I’m Lee Hye Min. I’m 17 years old.

In my 17 years of living, I was once a normal girl. I went to school. I used to date. I used to love. But that was all before. In all my life, I found people who cared for me, who were there to listen to me, but it didn’t last too long. Let’s not speak about family. All you need to know is that my family is no longer a part of my life. Friends? I don’t have any. I don’t believe in those things. People always left anyways, whether if they wanted to or not. Whenever something felt so right, something bad had to come to ruin it. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. Life is full of surprises. I know clearly that I shouldn’t dwell on the past but I still do. It makes me who I am today. If I actually never considered suicide I think that makes me sane… right? Every day is the same routine. Same thing every day, just a different day.

In my 17 years of living, I fell in love with five different types of people. We all had our stories, we all had our phases. Whatever I went through with them, I did truly cherish the memories. But I think I have bad luck with relationships, or maybe just with people overall. I found hope every time, just to get let down once more. Not only after my 5^th lover did I realize that I was the problem here. Well, that’s what I believe anyways. There was always a way to tear us apart. Always a reason why we had to or why we did. Every time I had to deal with a breakup, my sickness visited me again. Once I fell in love again, it was strange because it went away as fast as it came. Maybe I’m just a lonely person? No, because I’ve been alone for the past year and I’ve seen no signs of the sickness coming back, fortunately. I don’t do dating anymore. I’m probably better off without it anyway. Haven't tried it for a while. It took a while but I started to socialize with others again.

It’s kind of hard to admit that you’re different. It’s kind of hard to explain to someone why you’re that way and it’s even harder to accept it. It’s hard to find the right people to hang out around with, afraid if they’ll accept you for the way you are or if they won’t. It’s hard to find someone to listen to you and what you have to say. It’s hard to keep someone around. That’s why I don’t have anyone. Everyone who was once here left me, because it was too hard. Heck, life is just hard. That’s why I’m not looking for anyone, so I hope no one’s looking for me.