He knows that something is wrong, that's what they say. Chanyeol's classmates in high school always scolded him for his feminine appearance that draws a lot of unnecessary attention, both from teachers and students. It became a big ugly social issue. Chanyeol always saw himself as a normal boy with some special needs, to be exact – a particular special need, cross-dressing. He began wearing clothes which associated with the opposite gender at the age of fourteen years old. The same pattern continued as he grew older. There's an inside drawer deep in his closet. He is hiding all of his girls' clothes, makeup and accessories there, well hidden and cannot be seen.

 

They accused him for acting like the opposite gender as if it was a bad thing. He believes that they are plain wrong. He is not a total outcast, he doesn't act like the opposite gender and he doesn't scream with a high pitched tone. In fact, he has a deep, baritone voice. He doesn't gossip nor sobbed so badly, ruining all of his makeup. He denies it all and laughs it out, what they say is nonsense. He thinks of himself as a boy who likes cross-dressing and that's the thing, pretty simple. Every day, routinely, he's exiting his house with a boys' uniform. However, before he enters school he quickly manages to change into his girls' uniform.

 

He returns home from school with his goofy ear-to-ear smile; greeted by no one, as usual. The place is safe, he tells himself. And one second later he is rushing toward his room, which is full of Dong Bang Shin Ki's posters (He really likes Jung Yun-Ho, because Chanyeol is really into manly band leaders). There are also some hidden posters inside his closet, don't tell his parents please. Posters of YunJae, and maybe he's a shipper.  Last night he found on Twitter a guy from China who calls himself 'The Deer' that ships them too, which is very cool, he thinks. He really likes the fact that he's not the only boy who is into shipping. They talked for hours, using a private conversation option, of course. And the polite Chinese guy starts a virtual conversation with our lankly giraffe.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

00:45

Hi.

 

Just a simple 'Hi', is this guy—? Chanyeol giggles, clapping his hands in laugher.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

00:45

Don't dare to think that I'm one of those socially awkward penguins. I'm Lu-Han by the way, tell me about yourself? Are you a boy or a girl? I'm a boy!

 

The guy is a bit of a talker, an excited one too. But why not answering back? It's not risky or something. And the pretty giraffe finds himself typing back with the same excitement.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

00:48

Hi, name's Chanyeol. I'm a boy. I never thought I'll be able to find another boy who's also a YunJae shipper (Pretty desperate, right?). Also, are you Chinese? (Because you wrote on your profile that you're from Beijing so I assumed so…)

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

00:50

Yes I am, and I'm proud being Chinese :) However, I do plan to travel South Korea after I'll finish studying (I read your profile too. Is Seoul as nice as everyone saying?)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

00:53

Yes, Seoul is amazing. Its South Korea's New York, I guess? I really like my hometown, I think I'm too biased, haha :) Seoul is beautiful, you should come! Also, what year are you in high school? Or, are you a university student?

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

00:55

Oh, I'll come then~ (Eventually?)  I'm a university student, majoring in economics. How about you, Princess Chanyeol?

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

00:58

Me? Oh well, I'm a high school student (This is my last year, cheers! ^V^) so you're older than me? I was born in 1992.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

01:00

Yeah, two years older than you~! Shouldn't you use honorifics with me? Call me oppa.  

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

01:03

Wow. And oppa is for girls (Did you watch plenty of Korean dramas?); I'm a boy so basically I'm supposed to call you hyung. But I don't want to. A bit childish, huh? :)

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

01:05

Unrespectful little Chan! Then call me oppa instead, I really don't see the difference.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

01:07

Because you're Chinese, it's a culture thing that I don't really want to explain. But I don't care; oppa is way better than hyung, Lu-Han oppa :)

 

They talked for hours and Lu-Han is apparently a very nice person to talk to, he is open-minded and smart.  Chanyeol did explain Lu-Han carefully all over again what's the difference between oppa and hyung; He also told Lu-Han why he prefers using oppa over hyung. It was always like that, even with his friends. Byun Baekhyun for example, the guy begged Chanyeol to use the term of 'hyung' with him. However, the younger pretended not to hear. You're having elephant ears for nothing!  Baekhyun was teasing and testing him. But Chanyeol was the king (He prefers queen, thank you very much) when it came to ignoring someone, even if this is someone as unbearable, chatty and noisy as Byun, who earned the title of the class' gossip boy for his non-stop way of talking. Chanyeol was used to being ignored by his parents and most of his classmates so ignoring Byun was a piece of cake for him.

 

Chanyeol can't change his preferences, he likes boys. And he starts to think of himself as a girl lately. He was born like that; blame the one who created him. He's too slim, feminine like. He has this pair of big sparkling hazel eyes that can melt every female's (and male's) heart. Moreover, he has this straight auburn hair, not so long; it is a bit more than shoulder-length. His straight bangs cover his forehead really nicely and sometimes when he looks down they hide his cute pair of eyes. Looking down at his fit became a habit of his. His classmates laugh at him, mocking him for his appearance as a part of the routine. Being humiliated and cursed by his classmates the only thing he have the courage to do is to look down at his fit, he's a coward.

