More than half the time, he tended to forget that before Super Junior, before their trainee days, and even before SM Entertainment auditions, that Eunhyuk belonged to Junsu first.

 

Even after every wide, gummy smile that spread across those full lips or how those dark caramel chocolate eyes brightened every time they locked with his. With each brush of their skin against each other when they hugged, held hands, or danced together, he still forgot.

 

And really, it wasn’t his fault. Nor was it anyone else’s in Super Junior. Even though Eunhyuk and Junsu texted each other or called each other and even how they worked in the same damn company together, their schedules were too full.

 

Too hectic.

 

So, it was easy to forget that those two had been childhood friends. That they had started dancing together, possibly even singing and rapping together and who-knows-what-else. It was those thoughts that made him jealous the most.

 

Those moments when he pondered what they could have done together while he was home with his family, never knowing that another person he had so much fun with existed out there.

 

But, as he stood next to Hyukjae, frowning and disapproving, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was being -slapped right in the face.

 

Each wide smile - bigger and happier and so much more breath-taking then with him or the others.

 

The brown eyes that crinkled at the corner to the point that it was worse than Yesung.

 

There they went again, hands brushing each other and shoulders bumping as they hung off each other.

 

He locked gazes with one of the other members of Super Junior, seeing the same annoyed, jealous, and sad tint in his eyes as well. They all felt like that when they saw the two of them together. People thought Heechul and Hankyung were close or Donghae and Eunhyuk were close or even Donghae and Yunho since they were raised in the same town but that wasn’t true.

 

Not when you put Hyukjae and Junsu in the same room, or on the same stage, or even in the same conversation. No one had any of those memories that were so touching or heartfelt or precious because no one else had a friend so great, so close, so joint at the hip, that they joined the same company with the same dream, succeeded, and could still slip into the same routine even if they hadn’t seen each other after so long.

 

It’s why no one ever bothered them when they got together. It’s why no one ever interrupted their conversations. It’s why no one could even hold onto their jealousy long enough to turn it into a grudge.

 

Sure, maybe they tried but one glance back at those two and every negative feeling, every hostile thought, just…. left.

 

Because he and all the others knew they couldn’t breach a bond like that, knew they couldn’t come between something that close-knit.

 

He envied how it always seemed like they fell into their own little world, forgetting the fans, the schedules, the exhaustion, the aching bodies, all of it. Like it didn’t exist or ever existed. Almost to the point that they somehow found a way to travel back in time without leaving the here and now. How they didn’t even have to say a word, just make a passing glance or minute expression.

 

A hand on his shoulder made him turn.

 

“Glaring at them like that won’t change anything, Kyuhyun-ah.” It was their leader.

 

He scowled and brushed the hand away. “He belongs to us, Jungsu-hyung. What right does that guy have coming in and taking him away without even trying? That has to be what irritates me the most and he doesn’t even notice.”

 

“They’re best friends, what else do you expect?” The words were stated in a light chiding tone but it didn’t hide the jealousy he could also hear.

 

Kyuhyun snorted, lip rising in a slight sneer when Junsu jumped on Eunhyuk’s back, hands curling on his developing arms and legs curling around those slim hips. “You can’t tell me that during one of the times you two have slept together, that he hasn’t whispered that bastard’s name just before he falls asleep.”

 

The silence spoke far more than any words could have ever hoped to achieve.

 

It wasn’t like any of them knew, hadn’t seen or guessed at how close those two had really been. Some of them had even walked in on them, lips locked or hands around each other. Not to mention the mussed hair, plump lips, flushed cheeks, or the rumpled clothing back during the start of each of their debuts or even their trainee days.

 

Maybe he hadn’t personally, but he had heard stories from when his hyungs would get drunk or they were feeling particularly reminiscent. Hell, it was even worse repeating what he had heard to Zhou Mi and Henry when they had joined the group.

 

It was like Eeteuk-hyung said though. What exactly could they do?

 

He was crying again. Maybe not in a way that was loud or pitiful or even noticeable but they could tell. Could see it in the way he carried himself. The way he pushed and pushed and pushed everything he had into what he was doing. The way his dancing seemed to become that much fiercer or how his smiles became more curved and quirked up more into smirks.

 

It was easy to see the dark circles under his eyes or the cold difference that showed up whenever a member, host, or some other artists weren’t talking to him. How he pushed himself into always doing something, stretching his already limited time even thinner so that he would only be able to collapse at the end of the day.

 

It killed them all to watch. To be able to do nothing. They had tried, each one of them, unsuccessfully to make it easier or better. He would laugh off their attempts and tell them he was fine even though it was obvious it wasn't. they still tried, whether they were on a show or performing, it didn't matter; they still tried.

 

After all, losing a friend was one thing but it was another to know that that friend not only walked away from a life that had been dreamed about and planned out since they were young but to also say things that no one which were true or not.

 

They had to push the resentment back so many times since Junsu left as it clawed at their insides. Had to overlook the heartache that tore at them and to a lesser extent the heartache that tried and was still trying to tear at Eunhyuk because as much as he lost a friend and brother, they still had to think of Yunho and Changmin. They had lost just as much as he had but three times worse with Junsu, Yoochun, and Jaejoong.

 

To not have known what they were going through, to not see what was in front of them, to not even know what they would do. And then to hear of the things they spoke of.

 

Leeteuk had admitted it to them, in the privacy of the dorms, about how Yunho had confessed that he honest to God did not know if anything they said was actually true or accusations.

 

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I haven't really decided on whether or not I want to add anything else to this. I might at some point but for right now, I'm just kind of stuck on it.