Everyday I hoped. All day I wished. All night I dreamed. Just to be noticed. 

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I like him. That's all I can say. He is perfect. Plain perfect in everyway. I wanted one night just for him to stay. Maybe a few hours or possibly a day. We all have these moments. Those will soon fade away. Our love is fading. In the end, no one will stay.

"I made food." He simply said, his hand pointing to the kitchen.
"Oh. Okay." I nodded.
I felt him look away. My focus back into my computer, scrolling down the page. Reading a few informations about my new project. 
I felt a pair of eyes looking straight back at me. With such intense glare. I tried to not mind. I tried to ignore, then I felt some weight on the bed.
"Aren't you going to eat?" His low raspy voice rang in my head.
"Maybe. Just later." I shrugged, fascinated by his sudden kindness.
"Well, shouldn't you care more about your health. Over some, project?" He sighed, as though he is not impressed by my attitude.
"But. I just got started." I tried to reason.
"But I don't want to eat alone." He said with a slight frown.
I raised my head, looking at him in a confused way. What was he saying? I do not understand. Did he just said, he wanted me to accompany him?
"Alright." I smiled, closing the computer. Standing up and walking past him, across the living room to the kitchen.
"What are you so busy at?" He asked, leaning over the wall.
"A new project." I answered shortly, looking over the pot of my favourite soup. " ooh. This smells nice." 
He seemed unsatisfied, taking a sit rather roughly. Causing a noise. I tensed, bringing a pot of soup towards him.
We have gone a little bit dull, this relationship. Maybe it's what they say as the downfall.
I looked at him. His beautiful features. From his dyed ruffly hair, his furrowed thick eyebrows, his beautiful eyes, his liscious lips. They all looked tempting. But why doesn't it gave my heart the thump. The thump I had years ago. The first time we laid eyes on each other. 
Was it really happening?
I didnt realize i was staring so hard, he was looking back at me. Trying to figure out what i'm up to.
"What are you doing?" He said, his mouth half chewing.
"Nothing.. Just.. Just forget it." I smiled.
I started to eat. Putting the food into my mouth. Chewing it ever so silently and slow. I tried to enjoy it, but it wasn't easy. I couldn't help to admit, that this is falling apart.
I still want us. I still want this.
I felt him look back at me. My eyes getting watery. His eyes widened in reflex and placed down his eating utensil.
"I'm okay." I smiled again, reassuring everything as I stood up to get some drink. Trying to swallow everything, including my pride.
I walked back to the kitchen, rubbing my eyes. It was damp, but not so wet. I took a glass, the first one i saw. It belongs to a pair. The one we bought at a valentine sale. 
Suddenly I felt a pair of hands snake around my waist. His face snuggled into my nape as i felt him breathe in. It felt warm, i felt... Safe.
"K..kyungsoo..." I managed to mumble.
It's been such a long time since we've been like this and me saying his name.
"Why are you like this?" He sighed, his body pressing closer to mine.
"I'm.. Okay." I said again.
"Just admit it. You are not." He snickered, his body moving from his small laugh.
"What am I suppose to admit?" I sighed, relaxing myself.
"That you miss us. You miss me." He said proudly.
"Dont you?" I mumbled, soft enough for me to hear.
"I dont know. Do you?" He asked back. I felt like he is trying to trick me, maybe this marks the end of the relationship. That he will soon let go of my waist. 
I didn't let the chance fade away. I know what I want. I know what I have to do. Either of us has to stay.
I held the wrists of his manly hands and turned myself to him. Our faces are so close.
It was then our eyes met. His eyes filled with questions and mine full of faith. I felt the thump again.
But this time it was different, i felt the urge. The urge to feel him. His lips on mine. 
It was wonderfull. I closed my eyes, to feel it all. Maybe one day i could lose this.
His grip on my waist tightened. The feeling of his lips reacting. I felt like losing my balance along with my conscience. It was beautiful.
"Kyungsoo.." I accidentally moaned.
"Hm?" He chuckled, his face pulling away.
"Kiss me again." I asked, shamelessly.
He smirked, making me wonder if it was a yes.
He did. I felt his lips back on mine. Making me wake up, telling myself this is not a dream.
I felt like crying. Tears of joy. I was too happy. It was really happening.
He pulled away again. His lips planted on my forehead.
"I know you're still there." He whispered.
It hit me again. We've been together for years. I've faced as much obstacles as he did, we struggled to keep this relationship. So why can't we keep it?
"Are you still interested in me?" I asked. Pulling my hand over his neck. Close enough to be waltzing.
"I love you pabo." He chuckled.
"Even if i'm not the girl you wished to end up with?" I asked again. One of the  numerous questions buried in my head.
"I didn't expect it. It was handed over to me. So i only know how to cherish it." He said calmly.
I forgot how soothing his voice is to me. I forgot how caring he actually is. I only knew that he was someone i never actually belonged to. But the words he say, made me forget those.
That night, we left the dishes in the sink. And went to the bedroom. Snuggled tight under covers as we reminisced.
It was dull. But he was there. At least, we're both staying. Neither one of us is ever leaving.

 

this is it!

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