 

 He's a disgusting , don’t come near him.

Yeah, it might be dangerous. I heard he's sleeping around.

 

Rumors can be harmful. Rumors-spread throughout the school is no exception, damaging student's reputation and character. They can lead to an unhealthy environment; the virus might spiral dangerously out of control.

 

I heard he's giving money to Byun so they can be friends.

Is he that desperate?

Yeah, I heard something like that. He's doing favors to the teachers in order to get good marks, that bastard. I knew he was showing off from the very start, he's really hopeless.

I wish him to die.

 

He opened his wooden closet, collecting his thoughts, trying to forget most of today's events. He never paid Byun in order to be friends nor did favors for the teachers, it's a big fat lie.

 

Maybe, he thinks. Maybe he should be a girl through, there are lots of plastic surgeries he could do; he always had this aura around him. Why not? Why not?! He should try! Maybe one day after school he and Byun will be able to go to one of those places. Such a neat idea, let's give up on it. Chanyeol's parents might split his skull or choke him the death if he did a plastic surgery, parents can be very scary.

 

However, he should try to make some exceptional change in his life; it'll stop all the fuss about him cross-dressing and stuff. It will calm down everyone around him; they won't scold him, they won't wish him to die. An exceptional change might soften his parents' attitude, they'll actually care about him, they'll show him more love and he won't feel ignored at home anymore. He wants them to notice him. And last, he'll learn to accept himself as the Chanyeol he always wanted to be but never dared to try. Chanyeol finally thinks he is ready to expose his little cross-dressing secret to his parents.

 

He stared at his closet, pushing all of his long-sleeved coats and dress-shirts, there's a secret inside his closet, a drawer full of Chanyeol's dreams and hopes. Slowly, he opened the drawer which creaks a little. There are some girls' clothes inside. Chanyeol bought them three months ago but he never dared to, you know, try them out. He pull them out, leather black mini skirt and a rosy-red long-sleeved shirt. He also has some makeup products and a lot of accessories. This is the time, he thinks. I don't need to hesitate. What I need is to stop caring about them liking it or not. Every person has a right to have his own negatives, and if the society thinks that Chanyeol's negative is his cross-dressing habit, he already made his decision; he is going to confess about the cross-dressing thing to his parents. Cross-dressing is his secret desire after all and Chanyeol hates to hide the truth from his own parents. The ones he care of the most.

 

As if he was a pro, he cross-dressed perfectly (He is only doing it since he was fourteen. And being a true ulzzang takes a lot of experience and sometimes years of practicing). He looked so stunning, bright, so fragile and precious to touch. Furthermore, this is one of the very rare times that Chanyeol actually is happy looking at the mirror, confidence with his appearance and looks.

 

Who knew that a single simple ring at the main door can change Chanyeol's life so drastically, completely as if it wasn't hard enough? No one thought the not-so-happy-go-lucky giraffe can be more miserable than he really is. Unfortunately, sometimes people are wrong. Chanyeol was horrified, looking fearfully at the main door, someone is ringing the bell. He feels like he needs to verdict immediately. He is nervous, too nervous for that.

Be brave, get yourself together and open the damn door.

 

 "Hi, mom" he greeted and bowed, frightened; she screams and yells, Chanyeol felt like crying.

 

That night he dialed Byun's number, telling him to meet him at the usual bar in their usual spot. Despite the fact that Byun was the class' gossip boy, he never told Chanyeol's secrets to people and kept them like the good, loyal friend he is. At first, Byun never thought that he's going to meet an angelic looking girl at the bar; he thought he was going to meet an ugly lankly crying giraffe. However, the figure that was waiting for him wasn't an ugly lankly crying giraffe at all. She was tall, stunning, and pretty—no. She was so beautiful, she had long slim legs and y tights and plump red lips and —wait a minute! She was waving at him! All the guys stared at Byun with a glint of jealousy in their eyes. He walked towards her and she is calling him with a very familiar voice, it was suspicious. Byun understands immediately. "Oh my god!" he's gaping at the tall girl "You are Chanyeol! But you're a girl! Did you went to this kind of surgery when they make your s bigger and—?" Chanyeol put his hand on Baekhyun's mouth, afraid that people would hear.

"Shut up or I'll pop you, I'm damn serious"

Baekhyun smirks and Chanyeol glares at him, putting hands on his hips.

"Not like that, you ert!"

 Baekhyun sighs, rubbing his neck nervously, this is so damn complicated.

 

"Look," Byun is saying "When you called me here, I never thought it'll be that serious. I thought it'll be one of those usual sober nights of yours like last time, when you cried at the moment you heard that Kai got a girlfriend" Chanyeol is humming in response. He's thinking really hard in order to process everything that happened at home and tell it to Byun, step by step.

