Such is Life

There were erratic fidgets and sounds of hushed coughs as the wafting smoke from the surroundings enveloped four small figures. Garbed in muddied clothing spoiled by playing on the moist morning lawn, they crouched around a man with larger build. The man laid spread across a garden seat, nonchalantly puffing long drags of a half-smoked . The curious souls that surrounded him strained to open their damp, irritated eyes against the lingering smoke that clung to their bodies. Despite of their discomfort, they refused to remove themselves from Jinhwan, the adrenaline of rebelling against their apprehensive mothers already appealing to them in spite of their young ages.

“Mum said it’s bad to smoke!” one exclaimed, whilst fanning the fetid fumes away from his face. The layer of smoke stubbornly resisted dissipation as it concealed the man’s creases and thick contours that outlined his coarse face.

“Yeah, she said people go to heaven because of smoking,” insisted another, as he widened his eyes, attempting to stress the enormity of the iniquitous offence. The stark comment provoked tugs at the corners of Jinhwan’s mouth as he rashly tossed the exhausted cigarette on the ground, near the children’s feet. High pitched shrieks immediately followed as the children scrambled out of the way.

“Relax,” a raspy voice uttered, “These beauties make me healthier. I haven’t been sick in ten years.” Jinhwan pried open his cigarette packet, eyebrows furrowing as he realised another packet had been consumed. A new packet was removed from his pocket and a sigh of relief released as he hastily popped the cigarette into the edge of his mouth. Reverberating sounds of laughter radiated from Jinhwan as he stared at the children’s gaped faces, who were awestruck. Quick glances in the direction of the house were made every so often as they were afraid of what their parents would say. They cuddled closer to the ground each time they were entertained, as each puff of smoke continued to whisk away in the air.

- - - 

The clinking of glass and the rowdy outbursts filled the evening under the night sky as Jinhwan and his male friends chattered enthusiastically around a table decorated with scattered snacks, stacked empty beer bottles and cigarette packets. Suhyun sighed as he observed the routine scene in front of him, usually lasting until sunrise. His husband’s boisterous laughter becoming more pronounced as the night progressed. Concerned about the neighbours, who had sent complaints many times before, he carefully approached his husband.
“Honey, can I talk to you?” He cautiously clutched his arm.  The men around the table pause momentarily.
“What do you want again?” Jinhwan sharply replied, not bothering to look at Suhyun. “Don’t disturb us.”
“Please,” he tightened his hold on Jinhwan’s arm.
“What part of leaving don’t you understand?” Jinhwan shouted as he turned around and jerked his hand out of Suhyun’s grasp. The harsh yank caused Suhyun to fall onto the cold, hard ground right beside his husband’s feet. A sharp, quick gasp was heard as the force of the yank pulled Suhyun down onto the cold, hard ground. Unknowingly, Suhyun found himself staring at his husband’s deep brown, yet emotionless eyes once again. Hopeful, he shakily held his hand out towards Jinhwan, Suhyun’s eyes shut tight as tears threatened.

Suhyun’s hand was not embraced by the warmth that he longed for, as when he opened his eyes, Jinhwan’s broad back faced him. He slowly picked himself up, wiped his tears and limped back inside to the comforts of his bedroom.
 

- - - 

The suppressed heavy feeling in his bladder woke Jinhwan up in darkness. He silently cursed as he tasted the thick metallic tang integrated with the phlegm in his mouth, the throb of his joints torturing him. He heaved his feeble body up with two slim hands and stumbled out of the cradle of his bed, being careful not to stir his husband beside him. The chilly white pavement covering the hallway beneath him caused an eruption of vigorous quivers as he leaned against the wall of the long corridor to catch his breath. With a frown on his face, he winced in agony with every dragging step as he willed his aching limbs to move towards the distant toilet. Small rapid wheezes resonated in the empty hallway, the acceleration in the rise and fall of his chest cavity accompanied his need for release. His left foot caught the edge of a tile. Jinhwan crashed down as his weakened reflexes were unable to catch himself against the fall. He shuddered, refusing to admit that he was unable to pull himself up. He struggled to pull one leg up and tried the other, but both slumped lifelessly to the ground. His heart sunk. Tears pooled in the corner of his eyes, disheartened by his weak and useless self. 
“Suhyun” he weakly called his husband. “Suhyun.” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he sprawled on the cold hard ground.
“Pathetic,” he sneered at himself, fully aware that it would be useless. Suhyun was a deep sleeper. He allowed slumber to take him, feeling the warm trickle down his thin legs.
 

- - - 

A young man groomed in a formal black attire stiffly stood before a newly fashioned gravestone. “Was he happy?” he blankly asked no one in particular, his tone laced with disapproval. His focus unwavered from the picture of the older, skeletal man neatly positioned on the new grave. He strolled away from the grave and recalled the image of a smirking man expertly handling a lit cigarette, shrouded in a growing layer of thick, white smoke against the blinding sun.