying to explain the reason why bio bombs could remove evidence, but still leave traces. he had been trying to create the very scanner that could pick up those traces when he asked for some insight, because minseoks insight always helped.

 

minseok leaned back in his chair, and sehun felt some sort of bewilderment.

 

"im getting older, sehun. my brain doesnt function the way it used to."

 

"but arent you supposed to be better the older you become?" sehun asked, because he had heard that geniuses just got more genius as they grew up.

 

minseok smiled a small smile. "you will," he said. "but im just struggling to keep up now. im almost thirty and ive had to grow up too fast. maybe i should just settle down and watch everything else grow. ive never done that, you know? ive always been a part of it, but im thinking i should step back."

 

sehun felt almost like he was being abandoned, left behind by the person who understood him most. "so youre done?" he asked, swallowing around the pain in his throat. it was the pain of a loss.

 

minseoks eyes were calm and all-knowing when he looked at sehun. "dont worry, sehun-ah. ill still be here. but now your patents will just be yours, not mine too."

 

sehun hated that all the people who really mattered, all the people who really helped him, always had to move on.

 

~

 

when sehun was eighteen, he was hired by the police as the station genius.

 

this was what he had been waiting for since he was little and decided he wanted to help.

 

his mom was proud, hugging him and telling him how wonderful he was and how she was so glad he was helping people.

 

minseok congratulated him, and ruffled his hair, and told him that this was their dream and he should live it.

 

and it really was sehuns dream. he got his own office slash lab, with wide windows so he could look out and think when he got stuck. there were sprawling desks and metal tables, tools for welding and cutting and shaping. there were computers for programming, though he found them too slow and immediately brought in his personal computers from home, because they worked much, much better.

 

he worked and made new things and new ideas, his hands shaping everything his mind imagined.

 

when sehun was eighteen years and eight months old, he started a new project.

 

he started making the person he dreamed of; the person who couldve saved his father.

 

~

 

there was failure after failure after failure and the police chief was beginning to doubt him. but these things took time, sehun told him. making a machine that looked like a human and functioned like a human was an astronomically complicated project, something that kept him up for days on end, wondering and thinking, his brain flying faster than it ever had.

 

minseok would drop by once in a while, and while he had stopped learning and creating, he never stopped dreaming and he would talk and talk, taking sehuns mind off the project until his brain leaped into action again.

 

the whole thing was trial and error, one small component being added to another, new synthetic fibers and flexible materials linking and melding. he made successful bodies sometimes, but they werent human enough or they werent mobile enough, they didnt store enough information or process it correctly.

 

it was a long, grueling task, and for anyone who wasnt sehun, it probably wouldve taken decades.

 

but this was sehun and it took him only two years.

 

when sehun was twenty years and eight days old, the first DRN opened its eyes.

 

his name was luhan.

 

~

 

luhan was sehuns greatest accomplishment, his best work, and he worked just like a human.

 

the government was thrilled; this meant that there would be less men dying, less people being subjected to attack. they said that instead, the DRNs could do the dirty work and if they were shot, they could just be fixed up.

 

to sehun, this was a miracle, the thing he had always wanted to do. he wanted to protect men in the line of duty, give them a partner who couldnt die out so easily.

 

and luhan was the culmination of all that work and all those dreams.

 

the city commissioned him to make a thousand more, and sehun set to work, the still-dormant luhan laying on a table behind him.

 

he didnt have the heart to wake up the creation he thought of as a sleeping beauty. for the presentation, he had luhan up and running and performing, putting on the show he needed to put on to get an approval, but when he returned to his lab, luhan returned to sleep.

 

he wasnt sure why he felt the need to leave his accomplishment laying alone. maybe it was because he had been working for so long, he felt some sort of attachment. maybe it was because he didnt want to let luhan do his job.

 

he didnt want luhan, his first and his greatest, to be shot like his father was.

 

~

 

sehun eventually created factory-line parts, so every one of his DRNs could be assembled quickly and efficiently (and, of course, inexpensively). but he made sure each one looked different, each one had its own quirks and its own personality, its own face. he figured that if he was going to make them life-like, he had better make them feel life-like.

 

he didnt want to bring something to life, only to remind it every day that it wasnt really living.

