Perhaps Nichkhun was a total fool, thinking that he and Victoria were meant to be, thinking that everything he felt for the other was returned.

 

Because it wasn't.

 

It was never really him.

 

.

.

.

 

Ever since the beginning, when Nichkhun's heart fluttered on the first episode of We Got Married, pacing back and forth in the tiny elevator, anxious to see who his new spouse was, the fact it was Victoria alone had blown him away. A beautiful, elegant, kind and interesting woman of going to be his, and Nichkhun had no problem claiming that.

Maybe he let himself fall in love too quickly, since the thin line between reality and fantasy had become blurred. Fans would constantly ask of their relationship, which made Nichkhun feel strange on the inside. The more he talked about Victoria in public, or anywhere else for that matter, the more he fell deeper and deeper in love; fondness for her name continuing to grow. It didn't help that his JYP family constantly , comments such as, 'You've really fallen for her', or, 'You must be happy', heard on a day to day basis.

Nichkhun never really minded that much though, since he always did have an attraction towards her, and everything around him continued to nurture his fantasy.

 

At first, Nichkhun would constantly think about it, this marriage he and Victoria had on set, but it was often too stressing to question and he would often just let it be. He would save the thought for another time. Perhaps it was because Nichkhun at this point in time had already fallen in love, or maybe he realised he would soon become overly fond of Victoria, and was trying to stop it from happening, since he knew, they would both have to say goodbye sooner or later. Either way, Nichkhun didn't want to think about it.

 

Before starting We Got Married, he was warned by everyone around him about the three principle rules that came with appearing on the show:

 

 

 

 

Those three rules were to be followed, that's how the show was planned to run smoothly. So when Nichkhun was told this by the staff, he nodded and agreed. He didn't think it would be so difficult following them, but soon the words became lost in Nichkhun's head as all he could think of was Victoria. He had to admit, sometimes, Nichkhun forgot it was a show, molding fantasy and reality together (at some point, with the way Victoria smiled so sweetly and the way her eyes sparkled so, Nichkhun swore that she had returned what he felt. He had honestly thought Victoria was his for a moment, or a couple moments, every time she grinned at him). Victoria was always bright, always smiling and always kind, but to Nichkhun who was unfamiliar with how she usually acted, he felt special. Nichkhun failed to realise, Victoria was like that to everybody. 

 

The day Nichkhun finally plummeted to Earth was the same day he had seen Cho Kyuhyun, the maknae of Super Junior, for the very first time. With Victoria. He was filming something at either KBS, SBS or MBC, what though was blurred, as Nichkhun tried over and over again to forget the scene.

 

On that day, Nichkhun was walking down the halls, simply bored and looking around the building to see what he could find. Something interesting was what he wanted, and something interesting was what he received. But of course, it wasn't the type of 'interesting' Nichkhun wanted.

As Nichkhun walked passed the stairs, he heard a giggle, a laughter that could never be mistaken for anyone else's; Victoria's laughter, there was no doubt about it. But it sounded so much more bouncy, so much more pleasant and sweet, which was hard considering she was naturally a bubbly person. Nichkhun had never heard her sound so lively, and that made his stomach begin to knot, body quickly tensing. Nichkhun swallowed deeply. He didn't know Victoria could laugh like that. Nichkhun began to shake with the thought that he was never able to make her laugh with such joy.

So who was?

 

With a body that trembled at the edges, Nichkhun took a couple steps back to the stairs. He had to admit, fear had suddenly overrun his senses. With silent feet, Nichkhun made his way up the stairs, then hearing then a low laugh, husky and rich, something that he had suddenly begun to envy. Whoever owned that voice had made Victoria so happy, just like he wanted to.

As Nichkhun reached a turning point on the stairs, he crouched down, peaking just past the curve. With that though, his eyes widened, shaking, tears suddenly coming forth from where they once hid. Nichkhun stared at the sight, shocked, betrayed.

