There are two souls sitting on the rooftop, one head on another’s shoulder, waiting, wishing. They count the stars, laugh at little jokes picked from the past, knuckles brushing, words hanging at tips.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been a lot happier lately.”

“I have, haven’t I?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it just seems right. What’s there to be unhappy about anyway?” Jongin presses his lips together and nods to no one in particular.

Kyungsoo ponders, then agrees.

“Aren’t you afraid of heights? You refused to go on the ferris wheel with me that time,” Kyungsoo frowns, “were you lying?”

Jongin laughs, “I wasn’t. I am, very much afraid, but you only live once, right?”

Kyungsoo glares at the younger man, “I’m rolling my eyes. Can you see that I’m rolling my eyes? Oh, look, I can even see the bottom of my brain.”

Jongin doubles over with laughter, he laughs as hard as he can, for as long as his body can withstand. Kyungsoo’s sarcasm is so bad; it’s so bad that it’s hilarious. Jongin loves it.

Jongin loves him.

--

There are two souls lying in between messes of white blankets, panting, smiling. The air is still, and all of a sudden the ceilings feel too high, the bed too wide and an impending barrage of loneliness waiting to hit Jongin. He turns, and the face of a tiny man greets him.

“Hyung, you know I love you, don’t you?”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo smiles, “you know that I do.”

“How sure are you?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Sure enough to get married?”

Kyungsoo moves back slightly, eyebrows slightly raised, “Are you proposing?”

“Maybe I am?”

“Then I am rejecting. This is not how I saw it happening.”

Jongin sits up in a grin, “So you saw me proposing to you. Or did you plan to propose to me instead?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes—“

“All that matters is that I’m rejecting you. Please try again later,” Kyungsoo huffs and pulls the blanket away from Jongin’s bare chest. He’s teasing him, Jongin gets it, and of course, he plans to try, again and again, in all equivalents of laters.

After all, there isn’t enough time to wait and think. There aren’t enough moments to hesitate. Jongin wants a future, something long-term, something permanent, something, someone like Kyungsoo.

“Hyung.”

“What?”

“Maybe you’d consider changing your mind, after,” Jongin pulls Kyungsoo back towards his chest and leans forward, lips almost touching his ear, “this.”

Jongin loves him, and he’s more than pretty sure Kyungsoo loves him back.

--

There are two souls, one lying in a hospital bed, another at his side. They are smiling, chatting about what they’re gonna do after the sick man gets discharged, planning road trips, food hunts—a future.

“So when do you think you’ll be discharged?”

“I don’t know,” Jongin smiles, “maybe in like a couple of days, a week tops? They said they were going to run tests and give me medicines and . You can’t say no to the main men.”

“Do you feel okay, though?”

“I feel fine, hyung.”

“I mean, I don’t know how, what’s it called, epiglottitis? I don’t know how it works or how the treatment works but you’ll tell me if you feel not okay right? ‘Cause I can’t really tell anything or if—“

“Hyung,” Jongin presses his palm into Kyungsoo’s, “Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

“Really?

“Really,” there is a sudden silence in his head, “Why don’t you go get me a glass of water? My throat is burning.”

“Water? Okay, yeah, I’ll go get some.”

The silence expands, warping into something tangible, something quite dark and covers his vision. Jongin still sees, but it’s getting kind of blur. He watches his boyfriend scurry to find a nurse, then a cup, then giggles inwardly at him swearing at the horrible service, grumbling about how hard it is to get things done around here.

And then he relaxes, and drifts into slumber.

--

There are two souls, both separated by distance and time. One lies in an even more constricting hospital bed with more tubes running here and there in the most horrible shade of green and another in a cab stuck in the middle of the homestretch jam, fingers trembling as he tries to find an email hidden under all the other emails that he didn’t bother to read.

Kyungsoo did receive an email from Jongin many weeks back. It was titled