 

It's been two hours already, and Chanyeol finished telling all the events from today, detail by detail. Baekhyun really cares about his precious giraffe friend.

"You do understand that I was shocked myself, I can understand your mom's reaction. I thought you were a model, for six whole minutes I just stared at you" Chanyeol laughs, rolling his eyes "You stared at my legs, ert" Byun in laughing too "This is all what friendship is about, if you were a real girl I was marrying you and that story was easily forgotten" Chanyeol nods sadly.  "Yeah," he's swallowing and glancing at Byun, holding his hand as an emotional support "You know, I never thought that mom could be so fed up with me"

 Byun shrugs "Old ladies can be scary, trust me. They have an evil cult, you know. Sometimes, all of the old ladies gather around whispering their children's names to the mom-cult leader,"

 Chanyeol laughs out loud "Which is my mom"

 Byun is sending a death glare towards him as a warning "Shush and let me finish!" Chanyeol is rolling his eyes again, nasty Byun.

 "And after that, all of them go to a secret house in the wood to make some cookies, but!" he is raising his voice dramatically "The cookies aren't normal ones. Devilish cookies, that's what they are! They'll make us to eat them so we'll turn into—"

"Zombies!!!" Chanyeol sequels and Byun wants to hit him so badly. Breathe in and out slowly, Baek.

 "If you weren't looking like a girl right now and people weren't watching, I swear! I was sending you off the floor with my chair!" Chanyeol pats Baekyun's shoulder softly "Sorry. I'm really into zombies since last week, there's a great movie that I saw" he's smiling at Byun, blinking his lashes innocently and Byun is sighing because he really cares about the stupid giraffe "What are you thinking your parents are going to do?" Chanyeol is biting him bottom-lip, frightened and scared "That's what I am afraid of."

 

The next day, he returns home after having a sleepover (Which ends up as a long time of talking) with Byun. Baekhyun's parents are awesome and they really like Chanyeol (They think he is a good company to Byun, who shrugs anyway).  Being a boy or a girl, it doesn't really matter in their opinion. Happiness is way important and he's truly happy to see that Byun's parents are so accepting towards him (Byun is always so nasty about it "They like you way better than they love their own son. We should adopt you" Chanyeol answers with his smiling face "Yeah, but you can't change who your parents are. You just born to a pair of parents that someone up there, I don't know what is his name, set you up with" Byun rolls his eyes at him "Your loss, I didn't want a new addition to my family from the very start" "I love you too, Baek").

On the other hand, there's this kind of parents like Chanyeol's. His own parents are sitting on the sofa, waiting for him. Not accepting their son's new development at all. He swallows, opening the main door and glancing nervously at them; they don't even look at him. "W-we," Chanyeol's mother is sighing uncomfortably, starting to tear up. Chanyeol's father hugs her, continuing from the beginning. "We thought about this for a long time, son" he rubbed his wife's back softly "And, we got into decision. For a long time, your mother and I hoped that you'll change this attitude of yours and start to act like a real man. We tried to accept it, but apparently you took it to the next level. We can't accept this cross-dressing disorder of yours. As a solution, we're sending you to a psychologist, a famous one. The best psychologist we knew, he's the best psychologist in South Korea actually. He solved problems that were worse than yours" he looks at Chanyeol, determination in his eyes "I want you to solve your little problem, son; I don't want someone with a problem like yours to own my business in the future, so there's the deal. If you make some efforts and change, I'll welcome you in this house. If you are going to be stubborn, don't dare to show your face here after the treatment, ever again".

 

*

 

He locked the door to his room. He can see sky full of stars through the window, a full moon and oh my goodness! A shooting star! Should I make a wish? He opens the window quickly.  "Hey you! Up there!" he shouts, his voice is breaking "I w-want to find my own place in the world, I want to be happy and prove everyone else that I worth something! Please, I beg for you, fulfill my wish!!"

 

Wiping his tears, he's checking on Twitter. There's new message from his Chinese friend, Lu-Han.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

21:08

Hi, how are you? :)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

21:13

Everything .

 

Chanyeol tells Lu-Han about the recent events. He wants to get rid of the tension that filled him inside because of the last conversation he had with his parents. He told them that they should welcome him because he's their son for god sake! They should support him in every decision he makes, whenever they like or not. And, there it is, as expected— "Chanyeol! You're grounded!!"

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

21:15

I wish I could hug you right now. Yeah, I have a friend of mine with a very similar problem. He wasn't cross-dressing, he was actually manly and all. He just was into guys. I'm still friends with him trough I'm not gay because he's my best buddy. His parents didn't accept him; he had been thrown away by them. So he had his own way. He struggled hard but succeeded! He's having a great job right now and he's making a lot of money and a lot of people envy him! You need to think positive and fight for your own rights. And I'm more than sure that the society will welcome you. Society is harsh, you have to show them that you'll do better without them and you'll gain their respect again. However, in return, show all of those people a cold shoulder at the beginning so they'll know that they were wrong. After that, start forgiving. Being angry and pissed off with them is human. On the other hand, forgiving and letting go is so angelic and admirable. You have your own choices; do what is better for you :)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

21:20

Thank you so much, it was really kind of you. I'll try my best! I'll struggle hard like your friend did! By the way, tell me when you're going to visit Korea. I really want to meet you (If you're some creep I'll call my friend, Byun. He has some amazing taekwondo skills!)

