“Hyung, are you ready?” Ryeowook peeked in the room, where I was sitting on my bed, staring to the ground.

“Eh? Ah, yeah, I am ready,” I smiled and stood up.

“Hyung...” he called and bit his lower lip, trying to say something, but had no idea what.

“I am fine,” I gave him an assuring smile and walked to him. “I am fine, Wookie.” I patted his shoulders.

“You can stay here, if you want to, after all, this schedule isn’t important so much.” He said, trying to find an excuse for me to stay behind.

“Ryeowook, you know very well that Super Junior is as much special to me as it is to you and everyone. On top of that, gossips would start spreading, saying that after I was discharged from military, I started taking everything so light-headed and that it would be the best if I wasn’t discharged.” I said matter-of-factly, making Ryeowook frown.

“Well...we will wait for you in the van.” Ryeowook smiled and looked down.

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded with a smile and watched him leaving the dorm.

The moment the doors closed, my smile faded, and I stood on the doorway like a statue, before I forced myself to walk back in the room to grab my bag. “It is time, Heechul.” I told myself and left the dorm, locking behind myself.

“Hyung!” called Donghae the moment I opened the doors of the van.

“Y-yes?” I was startled and looked at him.

“Eunhyuk keeps smacking my .” He pouted with those fishy eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Hyukjae, who was looking away, trying to hide as much far as he can. “Ya, Lee Hyukjae,” I called him, making him frown.

“I-I didn’t do a-anything...” he stuttered and looked at me with wide open eyes. Others burst out in laughter as I sat between Donghae and Hyukjae before we drove to the airport.

The whole ride, I kept my eyes closed, trying to get some sleep, but I couldn’t due to Donghae’s picking up on Hyukjae, who was calm.

“Donghae, don’t provoke Heechul too much.” Spoke Sungmin from in front.

“I am not provoking him,” he answered like a little kid.

Letting an irritated sigh out, I opened my eyes and looked straight at Donghae, who immediately straightened up and looked in front, making Hyukjae grinning. “Not able to get some sleep...” I cursed, gaining dissatisfied look from Siwon, and closed my eyes back again.

“Guys, let’s not get too far from each other once we reach airport.” Spoke Hyukjae, once we were right in front of it, seeing all the fan girls.

“Yeah...we really shouldn’t...” Everyone agreed and looked at me, while Kyuhyun was already outside, making every fan squealing. I rolled with my eyes and followed Kyuhyun, making fans quiet down as I quickly shot them a glare to keep quiet. They even made a way for us, so we could easily come quicker.

“Where is Sungmin?” asked Shindong, spotting that bunny was missing. We all looked around before we heard a squeal and scream coming from behind. The moment we turned around, we saw Sungmin looking after himself, before he looked back in front and started running.

“He is getting chased again...” Siwon shook with his head, while Donghae and Hyukjae were laughing.

“You two really enjoy in this, don’t you?” I glared at them. They looked at each other and then at me before they started laughing once again.

“Thank god...” murmured Sungmin, once he reached us, while fans stopped at the fence, screaming our names.

“Let’s go,” I murmured and tried to walk to the exit, before Donghae stopped everyone, with simple question: “Why don’t we greet them?”

“Yeah,” nodded Hyukjae and looked at others. “Well...if you want to.” He added, seeing the glare I sent to him.

“Oppa~” the girls kept calling.

I glanced over my shoulder and let a sigh out, before I smiled and turned around. “Annyeong,” I waved with my hands.

“Oppa!” Some squealed and some screamed, making me to glare at Hyukjae, who shrugged and quickly joined me.

“Annyeong,” Everyone smiled and waved with hands. We did a little greeting with short waves before we all disappeared on the long hallway that was leading to plane.

“It is always great to see fans escorting us to airport.” Smiled Kangin and sat on his seat.

“Escorting us?” Sungmin raised an eyebrow. “Yeah...escorting us.” He repeated and sat beside Donghae.

“You were chased by fans once again and this time it wasn’t even our fault.” Spoke Kyuhyun and sat beside Ryeowook.

“You disappeared from my sight the moment I looked away.” Sungmin glared at the younger.

“I bet you saw another store with pink stuff...” Kyuhyun murmured under his breath.

“Guys, would you quiet down?” sighed Hyukjae and looked from one to another. “Hyung doesn’t have a good day...” he said, referring to me; I knew.

“I am fine.” I smiled.

“You aren’t.” Spoke Shindong and raised an eyebrow before I could argue ahead. I didn’t want to argue, not when we have a flight to China in front of ourselves, so instead of saying anything I quietly sat down and looked through window.

