Ever since Forbidden Love shooting finished, not even once Jung Min and I had proper eye contact with each other. It has become awkward between us that’s resulting us not even being able to sit across the same table without being uncomfortable. Every time I would walk into a room that he’s in; he’d either walk out or I will turn back myself and walk away. It didn’t matter if there were people around us or not.

      As usual I push myself onto the sofa and think about this same issue over and over again.

      Day and night I wished how better it would have been if we were still working on our solo careers so then I wouldn’t have to meet him every day like this. But unfortunately our comeback is already given and there’ll be no turning back now.

      We can’t turn time back and undo the film. I can’t turn time back and take back what I’ve said. We just have to deal with this, but the path Jung Min has taken for it is clearly wrong. The worst part of this is that every time we’d go to a television show or any kind of event, people would try to team up the two maknaes and they’ll start calling us tom and jerry and literally turn us into a couple. Since we are idols, none of us can back out and storm out of the show. So we cope with it instead with bright-flashed smiles that Park Jung Min and Kim Hyung Jun never had to fake before. It all came from inside our bodies back then because we were close friends and there were never any awkward moment between us. We’d never get uncomfortable with each other at any cost.

      But today when I take a look at our friendship, it has turned into an unreal friendship that is only presented for the public. I don’t even know if I can call whatever we have right now as a ‘friendship’ either. We don’t share secrets anymore, we don’t eat from the same plate anymore, we don’t share the same rooms anymore and most of all we don’t even properly talk to each other anymore.

      The only time we’d talk would be when it’s urgent and important; more as in just a question or two which one of us would give a very short answer to. Other than that, there’s nothing more.

      Even if I would try a million times to squeeze out a genuine smile from me to him in front of the public, both of us always end up looking away like we don’t know each other. And the next worst part is that people actually notice. Fans are already sending fan letters asking me what has happened to the iconic Tom and Jerry? I would answer if Jung Min ever gave me an answer, but no, he didn’t. This silent war between us explains his rejection but an answer would have been better.

      I’m wondering what’ll happen on the day when some MC from a show would ask us about this. I wonder what Jung Min’s reaction would be; will he lie or will he ignore the question just as he’s ignoring me right now?

      And do you know the last worst part of this which the ultimate worst out of it all? It’s the fact that it hurts. It’s hurting me more than I imagined. I would resolve this but I don’t have guts, instead I just bury my head in both hands and try to get some sleep because I haven’t been able to sleep properly in over a week. Or maybe in six months?

      Not so long after I closed eyes, my phone starts vibrating next to me on the table. I’m not in the mood to talk with anyone but we are not allowed to ignore calls unless they are private. So I have to see who it is.

      Oh well… that’s the last person I would answer my phone for. This might be maybe the second or third call he has given me during the past few months. It’s not very likely to him to call me at this hour; it’s past ten at night.

      We are allowed to reject private calls aren’t we? So yeah, I won’t answer.

      Wait… he isn’t private for me anymore. We aren’t friends anymore. This is clearly work-based and I’m left with no choice but to answer.

      “Jung Mi-”

      He talks before I do. “Why are fans sending me letters asking what is wrong with the two of us?” He snaps at the phone.

      My eyebrows rise.

      “Because… something is wrong between us” I say with pauses.

      “Yes but we weren’t obvious about it” I feel the unfamiliarity towards me in his voice.

      “I don’t know” I say in an annoyed tone trying to match up with his one.

      “I wasn’t. Were you?”

      “I wasn’t either”

      “Then how did anyone notice? This has to be your fault. I’m pretty sure you should have done something”

      His words piss me off.

      “What do you mean it’s my fault? Don’t we always watch whatever we feature in? Why did it take you so long to notice whether I would have done anything? You didn’t see it until someone wrote about it to you?” This might be the longest conversation we had after filming finished.

      “We need to talk about this. It’s becoming an issue now and it might affect our careers” He says in a low tone; less angry and complaining.

      “Oh now you wanna talk?” I ask in a sarcastic tone.

      “Yes! Now I want to talk. We need to clarify this before media picks up on it”

      “How is talking going to help?”

      “Come over. If we meet outside that’s going to cause some scandal between us after that stupid film we did” He addressed it as a stupid film.

      I take a deep breath.

      “What are we even going to talk about Jung Minah?” My tone has changed into a vulnerable one.

      “Whatever that would help us to get over this”

      “Get over what?”

      “Just come” He hangs up.

      I sigh staring at my locked screen. Do I have the courage to face him alone? I got to know from Kyu Jongah yesterday that his family has gone to country-side for a funeral. He must be home-alone neither he wouldn’t have asked me to come over anyway. But… but can I really do this?

      It might be uncomfortable and I might end up getting hurt again right?

Bracing myself for whatever that’s going to happen, I take a cab to his house. I’m too tired and shaken to drive at this hour. I feel utterly uncomfortable and isolated as I take the stairs. I feel like crying because I’m hurt; I’m always the one who’s hurt.

      I knock on his door and I hear the handle turning. I take a deep breath and try to fake a smile. But he opens the door with a stiff face and walks right in without even greeting me or asking me to come in. I wait for about five seconds at the doorstep and push myself into his house even if I wasn’t invited properly.

      He paces to the dining table and picks up two open beer bottles. After placing one bottle on the table in front of the sofa he walks back to the dining table and sit on one of its chairs. So am I being asked or ordered to sit on the sofa? Whatever, I close the door behind me and quietly sit on his sofa making sure that I’m not facing him.

      We stay quiet for a while sipping the beers. The only sound present in the room is our breathing and the liquids hitting the glass walls inside the bottles.

      And then he wakes up his voice. “So this…” He starts but pause.

      I don’t look up at him nor do I react to his words. I wait for him to finish the sentence but he doesn’t. So I decide to speak.

      “I asked you before coming what are we even going to talk. I knew this was going to be another silent treatment we usually give to each other” I sigh.

      “Okay fine, let’s talk” He snaps.

      “Fine” I snap back.