After a tiring day full of singing and dancing, EXO finally arrived back at their comfortable dorm. They all went first in their rooms, getting ready to take a shower.

After half of them finished taking showers, in groups of two or three, it was Luhan’s turn.

He had just entered the shower for 2 minutes, when he heard the door being open. He saw Baekhyun, who was already taking off his clothes.

“Oh, come on, Baek, I wanted to shower alone.”

“Sorry, hyung. I know you wanted to e, but too bad. Nobody wants to shower with me and my shower partner, Sehun, already took one. So as his best friend, you shall sacrifice instead of him.”

“Yaah, I wasn’t going to e.” Luhan said blushing. “And of course nobody wants to shower with you. You’re such a .” Luhan murmurs.

“What did you say? Speak louder.” Baekhyun said to his hyung.

“Nothing.” Luhan whispered, washing his body with soap and trying to ignore Baekhyun.

Baekhyun didn’t bother Luhan for the next 5 minutes, to the latter’s surprise, but just as he wanted to exit the bathtub, the younger caught him by his left hand.

“Wait, hyung. Can you please wash my back? I can’t wash it properly alone.”

Luhan thought that this was some kind of trap in which the younger wanted to lure him, but as he saw Baekhyun looking at him innocently, he couldn’t say no.

“Ok, fine, but I’m leaving after.” Luhan said.

He washed at first Baekhyun’s shoulders, but as he moved his hands lower, Baekhyun started to make some strange sounds which sounded like…moans?

“Uhmm, yes hyung, touch me lower.” Baekhyun purred sensually.

Luhan blushed and widened his eyes at his band mate’s words, removing his hands from the latter’s body and exiting the bathtub.

“OMG, I knew I shouldn’t trust you!” Luhan said irritated, his face still red, covering his body with a towel. He left the bathroom, despite Baekhyun’s calls and apologising.

After Luhan put on his pyjamas, he went in the living room, where Kai, Tao and Kris were watching a comedy show. Luhan laid on one of the couches, not giving any attention to the other band mates.

“Luhan hyung, you should stay properly on the sofa. Nobody can stay on it now besides you.” Tao said.

“Well, I don’t see anyone else around, so who cares?” Luhan replayed back.

“Well, I want to stay on the couch.” Luhan heard a voice he didn’t want to hear.

“Yeah, Baekhyun, go sit somewhere else.” Luhan said annoyed.

“I’m sorry, hyung. Don’t be mad at me, I was just joking” Baekhyun said, lifting Luhan’s head and placing it on his lap.

“W-What are you doing?” Luhan asked surprised.

“Well, you seem tired, Luhan hyung, so try resting a bit, ok? I’ll watch TV with the others.” Baekhyun responded, caressing Luhan’s hair. Luhan suddenly felt his check getting hotter from the gesture, and prayed to God Baekhyun wouldn’t notice.

After half an hour, he fell asleep because of the tiredness, forgetting the fact that he wasn’t in his bed but on Baekhyun’s lap.

Luhan woke up in the middle of the night, only to feel someone hugging him from behind.

When he turned around, he a felt the urge to push and punch the cutely sleeping Baekhyun besides him, because didn’t his band mate know that he didn’t like someone else staying on his bed?

His angriness started to wear off when he realised it wasn’t his bed they were sleeping in, but Baekhyun’s. He saw D.O sleeping clueless in his own bed and he remembered that they’d just changed room partners the other day. He was now sleeping with D.O and Baek, and he didn’t know if he should like it or not.

It’s not like he had any problem with these two, but D.O was sometimes very strict when it came to cleaning the room, and Baekhyun was a ert who also spoke non-stop. He was grateful that Baekhyun didn’t also talk in his sleep, because he would surely have needed ear plugs then.

Luhan was asking himself if he should go to his own bed or stay were he was, but the laziness (and the fact that Baekhyun’s hand around his waist and the sound of the younger’s breath next to him felt too good) made him choose the second option. ‘No, it’s just because I’m lazy.’ Luhan shook his head, denying the abnormal thoughts he had about his band mate.

