i'll show you love

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love –♦

I.

//

“– come on, it’s only one date.”

Donghae walks in the Starbucks with his earphones on, whistling softly along the melody he is listening to. It’s the first time he drops by this place since there’s a perfectly respectable coffee shop at the second ground of the building he works in, but he has decided to try something new and coming here seems like the best option. As soon as he steps in, there are coffee fragrances floating around in the air and brushing past his nostrils, smelling strong and warm just the way he likes it.

It’s early in the morning therefore there’s only a couple of people in the coffee shop. The place is bright and warm, and Donghae starts feeling satisfied that he decided to come here. He looks around in interest, carefully reading the menus hanging above the main counter while he approaches idly. There’s only one man waiting in line, who has propped his elbow on the edge of the counter and apparently is trying to ask the barista out.

“Just for dinner,” he insists, apparently unaware that Donghae is waiting for his turn to order. “And then I’ll leave you alone if you still don’t like me. Ok?”

Donghae eyes him with annoyance and longingly stares at the donuts showed in display. Discreetly glancing up to see what the barista’s reaction is, he has to restrain himself from snorting when he sees him heave out an exasperated sigh.

“No, it’s not,” he grits out as he continues to prepare the customer’s order with harsher movements than necessary. From his tone of voice, Donghae can easily guess that it’s not the first time he refuses his advances. “I don’t want to, and it’d be nice, Sir, if you could stop bothering me while I’m working.” He glowers at him fiercely, before adding “Here is your order.”

Hissing out the price due, he curtly hands over a fuming cup of coffee. The other man tries to insist some more but the moody look on his face quickly dissuades him to say anything else. After muttering some incoherent apologies under his breath, he finally gives up with a disappointed look. Donghae watches him walk away with amused eyes before he finally turns around to face the barista.

He looks kind of handsome, to be honest; he has single-lidded eyes, colored with a sparkly brown. His jawline and cheekbones are sharp and manly, just like the rest of his features, which Donghae finds to be very charming. When he tilts his head in his direction to take his order, his plump lips then stretch into a small smile and curl over pink gum and white teeth.

He’s not exactly his type but Donghae decides being picky won’t get him anywhere. And truth to be told, the guy is attractive, even if not in the common sense of the word.

“Good morning, Sir,” he greets a bit tiredly. Donghae grins back and quickly glances at his nametag; it says his name is Hyukjae. “What can I serve you?”

“A White Mocha, please,” he says pleasantly after having greeted him back.

“Ok – can I have your name, please?”

Wow what.

Aren’t you being a bit fast, gentleman.

Donghae has to pause for a second and blinks at him in surprise – until he remembers he’s at Starbucks and it’s normal to ask for a name here. It honestly makes him feel kind of disappointed.

“Uh – Donghae,” he replies in a mumble when Hyukjae waits expectantly. “I mean I’m – yeah, Donghae.”

The other boy looks up at him with amusement before he turns around and fumbles with coffee and milk, and other stuff Donghae doesn’t have the heart to recognize. Instead, he tries to check Hyukjae out and be discreet about it at the same time, but since he’s one of the clumsiest guys alive, it’s not very easy.

Well he’s turned his back to me, so I guess it’s not that hard?

“You know I can feel you staring at me, right?” Hyukjae suddenly speaks up.

.

Donghae jumps out of his skin and has to stop himself from yelping. The single-lidded barista glances back at him over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow.

“I – uh – sorry.” Donghae clears his throat and starts to run his fingers on the counter with awkwardness. “I just – I heard your conversation with the other customer, that’s why.”

Hyukjae snorts as he pushes buttons on the coffee machine and a loud whoosh comes out. “Don’t tell him I said that, but he’s stupid for even trying. I don’t do dates, or boyfriends, and other stuff like that.” He pauses briefly before laughing shortly. “Actually, do tell him that. Maybe he’ll leave me alone, then.”

A whole of five seconds goes by while Hyukjae shakes the whipped cream tumbler, and Donghae tries to process his words.

“Why?” he finally ends up frowning in puzzlement.

