„Hyung, are you troubled?“ Taemin’s voice was very quiet in the room, quiet enough to be easily overheard.

“Troubled? Why would I-“ Jinki started to say but he was stopped when his throat closed up. In utter bewilderment he felt tears sliding down his cheeks. He touched his face to make sure and took a shaky breath when his fingertips came back wet. “Why?” He whispered but the tears overwhelmed him, causing him to slump forward. His face was buried in his hands and he took heaving breaths, gulping in the air to try and calm down.

To no avail. The tears continued flowing, the sobs continued racking his body mercilessly. He felt trapped inside his own body, vulnerable and desperate when his mind started playing pictures. Memories to be exact; of his father’s back, his mother’s depression, that stranger with that too honest, too kind smile. Of the small girl that giggled everytime she saw him and demanded to be picked up and carried around. Of socks under the Christmas tree for him, next to huge plushies and toys for her. Of evenings in his rooms with laughter drifting up the stairs, mocking him.

It took an eternity but he eventually managed to calm down until only sniffles were left. He rubbed his swollen eyes with his fists before he turned around to find Taemin working at his homework, like he was supposed to in these sessions. Jinki gulped and pressed his eyes together to regain the rest of his composure.

“Are you ok with these?” He asked tentatively, embarrassed for his breakdown, and made a vague movement with his hand towards Taemin’s folder.

“I’m fine.” Taemin smiled. “But, hyung-“ He leaned over and rummaged through his drawer. When his hand came back out it was carrying a small packet, clumsily wrapped in lime-green wrapping paper.

“Happy Birthday, Jinki-hyung.” Taemin’s voice was small and unsure as he handed the present over. And Jinki started crying again; quieter this time, just a steady stream of salty drops that repainted the trails the tears from before had left behind.

These chocolates were the first birthday gift he’d gotten in 6 years.