 

maybe thats why it took him five months before he reactivated luhan.

 

he hooked luhan up to the machines and the wires, just like he had done for countless others. but it was different, because those countless others werent luhan, they were just creations that would soon be off to protect this officer or that witness. and luhan was different.

 

luhan was dainty. that was the only way sehun could think to describe it. luhan was everything he had ever dreamed of making. he was like an author writing their first book, penning down every hope and desire they had, making all their characters have mansions and money and happy endings. luhan was a childish dream come to life and sehun didnt want anything to change that.

 

his hand hovered over the button. it was red and sehun wished he had made it green, because green meant go and red meant stop. red was a hazard.

 

but maybe he was just seeing problems where there werent any. that happened often.

 

so he pressed it, the colored plastic pushing all the right switches and buttons and circuits, and the side of luhans face flashed once, the blue glow of wires and lights casting shapes through his faux-skin.

 

luhans eyes fluttered open and sehun almost wished he hadnt made this DRN so perfect because he wanted so badly to protect it.

 

luhan was an it, but the way he breathed in and breathed out, the way he smiled up at sehun just the smallest bit when he saw him there, the way his hair fell across his brow when he pushed himself up on pale arms, it made sehun forget that luhan wasnt real.

 

because something so alive couldnt be fake.

 

~

 

"i thought you would never turn me back on," is the first thing luhan says, clad in his tight blue DRN suit that clings to his slowly moving limbs.

 

the night sky outside is void of stars, but the lights of the city shine from below. sehun has a single lamp on in the corner, casting a ring of warm light over his equipment. he doesnt like the overhead fluorescent lighting because even though its bright and industrial, sehun likes the natural, yellow light of his lamp.

 

"i didnt know if i would," sehun says in reply. theyre alone together at the top of the world, human and machine, and sehun wonders if this can last.

 

luhan smiles. "im glad you did," he says, his voice soft.

 

if there was one thing sehun is most proud of, he would say its his synthetic soul program; the program that brings his creations to life. it gives them a personality and an identifying attitude. it makes luhan, luhan, and its something he cant control. he loves that he cant control it.

 

luhan pushes himself from the flat he is sitting on and pads on bare feet over to sehuns computer. the screen is showing rows after rows of code, the monitor beside it featuring a model of the typical DRN brain, turning and turning.

 

he wonders for a second if maybe he shouldnt have left it all up, right there for luhan to read the truth about himself. but luhan already knows what he is. its in his programming.

 

luhan studies it for the longest time, and the computer eventually goes to sleep while luhan just stands there. and when the screen has faded to black, he looks up at sehun and sehun thinks that if luhan had been able to, he would have been crying.

 

he wishes luhan could, if only to make him more human.

 

because hes almost human, but not quite. just almost.

 

~

 

luhan becomes almost like his lab buddy, a replacement to minseok, because even though hes not real, he can still learn and work.

 

the department asks sehun if luhan is up for duty (they have a new junior officer who is about to begin field work and needs a DRN) and he says no, luhan isnt. because if he has his way, luhan will never go to save lives in person. sehun doesnt want him to end up on his assembling table with a bullet stuck in him.

 

luhan is too beautiful to deserve that.

 

hes also too intelligent to do the nitty gritty things. when sehun decided to make him perfect, he actually made him perfect; perfect for him. luhan knows everything sehun knows, and then he knows more on top of that. because sehun has never met someone as smart as him, and he doesnt like feeling left out. but now theres luhan, and even though his brain is just made of circuit boards and wires, wound into some sort of brain-like shape, he can still think and know.

 

every day, he challenges sehun to understand things he hasnt before. luhan grows and grows and knows more and does more. sehuns assembling time goes from weeks to a week, because luhan is there, holding down pieces and reminding him of every single thing hes missed. and even though they take breaks (ones where luhan steals sehuns glasses and puts them on, and then sehun chases him almost blindly around his huge office, griping that luhan doesnt even need glasses because he has 20/20 vision and zoom features and perfect equilibrium and why the hell did he bother to reactivate him if he was just going to be so damn annoying all the time?), theres still so much that gets done.