“Why do I want him to leave me alone?” Hyukjae blinks at him confusedly. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“No – no. I meant, why won’t you do dates? Don’t you want to find someone and fall in love?” Donghae doesn’t really have the time to think about how indiscreet and blunt he’s being right now with someone he barely knows, but there’s something in Hyukjae’s sarcastic tone of voice that ticks him. He briefly wonders if it’s because the barista simply prefers to have one-off flings instead of a serious relationship, but something tells him it’s not the case.

Since when do you even dare believing in your instinct, you prick, a nagging voice cynically snorts in his head. He decides to ignore it.

Hyukjae stares at him without a word, as if sizing him up, before he slowly hands him his White Mocha. Donghae thanks him with a mumble and pays him, but doesn’t move away and firmly waits for an answer.

“Because I don’t believe in that . Love is just a ing lie,” he finally drawls out. “I’m certainly never going to fall in love.”

And with that, he excuses himself and disappears in the backroom, while Donghae can only gapes at the empty space in front of him. He stands frozen in place before panicking the out of himself a second after because he’s already ten minutes late for work.

But while he’s madly running back to his workplace, he still wonders; who the hell wouldn’t want to fall in love, though?

II.

//

“Why don’t you want to fall in love?”

That’s the first thing Donghae tells Hyukjae the second time he meets him at the same Starbucks coffee shop. It’s Monday afternoon, one week later after the first time they saw each other – and it’s been exactly one week since Donghae couldn’t stop wondering the reasons why the barista wouldn’t want to fall in love.

After all, love is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world. It can make you sad, and sometime even hurts you, yes, but Donghae is ready to face all these only if it means he will find someone special to him. Therefore he can’t understand Hyukjae’s categorical affirmation that he will certainly not fall in love. This sentence rings with too much finality in Donghae’s head and he really doesn’t like it; it’s almost as if the other boy has given up on all hopes. He has managed to keep his thoughts for himself for a week, but the need to know became too strong, and now there he is, bravely staring at a very surprised Hyukjae.

“Sorry what?”

The coffee shop is distinctly more crowded than the first time Donghae came, but he doesn’t care (not really).

“I said, why don’t you want to fall in love?” he repeats louder, which earns him curious looks from the other customers.

Hyukjae gapes at him as if he’s crazy, and Donghae honestly can’t really blame him for it. If he had been in his shoes, he probably already would have punched him in the guts for asking this kind of personal question. But even if the barista tries to glare at him and hisses that it’s none of his damn business (which is kind of true, he realizes a little bit sheepishly), he firmly stands his ground and waits for an answer, just like the time he asked him why he wouldn’t do dates. Except this time they are not alone, and people are starting to eye him with annoyance.

“Take an order or just go away,” Hyukjae grits out at him, looking around a little helplessly. “I don’t have the time for that .”

“Then I’ll wait for your shift to be done,” Donghae’s stubborn reply comes out. “When do you finish?”

Hyukjae hesitates a little because he truthfully thinks that Donghae is the weirdest guy he’s ever met. The wiser part of his brain tells him it’s better to tell him to off and leave him alone, but he also has the feeling that the other man won’t budge away until he gets his answer. Sighing heavily, Hyukjae finally glares at him one more time, before he hisses “In two hours. Come back at this moment. Now off so I can do my job, you ing weirdo.”

*

“What the is wrong with you?”

Hyukjae glares fiercely in Donghae’s direction as he walks up to him at the end of his shift. The other man is waiting by the French window of the coffee shop, sitting on an armchair and listening to music. Despite the withering look painted on his face, he still hands him a cup of coffee before he flops down on the chair in front of him; he’s exhausted and he can already feel a headache forming in his temples.

Smiling gratefully as he holds the warm cup, Donghae thanks him and takes a short sip, until he looks up in surprise.

“White Mocha?” he asks, then blinks in surprise when Hyukjae nods tiredly. “That’s what I ordered last time,” he says. “You remembered.”

