Kyungsoo wasn't supposed to feel anything. He knew he shouldn't have any feelings of excitement, giddiness - or even pain. But he did.

The moment he saw Luhan walk in he felt his heart unexpectedly jump to his throat and his lips uncontrollably widened to a smile. It had been more than a year already since the last time he saw Luhan - since that day that Kyungsoo broke up with Luhan. But still it seemed like Luhan had not changed one bit. He still has his boyish smile that seemed like it could light up the room, his tousled hair which is actually styled to look like he didn't comb it, his laid-back sense of style that even though he's only wearing a shirt and a simple jeans Kyungsoo had to admit he still looks cool and handsome.

Kyungsoo had wanted to stand up and walk over to Luhan but what he saw next made him freeze in his seat. He trailed his eyes over to Luhan's hand which was clasped tightly around another guy's hand. Kyungsoo's smile slowly faltered, his heart immediately constricted and he felt a sudden pang in his chest.

"Luhan!" Chanyeol beamed obliviously.

"Hey guys," Luhan greeted at the group.

Chanyeol had thrown a party and from the amount of people present, it looks like he invited every person he had ever met in his life. And fortunately - or maybe, unfortunately, Kyungsoo wasn't sure yet - Luhan is also one of them.

"This is Minseok," Luhan turned to the guy next to him - the guy that Luhan is holding hands with, Kyungsoo duly noted.

"My... boyfriend."

Kyungsoo doesn't understand why but somehow the words "my boyfriend" knifed through him. It had already been a year since their break-up and he was even the one who called it off, so why does his heart feel like it has been sliced open and poured thoroughly of a thousand lemons?

Suddenly Luhan's eyes seemed to have finally found Kyungsoo in his seat.

"Kyungsoo..." Luhan smiled at him. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah..." Kyungsoo murmured, his face suddenly becoming a mask. Keeping a straight face, doe eyes meeting another pair of doe eyes, he forced his mouth to twitch into a smile, "It's been a long time."

____________

For the whole night, Kyungsoo watched as Luhan and Minseok exchanged tender touches and close whispers in the ear. Luhan has always been touchy-feely, even back when they were still together. Luhan, like Kyungsoo, was a man of few words. They were both the quiet types, they were less expressive with words. But what Luhan lacks in words, he makes up for it in actions. Kyungsoo can be affectionate on some occasions but it was always Luhan who initiated every move and every wordless gestures passed between them.

When they were still together, walking side by side to each other, shoulders bumping, Luhan would subtly link his fingers with Kyungsoo's, starting with Luhan's pinkie finger lightly grazing Kyungsoo's forefinger until eventually the spaces between Kyungsoo's fingers are fitted perfectly with Luhan's. Even sitting beside each other, watching a movie or even if surrounded by other people, Luhan would ever so casually drape his arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders. And during the nights that they would share a bed, Luhan would wrap his arm around Kyungsoo's waist and pull him in an embrace until Kyungsoo was snuggling on Luhan's chest and his face was nestled near the crook of Luhan's neck, that he could practically inhale the taller boy's sweet and comforting scent.

Somehow, Kyungsoo now realized, he misses it all.

____________

They first met on a cold Thursday afternoon at the bus stop. Kyungsoo was walking towards the bus. It had been raining that morning so Kyungsoo was careful not to step on any puddles on the sidewalk. The bus started to lurk forward, threatening to leave. He didn't want to get left behind and to wait for the next bus to come so he sprinted the remaining distance quickly. When suddenly he felt his shoe slip on the wet pavement. Then out of nowhere, a strong pair of hands grabbed Kyungsoo by his shoulders to keep him from falling on the ground. When he looked up, he felt his eyes go bigger from shock to see a cute guy looking down at him. The guy looks strikingly pretty with small petite face, straight-bridged nose, and soft delicate lips. As Kyungsoo got lost in the stranger's soft and concerned eyes, he saw the bus move from the corner of his eye. He quickly straightened and mumbled a quick thanks before boarding the bus.