 

 From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

21:22

You're very welcome, princess Chan ;) Me? I'm planning to go Korea soon (After I'll finish studying two more months and then I'm free~) hehehe, I'm not a creep. However, if you are I have a friend that knows wushu XD

 

Chanyeol sleeps well that night. He dreams about Lu-Han and his funny wushu friend (Lu-Han said he resembles a panda). He' dreaming they're all sitting together in some restaurant while drinking bubble-tea. And Chanyeol may invite his neighbor Sehun over too, to drink some bubble-tea with them. Because the boy have a sick obsession with bubble-tea (More specifically, Oh Sehun have a sick obsession with honeydew-flavored bubble-tea).

 

The next morning however was not-so-great.  Chanyeol's mother knocked on his door at eight in the morning and told him to "Get dressed! We need to be there at nine o'clock, hurry" and then she left the door wide open and simply disappeared in the kitchen. She didn't seem stressed or what-so-ever like he thought she would be, which surprised him. Wasn't she mad at him yesterday? Whatever, he shrugged and cross-dressed, looking at the mirror with satisfied grin. In his opinion, the cross-dressing isn't a total mush, it's important. It's the real Chanyeol. And sometimes—oh how he wished he was born as a girl! But, not every dream can come true which is a big disappointment.

 

*

 

It's five minutes to nine; they're at the waiting room. Chanyeol picked some girls' magazine with a lot of pictures of clothes and accessories that he's dying to buy. He really likes the magazines in the waiting room. A moment later (It's perfectly nine o'clock, he notes) a tall blonde guy greets them; he wears a simple frown on his face. Taking a sip of his black coffee, he walks them to his room and sits on his brown leather chair.

 

Wufan is one of the best psychologists the humanity knew; he's also good friends with Dr.Phill and was a guest for two episodes of Dr.Phill's show (Being one of the best psychologists ever is a blessing; Wufan is a very popular psychologist). Wufan thinks his clients are unique, special and treats them as if they were normal despite the fact that his clients always have some unusual mental problems, sort of. On the other hand, Chanyeol's parents think that their son is a bit different, unusual, giving out a weird aura and acting a bit out of how he supposed to. However, Wufan is always there; full of motivation, ready to solve more of his clients' problems while having his usual black coffee and chocolate cookies (He doesn't like chocolate; the cookies are for his clients). He was expecting a pair of worried parents with a lankly tall boy. The figure he saw, was supposed to be a boy. From Wufan's point of view, there's a tall girl and a pair of bored sulking parents.

 He's excited at his new case, taking another sip from his super-black coffee "First, I want to talk with the parents and then with the child, okay?" he's glancing at Chanyeol as if he's asking his permission. The pretty figure nods and walks over to the waiting room, pouting. God, please, help me and let this torture over.

 

"We told him it's a total nonsense, we all know it. It's a total mush, it's an act, he's just pretending to be a girl and—"

Wufan sighs heavily, while writing down his notebook the details "It may seem easier for you, but for him it's like his world just crashed"

 

After an hour or so, it's finally Chanyeol's turn. He's smiling at his parents but as usual, gets no reaction back. Playing with his fingers in discomfort he enters to the psychologist's room and sits down on the client's blue chair. "Want a cookie?" Wufan offers but the other looks down "No, umm thanks."  He didn't dare to look at Wufan back. He hates the stupid psychologist and his stupid frown.  And maybe, he does want a cookie but he's just too shy.

 

*

 

"So, your parents arranged that you'll stay at my house. It's not like they are dumping you I just wanted to test some of my theories."  And it hits Chanyeol, his parents didn't joke about "Don't show your face here ever again" thing. He wonders how much his parents paid Wufan for that. Maybe it was about twenty grand. Wufan's salary must be good.

 

*

 

Wufan's house is nice and warm; unlike his frown or behavior (Chanyeol has a very judging perspective). Wufan doesn't care about Chanyeol wearing girls' clothes, which Chanyeol really appreciates (Maybe Wufan's stupid frown isn't that bad).

 

*

 

"Welcome home," he's bowing. Wufan came back from a rough day at work. Chanyeol was home alone, he doesn't get how staying at Wufan's house is going to 'cure' what he has (Chanyeol thinks he doesn't need a cure, it's the real him. His parents on the other side...  Urgh! Too complicated!).

 

What surprised Chanyeol the most is Wufan's I-don't-care-at-all attitude, he thought that psychologists supposed to care about things. Chanyeol asked Wufan to refer him as a 'she' and Wufan is okay with that. He also calls Wufan 'oppa', and Wufan still does not care at all, it annoys Chanyeol a little but he's not going to admit that.