It’s not really a question but rather an affirmation, and Hyukjae isn’t sure whether he’s supposed to say anything back or not. Sighing, he decides to make a quick compromise and simply grunts in return.

“Thank you!” Donghae happily thanks him once again, taking a long gulp this time.

“You still have to pay for it, though,” he huffs, and the other man only chuckles and nods in agreement.

While Donghae enjoys his hot drink, Hyukjae takes the time to really look at him (and with clearly more discretion than the dude will ever have), but he still doesn’t know what to think of him. He looks like a nice guy, but the way he bluntly asks questions about his personal life is a bit puzzling.

Not to say complete rude, but Hyukjae tries to be tolerant.

“So,” Donghae eventually speaks up after wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “Tell me; why don’t you want to fall in love?”

Hyukjae grimaces slightly and fidgets uncomfortably on his chair. That's exactly what I was talking about. “Are you always this blunt?” he asks moodily. “It’s rude.”

“I know,” Donghae grins sheepishly at him, and the barista has to admit he looks sort of cute. “I’m sorry. But I – I’m really confused as to why you wouldn’t want to fall in love with someone. And I tend to get carried away when something holds on my attention. Sorry,” he repeats.

You don’t say, Hyukjae snorts inwardly and doesn’t make any effort to hold back his exasperated roll of the eyes. “Well isn’t it obvious?” he sighs finally. He can see Donghae straightening up in interest from the corner of the eyes, and can’t fully understand why. “Love is too complicated and hurts you all the time. It's painful and can make people sick. I don’t understand why anybody would want to experience something like this.”

“But love also brings you happiness,” Donghae argues and leans slightly forward with a thoughtful look. “It’s one of the things that can give you the will to wake up every morning. It gives you one more reason to be grateful that you’re alive.”

“I’m perfectly grateful of my life without having to fancy someone. Love doesn’t even last for life.”

“Of course it does.”

“Three years.” Hyukjae states flatly. When he hears no response, he glances up at Donghae to gauge his reaction; he is staring at him with a frown furrowing his eyebrows, but also with curiosity. “Love lasts exactly three years. One when you get blinded by pheromones, one when you take care of the child your very own nature pushes you to produce, and the last one when you start to realize that things haven’t been all that perfect.”

Donghae blinks at Hyukjae in bewilderment as the latter starts playing with the end of a green straw. His frown deepening a little, he looks at the single-lidded barista with speculative eyes. He already knows he’s going to ask something stupid, and that there’s high chances Hyukjae is going to sue him for ual harassment (which he still can’t really blame, because really), but he can’t really bring himself to keep his mouth shut.

“Then, do you want me to prove you wrong?”

Hyukjae’s head snaps up in shock. “What.”

“Well I could – I could take you on a date and show you that maybe all of this is actually worth it, you know? I mean, maybe I’m not the perfect boyfriend but I can hope it’s going to give you an insight of what you’re currently missing.”

The barista stares at him as if he is crazy, his eyes wide with shock. Unable to utter a word out, he blinks one, two and then three times to be sure that he is not actually dreaming this whole unrealistic scene. What kind of people ask this kind of thing to someone they barely know? He has to close his eyes and breathe deeply to process Donghae’s words before he slowly reopens them – he is still there. He tries again, closing and opening the once more, but he is still firmly looking at him with determined eyes. Although this time, concern briefly crosses his face.

“Are you okay?” he asks politely. “Are you having an epileptic fit? Maybe I should bring you to a hospital.”

Hyukjae glares at him fiercely. No, I’m not, is what he hisses at him while he strongly considers calling the police and kicking him out the coffee shop.

But before he can have the time to formulate any kind of answer, Donghae suddenly jumps on his feet, looking panicked as he stares at his watch.

“!” he curses under his breath. “I forgot I had dinner with Heechul hyung!” He turns to look at Hyukjae, gives him a beaming smile before he says “Well that’s the plan, then! See you later!”

Before Hyukjae has the time to remind him that he hasn’t agreed to anything at all, and certainly not his stupid plan that is supposed to make him realize he should try to find love, Donghae is already out of the coffee shop and of sight.