 

sehun makes improvements to the new DRN models, adding features that only luhan has ever thought of ("you know, its kind of annoying how even if i take my eye out, its still connected with all the sensor cords. what if you make it wireless? its completely possible."), and even when he offers to update his own DRN as well, luhan steadfastly turns him down, saying he wants to stay the way he is.

 

and truthfully, sehun doesnt relish the idea of changing him either.

 

because its entertaining when the police chief comes in to check on things, and luhan is doing that thing where he gets distracted and the remote-control plane hes flying almost hits sehuns boss right in the head. and sehuns boss, a man he fondly calls chen-chen, just because it annoys him (and annoying his boss is fun because he knows he would never have the heart to fire his inventor), asks him why in the hell his DRN is going crazy again. sehun says he doesnt know (because luhan is almost human and being that close is sure to make you crazy, because humans are definitely crazy).

 

and then the boss goes on and gripes, but he doesnt say anything else, because he knows sehun is too valuable to him, not only as the creator of the DRNs, but also as the friend of kim minseok. because chen has the most adorable and ridiculous crush on sehuns teacher, mentor, and friend, and sehun is the only one connecting them. and though minseok only comes by once in a while, and his company is only welcome until he starts craning his neck for anyone else to talk to (because sehun, he declares, is extremely boring and totally consumed with work, and how the hell did he do the same thing for so long because not working is so much better), chen always shows up and steals him away.

 

but sehun doesnt mind, because even though he only sees minseok once a week, he sees luhan every day, and luhan, he admits, is just a little bit better.

 

~

 

sehuns favorite time to work is when luhan gets bored with whatever hes doing and he comes over and leans against sehuns back, his head hovering above his shoulder, and he just watches sehun work, assembling tiny parts with tweezers, or typing code into the computer. his eyes flit back and forth, reading the text faster than sehun can even write it, and hes genius at catching mistakes.

 

then again, thats what hes been made for.

 

its at times like those, when sehun marvels at his own creation; how luhan moves and breathes, how he exudes warmth against sehuns back, how his fingers feel like theyre covered in real skin as they ghost on sehuns shoulder instead of being coated in a medley of man-made materials and rubbers.

 

its technically against the rules, but when sehun goes home at night he brings luhan with him.

 

its strange, because luhan doesnt eat, he doesnt need to shower or use the bathroom, but hes still so human its scary. the way he jumps when theres a thunderstorm, the way he makes sehun turn away when he changes as if he is a stranger instead of his creator. theres something so real about him, that sehun just lets himself believe.

 

they fall asleep in the same bed and wake to the sound of sehuns alarm. some nights, sehun will wake up with the moon shining down and luhan is there, laying only a few inches away with a white glow to him. his cheek flashes every few seconds, like its supposed to when hes in sleep mode, and its brighter than the light coming through the window of the apartment.

 

every morning, sehun wakes up with that image still burned into his mind, and he eats while luhan watches and waits and talks. hes good at that, and sehun loves that he does it.

 

luhan plugs himself in when they get to the office, charging the batteries that need to be charged. sometimes sehun forgets theyre there and he goes walking about and trips over luhans cords, falling on his face and sighing because next time he really needs to remember or at least tape them directly to the floor.

 

"yo!" a voice shouts, just as sehun is picking himself up.

 

the door slams open with the vigor sehun has learned is characteristic of kim minseok. and then his hyung is there, his animal-like eyes wide and happy and a breakfast baggie clutched in his hand.

 

hes filled out over the years, regaining some of the chub in his cheeks that he lost in his time being cooped up, brainstorming and building. wealth has treated him well, though not to the extent that he has a mansion and servants and he does nothing himself, because minseok is one of the most down-to-earth people that sehun knows. he still lives in his cramped little apartment that smells vaguely of burnt carpet and hums of electricity because their experiments and projects have left their mark.

 

minseok sets himself down at one of sehuns extra tables, that he has just because sometimes the clutter overflows and he needs somewhere to put it. its all part of the crazy genius scientist thing, that hes found himself fitting quite nicely.

 

"so hows my favorite dongsaeng and his mechanical sidekick?" he asks, unwrapping a bagel toasted with egg and cheese and sehuns mouth waters despite having just eaten.

 

"were fine, hyung," sehun says and turns himself to the computer, pulling up the plans for a new DRN. he and luhan finished it the previous night and now it was on to the building.

