Juxtaposition:

*put side by side: to place two or more things together, especially in order to suggest a link between them or emphasize the contrast between them

*Microsoft® Encarta® 2009. © 1993-2008 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

When is the right time to hold on and to let go? How do you know which choice would be the best, not just for you and the other person, but also for the people involved in your lives? I have always been baffled with this concept. Sometimes I think that the right answer doesn’t exist.

                I thought for certain that she will always be mine, that I’ll be the only one who’d take on the role of shielding her from all sorts of evil that would dare mess her innocence. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, it was love at first sight. It was at that same moment when I promised to give her the best of my everything.

                But just as they always say, life goes on. Change is inevitable. No matter how hard I try to hold on, the time will come for me to let go….and sadly for me, that time is now. Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond joyful for her. I know she deserves this. I am not worried at all because I know deep in my heart, mind, soul, and bones (and every cell in my body) that I’m handing her over to the man who will bestow her that kind of love that I know I can never give.

                I thought I was prepared for this. I thought that I can go through with it without all the emotional warfare brewing within me. It’s a joyful and yet bittersweet moment. I wanted to bargain with God for the clock to reset. Even after all these years we spent together, I feel like it isn’t enough. I knew this day would come but I never gave much thought to the messed up emotions that would come along with it. I want to hold on, but that would be selfish. I can’t clip her wings and prevent her to fly. What kind of man would that make me? I can’t have her by my side forever. She has to go on her own way and though she promised that I’ll always have a special place in her heart, I knew that things won’t  be the same. Every memory flooded my mind and there isn’t anything I could do but to go with the flow and let it all sink in. This is the part where I have to let go, and frankly enough, I don’t think I’m capable of holding back my tears.

                I checked the time. Just 15 minutes left. Of all the hours I spent trying not to cry, the reality of the situation decided that now was the best time to unleash all these tears. I was sobbing. I knew that the sight of it was unpleasant and rather uncool for my ‘image’ but I can’t help it. Time is slipping away from me, and so is she.

                “Oh for crying out loud, oppa! Stop crying will you? You look like a mess! Yah! The last thing you want is to be photographed walking down the aisle with bloodshot eyes.”

                I turned towards my wife who was busy wiping my tears, fixing my hair and suit, in an attempt to make me look just as presentable as how the father of the bride should be.

                “I can’t help it, Hyun. Our baby is getting married! She’s no longer my princess! Waaah! It feels like yesterday when she just started walking and babbling her first word. How can time pass by so quickly? She’s getting married! I can’t believe I’m going to hand her over to another man! Waaah!!!”

                Hyun motioned for the rest of the entourage to leave us alone. She sat down beside me and held me in her embrace as I kept crying.

                “Aigoo, my nampyeon is a crying mess! Haha!”

                “Yah! Aren’t you the least bit sad that the last of our children is getting married and leaving us for good?”

                “Eyy. Stop being so dramatic. It’s not like they’re planning on living in another country and never going to contact us. Their house is just a thirty minute drive from ours! You weren’t like this when Jaehwa got married last year.”

                “But Jaehwa is a man! He can handle himself, I know that. Seohwa is my little princess. I can’t believe our baby girl is all grown up already! Isn’t this too soon?! Why aren’t you the least bit sad about this? Waaaahh!”

                “I’m more happy than sad. Our little girl has found the perfect man who’d love and cherish her for the rest of her life. Besides, don’t you remember the past 3 months I cried every night when the wedding preparations were in full force? I’m saving my tears for later on. You should try that oppa. The last thing we want is for us to look horrible in our daughter’s wedding photos, especially when we are walking down the aisle with her.”

                I looked up at her and realized she was right. Her emotional fits were much more severe than mine. It started with Jaehwa and Seohwa’s engagements, which only had a month interval. We haven’t recovered from the shock that our son has already proposed marriage to his longtime girlfriend, Kang Minjung (Minhyuk & Krystal’s daughter) when our daughter Seohwa happily announced her engagement to Lee Jaehoon (Jonghyun & Yoona’s son) . Both proposals weren’t preconceived so everyone was surprised about the timing and coincidence. It was then decided by the two pairs that Jaehwa and Minjung’s wedding would take place a year earlier than Jaehoon and Seohwa’s.

