I was trapped. Trapped in Wonderland, in a Hateful Wonderland; people here seem lost, hopeless and angry. In a world where you can’t trust anyone, you learn how to survive, overcome difficulties alone. You learn how to fake smiles every damn day. You learn how to be a likable person for everyone. And that mask slowly became me.

In this Hateful Wonderland, this was the only thing to be happy. Happiness? I didn’t even know what that was. I thought that happiness was just something that comes from fairytales that were absolutely forbidden for children to read.

 We weren’t allowed to be happy in this rotten world.

I was trapped, trapped I said. I was lost and I lost hope until he came into my life, and changed everything. He… with his smile made me feel the warmth. He removed brick by brick the wall I built to keep the people away from me.

I was afraid of him, he was breaking the rule, he looked so happy. We weren’t supposed to be happy.

I couldn’t come near him, I didn’t want to. He came and destroyed everything that I built. He came and made me a positive person that likes sappy love letters and romantic movies. I hated it. I hate how he changed everything. He was there for me but… I wasn’t. I was afraid that I could be greedy. I wasn’t there for him, for his sake.

He told me he liked me, I didn’t... I loved him.

He told me he was in love, I didn’t. I was afraid.

He understood me. Despite of everything,