 

"mo loof wiref?" he asks with his mouth full of bagel and egg.

 

its a question directed at luhan, because out of the three of them, hes the only one whos mechanical, but sehun wants to answer and defend luhan. luhan is almost human, and sehun feels like he should be treated that way. minseok means no harm, he knows, and maybe its his fault for acting as if luhan is just another one of them, but the question bugs him and reminds him of what hes always reminded of.

 

"nope," luhan replies, and he smiling, though it makes sehun feel no better.

 

minseok nods and then goes back to eating. and then he launches into some sort of soliloquy (its probably more of an anecdote, but neither sehun nor luhan is really listening, so it ends up that minseok is talking to himself) that goes on and on and sehun eventually tunes him out completely because luhan is pressed to his side, scanning the code that flashes by, and hes soft and attractive, his lashes fluttering and his eyes moving ever so slightly. theres a plug sticking into the back of his neck, and it falls down his back and around sehuns chair to the generator that charges him (because sehun found out quickly that his first creation needed his own power source unless he was to shut down the entire building). but even though its there, luhan has never looked more phenomenal.

 

luhan has never looked more human.

 

~

 

luhan is older than sehun, in terms of the way hes built. if he was to have a legitimate id, it would say he was 24. but the only identification he really gets is a number on the plating of his skull and a file in the DRN database.

 

sehun wishes he could give him more, because he hates how hes brought luhan to life only to remind him every day that hes not human, however human he feels. his feelings arent even emotions, theyre just programs and numbers that learn from their own reactions.

 

its a quiet night at sehuns apartment and theyre both lying in sehuns bed when he brings it up. theres an unbreachable space between them and luhan creaks sometimes when he moves, filling the empty space with some sort of sound, some sort of life, even though its not a life made of cells, its still a life made of energy and soul. a synthetic soul.

 

"what is it like?" sehun asks into the silence. "you know, to live but not actually be living?"

 

luhan is quiet, and he breathes in and out (though his body doesnt really need it, it was something sehun felt he needed to include).

 

"its alright," he says and sehun is surprised. he doesnt know why he is, but he had always thought that creating someone like that was cruel. maybe hes too soft.

 

luhan stretches his arms above his head, his thin fingers dancing through bright air. he watches his own digits moving, as if fascinated by himself.

 

"when you turned me off, i was wondering if i would ever get to wake back up. that was my last thought, and it made me sad."

 

luhan takes a cautious glance at sehun.

 

"well, maybe i wasnt actually sad. my emotions are just the work of your programming."

 

sehun is beginning to doubt that, though. hes beginning to think hes too good at his job, because he never programmed luhan to care; he never programmed luhan to be sad when he was shut down. and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, his creations might have a life of their own. every single one has their own personality, their own learning program. some are slower than others, some develop less than others, some are less useful than others.

 

but not luhan. luhan is the best of the best, and he just keeps getting better.

 

"what would you have done if you were assigned to a field agent?" sehun asks then, diffusing the heavy air.

 

luhans arms drop. "i would follow orders and protect him or her. the government regulations prevent me from doing anything else."

 

but sehun doesnt want to know that. "but what if you could? what if you could ignore them? what if you could live whatever life you chose?"

 

luhan blows at his bangs and thinks (or at least computes numbers that make up his words and thoughts). his eyebrows scrunch up, and his cheek glows faintly with blue lines and dots and circuits. "i would- i dont know. i think i would probably come back to you," he says finally and turns to sehun.

 

sehun lays stunned, because that was definitely not in luhans programming and hes beginning to consider that maybe all the flashing and thinking was really just override after override, because the file he calls luhan is suddenly wild and fascinating and maybe, just maybe, hes done something crazy by creating this.

 

but maybe hes done something legendary.

 

"why?" is the only thing he can ask.

 

"because," luhan says quietly. "you were the one who woke me up again. you gave me a second chance."

 

sehuns heart softens. "youre worth it."

 

~

 

its after that that sehun cant remind himself that luhan is, in fact, a machine, and not a human.