                Both wedding preparations took at least 2 years. Joohyun and I let the kids do all the work. Sometimes, Jonghyun, Minhyuk and I would find our wives huddled in a corner, several empty tissue boxes all around, as they reminisced and cried over the photo albums of our kids. The reality of the wedding only started to dawn upon me when I watched my son exchange vows with his beloved fiancé (now wife, obviously). I admit that I cried and felt emotional, but none of that compares to this one. I understand now why Minhyuk was such an emotional train wreck when it was his daughter that got married. He kept laughing at me since this morning as he teased,

                “It’s your turn to sob like a baby hyung. You’ll finally understand what I felt like a year ago! Hahahaha!”

                Joohyun held me closer and kissed my cheek.

                “It’s ok, oppa. It’s normal. Jaehwa and Seohwa can’t be our babies forever. The time has come for us to let them go. Things will change, in fact, it already has, and soon enough, they will have their own families. Don’t forget that we will always be a part of their lives and vice versa. They’re just a phone call away. Please don’t be sad.”

                I held her hand and smiled at her. How come she always knew the right things to say at the right time? Even after all these years, I have only fallen deeper in love with my wife.

                “Ok. I’m sorry for being such an overprotective father. I guess this wedding just made me realize so many things. It’s like wanting to hold on and letting go at the same time. I’m just being an irrational namja with all these mixed emotions. Sorry.”
 

                “Nah, that’s ok. I perfectly understand. I think you’ll get your turn of comforting me when they’re announced as husband and wife and I’d give off that speech during the reception. Just like with Jaehwa’s wedding. Do you remember how I was such a wreck last year and you had to finish the speech for me? I don’t know if I am prepared to have a repeat performance of that moment later on. Haha!”

                We both laughed. Jessica and Sunny (they were the wedding organizers) motioned for us (or rather, frantically waved and yelled) to get in place. As we walked towards where our daughter awaited us, I linked Joohyun’s arm in mine and whispered,

                “So I guess, after tonight…it’s back to just you and me.”

                “Definitely.”

                “I love you, Seo Joohyun. Always and forever.”

                “I love you too, Jung Yonghwa. Always and forever.”

                We smiled and I leaned in closer to give her a sweet kiss.

                “YAH! The two of you! Now is not the time for some PDA! Aish! Your daughter is the one getting married, not you. Save the honeymoon or whatever makeout session for later. Everyone is waiting!”

                Ah…some things never change. We shook our heads and laughed as we obeyed my sisters-in-law.

                The juxtaposition of holding on and letting go – two contrasting ideas that I never once thought I’d come to appreciate during this type of occasion. Holding on to the memories, promise, and assurance that our daughter will have only the best in her life, and letting go of her hand so that the man she’s destined to be with can take it in his, and together, intertwine their destinies. Just like Hyun and I, when we took the leap of faith to make the Yongseo couple go from reel to real.

                Who said it’s impossible to hold on and let go at the same time?

                THE END.

Author’s Note:

So, how was it? I’d like to give myself a pat on the shoulder for being able to keep this short! Haha! I made it! Woohooo!  LOL. Ok, ignore me. I’m just glad I was able not to fuss too much over details and write this all in one go.

Just a trivia: the original title for this shot was The Art of Letting Go, but as I always do, when I searched through AFF and found a lot of fics bearing the same title, I had to consult my BFF Encarta for a better synonym. Juxtaposition…ohhhh….big word.  haha! ok, again, I’m rambling nonsense.

Again, for those with a soompi account, don’t forget to vote for Yongseo!

http://forums.soompi.com/discussion/comment/26992519/#Comment_26992519

You can check out my other works too:

• J.S.Y. (oneshot/two-shot; COMPLETE)
• Redefining Us (ongoing)
• Broken Hearted Arrow (COMPLETE)

That’s all. Thanks for reading and hope you liked it! Have a nice day!