I, Kim Jongin are wordless. People even say that I am mute but I just don't. 

I have never felt the same way as other people do. I have never known how being loved feels like. 

It was such a long time ago that I started thinking that those moments were just my imaginations and slowly those memories turns to nothing but burning ashes left on the ground, untouched. 

He is a man used to darkness surrounding him, filling his heart up inside and being alone. He's used to be left out and to stares and glances that people are taking of him and more so, he's used to girls trying to flirt with him, not knowing what kind of monster he actually is. 

When a person was hurt by someone, they usually wanna do revenge on the other parties or even on another person. 

But that's now how Kim Jongin is. 

He never plays with girls. He would just walked away from them and vanished, disappeared as if he was never there. He just like being alone, and depressed. He knows he can actually forget everything, get a new job, a new life, move out, and all, but he just doesn't want to throw everything away. 

Because the depression he felt is the only thing that keeps him alive until now. Believe it or not. 

It seems like he's the only source of light for other people in the midst of crowd.

He felt his heart thumping inside his chest and he put his hand on it but the smile on his face was still visible. 

Everyone laughed, his surroundings laugh, his friends laugh, but still, he doesn't feel alive. Do Kyungsoo, the bright kid, also has his dark side.

In the rays of sun, he went around the city and jumped around like a bright child and in the shadows of the moon, he sat on the corner and absorbed himself in every feeling that usurped his heart. 

Sometimes he also wonder what if other persons are the one giving love to him not himself giving love to the others. 

He lived alone in the midst of the crowd, in the midst of everything, in the midst of the lights of Seoul and the rain that fell from full heights.