As Kyungsoo went to bed that night, he found himself thinking back to that guy in the bus stop and wishing he could get to meet him again. Oddly enough, Kyungsoo's dreams were filled of soft eyes staring down at him.

____________

It had been a few days already since Chanyeol's party. Kyungsoo was strolling down the street, trying to clear his head of a certain doe-eyed boy holding hands with another guy.

When Kyungsoo turned at the next corner, he realized he was going to pass that restaurant - the restaurant that he and Luhan used to go to. It serves both Chinese and Korean delicacies that it seemed to be more convenient to eat whenever Luhan craves for his hometown's dishes or simply when they are just looking for a place to hang out.

As Kyungsoo neared the place, he curiously glanced at the restaurant window and he instantly stopped in his tracks. Luhan and Minseok were inside currently having lunch. Kyungsoo stared as Luhan threw his head back laughing that the crinkles by his eyes had clearly appeared.

Kyungsoo suddenly felt an irrational hatred for Minseok.

____________

The second time they met was on a Friday afternoon at the same bus stop. Kyungsoo was walking idly towards the stop, his head hung low. The next bus won't arrive until fifteen more minutes so he made his way towards the bench first. When he finally looked up, he realized someone else was also sitting on the other side of the bench. He gazed with wide unblinking eyes at the guy who had saved him from falling yesterday. He was smiling at Kyungsoo. For a moment Kyungsoo was about to get lost in the guy's charming smile until he realized he was probably staring a little bit too long already so he willed his body to move and sit at the bench. Silence enveloped them until the other guy suddenly spoke.

"I'm Luhan."

"Kyungsoo..."

When Kyungsoo's bus finally arrived, he had already agreed to go on a date with Luhan.

____________

Back then, their Saturdays were usually spent in Kyungsoo's place.

On one particular Saturday, Luhan came over and brought a DVD of the latest Naruto movie. He knows the shorter boy likes animes and Kyungsoo had been telling him how he still hasn't had the chance to watch it yet. Halfway through the movie, a sudden realization struck into Kyungsoo's mind.

"Luhan?" Kyungsoo asked, head turning to Luhan.

"Hmm?" Luhan hummed, eyes still glued to the TV.

"Remember when we met? How did you end up at the bus stop?" Kyungsoo asked quietly. Luhan's apartment is located on the other side of the city. Under certain circumstances, they probably wouldn't have met at all.

"I just visited a friend," Luhan replied, still focused on the screen.

"And the next day you visited your friend again," Kyungsoo stated.

"I didn't," Luhan said.

"Then what were you doing at the bus stop?" Kyungsoo asked, frowning.

"Waiting for you," Luhan answered, shrugging his shoulders.

Kyungsoo clearly taken aback went silent for a couple of seconds. When he recovered he asked, "Why?"

At this, Luhan finally turned to look at Kyungsoo in the eye and answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because I like you."

Kyungsoo looked at Luhan in the eyes until his eyes travelled down to Luhan's lips and suddenly he wondered what it would be like to have Luhan's lips on his. Unable to hold it in any longer, he closed his eyes, leaned forward and pressed his lips on Luhan's. He felt Luhan stiffen in shock and for a moment he panicked but suddenly he felt Luhan kiss him back.

Kisses with Luhan, Kyungsoo found out, were sweet like wine. Luhan's soft lips and light feathery touches remind him of the dangerously addictive and intoxicating alcohol.

It wasn't long until Kyungsoo's back finally hit the couch. As their kiss deepened, so did their need and desire for each other. Kyungsoo's hand found its way to the back of Luhan's head, mussing Luhan's hair, while his other arm s around Luhan's back, his nails scratching and digging into the taller boy's shirt. He could hear his heart beating wildly in his ribcage as Luhan's lips trailed its way lower and lower, lightly at his neck then nipping at his collarbone.