 

*

"You like cross-dressing that much, huh?"  Wufan hands him a cup of sweet-hot cocoa because it is night and cold. "Maybe," Chanyeol is taking a sip from his cocoa and smile at the sweet taste "I like to be pretty, to feel pretty. All my life everyone teased me about having a girl's body shape; I think that I really wanted to be a girl from the very start but," Chanyeol is trying to be careful with his words "I also wanted to be a boy at the same time."  Wufan is looking at the sky "And why is that?" Chanyeol is looking at Wufan, Wufan's face is handsome. Chanyeol never cared to notice, he was always too busy looking at his fit. "I want to be a boy so my parents will welcome me back, that's the only reason". "Then," Wufan is staring back at Chanyeol "You don't actually want to be a boy, you only seek for your parents' attention" Chanyeol is blushing in response, how did he knew? He is staring at his fit. "Can you see the brightest star up there?" Wufan is pointing and Chanyeol turns his attention to Wufan and nods. "Well then, you're special just like this star. One day, you'll overcome all of your difficulties and you'll shine like the bright star you are". Chanyeol is looking at his fit again in embarrassment. "Was I…" he hesitates "Was I the first client to do this? I mean… to come over to your house and everything?" our pretty giraffe is curious. "Yeah, I was really surprised when your parents suggested that. But I accepted the challenge" Wufan winks.

 

Chanyeol is happy that his bangs cover his eyes at moments like this, so Wufan wouldn't see him crying. "They… They really dumped me, right? Please be honest with me, Wufan." he's biting his bottom lip, feeling as if he's breaking apart. "They must have paid you a lot, you must be happy; my parents are super rich—"  

Wufan slaps him. "What was that for?!" Chanyeol shouts angrily. Wufan is covering Chanyeol with his coat "Stupid" That's all Wufan said before going back to the living room. What really was that for? Chanyeol hugs Wufan's coat, touching his left cheek.

 

*

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

22:05

Princess Chanyeol, oppa missed you :)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

22:08

How are you, Lu-Han oppa? When are you coming here?  I'm bored to death.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

22:11

I'm fine :) How are you? Wait for me! I think I'll be able to visit Korea when it's summer vacation time :)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

22:14

It means that I need to wait for four months, you meanie :<

 

*

 

Wufan is wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans, watching Dr.Phill and making a ton of popcorn disappear inside his mouth by a magic. Chanyeol wants to nag him and ask him some questions but surprisingly he's quite quiet.

 

 He's waiting silently and after twenty-minutes the show is over, it was worth the wait. "Wufan, why are you a psychologist?" he's asking "From what I see," Chanyeol's smile is sincere "You could make a perfect model". Wufan is laughing hysterically "Yeah, sure" he's clapping his hands. "I didn't joke around! Your face is really handsome, it's such a waist" Chanyeol's face remain serious. Wufan is smiling at him, for the first time. "You see, life wasn't nice to me. I never thought of being a model, it never crossed my mind. All I wanted to do is to solve people's problems so they can live with a smile on their face" Chanyeol is blinking his eyes in confusion "And why is that? You could make the perfect model; you could earn huge amounts of money, it's a shame because you are really handsome" Wufan looks away, surprised by Chanyeol's honesty. "Thank you. It's because I had a friend of mine who had a problem when he was a kid. This kid was an outcast in others' eyes. The kid grew up a little, figuring out he was into boys. He tried to struggle on his own, taking little steps here and there, and he fell. He tried to reach the top of the mountain but fell every time he tried." Chanyeol listened carefully "Did he thought about giving up?" Wufan nodded "He thought about it a lot. But he promised himself that he's going to show everyone, to prove them that even as an outcast he can gain success and he tried. He tried for many years to climb on that mountain. He fell a lot and got hurt. However, one day he didn't even notice at all. He did it, it's the climb." Chanyeol's eyes widened "Did he succeed?" Wufan is smiling again "Yeah, big time. That friend of mine has a very successful job nowadays and he's doing great." Wufan is walking to the kitchen to make another popcorn bowl and Chanyeol follows like a lost puppy. "Why is this story doesn't sound like it's finished?" Wufan is looking at the younger boy's big hazel eyes, ruffling his hair "Because it is not. My friend didn't find the person he's willing to live with. I think that my friend will never find his own special person". Chanyeol is pouting back, folding his arms and feeling annoyed."What?! Then why did you tell me such a sad story!" he's known for being a crybaby "Yah, yah." Wufan panicked "You asked for it, I just shared" Chanyeol's tears are all over his face "But it sounded so sad! I really want to give your friend a hug right now!" Wufan smiles warmly and pulls Chanyeol into a hug "I'll tell him that, it'll make him happy. So please, stop crying over him and hug me instead. He's okay, he's okay being alone".