“Once he sees him, he won’t leave.” I heard Siwon from behind once we were up in the air.

“It is Hee we are talking about.” laughed Kangin. “But I agree with Siwon though...” he added. Narrowing my eyebrows I raised my head and looked at sleeping Sungmin.

“Having troubles to sleep?” asked Donghae, who sat on the seat beside me.

“No,” I shortly answered and looked back through window.

Soon after everyone fell asleep only I and Kyuhyun were awake. Like every time before he was playing games on his laptop, while I was listening to music on my phone.

When we arrived at airport in China, song Shanghai Romance by Orange Caramel started playing as I stopped walking, while members looked at me with sad smiles.

“Don’t tell me you are listening to that song?” I could feel mocking in his voice as he walked closer to me. “It has been a while, Heenim.” He said, showing a smile that I always wanted to see, even after all this time.

“Is it...really you?” I managed to ask and raised a hand.

“One and only.” He smiled and pulled me in a hug. I smiled widely and hugged him back without saying anything. I didn’t mind for the looks I got from passerbies; I even forgot that Super Junior was beside me and that I wasn’t alone in China.

“Why don’t we go somewhere we can talk, before HanChul actually becomes official?” I heard Kyuhyun and widened my eyes second later.

Quickly pulling away I eyed him from head to toes, touched his cheeks, his arms, his head, just to see that he really is standing in front of me.

“Hyung we should really go now...” Donghae said and nervously looked around, seeing fans gathering around.

I held his hand with a wide smile and looked at members. “Let’s go,” I said, startling them. They shook with their heads and started walking towards exit.

The moment we were in the van, I stared at him, while he was talking with Siwon and other members.

“You will make him feel uncomfortable, hyung.” Smirked Kyuhyun, but I didn’t mind. I kept staring at his face that has changed in these five years we didn’t see each other.

“You idiot...” I murmured, making him to look at me.

“Eh?” he murmured confused.

“Idiot!” I raised my voice, unable to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Why am I an idiot?” he asked shocked.

“Because you never called.” I answered and looked away, crossing my hands. “Do you have any idea how much I missed the times we were drinking in our room? How much I missed teaching you cuss words in Korean? How much I...” My voice cracked when I tried to end, but couldn’t. “How much I...wanted to tell you...that I miss...you?”

“I missed you too, Hee...” he smiled and pulled me in a hug.

Only now I broke down. Tears started streaming down my cheeks as I tightened the hug and buried my face into his neck, missing his warmth. He tightened the hug and patted my back, letting me know everything will be fine, but I knew that if I let him go, he will disappear and I don’t want that. I don’t want to go through those days once again.

“Gege…” I sobbed and hugged him tighter.

“There, there…” He patted my back, while I let all the tears that were stored for all these five years out.

Once I have calmed down, I looked away with pink cheeks, seeing all members looking at me with sad smiles as I wiped away my tears. “W-what are you l-looking at?” I stuttered and crossed my hands like a little kid.

“Chullie,” Han Geng called my name like he always did.

I looked in his way and saw a cake in his hands. “W-what is this?” I asked wide eyed, before everyone started singing. “W-what the-?” I murmured even more confused.

“Happy birthday, Chullie,” He smiled widely.

Looking at Han Geng and then at everyone else, who were now smiling more happily, I started laughing, making everyone confused at my outburst. “You are all funny.” I said in laughter and slapped my knees few times. “I don’t have…” I stopped laughing in one second before I looked on my phone at the date.

10^th July “Bwohrago?!” I widened my eyes and looked back at guys. “Someone pinch me because I don’t believe this is real…” I murmured. Kyuhyun grinned and leaned closer to me, making me confused, and pinched me on my upper arm. “YA!” I glared at him.

“You told us to pinch you,” he shrugged with smirk.

I wanted to say something back, but I didn’t find words. Instead, I looked at Han Geng, who was laughing at our stupid behaviour and I couldn’t help but smile, seeing him happy. “Gege,” I called him and leaned closer to his face.

“Yes, Chul?” he asked and looked at me.

“When are you coming back?” I asked with a smile, making his smile disappear from his lips, together with everyone’s.

“H-Heechul…” he stuttered and looked down in guilt.

I know what this means. I know it too well, but I just hope he will say “now” or “tomorrow” or … just something, that will make my hope raise as much as I have them right now, at this moment, when I am with him and other members, celebrating my birthday in this small van in China. Please, Gege...come back.