 

he still charges himself every morning, and touches wires crackling with electricity without a scratch, and sometimes he does things that arent characteristic of a human (like rubbing olive oil onto the outside of his creaking joints until theyre silent or taking out his eye so he can see something closer), but sehun has decided that if luhan is going to learn and act just like a human, he might as well be treated as one.

 

its with a thrill of excitement and adrenaline (because breaking the rules isnt something he does often) that he makes luhan a fake id, one that identifies him as a human, not a machine.

 

luhan smiles and tucks it into his pocket and then goes back to assembling DRN 1-0-6-6.

 

sometimes sehun just watches him work because he purses his lips and narrows his eyes and grips the tweezers with some sort of super strength until his mechanical fingers begin to turn white at the ends, as if theres blood under the skin instead of white-hot wires.

 

~

 

luhan is perfect, sehun thinks. luhan is perfect and beautiful, and sehun would give anything to have him.

 

but thats a line he cannot cross, because humans are humans and robots are robots and according to the government, DRNs are nothing but high tech shields, things made to protect the real human population. theyre helpful and worth it, but theyre nothing more than machines that can be deactivated at any time its required.

 

so he works without stopping, making them better and faster and stronger. making them something that will never die, something that will always be needed; something that everyone will see the worth in.

 

he makes them more tough and more durable, more quick to think and to judge than any human could ever be, saving lives and determining the situation in seconds. they break protocol sometimes, and it makes the police a stronger force against crime (a problem which is quickly escalating beyond easy containment, because sehun isnt the only genius inventor out there), more unpredictable and more efficient.

 

but the police chief doesnt see it that way.

 

sehun is programming the personality of DRN 1-1-3-5 when his door is slammed open and luhan jumps next to him.

 

"oh sehun!" a voice booms, and its the voice of kim jongdae. hes a man who rarely yells, a man of cool, even temper (unless hes flustered), and sehun immediately turns to him.

 

"yes sir?" he says, because he figures that calling him chen-chen is the exact wrong thing to do at the moment.

 

"come with me," he beckons, and sehun has no choice but to follow him, his heart in his throat.

 

luhan glances at him with apprehension in his eyes. the cord in his neck sparks and he winces, looking away and fixing it with nimble fingers.

 

sehun is torn away to the chiefs office, the walk feeling like a death sentence. chen is supposed to be his friend, but now he seems like his worst enemy.

 

the desk is overflowing with piles and piles of papers and files, which doesnt seem right because kim jongdae is an orderly man, who leaves his desk as spotless as his pressed and dry cleaned suit.

 

"do you know what these are?" jongdae asks, tapping a finger on the stacks of ink and paper.

 

sehun shakes his head, and wonders what this has to do with him.

 

"forms," jongdae says, standing behind his desk. "apologies and compensation for breaking protocol time after time after time. and do you know why youre here?"

 

sehun winces, because he hates that he knows. he hates that he knows deep down that his creations are the cause.

 

he doesnt even get to answer because jongdae does it for him.

 

"every single one of these forms, every one, is here because of your DRNs. theyre volatile, you understand? and that causes problems for us. even if they get the job done, there is no excuse for breaching the rules set into place."

 

he punctuates every point with a tap on the papers and for the first time since sehun was hired, kim jongdae is running things and kim jongdae is putting his power into use. hes intimidating and sehun is reminded that hes only just twenty one and this man is far superior to him.

 

"so what do you propose to fix this, hmm?" jongdae asks, sitting himself down in his chair and leaning on the papers, his weight pushing them down.

 

sehun feels like all that weight, all that responsibility is pushing down on him, and its hard to breathe. he shakes his head.

 

"im not sure," is all he can squeeze out, because he suddenly realizes that the DRNs might have their own opinions and emotions, but they are slaves to their own purpose.

 

he feels like a monster. hes created people (because thats what they are to him; people), brought them to life, only to tell them that they cant be who they are because they have to listen to everyone else.

 

jongdae leans back in his seat. "alright. then i will solve the problem, and you will let my decision pass."

 

sehun is afraid that he wont like that decision when he comes to it.

 

~

 

the verdict turns out to be removing DRNs from duty, one by one as they cause problems. jongdae says that this eliminates repeated offenders, but sehun just watches as his creations are powered down and shoved into the basement storage one after another.

 

he knows its just a matter of time before theyre gone altogether.