“You didn’t pay for your drink, you ing !”

III.

//

The next time Donghae appears at Hyukjae’s workplace, the latter is a little bit more prepared for it. Lazily standing behind the main counter, he is taking care of some easy orders while Henry, his younger colleague, is struggling to bring coffee beans out of the backroom. He vaguely envisages stopping what he’s doing to help him, but to be frank he’s a lazy and he really doesn’t have the heart to work any more than that is.

Plus, Henry is a nice (and naïve) kid, so he knows he’s not going to have troubles for letting him do all the tough work.

That’s when Donghae walks in, while Henry accidentally bumps into a counter and clumsily tries to make his way through with two heavy bags of coffee beans in hands. Wearing his usual bright smile, his hair are slightly disheveled because of the wind outside, and there’s a thick scarf wrapped around his neck. He’s holding a blue beany in his hands while the tip of his fingers are red from the cold. Looking at him moving further in with skeptical eyes, Hyukjae warily wonders if he’s here to actually ask him on a date.

He has thought about it since the last time he met him, wondering whether it would be wiser to bring a pepper bomb at work or not, but there’s something about that man that tells him he’s not that dangerous. Plus, Henry told him that Donghae came to the shop a few days ago when it was day off and had been very pleasant and nice with him.

Apparently, he does not look like a stalker or “someone who wants to kidnap you and inseminate you so they can sell your child in China or Thailand” (Henry's words, definitely not his).

“Hi!” Donghae beams at him upon reaching the main counter. “How are you doing?”

Hyukjae narrows his eyes at him suspiciously before he grunts out. Even if he is not a stalker, it does not mean he has to trust him, right?

“Fine. What do you want?”

“I’ll take a Caramel Macchiato, please,” he says confidently, before tilting his head at him in mild amusement. “You know, you’re a very cranky person for someone who has such a pretty smile.”

“Shut. Up.” Hyukjae glares at him, flushing in embarrassment. “I do not have a pretty smile. And are you here to take out me on a date or not?”

Donghae laughs loudly, earning a curious glance from Henry. The latter dangerously stumbles behind Hyukjae but he pays him no attention as the other man speaks up again.

“Whatever you say, Cranky. And of course not, why would I? I don’t even know you.” He pauses briefly, smiling at Hyukjae’s stunned expression. “I’ll wait for you by the French window, come see me whenever you have a break!”

Spluttering at him in shock, Hyukjae watches him walk away as he tells him to bring his drink to him, whistling carelessly.

“You make absolutely no sense, you great dip!” he whisper-yells at him.

At that moment, there’s a loud thud behind and the sounds of countless coffee beans scattering on the floor reach his ears.

“Hyung.” Henry’s voice comes muffled and Hyukjae can easily guess that he’s sprawled on the floor where he fell with the bags. “Hyung, I think I need help.”

Closing his eyes, he exhales shakily. Keep cool. You gotta keep it ing calm.

*

Donghae lets out an eager sound when Hyukjae moves up to him with a dark expression and his hot drink on a plate. Thanking him happily, he watches him put the mug on the small coffee table in front of him before straightening up with a moody sniff.

“Thank you,” Donghae smiles up at him before he takes the mug in hands. He looks at the lack of syrup atop of the whipped cream, then frowns a little. “Is that really a Caramel Macchiato?”

“Nope,” Hyukjae smirks at him evilly. “It's definitely not.”

“But why,” the other whines childishly. “I’m your customer! I should be the one who gets to choose what I drink!”

“Because you’re a prick, that’s why.”

With that, he walks away with a huff, leaving Donghae alone with his wrong order. Pouting, he takes a reluctant gulp of the hot drink. Hot White Chocolate.

It’s actually quite good.

*

“So what’s your name?” Donghae asks when Hyukjae takes a five-minute break and flops down in front of him with a Strawberry & Crème Frappuccino.

“It’s written on my nametag, you absolute sod.” comes the grumbled answer.

“It’s true that it considerably lessens the effects of surprise,” the other sighs thoughtfully. “Well my name is Lee Donghae – I’m 23. And you?”