He put his head on the pillow, this time facing Baekhyun, and examined the latter’s facial expression. Just then, Baekhyun moved in his sleep, his face now very close to Luhan’s one and his legs touching Luhan’s. Luhan blushed and closed his eyes, trying to sleep and forget about the erted thoughts about Baekhyun that were crossing his mind in that moment. ‘Why is my body so hot? Is it because of Baekhyun? No, no, no, it can’t be. I think the food I ate for dinner was spoiled. Yeah, that must be it.’ Luhan tried to convince himself.

The next day, Luhan woke up with an . He decided to count to 100 until it disappeared, because he was afraid that if he goes to the bathroom to get rid of it, one of the members might hear him. Getting a morning wood is not very unusual for boys, but taking into consideration the fact that Luhan was already 23 and that he didn’t usually had uncontrolled s, it was kind of strange for him.

Luhan was staying on the bed on his back, when he felt arms wrapping around him.

“Are you awake, Luhan hyung?” Baekhyun asked in a sleepy voice.

“Uhhm.” Luhan responded, felling a strange sensation which he didn’t know where it came from.

“Why did you bring me in your bed instead of mine?” Luhan then asked his band mate, remembering the question he wanted to ask the latter since he woke up in the middle of the night.

“Oh, that’s because I was really tired, and you are actually pretty heavy, and as my bed is closer to the door, I just dropped you there and fell asleep near you.”

“Hmm, ok.”

Baekhyun’s excuse seemed plausible, so Luhan didn’t ask him any more questions.

In the meantime, D.O woke up too and they all started to dress up, going to eat with the others when they finished.

After they ate, they had to make rehearsals for the concert they had that day, meaning dancing and singing. Luhan was already confident enough in his dancing skills, so he decided to exercise his voice.

Surprisingly, Baekhyun was the only one in the practice room where they usually exercise their singing, which was near the dance room. Baekhyun stopped singing to see who had just entered the room.

“Where are D.O and Chen?” Luhan asked, because the two mentioned were almost every time there.

“Oh, they went to exercise the dance a little bit, because they don’t want to make any mistakes on stage.” Baekhyun said.

Luhan nodded and sit down on a chair, eyes on his band mate. Baekhyun looked confused at him and asked him if he wasn’t going to sing too.

“No, I’d rather just listen to you singing. You sing very well, same with D.O and Chen, and as my singing is not actually that good, I prefer to listen to your voice.”

“Luhan hyung, stop underestimating yourself. Your voice is beautiful, delicate and soft, so I don’t see any reason as why you would think like that.”

“I… it’s just…”

“Why are you always so pessimist and harsh with yourself? You’re just hurting yourself, hyung.”

“Because… I’m not good at anything. I don’t sing as well as you, D.O or Chen, nor am I as good at dancing as Kai, Lay and Sehun.” Luhan barely whispered, but Baekhyun heard him as they were alone in the room.

Just then, Baekhyun did something Luhan wasn’t expecting from him: he came near him and hugged him. Luhan felt Baekhyun grabbing his waist and lifting him from the chair, and Luhan instinctively put his hands around Baekhyun’s neck.

“Hyung, why are you saying all these things? Did you have a nightmare last night?” Baekhyun said, pressing their foreheads together.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this…” Luhan said in a low tone, not understanding why he could hear his own heartbeats so clear. Baekhyun then moved his hands lower, pinching Luhan’s and then slapping it.

“Yaah! What do you think you’re doing to your hyung, Baekhyun?” Luhan said angrily with a flustered face.

“That’s the attitude I want to see from you! Now come, let’s sing together.” Baekhyun said with his usual rectangular shaped smile.

They sang “Christmas Day”, because that’s one of the songs they were going to perform later that day. Their voices resonated together throughout the song, and they didn’t mind the fact that they were singing the others’ parts too.

Luhan was feeling better after that and told himself that maybe Baekhyun was right: he should stop being so negativistic.

Luhan had seen a lot of fans that day before arriving at the dorm again, who were screaming EXO’s names and pushing each other just to be able to stay closer to them.

Luhan was feeling strange again as Baekhyun’s head rested on his shoulder. EXO members were staying together in the living room, talking about unimportant things just to kill time before the food arrived.

