It was a perfect Saturday morning , and here I am waiting at the park for my best friend while watching all those kids playing everywhere and couples walking together talking with o much love in their eyes. I envy them, that they have found the other half who loves them back just as much. While I'm sitting here waiting for the guy who made me in the friend zone forever. Gosh how I hate him so much, nono who am I kidding? I shouldn't have let myself love him yet I've fallen so deeply in love with him. I don't know if he really doesn’t know about my feelings or his head is just that thick. Or maybe I'm just so good at hiding my feelings.  Anyway, it hurts and I hate it.

I have to get away. I need to get away from him. I won't be able to just forget and move on when we meet so often. I had so many thoughts , should I tell him that I'm leaving or just leave? But if I just leave like that won't he be sad? Will he miss me? Will he search for me? No, I shouldn't have thoughts like these, and I can't just leave like that, right?

Finally I decided to give him a call telling him to meet at the park. Our favorite park. We used to meet there almost every day after collage. But somehow we didn't have that much time to go there after graduating.  So many laughter and smiles were shared at this very place. And so many tears were shed by me alone because of him. I'm going to miss this place that held so many memories.

I heard my phone ringing waking me up from my thoughts, looking at the screen I smiled a little. I opened the message that was sent from "my hero" as I saved him many years ago on my cellphone.

     "From: my hero

          It looks like I'm going to be a little late, sudden meeting! Sorry~ OTL"

Smiling once again at the cute emoticon , I send a message back telling him it was okay and that I'll wait for him.

I sighed looking up at the blue sky , remembering why exactly I called him my hero with a sad smile. It started when I moved to another school actually another part of the country because of my dad's job. I was the new kid in middle school 3^rd year , the new toy they  were going to bully. I wasn't sociably awkward , and I wasn't ugly as well.  Just an average teenager, but somehow they found ways to bully me. It lasted for about 2 months , until one day he came to save me from being showered with rotten milk. Well actually it was all spilled on him. And since he was the popular kid at school for being the captain of the soccer team, nobody dared to get near me again after this incident. He didn't threaten them or get angry he only smiled and told them to stop bothering me. And that was it, they stopped and I was amazed about how much they respect that guy. I was grateful as well and since then I started to call him my hero in my head. That was when I started to admire him from afar.

We never talked after that incident. Not until we were paired up in a biology project in high school. Yeah, I was that lucky that we went to the same high school as well. We started to talk more and getting to know each other, and that's when I started to admire him from up close. I started to notice all the small things he does, his beautiful eyes, those long eyelashes. And most importantly his smile, which I have fallen in love with since the first time I saw it. The only thing I'm going to miss the most.

I felt my eyes get teary and a heavy feeling overcoming me. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to not let the tears escape them. And that was the worst idea ever, all the memories we had together came up to my mind. How he laughed when he discovered that I called him my hero. And when we graduated together. When he congratulated me for passing my dream college entrance exam with a hug and a nice dinner.

All the birthdays surprises, the gifts, that necklace he gave me five years ago yet I still wear it. All the hugs , smiles, and when he took care of me whenever I was sick. Or pretending to be sick just to make him take care of me and be by my side. When he whipped away my tears, and when he kissed me goodnight. Which after, he smiled and said sorry. That he didn't mean to. He only wanted me to stop crying.

I still ask myself why did he give me that damn kiss, that made me stay till this point. Wondering if he ever felt the same, maybe he was shy. Or afraid of rejection? It wasn't any of these, I came to know that when we told me that he's going to marry this girl he has been talking about since forever. His co-worker , the prettiest girl he have ever seen , as he told me. And that was the worst day of all, I felt a new kind of pain I've never ever experienced before. That's when I lost all the remaining hopes in me, and I stopped asking why he gave me that kiss. I stopped wondering why he sometimes looked at me with loving eyes which said I was the one. I stopped recalling all the times he held my hands and called me the prettiest. I stopped caring about all these thoughts and decided to move on.

Opening my eyes I could see his figure coming from afar. I whipped the tears that slipped from my eyes and tried to smile. I stood up when he reached the bench I was sitting on and gave him a small hug.