 

*

 

Two months already passed, time flies. "What about your finals?" Wufan asks worriedly, scratching the back of his neck. "I already passed them. I did all of them at the beginning of the year" Chanyeol filled his mouth with strawberry-milk casually. "How is that even possible? What are you, some genius child?" Chanyeol nodded "Yeah, you could say that. I have a photographic memory. I remember everything I heard and saw; I think it's a curse. Sometimes I wish I could erase some of my memories" he's looking at his pink mini-skirt and sighs; he accidently dripped some milk on it. "Everyone have some bad memories." Wufan sat beside him, Chanyeol's long hair "I think they are important. Some of our bad memories could teach us very meaningful lessons, don't you think so?"  He's glancing at Chanyeol, who is glancing back with a pair of sparkling eyes. "Yeah, from now on I'll make sure not to wear this skirt while drinking milk" Chanyeol answers sarcastically, Wufan just shrugs and laughs.

 

*

 

Today, Chanyeol gained some courage. He's going to contact with his parents after a long time period.  He didn't tell that to Wufan. For once, he wants to make things on his own. 

 

*

 

"Yeoboseyo?" he's asking, biting his bottom-lip.

"Yes?" it's Chanyeol's mother "Who is it?"

Can't you recognize your own son's voice? He wants to ask. His heart aches and he feels like he wants to hung up on her right now, but he doesn't do that. Instead he's saying, voice trembling "P-please listen to what I'm g-going to say," He takes a breath, full of oxygen "I missed you, mom" the other line was cut-off already.

 

He is so heart-broken; he wants to be vanished, to disappear.  He hates everything, and he hates himself the most. And suddenly, he's laughing like a crazy, like he's out of his mind. "Hahahaha! I really goofed up this time" he is insane "Why did they give me to birth when they knew I was a huge ugly mistake, huh?!" he's screaming and hitting the pillow. Wufan is opening the door to Chanyeol's room, panting. "What the hell is going on?" he asks, approaching the crying mess. "Don't come near me! You were a part of this plan too!" he's pointing at Wufan "I hate you!" Chanyeol's words strikes painfully into Wufan's heart "I hate everyone!! I'll go bananas this way! Ah!" Wufan can't take it anymore, he's pinning Chanyeol to the bed. "Stop being a crybaby and tell me what happened like the mature person you are!" Wufan is raising his voice, Chanyeol's tears stopped. He tries to push Wufan, gaining no success; the older is way too stronger. "Why are you staring at me?" Chanyeol his plump lips in irritation, raising a brow. "You don't hate me," Wufan is saying, more to himself than to Chanyeol. "I do. You were a part of my parents' plan. Because of you I don't live in my own house! I tried to call my mother today but she hanged up on me and I'm her own son for god's sa—!!!"  Wufan is shushing him in a very interesting way. He's holding Chanyeol's arms forcefully and putting his lips on his, a peck. And then he's pulling away. "W-what," Chayeol's heart is beating so fast. He's so confused, so unsecure. "W-what w-was that f-for?" Control your voice, Park Chanyeol! "Use your gourd to figure that out" Wufan is saying not looking back. He gets up, leaving Chanyeol on his own.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:08

Chan ~! One more month to go! Are you excited? :)

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

19:11

Yeah~! I really want to meet you!

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:14

I don't know why, but I have the feeling that you're not okay?

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

19:19

How did you— forget it. I got a kiss today, it was really surprising. My heart is going to burst and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid.

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:21

Oh. Do you like the other person back? I mean... the one who kissed you.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

19:23

I never thought about liking him but my heart tells me that I am… I am so confused! T^T

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:24

I have some advice to you, test him. Clothes, skinship … Just test him; see if he's having the same feelings as you. Make sure he is not playing with you.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

19:27

You really are a dear deer! What I'm going to do without you?

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:10

Stop being a cheesy goofy ball. I might hug you through my laptop :<

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

19:10

I think I broke it T^T You owe me a new one!

 

*

 

The new song that Byun sends him through WhatsApp is so pleasant and nice.  It's Nell's Ocean Of Light. Chanyeol is listening while hugging his knees and closing his eyes. Wufan isn't working today. He feels someone tapping on his shoulder and he sees a happy Wufan. "Great song" Wufan commented. He is sitting beside Chanyeol with a bowl of chocolate cookies. Chanyeol naturally put his head on Wufan's shoulder; Wufan can feel Chanyeol's soft breath on his neck. "How was that going to help me?" Chanyeol is asking. "What do you mean?" Wufan is asking back. "Living in your house, how was that a part of the treatment?" Wufan sighs "I'm not supposed to tell you that"

"So, tell me something else. Is the treatment works?" Wufan is holding Chanyeol's hand "In my opinion, you are great. It works perfectly fine I just…" he's thinking, holding Chanyeol's hand more tightly "Never mind, forget it". I just don't know if your parents are able to welcome you back, I'm so sorry. Chanyeol is placing a soft peck on Wufan's lips, and the older doesn't say a thing. Let's just hang loose for another few days; everything is going to be fine.