Luhan actually kept feeling like this for some time whenever he was near Baekhyun, but he was trying to ignore it. He started to think about it though after what happened the other day, but he was reaching the same conclusion that he kept denying.  He then put his head on Baekhyun’s, trying to forget about his stupid thoughts, but how could he, when his heart was beating like crazy in that moment?

A week after that, Luhan told himself that he couldn’t keep denying his love for his band member. He had thought a lot about it, and after having the sixth that week while thinking about Baekhyun, he decided that he should just confess and hope the younger would at least accept to still be friends with him. ‘Well, or maybe…’ Luhan thought, imagining how it would be if Baekhyun actually felt the same for him.

Luhan was staying in his bed, currently being alone in the room, thinking about how he should confess.

‘I could tell him something like: Hey, I want to tell you something. You know, I’m actually in love with you… No, no, maybe something like: Hey, I want to tell you something, but promise me you won’t make fun of me or hate me or…Arhh, why is this so hard?’ Luhan thought, hitting his head on the pillow.

“Why are you hitting yourself?” Luhan heard a voice that made him blush instantly and at the same time he started to feel nervous.

‘Should I tell him now? Maybe it would be better to lift this off my shoulders faster.’ Luhan thought, looking at his band mate, who was searching for something.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, not knowing how to start the conversation.

“Hey, Baekhyun…” Luhan whispered so low, that he thought the other didn’t hear him.

“What is it, hyung?” Baekhyun said, startling Luhan, who was getting ready to repeat what he had just said.

“Oh…I…just wanted to tell you something.” He said, not daring to look at Baekhyun and instead staring at the door besides him.

“Yes, what is it?” Baekhyun asked, a little bit worried as his hyung looked like he wasn’t being his usual self.

“I…you…I mean…” Luhan mumbled, losing all the confidence he had before.

“What, hyung? I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Never mind. It was nothing important. I think I’ll go to sleep, I’m really tired.” Luhan said, but Baekhyun felt that there was something off. He didn’t ask Luhan further questions, deciding to let him choose whether he would tell him what he wanted to say or not.

‘Tomorrow is also a day.’ Luhan thought, putting his head on the pillow.

The next day, Luhan didn’t have the chance to tell Baekhyun his feelings for him. Anytime he tried to be alone with his crush, another member just appeared out of nowhere, asking them if they wanted to eat, to watch TV or to play games with the others.

By then, Luhan already had a script in his head, with the possible things he would say in all the situations that could occur, so he just needed a little time alone with Baekhyun.

The perfect chance occurred two days later, when D.O decided to show his cooking skills, which meant that he was going to cook spaghetti. Baekhyun was staying in their room, lying on the led and humming a song which Luhan recognised as “Miracles in December”.

‘Miracle, huh…that’s what I need right now, a miracle to make Baekhyun fall in love with me.’ Luhan thought, approaching the bed in which his band mate was staying.

Baekhyun turned his gaze to Luhan, only to be met with the latter staring at him, unease showing on his pretty face. Luhan sat down on the other’s bed, trying hard to not have a heart attack, as his heart was beating so fast he thought it would explode soon. Baekhyun got up from his position, staying now on his , facing Luhan.

“Umm, Baek…” Luhan said, his face all red. ‘Calm down, Luhan, calm down.’ He told himself.

“Yes, hyung?” Baekhyun looked at him worryingly. “Are you feeling ok? Your face is all red.”

“I-I’m f-fine, yeah.” Luhan blurted. “I want to tell you something, but I don’t know how to say it…”

“Oh, come on, hyung, you can tell me anything.”

“Do you promise you won’t laugh at me? Or that you’ll still be friends with me after I tell you?” Luhan whispered while looking down, his fingers playing with the bed sheets.

“Why are you asking me these? Did you do something you weren’t supposed to?” Baekhyun asked.

“No, I… just promise me, ok?” Luhan said lowly.

“Ok, I guess. Just tell me what is bothering you so much.”

“I don’t think I can say it, so I’ll just show it to you” Luhan said, closing the distance between then. He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss Baekhyun, but instead of the soft lips he was expecting, he felt something else on his lips. He opened his eyes, removing his lips the moment he saw that Baekhyun had put his hand in front of his lips.