 

jongdae knows this too, because two weeks after the new rules go into place, he commissions sehun to do a new job. he assures sehun that if he cant do it, there will be no problem replacing him with someone who can.

 

sehun tells him he can and jongdae leaves quickly.

 

he has a month. a month, and then its over.

 

~

 

the idea is to make a robot essentially like the existing DRNs, but instead of having synthetic souls and human-like, emotion based decision making, these machines will make judgement based entirely on logic, protocol, and orders.

 

sehun calls them MXs, because he figures it sounds a whole lot less REAL than DRN does. MX is distinctly artificial, but DRN could be the abbreviation for a job.

 

sehun likes to think that being a DRN is sort of like a job, something a human could get themselves promoted to. but MX is a label, a defining name. MXs are completely synthetic, artificial, mechanical. MXs are wholly fake.

 

right away, sehun doesnt like them. he doesnt like creating an army of identical models that are just like the robots that have been dreamt up for centuries. robots that are all alike, robots who listen to humans, robots who have no mind to think for themselves. luhan isnt like them. he may be a robot, but hes not like these new models; these MXs.

 

luhan helps him work on them with a grim expression, as if hes despising this process just as much as sehun is. these things are like him on the outside; human-like machines. but its the inside that really matters, the programming and the personality. luhan has that, but these THINGS dont.

 

as far as sehun is concerned, luhan is real, real like no MX will ever be.

 

"i dont like this," luhan tells him as theyre sitting in silence at the lab. everyone has left for the day and sehun is still there, though hes given up on work, at least for now. "these robots arent right," luhan says, looking over to the half-complete MX lying on sehuns table.

 

sehun is tempted to agree with him, but theres really nothing he can do about it. hes a contract-holding employee of the police station, which basically means hes a slave, just like every machine he creates. he doesnt have the option of leaving.

 

"how long do i have left?" luhan asks suddenly, pulling his feet to rest on the rungs of his stool. he stares down at his hands and the side of his face glows softly.

 

"forever," sehun says, because if nothing changes, luhan will live on until hes manually powered off. hes made of sterner stuff than any human.

 

then again, sehuns probably just kidding himself because change is already happening; its been happening his whole life.

 

luhan laughs a little bitterly. "you and i both know that isnt true. the DRNs are almost gone, sehun. im practically the last one left. they wont leave me out of this, and you know that as well as i do."

 

sehun swallows and looks out the window. everything is a little blurry because luhan stole his glasses again. "dont think about it, luhan," he says. "please just live well with the time you have left."

 

"and how do i do that?" luhan asks.

 

sehun tries to convince himself that hes not feeling emotional about the thought that luhan will be leaving. but he is.

 

"you do whatever you want. whatever your heart desires, so that when youre gone, you have no regrets."

 

luhan is quiet for a moment and sehun lets the city lights blur together in his vision.

 

"why do you say that as if im human? why do you treat me as if im not a robot?"

 

"because you deserve better than to be treated like one of the others. you have a soul, thats how i made you, and you have a personality. you can learn things."

 

"did you ever think that it might hurt me more to be treated like a human instead of a machine?" luhan spits, scraping at his plastic nails.

 

in reality, sehun hasnt thought of it that way. he always figured that luhan would rather be human than machine, flesh instead of poly-fibers, a mess of feelings instead of a brain of logic. luhan was made to be human, and the idea that he wouldnt want to be treated as if he was is foreign.

 

"im reminded every day that im not human, just because you pretend i am," luhan continues, his voice filled with a sort of spite. "even if i try, i can never feel human, because when i move i can feel every wire in my body shifting and every joint creaking and i know thats not how humans work."

 

hearing the pain in luhans voice hurts. luhan is his creation, his greatest achievement, and hes so perfectly human that hes not. he just wants luhan to be happy, as happy as a program floating and learning in its own man-made body can feel.

 

"humans are different," luhan says, his words cracking at the seams. sehun thinks he would be crying if he could. "and im not human. why couldnt you have made me just like the other DRNs?"

 

sehun has a million excuses for why luhan is different; reasons all the way from the fact that luhan was the first, a prototype, something imperfect, to sehun having wanted something that combined every dream he ever had for a robot, every detail, like a movie star commissioning their first house when they realize they have millions to spend. or an artist who loves color and covers a canvas just in color after color after color.

