"When the rain fades away, maybe my pain will too" I said smiling bitterly. I, Kim Jongin, feel empty. Lost.

Walking around like a phantom, without a reason, without an effort. Why? Why can't everything work out like I want it too?

"I'm sorry, Taemin-ah." I whispered ghostly, tracing where his figure use to lie, next to me. I missed hugging him, holding him, loving him.

Black. That's what I feel. Gaunt. Dread. Misery. But, why can't I feel regret? Why did Taemin have to die? He left me.

Flashback

-

Taemin-ah? Please, say something. Anything. I screamed in frustration, sadness, I was, trapped.

In another world. Where I wasn't meant to be. This world wasn't meant for me, nor was the fate that struck Taemin. He wasn't supposed to die.

No, I was supposed to die. Why did he have to step in front me? I was supposed to get hit by that car. The monitor beeping with a flat line on it, was supposed to be beeping for me. It didn't have to end up like this. Why? The rain, showered upon me, as showing me it's pain for me. It's grief.

My salty tears merging with the rain itself. No one would've noticed, if I were to die too right? No one understood. No one did.

So, as I stood in the rain, holding on to that little thread of hope, of Taemin, I promised Taemin one thing. As I held onto his small, limp, petite body, I promised him, I would debut, for him. I promised him, I would work twice as hard to fulfill my dreams. To become famous.

So that Taemin's death wouldn't have been for nothing.

-

End of flashback

The rain showered furiously, like that night.

Tonight, was the night, the incident happened. Tonight, was our 3 year anniversary. Tonight, was the night I promised Taemin I would debut. "I'm almost there, almost there" I whispered the end.

Holding on to that thread of hope, just like I did that night. Kai. Kai would be my stage name.

Taemin used to call me that. He said it was, special. Unique. And that no one could take that away from me. 3 more months. That's when I was going to debut.

"Please, hang on a little longer, I promise." As I whispered, hoping Taemin was cheering for me, my heart suddenly felt a pang of regret. Never, have I felt that. Finally, finally, maybe it's a sign. That one day, everything would be all right.

Maybe one day, the sun would shine. Show a glimmer of hope. Just like that glint of hope I held onto, that night. One day, I promise Taemin, that small thread of hope, it'll emerge into something bigger.

A blanket of hope. Of dreams and happiness. And there, will be the stories of us, woven in to it. Our hopes and dreams. Struggles. Hardships. It'll all be there.

I won't fail to disappoint you Taemin. I don't know your reason for jumping in front of that car, instead of me, but all I know is that I'll make your death one that's sweet.

Bittersweet.

You're death, won't be for nothing. So there, all I ask in return, is for you to cheer for me. To cheer for me and my dreams. I'll finally debut Taemin-ah.

Aren't you proud? Finally, you might actually be able to have a death, that's serene. Rest well Taemin-ah. Please.