-"Hey Lu." I said after breaking the hug and sitting back down :"How was your day?"

-"Tiring as hell! I thought I was going to die, but we finally made that deal we had been working on since forever."

-"Oh my! Congratulations!! You deserve it, you've been working so hard and ignoring your little poor friend in here" I pouted a bit.

He smiled that beautiful smile of his and reached his hand to pinch my cheeks:"Awwwii stop being cute, eih? Act your age."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his hand away pulling out my tongue making him laugh and melt my already shattered heart. How much I am going to miss this. And miss him.

-"is there something wrong?" he asked noticing my sudden mood change, I only shook my head and smiled a little.

-"okay! So anyway you are going to treat me to lunch tomorrow, since we succeeded in that deal. "

-"T…tomorrow?" I said looking up at him only to regret it. Damn those eyes.

-"Yes! Why are you busy or something? It's Sunday after all. But if you're busy we can meet today I can delay my date with fiancée. I know she wouldn't mind."

You fiancée. You just had to say it , right? I swallowed nervously looking everywhere but him. I don’t know how to say it to him. I don't know what words I'd use. I felt his hands on my chin turning my head to look at him ever so lightly as if he was afraid he would hurt me. Or maybe he was afraid of what I was going to say.

-"There's something wrong, tell me. I'm your best friend right?" I gulped when I heard that word, oh how much I hated it. I sighed trying to hold it all in and not break down infront of him.

-"I won't be here tomorrow Luhan.." I paused looking at his confused face :" and I won't be here by tonight."

He grew more confused:" What? Are you going on a vacation or what? Ah! You are going to visit your parents in town."

I shook my head:" No I'm not going on a vacation, or visiting my parents."

He laughed a little:" Then where are you going?" he said with so much curious eyes, and confusion is still written all over his face. I took a deep breath and began to explain.

-"I was offered a job in the U.S Lu, my flight is today at 10pm."  I looked down at my shoes waiting for his reaction but nothing came from his mouth , I looked up once again and he had an expressionless face. I wonder what's going on his mind right now, is he angry? Sad? Mad? Happy? What are you thinking?

-"But you were supposed to be at my wedding, you're my best-.."

-"Don't!" I looked away trying not to let my tears fall. Out of all the words he could say in the world , he choose those? The wedding , is that all it matters to you? Best friend?

-"What?" he looked hurt now and confused  even more than before "You don't want to be in my wedding..?" he was looking at me carefully studying me like he always did, trying to figre out what was wrong. But I guess this time he couldn't figure out, or maybe he did.

-"Are you really this stupid Luhan? Or you don't want to hurt me?"

-"I don't know-…" once again I cut him off.

-"No Luhan I can't be at your wedding , I don't want to." I paused swallowing the huge gulp in my throat :"I can't just simply watch you marry another girl, the girl that took you from me, that took away all my hopes."

I shook my head :"No..no. I shouldn't blame her. I'm the one at fault , I should've told you earlier."

-"To..told me..what?" he asked getting closer trying to hold my hand for me to calm down, but I avoided it then looked at him..

-"I'm sorry.." I paused looking down then straight in his eyes again :"I'm sorry .. I have to go now, I'll be late." I took some little steps backwards, while he reached for my hands and grabbed it.

-"Are you..are really going to leave?" his eyes were shinning like always. Or those were tears? He shook his head "No, no ,no! don't leave , you can't leave!" he held on my hands tighter making it harder for me to let go.

Sighing for the umpteenth time with tears falling down now :"I've to go Lu, please!".

He slowly let go of my hands and I looked at him for the last time :"I wish you all the best Luhan, be happy with your wife. And treat her nice." I paused for a while :"Always be happy , always smile that smile I've fallen in love with…" I smiled bitterly :"I'll always be thankful for you, and I'll.." I shook my head and smiled again :"Goodbye Luhan."

He only stared at me with sad eyes, he didn’t know what to do. He was speechless and hurt. But I have to go, so I turned back and walked away. Leaving all this behind me hoping for a new fresh start.

*And I Will…forget you.*