Kyungsoo is usually patient among other things but as he felt Luhan deliberately ing his pants he bucked his hips upwards in desperation. He felt Luhan smirk at him in between placing love bites at his neck. Luhan swiftly placed both of his hands on Kyungsoo's waist, pinning him down. Teasing him, Luhan grinded his groin towards Kyungsoo's crotch, which made him gasp loudly.

Needless to say, both of them missed the movie's ending, but they were perfectly fine with that.

They had a lot more fun not watching anyway.

____________

After that incident outside the restaurant, Kyungsoo became reluctant on leaving his apartment. What if he would see Luhan and Minseok again? But as his refrigerator slowly became empty, he had no choice but to go shopping. He figured it would be harmless. He would just do it as quickly as possible plus, he thought, what are the chances of bumping into Luhan, right?

Apparently... the chances were big.

He was standing on the canned goods aisle, carefully inspecting each product and mentally listing some recipes, when he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned around to see Luhan smiling cheerfully at him. He awkwardly stood there, gawking at Luhan until finally he found his voice.

"Luhan... Are you... doing some grocery shopping?" Kyungsoo mentally cursed at himself. Of course Luhan was grocery shopping, what else would a person do in a supermarket?

"Yeah... you?" Luhan asked.

"Mhmm..." Kyungsoo nodded. He immediately noticed the lack of Luhan's company.

"Is..." Kyungsoo hesitated. Is it okay to ask if Minseok is with him?

Clearing his throat, he finally croaked out, "Is Minseok with you... right now?"

Luhan's face showed a mild surprise, "Oh... ah no. He's at home."

Kyungsoo tried his best not to show the relief he was currently feeling.

"Oh, I have to go... but it was nice seeing you again," Luhan smiled at him.

As Luhan turned to walk away, Kyungsoo blurted, "Wait!"

Luhan looked at him over his shoulder, eyebrows raised.

"M-maybe we should get lunch s-sometime," Kyungsoo stuttered.

"Yeah. We should," Luhan agreed, smiling brightly at him.

As Luhan walked off into the distance, Kyungsoo felt a small glimmer of hope bubble inside him.

____________

Kyungsoo found it weird how the small things seemed like the only things he could remember. He kept thinking back to those days when he and Luhan were still together, but the things that were replaying in his head were those mundane memories that they spent together. Short but sweet moments that were unappreciated at the time that it was happening but now, Kyungsoo would do anything to get those moments back.

He remembered spending one cold Autumn day with Luhan. They were walking around Gangnam district, shopping for clothes when Kyungsoo suddenly felt something wrap around him. Luhan had taken his own jacket off and placed it on Kyungsoo. When he asked why, Luhan had apparently noticed him often rubbing his arms and because "Kyungsoo doesn't wear enough clothes during cold weather." The jacket was a bit big for Kyungsoo, its sleeves were almost covering his whole hand, but Kyungsoo still wore it anyway.

He remembered experimenting and making some dishes that he created, and Luhan would taste every single one of them. He would eat and swallow any food that Kyungsoo cooks, even though some of them were barely edible, as Kyungsoo finds out later when he took a bite at them. When he asked why, Luhan innocently replied, "Because you cooked it."

He remembered always waking up before Luhan because Luhan is a sleepyhead who would rather wake up at noon. He would often find Luhan sprawled on the bed sometimes even squishing him. When Kyungsoo would finally get out of the bed, Luhan would so suddenly pull him back in, making Kyungsoo question if Luhan was just faking sleep the whole time. Sometimes, Kyungsoo would squirm and push Luhan off of him but Luhan would just wrap his arm and leg around him tightly, rendering him unable to go until finally he would just give up. His back against Luhan's chest, he could feel Luhan chuckling in victory. They would end up spending the whole morning like that, cuddling and entangled in each other's limbs.

Kyungsoo wonders why he broke up with Luhan in the first place.

