Someone knocks on my door. “Come in” I shout from inside.

      Whoever it is walks in. My face goes south as I turn to the side of the door. It’s the last person on earth I want to see right now.

      I give him a completely annoyed look and turn my face away.

      “What the hell really happened?” He asks standing next to the bed.

      I let out a sigh and continue to look away. How does he even know?

      He doesn’t repeat his question instead he places two fingers under my chin and turns my face side to side.

      “What are you doing Jung Min?” I ask out of annoyance pushing away his hand.

      “Checking for any wounds” He says in a furious but a worried tone.

      “Doctors already did that, so you don’t have to”

      “Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t know hospitals had doctors” He snaps at me and walks further from the bed.

      I stare at him as he roams around the room taking a good look at the surrounding. “Where’s your phone?” He asks opening two or three drawers one by one.

      I don’t reply.

      “Why don’t you have any food with you?”

      “Because I’m not going to be here for long” I answer just for the heck of it.

      “But Jinwoo sounded like you were going through a heart operation or something”

      “He was just scared because it was new for him”

      He nods, comes and sits down on the bed next to my feet.

      My mind suddenly raises a question and I immediately turn it into words. “Wait, was it Jinwoo who called you?”

      He nods again and drops down his bag onto the floor with a loud thump. “Oops… I had my laptop in that” A hand covers his mouth but he doesn’t bend to pick it up either.

      “Why did Jinwoo call you?” I ask slowly sliding away my feet from him with the fear of any skin contact being made as he rocks himself from side to side like a little child. He looks comfortable and settled around me even though I’m feeling awkward.

      We haven’t had any kind of a willing and comfortable skin contact since that day though. Sure television shows might have made us hug each other or do some games together but none of them were done by our own will. They were always forced because we were too busy trying to protect our band reputation. Even though none of us ever talked about it, both of us knew that we were both trying for that and that only.

      “He said you were cursing at me when you were over there”

      I say nothing to that.

      “Did you?” He asks again wanting to confirm it.

      “Maybe a little” I try to avoid his eyes as much as I can.

      “So he had thought that maybe if we had a fight so it’s good to let us talk about it and solve it”

      “Makes sense, because normal people would talk about things rather than hiding behind a wall” I say meeting his eyes with a furious glare.

      “How drunk were you anyway?” He asks, of course wanting to change the subject.

      “I wasn’t drunk” I snap quickly. I really wasn’t. “We only had some cider because he had run out of whiskey”

      “And you cursed me when you were in your right mind?” He jumps off the bed.

      I turn to the side of the door without caring to reply.

      What does he expect me to do then? Praise him for rejecting me? For turning my one-sided love into something completely it wasn’t? What does he want me to do?

      “Did you tell him about this?” He asks walking up to the window stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

      “Of course not!”

      “If you weren’t drunk then how did you-”

      I know what he’s going to ask. “Because it was too hard on me!” I shout as loud as I can, sitting up on the bed.

      He suddenly turns to me with widened eyes.

      “It has always been hard on me! Why am I the only to get hurt every time? Do you expect me to be happy and cheerful when you turned me down for the second damn time?”

      “I didn’t reject you twice Hyung Junah, it was only once and that six months ago”

      “Oh yeah? Then what do you call what happened last night? We weren’t the same people last night. We weren’t watching over a couple of beers like we used to. For sure I cleared all doubts you had of my feelings and then you, you confessed to me. And when I tried to work this out, you said you had feelings for me, not have feelings for me. If that isn’t called as turning someone down then I don’t know the hell it’s called”

      “It’s not easy as you think”

      “You think it’s easy for me?” I ask placing a hand on my chest. “I mean does this even make sense? You had feelings for me even before the comeback, I confess to you but you turn me down and avoid me for six months. And even now when you know the truth you still can’t properly deal with this” The anger makes me get off the bed and walk towards him as if I want to punch him.

      He takes two steps back, not from fear but as a result of the awkwardness between us which he wasn’t quite feeling for the past few minutes. “What am I supposed to do then?” He shouts at me.     

 “Just give in!” I shout my lungs out and pull him into a harsh kiss.

 “What are you-” He tries to push me back.

 “Stop rejecting every time! Try to give in” I say tightly cupping his face with my hands,  trying to make him stay still.

 Do I have another choice? The only way he’ll shut up would be a kiss. The only way he  might give in and feel my actual love would be a kiss. So yeah, I had to use a kiss.

      His eyebrows are wiggled and he’s bearing a confused yet angry expression at me. He always has that when he doesn’t get what he wants. But if he ever had feelings for me then, isn’t this what he wanted?

      “You can’t force me into this; that is not how it’s going to work” He breaks our skin contact.

      “Okay fine. You teach me then” I swing my arms on the air with frustration.

      “You are not three to teach you how to love a person” He snaps at me.

      “Then how am I going to prove my love for you?” I pause for a second. “Should I die for you?” I ask, clearly not exactly meaning it but well, I needed sarcasm for my defence.

      “I don’t know, maybe” He tilts his head to a side.

      I raise my eyebrows at him.

      “Do you really think we can turn back time?” He asks after getting over his own amusement over my stupid question.

      “Why don’t we try taking a step forward than always trying to take one step back?”

      He curls his mouth downwards as if he had heard me saying something intelligent for the first time in his life. I wait for him to reply but he doesn’t say anything, instead he walks to the bed. He fetches his bag from the floor and grabs my stuff from the bedside table and shoves them inside his bag; my phone, wallet and spare keys.

      “Let’s get you discharged since you are not actually sick to be here in the first place” He says heading towards the door.

      “And?” I ask without moving myself even an inch from where I stand.