one year ago

Ahri was anxiously bouncing up on her tiptoes as she waited patiently by the shady tree in the school quad. She bit her lip and looked around for a certain someone. The particular person she searched for wasn't anywhere to be seen among the school crowd. But she didn't worry, because he would always come looking for her, just like she always did for him. Finally he came stumbling through the crowd, his hair bouncing around. Ahri's face instantly lit up at the sight of her boyfriend, her first love: Yoo Youngjae. 

"Youngjae oppa!" She waved enthusiastically. Youngjae blankly looked for the one who called his name. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Ahri by the tree. He strode to her.
"Hey beautiful." He chimed sweetly when he took Ahri's hand and spun her in his arms. She giggled in the utmost delight like a child getting lifted into the sky by her father.  However her innocent smile soon faded when Youngjae didn't say anything else. 

"Is that all?" She inquired. Youngjae's eyebrow rose with an idiotic and clueless smile still plastered to his face. "You forgot." Ahri pushed away from Youngjae and crossed her arms. Youngjae stared at his girlfriend for a while as he tried to remember what he must have forgotten. He finally laughed, bringing a reassuring smile to Ahri's face. 

"Silly. I didn't forget. I was distracted by your beauty that I didn't get to say it." His sweet words brought a healthy blush to Ahri's face and she stepped closer to Youngjae as he approached her to take her in his arms again. He kissed her nose. 
"Happy birthday. I don't have your gift. I left it at my house when I was in a rush. I'm sorry." He apologized. And of course, Ahri couldn't be angry with him, especially with the innocent eyes and caring smile Youngjae carried. 

"It's okay. Then you have to make it up to me with lunch, hm?" Ahri curled her lips in a cute smile. She would always do it to get Youngjae to do her a favor. He always said it was her cutest feature. But this time Youngjae didn't smile. 
"Ah, I can't." He sighed. "I...I have a a theater meeting today." His head fell to the side in disappointment. Ahri sighed too. Even on her birthday, her boyfriend couldn't get a break from theater practice to celebrate with her. But she knew acting was Youngjae's passion, other than singing, so she let him slide another time. 

"I'm sorry baby. Tomorrow I'll make it up to you, hm?" Youngjae peeked under Ahri's face that stared sadly at the ground beneath her feet. "Hm? Forgive me this time okay?" Youngjae cooed and brought Ahri's chin up with a delicate finger. He flashed a handsome smile at her to break through her. Ahri's eyes looked up at his flawless face and beamed. She could literally feel all the butterflies fly up her stomach when he smiled like that. And the thought of it only being for her, like Youngjae told her, made her feel all the more loved. She forgave him yet again. 

"Okay," she gave in. "Then I'll see you after school?" Again, for the nth time, Youngjae sighed. He bit his lip and slowly shook his head. 
"It's kind of an all day practice. I won't be done until later tonight." He told her. Ahri's shoulders fell and she crossed her arms in annoyance. 
"Then I'll wait." She told Youngjae stubbornly. Youngjae chuckled like he just saw a angry child who couldn't get the plush she wanted. 
"No. I don't want you to wait around for me."
"You don't want me there? Is that it?" Again, Youngjae chuckled amused. 
"No, it's not that. I don't want to worry about you is all. If you wait for me, you won't be able to eat. And you'll be tired. Don't you have an important exam tomorrow?" She did, Ahri remembered. "I don't want to distract you. Just go without me okay?" Youngjae's hand reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Ahri's ear, not forgetting to add a sweet smile to convince her further. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked. Slowly, Ahri nodded but this time didn't smile. Youngjae let out a breath in relief and leaned in to kiss Ahri's forehead. 

"See you tomorrow."
"Sure." 

With that, Youngjae left toward the direction of the theater room; he didn't turn back for one last glance. 

Ahri was sitting at a blue table all alone studying her mind away for her exam tomorrow. On her left was her statistics textbook and on her right were all her notes. She took turns giving her attention to both tools as she studied. It sounded inefficient to most people, including her friends, but it helped her focus. Ahri liked being aware of her surroundings. As long as the study materials were around her, she would feel compelled to look at them, eliminating other distractions. 

"Hi Ahri-unnie," a petite, young girl, about two inches shorter than Ahri comfortably took a seat across from her at the table. "Whatcha doing?" She asked with her naturally bubbly self. Ahri looked up when she heard her name and smiled at the girl. 
"Hi Minah. I'm just studying for an exam I have tomorrow." Minah hummed in a polite indifference then remembered something. 
"Oh! Isn't your birthday today unnie? Happy birthday!" Minah threw her hands in the air like she was tossing imaginary confetti and giggled. Ahri laughed at the girl's cuteness and thanked her. "Why are you here all alone? Shouldn't you celebrate with my oppa?" Minah inquired. Again, Ahri laughed at how cute Minah presented herself, even when asking a question. It was no wonder they were related; they both had cute smiling eyes, full cheeks, and outgoing personality.
"Youngjae has a theater meeting today. So I'm just by myself today." Minah pouted as a sigh escaped her lips. 
"Wow. What a meanie." She grumbled. "Oh unnie!" Minah exclaimed when she remembered something else. "This must be yours then huh?" She placed a small white teddy bear holding a miniature balloon on a stick between them. "Oppa left it in his room this morning. I stole it when I went to borrow his laptop." Minah snickered mischievously then urged the fluffy bear toward Ahri. Ahri was in her own little world as she stared at the teddy bear. She the top of its head and smiled. Youngjae told the truth and really did remember and had gotten her something. She snapped back into reality when Minah stood up to leave her company. 