____________

A few days after their encounter at the supermarket, they had finally agreed to have that lunch that Kyungsoo had suggested. They caught up with news about each other's lives. As their lunch continued, Kyungsoo noticed Luhan being a little bit preoccupied. He would have asked Luhan about it, if only he wasn't so bothered by his own thoughts and feelings. Ever since he saw Luhan again, his feelings for the older guy had also resurfaced. He can deny it as much as he can but the truth is he wants Luhan back. But is he already one year too late?

After they finished their lunch, Luhan offered to walk Kyungsoo to the bus stop. They walked in silence, as both of them were deeply immersed in their own thoughts. As the all too familiar bus stop came into view, Kyungsoo slowly fell back a step behind Luhan. He quietly watched Luhan's back, trying to summon courage for what he was about to do.

"I still love you..." Kyungsoo whispered, barely audible but Luhan still heard it.

They both stopped walking.

"I know I brought this on myself because I did this. I broke up with you. I have regretted doing that ever since," Kyungsoo said, pouring all his heart into those words.

He watched as Luhan slowly turned around to face him. There was undeniable pain in Luhan's eyes.

"You broke my heart," Luhan enunciated every word, bitterly.

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo murmured, lowering his eyes.

"You clearly didn't think it through 'cause I had everything for you... for us. I didn't even know we had problems. One day you just came up to me and said you wanted a break-up. You blindsided me," Luhan stated, almost accusingly to him.

"I broke it off thinking you'd be fine but now I feel sick learning what I put you through," Kyungsoo admitted.

"I slept on your doorstep... begging for one chance, and now that I've finally moved on you say that you want us back?" Luhan asked incredulously.

Kyungsoo shut his eyes, remembering that day. He was inside his apartment, pretending not to hear Luhan knocking on his door and asking for forgiveness if there was ever something that he had done wrong. The next morning when Kyungsoo opened his door he found Luhan sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. He propped his elbows on his knees and he held his head on his hand. Kyungsoo will never forget the red puffy eyes that looked up to him that day, so far from the soft doe eyes that he met at the bus stop.

"Can't we try one more time? I'll make it better," Kyungsoo pleaded.

"No, Kyungsoo, you don't understand. I'm with Minseok now and..." Luhan paused, biting his lip, "we're getting married."

Kyungsoo felt the ground shift beneath his feet. He couldn't have possibly heard it right.

"I didn't know how to tell you..." Luhan explained softly.

Kyungsoo felt the air getting out of him. He should cry. He knew he should. Luhan just told him he was getting married to someone else.

But he felt too numb to cry.

____________

Regret.

That was the exact word to describe what Kyungsoo was feeling. He only had himself to blame.

Mistake.

That was what Kyungsoo did. He let go of the best thing that ever happened to him.

____________

The day of the wedding finally arrived.

Kyungsoo wasn't sure why he was going. He knew he was only setting himself up for pain. He was shocked that he was even invited. He took it as a sign that Luhan still wanted to be friends with him, even after everything that happened.

As he settled himself on one of the pews, he took a look at Luhan. He was of course wearing a suit and his hair was styled into perfection but underneath all that Kyungsoo could see how nervous he is. He saw Luhan notice him. Luhan offered a small smile, his eyes bespoke of gratitude that Kyungsoo came to his wedding. Kyungsoo cracked a half-smile, he knew Luhan needed some encouragement.

As the wedding march started playing, Kyungsoo's heart also started breaking. And when Minseok finally walked down the aisle, he watched as Luhan's face literally lit up. He was gazing at Minseok like he had found the most precious gem in this world. He now understands that Minseok really makes Luhan genuinely happy now. It was the most painful realization that Kyungsoo had ever fathomed.

The strain and emotional joyride that Kyungsoo had been feeling for the last couple of weeks finally struck him. He had never given himself the time to grieve, to cry. He felt his breathing hitch.

And the tears finally came streaming down his face.