“Ohh…OH! I get it now. You like me.” Baekhyun stated, like it was not obvious anyway.

“Y-Yes…I do” Luhan said, blushing even more now.

“Ummm, sorry hyung, but, I’ve never thought about you THAT way.”

“Ooh, it’s ok… I’m sorry I almost kissed you.” Luhan said laughing awkwardly, looking down at his hands.

“I’ll just go see if D.O finished cooking. I really like his spaghetti, so… See you later.” Baekhyun said fast, rushing out of the room after that.

Luhan was left alone in the room, not understanding why drops of water suddenly appeared on the bed sheets until he realised he was crying.

‘Why am I crying?’ Luhan asked himself. He didn’t understand. He knew that Baekhyun would probably not feel the same way as him, so why was his chest hurting as if a dagger had stabbed him? Luhan curled into a ball, burying his face into the pillow and started crying his eyes out. After an hour of crying and biting his nails and the bed sheets, he got up and went into his own bed. He tried to fall asleep but couldn’t.

After half a hour, Luhan heard someone enter the room, and as he turned around, he saw that it was D.O and Xiumin.

“Hey, Minnie. What are you doing here?” Luhan asked, trying to act as normal as he could.

“Oh, well, Baekhyun said he wanted to stay in the same room as Chanyeol, because he was in mood to talk nonsense with someone. So I exchanged rooms with him.”

“Oh, I understand.” Luhan said, turning his back at the two band mates.

‘He wanted to talk nonsense… What a lame excuse… I bet he was just trying to get rid of me.’ Luhan thought. ‘What does he think? That I’ll him in his sleep? Stupid Baek.’ Luhan said pouting.

Huge dark circles were surrounding Luhan’s deer-like eyes the next day, as he didn’t get much sleep that night. He kept having nightmares about Baekhyun making fun of him or ignoring him completely, which Luhan thought were probably not far from what was going to happen in reality.

The concert that day felt horrible for him. His head hurt because he cried too much and the fan’s screaming didn’t make it any better. When he arrived at the dorm, he went straight into the room, not even bothering to eat or fight for a place in the shower. ‘I’ll just wait for the others to finish.’ he thought.

Luhan was lying on the bed, playing on his mobile phone and thinking about nothing in particular (actually he was thinking about Baekhyun, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself), when he heard the door open. He supposed it was D.O or Xiumin, so he didn’t bother to stop the game to check. Only when the lights turned off did Luhan turned this gaze away from his phone, to see who the idiot who left him in the dark was.

He then felt someone pushing him on the bed, and then he recognised the other when he brought his face closer.

“Baekhyun?” Luhan asked, but Baekhyun ignored him. He started kissing Luhan’s neck and the latter moaned, not knowing what was happening.

“Baekhyun, stop, what are you…ahh.” Luhan moaned, as his band mate put his hand on his clothed member. Luhan felt hands under his shirt, roaming on his body and a part of him didn’t want to stop Baekhyun, but he did.

“Baek, wait. I thought you said you didn’t like me.”

“I don’t.” Baekhyun said and let the other speechless, as he was kind of hoping for another answer.

“The what are you doing?” Luhan said after a few seconds, a little bit too loud.

“Well, you like me, so what does it matter if I use your body a little?” Baekhyun asked and closed the distance between them again.

Luhan pushed him away, and looked at him in disbelieve.

“Are you stupid? I have feelings too!” Luhan said and pushed Baekhyun out of his bed.

“I…” Baekhyun started to say, but was cut off by his band mate.

“Get out!” Luhan said, pushing him in the direction of the door with tears in his eyes.

“Luhan…”

“Get the out of this room!” Luhan yelled, pushing Baekhyun out the room and slamming the door in his face.

Luhan stayed a few seconds near the door to make sure Baekhyun really left and then headed again to his bed. He stopped midway, falling on his knees and starting to cry like his life depended on it. His body eventually ended on the floor and he was biting his hand just because he felt like it. ‘Baekhyun is an idiot. How could he do this to me? I actually thought for a second that he likes me too. But he was just making fun of me. Stupid, stupid, stupid Baek.’ Luhan was thinking while he was shedding his tears on the cold floor.