 

*

 

It's funny, isn't it? Wufan is one of the most famous psychologists in South Korea. Originally, he's from China, Guangzhou. And he's known for solving the most difficult problems in the psychology's field. When a certain beautiful Park Chanyeol enters into his life, he thought about him as an easy case, what apparently was discovered as the total opposite. Chanyeol's parents were obstinate, stubborn, and pertinacious. They didn't let go of being prejudiced towards their son. Their son has their genes, he is stubborn himself. But he is sensitive and understanding at times, something that they are not. Chanyeol is normal, for god's sake. Wufan tested him a billion times and he acts normal aside of being a cross-dressing maniac. But that's okay, too! Every person has a role model, Chanyeol can choose Girl's Generation and Wufan can choose Dr.Phill. Is it that hard to understand? He doesn't get it, really. Cross-dressing and preferences this is all normal, and no one has the right to judge someone else for being a little bit different.

 

 Society consist lots of colors. Each person has his own unique color. Chanyeol could be a peach-pink and Wufan think himself as a deep-blue, this is that simple. Yet, Chanyeol's parents are refusing to understand and all he could do is to keep this boy safe and support him. The younger's parents did told him to take care of their son, but they didn't paid him. Wufan did it willingly while remembering the young Wufan struggling hard; he didn't want Chanyeol to suffer like he did in the past. Chanyeol's parents told him to fix it. Cross-dress disorder, that was it. It's something he couldn't 'cure' because the younger was normal; he just liked boys better than girls and dressed like a girl because he wanted to be one. One day, he asked Chanyeol about that. And Chanyeol told him that it's not a sick habit of his; he just doesn't want to be a boy, because he likes to feel pretty and because that inside, he's really a girl. And Wufan is feeling a little weird. Why is that boy so important to him?  He came to realize— Feelings.

 

*

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

12:09

I'm so excited ~! I hope that this month will pass faster ~!

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

12:11

Me too! XD So excited ~!

 

*

 

It has been four months already, living with Wufan wasn't so bad. In fact, it was better than living in his previous house. Chanyeol wore a tight purple dress today, he's excited. It's the fresh feeling you have when you wake up, full of energies in the morning.

 

"Wu-Fan!" he's calling, giggling.

"Wu-Fan! Where are you?" he's knocking on Wufan's door, opening it a bit. "Wu-Fan?"

"Don't come!" Wufan muttered, waking up.

"Eh?" Chanyeol pouts "And why is that?" he's asking, annoyed with Wufan's behavior.

"I might do bad things to you, so shoo!" Wufan voice sounds more deep in the morning, he notes.

"You're so grumpy!" Chanyeol voice is clear and whiney "Why are like this? I wanted you to play with me!" 

Wufan is smirking "Playing did you say?" he's getting up, topping Chanyeol's body and pinning him to the soft floor.

 "Yeah, the playstati— hmm" Wufan is a good kisser.

 

Oh my god! Chanyeol's eyed widened in shock. "S-stop that, plea— ah!" Wufan is attacking the younger lips again, "I really like you, Park Chanyeol. I don't care about your cross-dressing thing, dress however you want" And that’s the moment when Chanyeol's heart felt like running a marathon, Chanyeol is fully kissing back.

 

*

 

The next week, Chanyeol stopped dressing as a girl. He's dressing casually and Wufan doesn't care, he likes him anyway. He's at work and his phone is ringing, he picks up the phone.

 "How are you, Dr.Wu?" this is Chanyeol's mom.

"I'm okay Mrs.Park, thank you. How are you?" she sighs "I'm fine, thanks. How is my son doing?" Wufan is biting his lip; something feels dangerous "He stopped cross-dressing for a week now". 

 

He returns home, a little bit gloomy. Chanyeol is jumping, hugging him tightly "I missed you," he's saying between the kisses "How was work?" Wufan isn't answering; he's putting his work bag in his room and making his way towards Chanyeol, something smells fishy.

 

"You're going home"

 

Chanyeol's world crashed again.

 

*

 

This is the situation, Wufan tells himself, trying to calm down. They didn't actually care about Chanyeol liking boys sort of thing; they didn't want him to cross-dress. He stopped cross-dressing and this is it, the end. They want him back.

 

That night, they came to take Chanyeol. Chanyeol and Wufan didn't dare look at each other, it is way too painful. Chanyeol is going to own his dad's business company and they're going to forget each other.

 

He never felt so broken before; Wufan actually thought he was okay being alone by himself.

 

 *

 

 

Lu-Han did actually visit South Korea after two years of promising and talking to Chanyeol.

 

 From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

14:00

I'm in Incheon airport, come meet me and my friend. He's living in Korea too :) I'm waiting for you at the gate. I have a Totoro bag, you'll recognize me.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

14:05

I'm coming to meet you and your friend. Is this the friend you told me about two years ago?

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

14:07

Yeah :) How do you look like?

