Hiiii....
this is an update, just like before, I hope you read this with open mind. :)
thanks for everyone! ^^ your comments made my day. <3

SH.

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“I know, don’t take it seriously son. You are in your adolescence stage that you might think what you feeling is the path of your life. It’s only a figment that will pass, once you know about life, you’ll realize what you’re doing right now is nothing son.” He smiled again

“What do you mean Dad? You think I’m just playing around? Having fun? No Dad, I love him.”

“What could a 26 years old man like you know about love?”

“I don’t know much, but I always learned about love from you, Dad.”

“Listen son, we can do this right now, talk about this later when you grow up.” His father stood up and left him on the angry state.

Siwon hurt, he felt useless, and he couldn’t pay what Kyuhyun gave him. His family loved him like their own son, but his father thought Siwon was just playing around. However his mother and his sister already accepted him. Jiwon most likely a modern girl, he didn’t hate that kind of people, because what they needed is love and to be loved, it’s just the same with other people. So she always stood behind her brother whenever his father tried to mock him, differ from his mother, she couldn’t do anything, but Siwon understood, though his mother didn’t show anything that showed she was accepting him in front of his father, but the truth was she fully understood Siwon’s condition.

Love is a mutual respect

They were so bold and happy on stage, nothing could forbid them to show their love, at least Siwon tried so hard to make people see how much he love Kyuhyun; on stage.

Kyuhyun being the snarky maknae, he always avoid Siwon’s attempt, he made that disgusted face and shoved Siwon away, the truth was he enjoyed Siwon’s action as much as Siwon did, but he just didn’t want people to see how much he love Siwon, he wanted to keep it as their sweet little secret. He love Siwon more than people could imagine, he just afraid, because every time he tried to show it, the flash of past relationship came back to Siwon’s life, and what made him tired was Siwon never accepted nor rejected it, that’s why almost every time he felt insecure. He felt unsure about Siwon’s feeling toward him. Does he love him for real? Does he forget about her already? Am I still a substitute? Am I worth it? So he just took some step back, tried not fly too high so he won’t fall too hurt.

The first time Kyuhyun’s attempt to show people how much he adored Siwon was in their super show in Taiwan, Kyuhyun was walking happily with a bouquet in his hand and approached Siwon, he didn’t know why but his feet suddenly settled to kneel down and proposed Siwon with the bouquet. Siwon received it so eagerly holding Kyuhyun’s wrist which accidentally made Kyuhyun fell, then Siwon helped him stood up and danced happily with him. On Kyuhyun’s birthday party on stage, Siwon stood next to Kyuhyun, being the proud boyfriend he lighted the candle for him; he caressed Kyuhyun’s hair meekly.

The next day they went to the school opening of Kyuhyun’s dad. There was this piercing pain inside Kyuhyun’s heart when seeing Siwon really close and comfortably talking with his parents, not that he hate it, he loved it, if only Siwon’s parents did the same too.

“I was so happy and I am as well.” he whispered to Kyuhyun when they were gathering in his father’s office at the school.

“Why?” Kyuhyun asked with smile.

“I’m just happy, with you, your family, us, the guys.” Kyuhyun face transformed into a wide grin and as fast Siwon circled his hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder as an instinct, he whispered sweet nothing to the younger’s ear. Kyuhyun believed in Siwon, he didn’t want to push Siwon to the edge, he knew Siwon tried hard to get his father’s consent, he just needed to have a little patient, he guessed.

“So you call me brother now?” Kyuhyun said while reading Siwon’s birthday greeting for him on the twitter.

“You mind? Your parents told me I’m their other son. So we-uh unofficially brother.” Siwon grinned earned him a light dig on his right side.

“Pabo!”

“But you love me right?” he giggled

“Not that much...”

“Yah!!!”

“Don’t you think we should stop this?” Kyuhyun said with an obvious changing of tone.

“What? I don’t want to start this kind of conversation, babe.” The last time they had this conversation, Kyuhyun and him were in the verge of breaking apart, he didn’t like where this off to.

“I didn’t mean that Wonnie, these massive fan services, shouldn’t we stop that?”

“Why should we? The fans like it very much.”

“Some fans like it, but others hate it. Besides, I’m concerning your father’s presumption about us. I don’t want him to think that we’re just fan service. I want him to see that we are in love, hyung.” He hanged his head low, sighing, he knew this is the tax they need to pay for their so called popularity. Siwon draw him closer, circling his both arms around the man’s body before him, settling his chin on top of his head.

“Hum...I never think about that before, but you are right baby, we should refrain ourselves from expose too much.” He patted Kyuhyun’s back and made themselves round in circle while hugging.

“It’s you, YOU need to refrain yourself from doing overboard action hyung.” Kyuhyun looked up and pointed Siwon on his chest.

“That’s because I love you so much baby.”

“Likewise, but we should take this as a proof that we are being serious.”

“Okay, I got it baby. I love my genius boyfriend very much.”

“Okay okay, now get away from me; I could sense people staring at us.” And then Siwon take off his hands from Kyuhyun’s waist, but they still enjoying their own little world.

It was their plan, decreasing their lovey dovey moment on stage. Siwon being the skin ship king went around with members on the stage, touching, groping, flirting and all, Kyuhyun feel relieved somewhat, that he didn’t need to have a high self control every time Siwon came closer, but the thing the one who saw it that way was them, not the fans, not the shipper. They made assumptions, conclusion came first without analysis and the one to be blamed was Siwon.

Then, came a time when Siwon was peppered with ruthless and painful words, from both his haters and fans. Little did he knew, he made it, he made people drape their hoping on him. He unconsciously feed the people’s crave at the very first time, fan services.

The next thing, he was torn between what he didn’t and what he did. He feed people-the one who wanted to see him do things- with his actions, the ones they wanted to see, the ones they wanted to hear, but other people bashed him, and that happened in reversal, he didn’t do anything, another ones chided him, debauchedly. The idea of Siwon being a skin ship were floating everywhere, he tried not to look at those bad comments, but he couldn’t help reading it through his mention box, he was very sad.

He loss for words and actions. The sheen on his eyes ceased to exist, like a sappy miserable wooden doll, being driven by a lot of people, some wanted him to be just like Choi Siwon, some wanted him to act like Super Junior Siwon, some wanted him to act as they please, and all others just simply wanted him to wither away, saying things they shouldn’t, d