“I’m also 23, and my name is You – in only three characters.”

“…I’ll just call you Cranky, then.”

*

“Do you have any siblings? – Aoutch.”

Hyukjae looks up at Donghae to see him grimacing in slight pain as he sticks his tongue out. Glancing at the black straw he’s glaring at and then at the hot drink he tried to sip from, he easily guesses what happened and can’t help laughing at him mockingly. The other man glares up at him, his thin lips pursuing into an embarrassed pout.

Okay he’s kinda cute.

“You’re so stupid,” he states with a cackle, and gets up to go back to work.

Donghae watches him move back to the counter with disappointed eyes, until the single-lidded barista throws him a glance over his shoulder.

I have an older sister. Donghae smiles.

*

What’s your favorite color?

“Definitely not blue,” Hyukjae automatically replies as he sips from his Flavored Steamed Milk (he added strawberry syrup in it, and it’s just delicious).

Donghae looks at him with confused eyes. “Why?”

His nose scrunching up skeptically, he eyes his blue beany and blue shirt. Donghae follows his line of vision and glances down in perplexity, until he gets what Hyukjae meant. Looking up, he glares at him with annoyance, but the barista can clearly see the amusement dancing behind his eyes.

“Not funny,” he still grumbles.

*

Did you ever have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Hyukjae pursues his lips into a reluctant pout and resolutely looks out the window instead of Donghae. The latter smiles discreetly, propping one of his elbows on his knee and holding his face with his palm. Although the barista obviously tries hard to do something about it, he still looks incredibly cute under all the prickles.

As Donghae continues gazing at the single-lidded man, the latter mumbles something under his breath but it’s too low for him to get it.

“What?”

Hyukjae’s lips tighten into a tight line before he snaps his head up and glowers at him. “I said none.”

Blinking in surprise, Donghae tilts his head to the side in what he thinks is simple curiosity. However, the empty cup he receives square in his face the second after somehow tells him he’s been showing the wrong emotion.

“Don’t ing look at me with this kind of pity,” Hyukjae hisses dangerously at him.

Oh ok. My bad.

*

Cats or dogs?

“Dogs!” Hyukjae immediately replies, looking genuinely excited for the first time today.

“Really?” Donghae exclaims cheerfully. “I have a dog; its name is Bada.”

Hyukjae snickers, his eyes twinkling. “It somehow suits his master’s name, right?” he brightly smiles at him, making Donghae’s heart quicken a little bit, until he seems to remember he’s supposed to be cranky and goes back to sulking. “Mine is Choco,” he mumbles.

“I thought you liked strawberries?”

A haughty glare is thrown in Donghae’s direction before he can hear a reluctant grumble. “I really like chocolate, too. Is that a crime?”

*

Favorite movie?

“Harry Potter, without hesitation. Or maybe One Piece? But that’s not a movie, is it? Untouchable is really great too, but I really like The Avengers as well because there’s lot of superheroes, and –”

Hyukjae is babbling, but Donghae finds it so charming he doesn’t say anything and earnestly listens to anything he has to say. Even when he starts criticizing Titanic, which is his favorite movie (but he somewhat feels that Hyukjae is only trying to and that he actually really likes it, too).

*

Has your sister even been in love?

Hyukjae narrows his eyes at him suspiciously and stops on his lollipop (which kind of turns Donghae on, but he doesn’t think it would be good to mention that in a polite conversation (ha)). “Why do you want to know?”

Shrugging, he takes a tentative gulp of an Espresso con Panna, and grimaces at the bitter taste. Hyukjae snorts at him, shaking his head at him in disbelief and muttering under his breath I told you that you wouldn’t like it, you kid.

“Just being curious,” he eventually answers, choosing to ignore him and end this really not tasty drink because he still has his pride.

The barista hesitates a little before he grumbles “Yes, she has.”

Looking up from the revolting dark liquid in his cup, he nods with a sympathetic face. “It didn’t end up well, I guess?”