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

14:08

A tall female, I wore a black tight leather dress today for work lol

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

14:10

I'm really happy that your parents eventually let you dress however you want. You told me, you're modeling for Etude House, right? You're the model with the auburn hair, right? Ah, you're so beautiful! I saw you doing fashion-shows too!

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

14:11

Yeah, thanks :) I'm also the heir of my parents' company, how nice is that? ;)

 

From: Dear Deer;

To: PrincessChan.

14:12

You rich bastard, hurry. I'm waiting here with my friend and he hates to wait.

 

From: PrincessChan;

To: Dear Deer.

14:14

Okay, okay! I'm coming!

 

Chanyeol is walking towards a shorter boy with a Totoro bag "Lu-Han?" he asks, unsure. "Chanyeol?!" the deer looked surprised "You're so pretty!"

 

They share a friendly hug. "I can't believe I waited for two whole years for you to come, you " He's hitting Lu-Han playfully and the latter smiles. "Where is your friend by the way?" Chanyeol is asking, his own long hair. "I told him to get three ice-dreams for us, I remembered that you told me how much you love chocolate ice-cream" he giggles. "You're so kind;" Chanyeol is ruffling Lu-Han's light-brown hair "I'm really excited to meet your friend. Can I ask him some questions about himself? Isn't it a bit rude? How does he look like?"

"Wow, wow wow. Hold on!" Lu-Han laughs "You're talking way too fast for me to understand you; I'm not fluent in Hangul, you know"

And Lu-Han's friend is approaching them. He's wearing a cap, jeans and a simple white t-shirt that looks way too familiar, somehow. Lu-Han is standing up "Chanyeol, this is my friend, Wufan" he's pointing at the man with the New-York cap "And Wufan," he's looking at his successful psychologist friend. "This is Chanyeol, my Twitter friend I told you about" Wufan drops the ice-creams on his new Nike shoes and Chanyeol feels like he's going to faint.

 

"What?!" Lu-Han squeals, jumping and dancing in happiness "You two actually knew each other; I'm feeling like a cupid!" Chanyeol is embarrassed; Wufan hits Lu-Han's head "Shut-up".

 

It strikes Chanyeol once; Wufan is the friend Lu-Han told him about. It strikes Chanyeol twice, Wufan is the kid who climbed the mountain. Too many coincidences and surprises in one day, Chanyeol feels exhausted.

 

*

 

Two months later, they're at Wufan's glitzy apartment. Lu-Han invites him and after a long debating Chanyeol decides to come, long sleeved blue dress and white heels, simple and elegant.  After watching a marathon of Dr.Phill episodes Lu-Han went to the guests' room, half-asleep and hugging Totoro, leaving Chanyeol and Wufan alone. Chanyeol's blood is rushing through his veins super-fast and Wufan is glancing at him.

 

*

 

"How is life?" Wufan is asking and Chnayeol is looking at Dr.Phill who's trying to figure out what is going on with the little child.

"Nice. How's yours?"

Wufan is taking a sip from his black coffee "Nice." He's saying.

 "I see" Chanyeol looks down, it was a stupid idea to come he— "I missed you" Wufan looked over Chanyeol, holding his hand "Did you miss me too?" He catches Chanyeol staring at him, and Wufan is taking the chance. He's kissing the other immediately.

 

"Remember you told me about the kid who climbed the mountain?" Chanyeol asks.

"Yeah,"

"Did he find the person he's willing to be with?"

"No, he found a pretty giraffe he's in love with instead" he winks, Chanyeol's long hair.

"What?"  Chanyeol hits Wufan's arm.

"You didn't let me finish! He's willing to be with that giraffe" Wufan is laughing, kissing him again; Chanyeol is sitting on his lap, kissing back.

 

*

 

Three month later, Beijing, China.

 Lu-Han gets an innovation to Wufan and Chanyeol's wedding.

 

"I hope that Lu-Han isn't surprised"

"He saw that coming" Wufan shrugs and gives the younger a back hug.

"My back hurts," Chanyeol is muttering "And it's all because of you"

Wufan cracks a big smile and hugs Chanyeol tighter.

 

*

 

Everyone has a mountain he needs to climb on. Mountain climbing is about challenge and perseverance about putting hands and feet onto rocks and ice and snow and finally reaching a summit. Everyone needs to struggle hard in order to overcome hard times. Mountain climbing is a risky activity; lightning strikes can stab out of a clear sky. Rockfall and avalanches sweep down mountain faces. Some climbers are way faster than others. Difficulties can slow you, forcing you to bivouac in the open. You can have an accident, causing all kinds of complications. You may fall and get hurt. You try hard in order to improve your climbing skills and techniques. You may fall all over and over again. Keep improving your skills! Try harder mountain climbes and find a good guide. You can get some advice from people who were in the same situation as yours. Before you even notice, you're there, on the top of the mountain, achieving your goal.

 

 

A\N: I finished it ! Finally ! Hope you guys liked it? Please tell me about your feeling ;3;