~Her Thought~

I never felt like this before. I am used to be near Oppa. I am used to see him everyday. I am used to be see him the moment i open my eyes and say good night before i close my eyes. I am used to hear his voice. When he speak, he laugh, he rant and when he sing a lullaby for me. Maybe i exaggerate it. But really, without Yong Oppa, i feel so lifeless.

I often space out when i’m alone. I always wondering what is Oppa doing there. We are separate by time and space. Morning in Korea means night in US. I never separated with Oppa this far and this long. It’s only two weeks but it feels like two damn years. Oh i’m so so so missing you, Yong Oppa.

Yes. We can still contact each other through phone, chat in katalk or see each other by skype. But that’s different. I can’t touch you.. i can’t feel you. Oh how i miss being in your arm. Feeling your warmth and inhaling your scent. But i can’t... i can’t. You know my nights is so cold and lonely. I will pay any amount of money to fly to US and be with you. It’s not that impossible, but the condition don’t allow it. You have things to do in US and i have things to do in Korea.

I start my musical for the first time of my life. You know how i really want you to see me. Here i am, your girl who step forward to reach her dream. I want you to feel proud of me. But, despite of those, i feel upset too. I’ll do a kiss scene in my musical. It concern me a lot. I love you till i can’t imagine i kiss another guy beside you. It’s so hard, Oppa. It so hard and you aren’t here. You know how hard to handle this kind of emotional conflict. And i need you, Oppa. I need you here with me..

I really intend just show my smile when you call me or skype with me. I really want to show you that i’m okay here and you don’t have to be worry. But my heart can’t lie. Maybe on the first week, i can smile and say that i’m okay. But i’m started to feel desperate here. So, when you call me, i can’t hold my tears. I say i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you numerous times. I feel bad for him but he just chuckled and say, “I know.” It makes me laugh and snap at him, “Choding!” He end up calm me down and spoil me for a good three hours even though he is tired and need a long sleep. Oh how i can ask more than this? My Yong Oppa is the best.

Now it’s two days more. Two days more and i will see you again. See you, hear you directly is million times better than just see you through picture or hear you through phone. I will count every second to be with you again, Yonghwa Oppa....

~His Thought~

Have a tour in US always be my dream. I am totally excited when i heard that CNBLUE will go on tour there for about two weeks. Two weeks... and it means i will be away from my Hyun. It really hurt me. I see her send me away in the airport for the last time. She smile but her eyes wet because of tears. Hyun, i’ll leave and comeback to you as soon as possible. Don’t you know i feel sad too? Everyday i always be with you. And now, i’ll go to the place that so far away from you.

I need to focus. I need to concentrate. But you always in my head. I always wondering, have you eaten yet? What are you doing? Oh, i can’t bear this. I’m totally crazy because i’m too missing you, Seo Joohyun. When i say “Good Morning”, you will say “Good Night”. That makes me realize that we are so so much far away from each other. I’m so crazy, Hyun. So crazy that i think i can stop breathing. I miss you so much.

I really thank technology so i can contact you. When i have a plenty of time, i will call or skype with you. When i’m busy, i send you katalk. We never lose contact with each other but that is so much different. I want to hug you.. i want to kiss you.. i want to feel you. At the end of the day, when i lay on my bed, it really felt lonely. I’m used to sleep while holding you in my arm. I can’t sleep. I will pay, even it cost a fortune, to make you come here. But it can’t be happen. All i can do is close my eyes, and hope we’ll meet in my dream.

You start your musical for the first time. I know that is your dream. I really frustrated that i can’t watch your first performance. I want to see you and shout there, “Hey! that’s my girl! And i’m proud of her!” I’m so happy for her but the kiss scene don’t cease from my concern. I assure her, it’s okay. That is part of her professionalism. But she whined that she can’t do it with anyone else but me. I am so overwhelm. I know you love me. I trust you. So i’ll let you. I know it’s hard. I feel bad for not being with you. But believe me, i always send my prayer for you, always support you, even though i’m not physically be there for you.

I know you. I know when you say “I’m okay” but you actually don’t. I know you pretend to be strong. I know you try to not make me worried of you. You always being like that. Hyunnie baby, should i say again that i never mind if you make me concern? So when finally you escape your cry and say that you miss me, i feel like “Finally”. You shouldn’t hold yourself. Just tell me what you’re feeling. We are not two strangers. We are one. You and me are one. I won’t complain if i must calm you for three hours, i will do it all day if i could. I even won’t sleep or eat to make you feel better. And when finally you stop crying and laugh again, i feel my heart lighter. Your laugh... your happiness is my energy.

Now, it’s two days more. Just one more show and two days more before i can see you directly. Oh how i’m longing for this. I want to be close to you.. i want to be close to you. If i stay any longer here, i swear i’ll go crazy. I will count every second to be in your arm again, My Hyunnie....

T_____T i warn you rite? it's so melancholic... ahaha i feel cringe myself when i edit this. lol

i miss them.. eotteokhae? and i feel that yongseo miss each other too.

aaaaaa two more days..!

anw, thanks for reading and accompany me through this melancholic mood. hahaha~~

see you around!