"I have to go unnie. But um," she paused to look at her bejeweled watch, "it's pretty early so maybe oppa hasn't started practice yet." Ahri nodded and took the bear in her hands. 
"I'll go visit him before he starts." She said. Minah nodded then all of a sudden gasped. 
"Ah! Don't tell Youngjae oppa I stole that! I'm sure he wanted to give that to you in person. Promise okay unnie?" Minah leaned forward and held her pinky out to Ahri. They locked pinkies and touched thumbs to seal the secret and then Minah was off. 

Ahri set the bear on the opposite side of her to watch her pack away her things with its beady black eyes. When she finished and slung her backpack around her shoulders she took the bear by the hand and held it in front of her face. 
"Let's go Gomi." She walked toward the direction with her new friend. 

Ahri met door to face with the theater room. In all honesty, she had never been to the theater room before, despite her boyfriend being a total fanatic over the arts and knowing this was where he took shelter if he was ever frustrated with anything. His theater room was like her library. When Ahri wanted to escape reality, she would dive into a different one within the pages of a book. 

Ahri was expecting a surprised look on Youngjae's face when she came to visit under short notice. She expected him to look at her with big eyes, looking down from the teddy bear in her hands up to her eyes, which he would look into lovingly when he saw her receive the gift he accidentally forgot. Ahri had the whole movie played in her head, and the film was stuck on replay, especially the part where Youngjae held his gaze with her...

However, her movie wasn't playing as she anticipated. Youngjae wasn't the one surprised in reality; it was Ahri. 

Through the crack of the classroom door she saw the stage, no spotlights, no props, no crew workers running about. All she saw was an empty stage except for two people. One of them was Youngjae. The other was a girl. Ahri couldn't recognize the girl's because her back was turned toward Ahri. All she saw was the girl's long, auburn hair. The girl turned around when Youngjae turned her by the shoulder. Ahri recognized the girl by her profile. It was Han Sunhwa. Ahri knew her from one of the classes they used to share. The two of them used to share art class together until Ahri decided to drop when she discovered painting wasn't her forte. 

Ahri observed her boyfriend and Sunhwa's exchange from behind the classroom door very nervously. A snarl of questions made their way inside Ahri's head, which she angrily tried to push away. She watched intently when she saw Youngjae reveal something from behind his back. Ahri turned her head to peek in a different angle for a better view of what was going on. Youngjae held out a white teddy bear with a miniature balloon on a stick. It was much too similar to the one Ahri held to her chest. She squeezed it tighter to her chest and kept her eyes on the two on stage. 

They're acting right now. Ahri tried to convince herself. But it wasn't enough. She choked back tears in when she saw what she wished wasn't real: on stage, Youngjae kissing Sunhwa. Ahri witnessed it all: the gift, the kiss, the way Youngjae's eyes closed when his and Sunhwa's lips found each other. She wished she hadn't seen it. Ahri regretted coming all together. If only she had listened to Youngjae and went home. She would have her ignorantly bliss birthday with the idea of Youngjae only loving her.

Ahri came home and walked passed her family like they weren't there. She went straight to her room and dropped her things lightly in their designated places. She set Gomi down on her desk and she sat in front of it. She her radio that blasted her favorite band in an attempt to drown out the noise of her thoughts. Ahri stared at the bear for a while. She was like an empty shell when she didn't move or react to anything around her. 

"They were acting, right Gomi-ah?" She asked the bear. Gomi stared back with its beady black eyes and didn't respond. 
"It was during theater so they it must have been." She explained. Again, Gomi smiled still at the girl with silence. 
"Why don't you say anything huh Gomi-ah?" Silence. 
"You knew right? You sat in Youngjae's room this whole time and didn't warn me." The bear stayed smiling. 
"You didn't tell me! You let me go there when you knew Youngjae was with someone else! You lied to me!" Ahri started to yell. As her shouts boomed, so did the music. 
"You lied to me! Gomi you lied! You lied!" She kept yelling. By now Ahri had tears streaming down her face. She put her head down on her desk and began to sob. 

Her empty shell finally cracked, and so did her reality. She released all the tears, all the emotion she held within her. Was anything ever real to begin with? Did he ever tell the truth? Did he even love her? What wasn't lies?

Ahri continued to cry and Gomi still remained a silent teddy bear. She cried until no more tears could be produced. The last thing she whispered that night, her head laying on her desk, burned her throats when the word left her lips. 

"Youngjae..."