Hyukjae blinks at him, before frowning slightly. “Eeh – no? They’re still together. Have been for five years, now. Her boyfriend told me he wants to propose not so long ago. What makes you think that?”

“Oh.” is the only thing Donghae can utter. I thought it was because of someone’s else experience, maybe…

*

How many children do you want?

“We can’t have children,” Hyukjae scoffs at him. “We’re both men. Don’t tell me you don’t know the basics about making babies, Lee Donghae. I won’t give you the talk at the age of twenty-three.”

Bursting out laughing (and admittedly taking a bit (a very small one) of Hyukjae’s breath away), Donghae stares at him with shining eyes. “Of course not! I mean – yes, I know. Who doesn’t? I mean –” he shrugs. “I never said our children, did I. But – well, we can always adopt, right?”

Hyukjae rolls his eyes and goes back to playing at Candy Crush on his smartphone. “Shut up, or I’ll have to punch you, you brat.”

Donghae chuckles and cheerfully says “You wouldn’t.”

*

Donghae rubs painfully the sore spot on his jaw Hyukjae has just punched, a grimace plastered on his face. A bunch of people looks at him curiously, snickering under their breath, while the barista has gone back to work at the main counter. Every now and then, he throws a murderous glare in Donghae’s direction, his eyes flaring in indignation.

Are you still ?

Donghae guesses he can understand. He might even have deserved it.

*

“Are you done with your stupid questions, or should I punch you some more?” Hyukjae hisses venomously when he reluctantly walks up to Donghae.

The man has been there the whole day, and even if he starts regretting playing along his stupid offer, he’s probably the most rentable customer of the day. Flopping down on his usual armchair in front of Donghae, he sends a warning glare in his direction before he steals a piece of his Raspberry Blueberry Doughnut.

The other looks up at him, unconsciously bringing a hand up to touch the red spot on his jaw, before he smiles at him apologetically.

“Not really, no,” he admits with a sheepish grin.

Sighing heavily, Hyukjae slumps lower in his armchair and wait for the next question with a glowering look plastered on his face. It’s not exactly that it’s bothering him, because it admittedly has been the funniest day he has spent for a very long time, but it’s kind of embarrassing and he doesn’t want Donghae to think he’s actually enjoying himself.

Because he sort of is, if he doesn’t have any choices but to be honest.

“Do you still live with your parents?”

Surprised, Hyukjae looks up. “My parents?” he blinks at little, before looking out at the window with pursued lips. “It’s – well, I don’t know them.” Biting on his lower lip, he gets lost in his thoughts for a brief second. “Noona and I lived in an orphanage as long as I can remember. I had a few friends I really cared about, but they all left.”

It’s faint and almost imperceptible, but Donghae can suddenly hear an ounce of bitterness and sorrow behind the usual sarcasm and snarky remarks.

“Even the adults. All the people I used to love left me one by one when I was at the orphanage.”

“But wasn’t it because they found families or something?” Donghae asks gently, but he knows that he shouldn’t sound like he pities Hyukjae if he doesn’t want him to prickle up.

Hyukjae shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “Probably. But they still left. I don’t resent them or anything but they were my first friends. It still hurt, no matter what.” He pauses for a moment, fiddling with a spoon that came with the Cheesecake Brownie Donghae ordered. “Everybody leave us at some point. We can’t do anything about it, even if we want to keep them as close as we can, and never let go. Even love. And it .”

His voice is quiet and unsure while he tries to avoid Donghae's eyes, and it makes him want to give him a warm and tight hug, just so he can't stop looking so vulnerable.

And that’s when Donghae finally understands.

But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was –♦

So I split this oneshot up because it's already 10 effing Word pages, and I'm still nowhere near to be done /hurrr. It really didn't come out the way I pictured it in my head, and it's really silly. I feel kinda sorry for those who expected a lot from this fic now, haha. Sorry folks :'<

And apologies for the "selling children in China and Thailand" :( I hope I didn't offended anybody? Anyways, it's Henry's words, definitely not mine ;)

Thank you for reading! Please remember to leave feeback <3

P.S: 100+ subscribers for this , you guys are too precious