"Oppa, what are you doing?" You hissed as the latter went down on one knee in the middle of the park.

He opend the velvet red box and a bright shining small ring was inside. Tears instantly gathered in your eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oppa, we're only 17!"

"My love for you won't change over time so why not now?" He said sweetly and cheers from passers-by erupted and you flung your arms around him in pure bliss.

"Yes." You managed to choke out and he took out your necklace and slid the engagement ring onto it.

Passers-by clapped and cheered as your cheeks pinked. "I love you." He mumbled while engulfing you into a back-breaking hug. You wrapped your arms around him and whispered, "To the moon and back."

_

Its was two months since you and Kyungsoo got engaged but you've been really sick.

Kyungsoo didn't know anything about it. You constantly had nosebleeds and would get splitting headaches. Whenever you got headaches, you brushed him off. Saying you were just moody. Whenever you had a nosebleed and he noticed, you said you've just been eating rather unhealthily. Breathing got harder. You often experienced pains in your chest area unexpectedly and it intensified.

Recently, it got worse. A lot worse. Whenever you coughed, there was blood. You'd suddenly lost a lot of weight despite having the same eating habits. it was getting really hard to pass off as a mere cold or fever anymore. My lungs were hurting a lot and breathing alone got you dizzy. Just yesterday, you went to the doctor and had a check-up.

"I'm sorry but you have stage 3 cancer." 

Were his exact words. You saw the sympathy in his eyes. You saw the pity. 

You didn't know why you didn't break down. You just nodded and took it all in.
 
It wasn't that you'd been expecting it. It was that it wasn't a surprise. The symptoms... If only you'd realised sooner.

But what would Kyungsoo say? What if you'd never told him and just left one day? What if you told him and he couldn't take it? What if there wasn't enough time?

No. It was better to just let him think you were a horrible person who played with his emotions. At least that way, you wouldn't hurt him as much. 

_

"Let's cancel the engagement." You said, your heart cracking but kept a straight face.

Kyungsoo dropped the fork he was holding and stared at you. "What?"

"I said, let's cancel the engagement."

There was a silence as he nervously laughed. "____-ah, haha thats funny but—"

"I'm not kidding. I'll have my lawyer send you the documents by the day after tomorrow." You said as you clenched your fist and dug your fingernails into your flesh. Holding back your emotions.

He just stared at you in absolute shock. You got up and left the apartment you both shared.

Just as you got out of the door, your tears flowed down. 'I'm sorry.' You thought over and over again.

'It was for the best. At least you'd go without having the burden of him crying over you.'

And you turned into a dark alley and cried your emotions out. 

'I'm sorry.'

_

By the next day, the documents were on his desk. Kyungsoo came back from his internship and saw the envelope on his desk. He stopped short and stared straight at me. I kept my eyes on the television.

"______-ah... W—Wae?"

Your heart broke as you said the next words, "I grew tired of you."

You bit the side of you cheek till you tasted blood. Just to hold it in. It wasn't easy. In fact, this was the hardest thing you'd ever done in your whole life.

His eyes watered as he grabbed a pen. "Okay. If that's what you want." He said as he scribbled his signature at the bottom.

You heart clenched and you kept a poker face ad you took the form from him. You bowed slightly and then turned into the guest room where you'd moved all your belongings earlier that day. Just as you reached the door, Kyungsoo said from behind.

"I'll still love you."

Your tears brimmed at the rims of your eyes as you opened the door and slammed it shut. You tossed to paper onto the table and grabbed your pillow to muffle your tears. 

'I'll still love you.'

Repeated in my head. 

'You'd better not. Otherwise, all this would be in vain.'

_

The next week, you packed up and rented an apartment around the outskirts of Seoul. The documents were finalized and your days were numbered.

You kept a diary where you recorded every single day you'd spent with him till this day.

And you spent every day reading them. Remembering. 

'I hope you'll forget me soon.'

_

The day your lungs gave way was a the day you'd decided to write him one final letter. When he got over you.

_

"Kyungsoo-ssi. I found this book in _____'s room. I thought you'd want it." 

Kyungsoo flipped open the book and took a seat by his desk as he read on. 

'24 August. 

Omona, Kyungsoo oppa and i are together!!!!! I can't believe it! He took me out for lunch and it wasn't awkward at all!!!'

 Kyungsoo felt bitter as he read those but he remembered everything in detail. 

He read on, heart clenching until he noticed there were still entries after... It.

'Anneong chinnggu.

I just found out i have... Lung Cancer. What do i tell Kyungsoo oppa??????????? Omo WHAT DO I DO?!'

'I'm going to let him think i was just an obstacle in his life. I was just another who played with emotions. I'd rather he hate me then miss me or anything for the rest of his life. Should I?'

'Its done. The divorce. 

Bye Kyungsoo. For the better.'

The last page had a letter that was never finished. But it conveyed the biggest message out of everything in the book.

_

'To Kyungsoo oppa.
When you read this, you're hopefully married to another woman who loves you much more than i did.

You're hopefully of a ripe age and have mny kids running about your house.

And by then, i would be long gone. I'm writing this to tell you that i'd never stopped loving you. Not once in my short life. This is contradictory huh? I had lung cancer.

I hope you didn't know about this till now. Whatever old age you are. Haha... I was a huge burden. I couldn't take cre of myself. I felt horrible being alive amyway. 

I'm in a better place now. Believe me.
And i don't want you doing anything stupid because of this.

This is just my last farewell to you. Thank you for the 1 and a half year that were the best of my life. Thank you for cooking for me, taking care of me, loving me. Thank you for being you and for never giving up on me. Even when there were times where you should have.

Thank you.

I'm not sure if you still remember but, 

I still love you to the moo—'

The letter was never finished.

_

Kyungsoo stood at the foot of the door as he stared at the door of the morgue.

He'd received a call from your mother telling him to go see you for... The last time.

The door opened and your mother came out, face fresh with tears.

He took a shaky breath and entered. Tears sprung to his eyes as he spotted your lifeless body.

"_____-ah... Wake up... You—You're gonna be late for work." He croaked as he put a hand to your cold cheek. 

"_____-ah..." He called again. His tears rolled down his cheek and he started shaking your body. 

"WAKE UP. PLEASE." He yelled and went into a hysterical fit. You didn't move an inch and he just kept yelling.

"You're supposed to wake up... And scold me for yelling. You're supposed to be next to me for the rest of my life." He said softly again.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

"Yah... Wake up..." Tears rolled down his cheeks again as his knees went weak and he collapsed onto the ground. 

"Please... Come back. I love you..." He chanted over and over again. Like it would make a difference.