review!!
"내 가 왜?/ why me?"내가 왜 (Why me?)?
By: nawachan
Title:
5/5 points
Personally, I like how the title is cute and actually relates to the story. I also think the title is unique as you wrote it in Korean with an English translation. All in all, I think you're title helps to draw readers in and want to read your story (I know I did a couple times before creating a review shop. XD)
Description:
3/5 points
When reading the summary, I did catch some spelling errors and grammar mistakes (to be looked at on grammar section). Anyway, the summary didn't give out too much or too little. Also, the descriptions for the characters (in my opinion) should be in the foreword. The description is basically just the summary of your story. Other then those flaws, your summary was okay in my opinion. ^^
Foreword:
0/5 points
No points are given as there is no foreword. Like I said when talking about the description, the character profiles should be in the foreword and maybe put a little message from you stating something like, "Remember to comment and subscribe" and such.
Title of chapter(s):
2/5 points
I think it's interesting that you named the chapters as if they are episodes in a drama. Unfortunately, I do feel that you should've gave the episodes a title. Instead of just "Episode 1" "Episode 2" etc. Basically, give the "episodes a title. Besides with the chapter being called 'episode', I wasn't given a clear idea on what was going to happen.
Characterization:
16/20
When I read the first chapters, I had trouble seeing Yuri as the cheerful college student. I felt like there wasn't enough characterisation for her. On the other hand, Jang Geun Suk's arrogant personality is characterized very well on the chapter he appears in. Also, Seohyun's character was characterized well, showing her innocence. At the same time, I think there isn't a lot of details, trying to make the characters come to life. Other then that, I think you're doing pretty well. ^^
Format:
8/10 points
I like how the speech of the characters and the thoughts were in different colors. Yet, the color of the speech for each character is the same! I suggest that you use different colors for each character when they are talking or thinking. Basically, I feel like each character should have a different color when they speak, so it would limit confusion when readers read the story and try to follow the dialogue and thoughts of the character.
Flow: 15/15
Personally, I think your flow is excellent and is not too choppy at all.
Details:
10/10 points
I think you showed a lot of detail on where the character was, her surroundings, etc...
Spelling/Grammar:
17/20 points
Since English is not your first language, I didn't mark you very hard. However, I would like to point out some errors. For example, I saw a couple names that weren't capitalized. To let you know, every name (every part of the name) should start with a captial letter. I also spotted quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes, which I can tell you personally and privately (as I feel it's not something I should put for everyone to see). If you have any questions on grammar or spelling, please come and ask me. ^^
Overall Enjoyment:
4/5 points
I have a lot of fanfics involving someone possibly falling in love with their tutor or mentor. Yet, I enjoyed the story as it cute and refreshing to read (in my opinion). Also, your story has only two chapters. Therefore, it's really to early to judge the story plot. ^^
Final Score: 80/100 points
Review by: LuciferAngel66
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