Title: Do Me A Favor

Author: Paperdaisy

Genre: Romance, Slice of Life, Drama

Status: Ongoing, currently 10 chapters (Last checked at the end of May)

Over all plot:

When I read the discription of the story it actually managed to catch my interest. If I were to find the story on my own I would actually read it. Though a lot of things throughout the chapters are kinda cliched it works in the stories favor rather than against it and makes for very interesting reading because it is cliched but twisted a bit which makes it better. Most parts of the story feel highly relevant for what’s going to happen later in the story while some scenes feel rather detached from it. Examples are, the scene with Hanah and her mother in the sixth chapter and Ms. Lee’s introduction in the tenth chapter. However, since the story still isn’t completed I can’t nitpick it too much.

So over all the plot gets high marks for being interesting but I’ll deduct some point for it being slightly cliched.

14/20

Plot pacing:

When it comes to plot pacing it’s quite hard to decide whether it’s too fast or too slow. The first two chapters are nice, they’re kinda like a prolouge though I feel as though it could’ve been one chapter instead so it doesn’t feel like unnecessary reading. It’s precise and concise which is to be appriciated since a lot of authors rush or add details that don’t really matter. Though I would liked to have seen a deeper insite to Sehun and Hanah’s relationship since it’s hard to notice the differences in Sehun’s mannerism. And in some parts of the story it feels like it’s moving too fast or it’s not explained enough. Hanah and Luhan’s relationship is an example of this. At times it seems like their relationship developes over night, like when they first meet, and yes it is possible for people to feel an instant attraction between each other but since Luhan at first seems really ditatched with his emotions and Hanah as well since she seems to only care about Sehun, it’s hard to see how their relationship can grow so quickly. But afterwards, when they get together (oh my spoiler~) it seems like their relationship is barely going anywhere. There is no consistency in it, which throws the reader off slightly. It’s acutally kind of the same with Sehun and Hanah’s relationship.

Although it’s mentioned several times in the story that Sehun’s personality has changed since he went to China it’s hard to see because there was never a clear segment where you could really get a understanding of Sehun’s personality before going to China. Just the brief description of their first meeting. This makes it hard to understand Hanah and Sehun which in turn makes the plot a little confusing and disrupts the plot pacing. Also, which will be mentioned later in the review, the whole reason Hanah is doing Sehun this favor is because he wants revenge on Luhan, what is a little bothersome is that even after ten chapters we, the readers, still have no idea why. It makes it difficult to get into the story properly because there is no motive and no clues. It would be better if there would’ve at least been some kind of backstory by now, even just little bits and pieces, so that the idea of revenge is not totally absurd.

In some chapters I really do enjoy the pacing, where something happens all the time without it being too much to take in (which is partially because the chapters have a good length) and there’s enough happening for you to continue to be interested and not grow tired. Despite this, some parts of the story feel either detached from the plot, the scene with Hanah and her mother, or very rushed, Hanah’s relationship to Luhan and the prologue. This makes the plot pacing confusing at times since there is not continuity. That is definitely an area of improvement that can be worked on further. It does get better the longer into the story you get. Last complaint is that there is no backstory as to why Sehun wants revenge, which in turn stops the plot from developing. The reader doesn’t get any sympathy for Sehun’s actions which makes them seem unwarranted.

9/20

Characters:

Hanah: Hanah seems like a girl with a one track mind. Something that is really understandable since she is a seventeen year old teenager that is head over heels for a boy. In the beginning I honestly didn’t understand her at all. From what we read about her relationship to Sehun it seemed really farfetched that she would fall for him, since he didn’t seem like he was close to her and merely tolerated her existance. Something which confuses me, however, is that in the beginning of chapter two she is decirbed as sort of a social butterfly with a bubbly personality that can be friends with anyone and everyone. Despite that she doesn’t seem to have that many friends, is that because of Sehun(?), and in chapter four her personality is described as bland. It’s confusing, because a person that is known through a whole grade for being bubbly, sociable and good at making friends usually don’t have a bland personality because that wouldn’t get her anywhere. Also Hanah’s outter appearance is never descirbed which to me doesn’t make her real. I can’t see the character Hanah in front of me when I read and that makes her hard for me to grasp.

Sehun: Sehun is probably the character that frustrated me the most. Not because of his actions but rather because I have no clue as to why he does what he does. It confuses me to no end why he would want revenge on Luhan seeing as how the boy is practically depictured as a saint. This makes Sehun’s character unversitile and doesn’t build any sympathy for him as a character. It makes him slightly irritating and disrupts the plot. Also, since there has never been any clear scenes with Sehun’s personality before going to China, a personality which is allegedly a very good one, I can’t help but only see him as an because of how he treats Hanah.

Luhan: For me, Luhan is basically the same as Sehun. But whereas it’s to understand why Sehun would want revenge on Luhan – it’s hard to imagine that Luhan could’ve even done something bad enough for Sehun to desire breaking his heart. Of course, it could’ve been something Luhan did unintentionally, which then would be understandable but since there isn’t any back-story nor any clues as to what happened it’s hard to fully understand his personality.

Overall I’m still not sure where I stand with the characters of this story. Mainly I am fond of them, since I like the plot a lot, but there are some major complaints with them which disrupts my way of viewing them. A lot has to do with the fact that the characters aren’t verisitle. Where Luhan is just good and Sehun seems as if he’s just evil. This makes the characters very flat and eliminates any chances of gaining sympathy for them, something which is very important since you need to actually have sympathy for the characters to even care what happens to them. An area of improvement is definitely being consistent in information about the characters, bring their back story into view and also make it so that they have more than one side to their personality.

7/20

Language and grammar:

There is basically nothing to complain about when it comes to the language of the story. Most of the story is gramtically correct and not in any way overdramatic which is a clear plus. However there are a few awkward sentence structures but they can easily be fixed so it’s nothing big. For example "Once she saw Sehun in the hall, he looked a lot less emotionless as he usually looked." instead of using "as" here there should be "than". This is an example of a sentance that's slightly awkward since it's kinda wrong but you can still understand what it means. Try to work with idioms because that will create a more varied language. Of course no one is perfect so just continue to work on being balanced and nuanced and the rest will come in time. Most of the chapters are creatively writing style get better as the story continues.

Language is really good and getting better as the story progresses, big applause for that. Continue to work with idioms and also with synonyms because that will take the story to the next level

12/20

Personal Opinon:

The last part of this review is just going to be my personal opinon, which is based off of my preferences and my understanding. It doesn’t weigh as heavy as the rest of the review of course but I think it’s important that every author gets to look at their story through someone else’s eyes. The conclusion of this is that I personally really like the story and the plot. It’s innovative in a cliche way which is a favorite of mine. Of course I’d like the chapters to be longer, mainly because I’m a reading maniac, so that I could get a closer look at all the characters and all the parts of the story in a more detailed way. Especially since I personally prefer stories that are really descriptive (of course there is a limit). However, I don’t really like the characters because I can’t understand them and I have no sympathy for them or their actions. I can’t justify anything they do because I don’t have any feelings for them which makes it hard for me to care about what happens to them, like Hanah’s bullying scene or Sehun in general. This is a huge minus since I think it’s very important that the reader has feeling for the characters, even to the point where they want to cry if something bad happens to them.

12/20

Total amount of points: 54/100

Note: Now if you have any questions that aren't answered in the review feel free to pm me and also tell me what you think of it! Hope this helps you in your continuation of the story and writing in gerneral.