 

On the stairs were two people, Victoria (Nichkhun feeling a momentary pride of being able to recognise her voice), and someone else. Nichkhun had to stare for a good 10 seconds before realising it was Kyuhyun, face directed away from him. His heart began to beat rapidly, why on Earth were they alone? And why were hiding (Nichkhun was easily able to assume this, as they were in an area nobody entered)? Nichkhun tried to convince himself that they were simply friends, only in an isolated place because of the loud sounds, but that couldn't have been it. The way the two looked at each other said something different, plus the silence of the hall.

Nichkhun quickly noticed the pair's positions. Victoria standing at the corner, back towards the wall, while Kyuhyun stood directly opposite from her. Nichkhun couldn't help but think, if Kyuhyun decided to suddenly attack her for whatever reason, Victoria would have been so defenceless. But something told him that if anything did happen, Victoria wouldn't even have tried to escape, because she trusted Kyuhyun so much.

The body language was enough.

 

Struggling to keep quiet, Nichkhun then realised something else. Kyuhyun's right hand was holding onto Victoria's left hand. Not fully grasping, not holding tightly, but fingers loosely interlaced, in a comfortable way which was not tense nor awkward. Nichkhun clenched his fist, unable to take his gaze away from the pair, just as how the two couldn't take their gaze off each other. Victoria's eyes, so bright, so much more beautiful with Kyuhyun compared to when they stared at him. Nichkhun hadn't known that Victoria could look so dazzling, and just through a simple conversation.

 

Nichkhun heard Victoria's voice, 'Kyuhyun-ah', being said so fondly, in a way that his name was never said from her lips. Kyuhyun silently watched her, saying something with the exact same amount of adoration in his voice; or perhaps a little more.

As Nichkhun stared, the more he had to agree, they were a match made in heaven. A match that, no matter how much he tried to deny it, looked as if they had already reached the point of 'happily ever after'; it was something Nichkhun had always wanted.

 

That day, that hour, that second; it was the moment Nichkhun had realised everything, that all his attempts to make Victoria feel special, never really worked. He put in so much effort in those events he arranged, so careful with the way he treated her. Any girl would have been swept off their feet just with his smile. But Nichkhun had to realise, Victoria wasn't just 'any' girl. Nichkhun has assumed that he could reach her heart the same way he reached others.

Victoria was someone special, Victoria was someone who had been chased by even the most handsome men for her affection. Of course, events of any sort weren't going to work on her; she needed something else; something a little more elaborate, something a little more mesmerising, something a little more breathtaking. But Nichkhun wasn't really sure what to do.

 

Whatever Kyuhyun had, whatever he did, he had managed to capture Victoria's heart. But that made Nichkhun feel bitter, so he argued with himself, Kyuhyun was simply first in line. With another one of Victoria's laughs, the one that only Kyuhyun seemed to be able to evoke from her pretty lips, Nichkhun had begun to feel even more sick. He didn't want to see anymore, he didn't want to acknowledge that everything he had felt was one-sided. So he ran.

 

Nichkhun didn't care anymore, not about the loud clattering of his footsteps, and not even about his appearance. What did it matter anymore? His heartbeat was in his ears, deafening him from everything. Nichkhun wasn't sure why he was running, or where he wanted to go, but it all seemed to be attempt to escape reality. 

 

For a second, just a mere second, Nichkhun looked back, and he regretted it immediately. Though he was running down the hall, making so much noise, Kyuhyun and Victoria simply stood at the base of the stairs, basically ignoring his presence. They didn't even give him a glance, so entranced by each other, unable to take their eyes away, reluctant to notice anything that didn't exist in their little world.

 

And that included Nichkhun; he had no place in the pair's fairytale ending.

.
.
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The next time Nichkhun saw Victoria was again on the set of We Got Married, and now everything became clear. He finally noticed the way Victoria stared, her eyes seemed so fleeting, as if they looked right passed him; like an unseen object. Nichkhun never knew how invisible he was, how Victoria's smile never seemed quite true, and how everything he felt for her was never really returned. Especially when remembering the way Victoria could never take her eyes off Kyuhyun, Nichkhun quickly realised.

 

It was never really him.


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From my other account, Dangoya... Enjoy~ ^^