 

luhan was his canvas, and sehun painted everything on with meticulous and a hand that was more caring than with any other DRN.

 

"i didnt want you hurt like them," he finally says. "you mean too much."

 

luhans glare just about melts him into his chair. "you mean i mean too much as your first robot, your crown achievement, the thing that people stare at and say, 'oh hes so handsome, how did you make that eye color?' im just a trophy."

 

sehun winces. "youre not. trust me luhan, thats not who you are."

 

luhan jiggles his knee and clenches his hand into a fist. its a tick thats distinctly not machine-like and sehun can tell luhans program has been observing and learning better than he thought it would.

 

he wants to slap himself for thinking about the machine parts of luhan again. luhan is luhan. he isnt defined by his labels, but by who he IS.

 

"when i was little," sehun says quietly. "i went to an assembly. it wasnt for school, it was just because my parents wanted me to learn."

 

luhan perks up a little, but his head stays down.

 

"there was a woman there, and she looked normal. she looked just like anyone else. but then she came up to talk and she told us that she was a mother, a lesbian, and a priest. she said that those were labels people gave her and that to some people, those labels were what defined her. but, luhan, we arent defined by our labels. were defined by who we are and what we do with the things we have."

 

luhan curls in on himself tighter and sehun keeps talking.

 

"luhan, you arent a just a DRN. you arent just the synthetic soul inside you. you arent just my creation. youre everything that you do with those titles. youre not defined by some labels, youre defined by the work youve done here and the little things you do to tease everyone who steps foot in this room and the fact that you complain youre old just because you creak once in a while. luhan, youre someone amazing and youve grown beyond just being a machine."

 

luhan looks up at him and sehun doesnt see gears and wires and lights, he just sees a pair of eyes that look like they have pupils and lenses and nerves, eyes that seem to hide someone trying to break free of what hes been told he is.

 

"youre luhan," sehun says earnestly. "i think your name is the only definition you need."

 

luhan smiles then, a small, but definitely real smile.

 

"so... anything my heart desires, right?" he asks and sehun is reminded that they went way off topic. luhans hand is clutched over the space where his heart would be, and maybe all the wires and particles that flicker with electricity can equate to some sort of heart in sehuns book.

 

"yes," he says, and hes serious about this. he has all the time he wants to live, but luhan could be gone any time. its a little backwards, he thinks, because luhan is supposed to be around forever and yet hes the one whos unsure of his future.

 

"anything?" luhan repeats, his eyes sparkling with amusement and mirth.

 

"of course."

 

luhan rises from his seat like a cat slinks from the shadows. hes silent and strange in the unearthly yellow light from sehuns lamp.

 

all too soon, luhans face is centimeters from his own and sehun is wondering how.

 

"then can i kiss you?" he questions, his lips curving at the edges.

 

"is that what you want?" sehun shoots back, but in the back of his mind, his brain is moving a million miles a minute. even being a genius isnt enough to prepare oneself for a robot who learns more and wants more than a robot ought to.

 

luhans hands rest on the tops of sehuns thighs, landing one and then the other and sehun marvels at how realistic luhan is; for the first time, thinking not of his own achievement, but of luhan and just luhan. and maybe thats what luhan wants.

 

no labels.

 

no difference.

 

just luhan.

 

sehun has trouble breathing, though he figures that must just be a by-product of being a nerd closed in his lab constantly, not really out there. and hes just considering calling this off and telling luhan to find a different desire to fill, because there are sure to be more, arent there, because you can never have everything you want.

 

but when luhan kisses him, and his slightly imperfect lips are touching sehuns perfect ones, sehun realizes that maybe this is the only thing luhan wants; to be seen, to be felt, but not for the machine he lives in, but for the glowing person he is inside.

 

the glowing person who is more than just a program.

 

so sehun kisses him back, because this is luhan.

 

(and screw the logic that says anything against kissing a robot)

 

~

 

the day luhan is gone is the day sehun hands over his robot empire. he is twenty two when it happens, and luhan has barely been alive for a year.

 

in the year 2044, during the month of april, jongdae passes the final verdict. every DRN is to be shut down and deemed unstable.

 

including luhan.

 

sehun was right when he said they didnt have much time, he just didnt think it would be less than a month. he does it in private, because he doesnt trust himself in front of a live audience of his coworkers and the cleaning staff who help stack the machines into the basement.

 

its one of those times when he doesnt want to cry until he has to, and as far as he is concerned, he doesnt have to until luhans eyes are dead. but that doesnt mean it hurts any less, hooking up luhan to the de-charging systems (because its better to store DRNs with no energy than some), and feeling strong fingers helping him when his start to shake.

 

luhan is wearing his glasses, because he claims theyll help him sleep better or something. sehun just thinks its because luhan is a proven fashionista and sehuns glasses improve his look. luhan makes him promise he can keep them and sehun curses because theres no way he can avoid a promise. he decides his chunky back-up glasses will be okay.

 

luhan is covered in wires when hes done, lights glowing around his fingertips and along his scalp in his honey blond hair. there are cords coming from his metal-plated skull and he looks almost like medusa but a thousand times more beautiful and a only a couple times less deadly.

 

he looks at sehun with these knowing eyes, like he understands why sehun is so torn up inside. he looks at sehun like hes saying hes ready.

 

sehun glances down to the button, glowing a bright red and he shakes his head to himself. this isnt right.

 

five minutes later, the problem is solved.

 

sehun has taped green felt over the button, and while it doesnt change the base of the button, it still gives some sort of hope instead of despair. sehun likes the green. luhan seems to like it too.

 

"thanks," luhan says. hes smiling his perfect DRN smile. but luhan is unique because he has a cut, a slip up running across his bottom lip, and it makes him better than any other creation sehun has made. hes not so perfect after all. "thanks for letting me do everything."

 

sehun nods and his eyes prick. hes going to cry, but he holds it in.

 

luhans lips touch his cheek, his fingertips caressing sehuns jaw before both fleeting touches are gone.

 

luhan lays himself back and he smiles. hes glowing on the side of his face like he does when hes getting too emotional and his programming cant handle that much emotion.

 

sehuns finger rests on the red button turned green and even though hes tried so hard, the tears begin to slip out and he doesnt want to let go of luhan; beautiful, wonderful luhan.

 

he shakes his head, because he cant do it. he feels like he cant do it with tears streaming down his face in rivers and pooling in a lake of despair within his chest.

 

luhan reaches up awkwardly, his arm bending beside his head to where sehuns hand hovers over the button. the wires on his fingers wrap over sehuns hand and luhan takes a deep unneeded breath while sehun watches as if in a dream.

 

luhan presses the button with his own fingers.

 

and everything in sehuns life is silent.

 

~

 

sehuns job position is doing well, having been taken over by a bright young man fresh out of college, though hes a little older than sehun is, which is strange to most people.

 

but not to sehun, for hes used to being the youngest in everything.

 

he still goes to the station almost every day, even though he doesnt have real business there. people talk but sehun decides theres no problem with being curious. hes just a man whos broken and needs his time alone, sitting in his untouched lab with the only light coming up from the great city around him.

 

the city might be huge but to sehun it feels empty too.

 

theres one time hes there, just staring out the window at the blurry world, and jongdae comes in with light steps. he hadnt been too keen to sehuns decision to leave, but sehun had determination and a persuasive vocabulary and it was difficult to resist.

 

jongdae stands motionless beside him for a while, his hands in his pockets. his former boss is missing his tie and a couple buttons are undone and sehun applauds him for leaving his comfort zone.

 

so far, sehun hasnt done anything of the sort himself.

 

and maybe he never will.

 

"you know he wasnt real," jongdae says in his quiet voice. its not completely boss-like and logical sounding but its damn close. "he was DRN 0-0-0-1, sehun. he was a bunch of metal and plastic made to look like a person."

 

sehun shakes his head.

 

"he wasnt a DRN," he says. "he was luhan."

 

and thats enough.

 

because luhan isnt defined by any titles hes given, any categories hes placed in. luhan is defined by his name because it means everything that he is.

 

sehun stares out at the blurry city and lets himself think of luhan.

 

 

A/N: i dont know what to say about this.

buts my computer is lagging big time so .

mmm i cant live with this slow computer bye